Pharaoh RutinTutin

Well, these boots are made for walking.

Am I watching or Am I being watched

We may be reaching a break in this story? Maybe we can get some new installments of TF Busters? Howsabowtz a new Writer's Block story? NP would be a great place to run some classic style Q&A comics. It has been so long since we've seen them, do we really need to wait until April for an update on the AF04 crew? And will we EVER get to see Pirate Grace in a comic?

Or perhaps he lives in the Indianapolis Speedway. mlooney? Are the cars in your neighborhood annoyingly loud and driven much too fast? Are car wrecks the highlight of everybody's day?

I didn't forget how Susan turned blonde in the Mall Mele (I tried to combine the words, but Mali is already a country). What surprised me is that I didn't even consider, at the time, that a witness watching the fight might confuse blonde Susan for Diane. It would be like if Superman was wearing glasses when he had to fight some monster, and people confused him with Clark Kent. Of course, Diane might be able to derail the conversation by bringing up the fact she is related to Mr Raven. But I'm pretty sure neither one of them is ready to allow those felines egress from the soft sided luggage.

24 August 79 AD – Mount Vesuvius erupts, burying the cities of Pompeii, Herculaneum, and Stabiae in volcanic ash. It should be noted that this is the TRADITIONAL date for the eruption. Some scholars believe that the event occurred on October 24. If we ever get public acknowledgement of a working time machine, this detail will be very important to know before planning a historical trip to the Bay of Naples. 367 – Gratian, son of Roman Emperor Valentinian I, is named co-Augustus at the age of eight by his father . Bring-your-child-to-work-day taken to the extreme. 394 – The Graffito of Esmet-Akhom, the latest known inscription in Egyptian hieroglyphs, was written. Romans wonder why the Egyptians bother making public inscriptions in a language almost no one can read anymore. After the fall of the Western Roman Empire, cultural descendants of Romans would continue making public inscriptions in Latin just because of tradition. 410 – The Visigoths under king Alaric I begin to pillage Rome. This goes so well... 455 – The Vandals, led by king Genseric, begin to plunder Rome. Pope Leo I requests Genseric not destroy the ancient city or murder its citizens. He agrees and the gates of Rome are opened. However, the Vandals loot a great amount of treasure. "Don't kill anyone. Don't destroy the buildings. Don't break anything that's too big to move. If you do those things, we will let you leave with as much as you can carry." Maybe the city should re examine how they recruit, train, staff, and equip the police? 1215 – Pope Innocent III declares Magna Carta invalid. And yet, it remained in effect as a fundamental part of English law for several centuries. Up to and beyond the point when Mr VIII declared that Pope's declarations in England were invalid. If English law had been selectively ignoring Papal decrees for centuries, why was the court of Mr VIII so worked up about the detail that the Pope wouldn't officially annul the King's first marriage? 1349 – Six thousand Jews are killed in Mainz after being blamed for the bubonic plague. This does nothing to end further plague outbreaks. It is just easier to blame, capture, and kill humans rather than microbes, fleas, and rats. 1456 – The printing of the Gutenberg Bible is completed. This is soon followed by the printing of everything else. 1608 – The first official English representative to India lands in Surat. This inaugurates centuries of peaceful relations based upon mutual respect and recognition of the sovereignty of the people and nations of the Indian subcontinent. 1662 – The Act of Uniformity requires England to accept the Book of Common Prayer. Because matters of faith and dogma should not be left in the hands of career theologians but determined by pandering politicians. 1690 – Job Charnock of the East India Company establishes a factory in Calcutta, an event formerly considered the founding of the city. In 2003 the Calcutta High Court ruled that the city's foundation date is unknown. A Colonial business starts a new venture in a distant place without investigating or recording what was in that place previously? I'm sure that is a aberration and unlikely to ever happen any where else. 1781 – American Revolutionary War: A small force of Pennsylvania militia is ambushed and overwhelmed by an American Indian group, which forces George Rogers Clark to abandon his attempt to attack Detroit. Detroit? Was Clark really determined to capture Motown, or was he just looking for an excuse to say "We tried. Couldn't do it. Sorry." 1814 – British troops invade Washington, D.C. and during the Burning of Washington the White House, the Capitol and many other buildings are set ablaze. Dolley Madison's rescue of national art treasures elevates the role of presidential wife to First Lady of the United States. Today, Dolly Madison is best known for prepackaged snack cakes. 1869 – Cornelius Swartwout is awarded U.S. Patent 94,043 for a Waffle iron. In later years, the day would become National Waffle Day in the United States. This should not be confused with Election Day. 1891 – Thomas Edison patents the motion picture camera. If you didn't like what was printed after Gutenberg finished the Bible, you will absolutely hate what Hollywood does with Edison's camera. 1932 – Amelia Earhart becomes the first woman to fly across the United States non-stop (from Los Angeles to Newark, New Jersey). I understand flying away from LA. But why fly towards Newark of all places? 1941 – Adolf Hitler orders the cessation of Nazi Germany's systematic T4 euthanasia program of the mentally ill and the handicapped due to protests, although killings continue for the remainder of the war. That thing herr Schicklgruber told you to do back in 1939? He has been getting a lot of complaints about it, so he doesn't want the complainers to hear about you doing it any more. 1958 – Birth of Steve Guttenberg, American actor and producer. Not the guy who printed the Bible in 1456. 1967 – Led by Abbie Hoffman, the Youth International Party temporarily disrupts trading at the New York Stock Exchange by throwing dollar bills from the viewing gallery, causing trading to cease as brokers scramble to grab them. Brokers making multi-million dollar deals dropped what they were doing to chase after a few singles? 1989 – Cincinnati Reds manager Pete Rose is banned from baseball for gambling by Commissioner A. Bartlett Giamatti. Any bets on whether or not he makes it into the Hall of Fame? 1991 – Mikhail Gorbachev resigns as head of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union. On the same day, Ukraine declares itself independent from the Soviet Union. At this point, there really isn't a Soviet Union. 1992 – Hurricane Andrew makes landfall in Homestead, Florida as a Category 5 hurricane, causing up to $25 billion (1992 USD) in damages. Including blowing the WSR-57 weather radar and the anemometer off the roof of National Hurricane Center's/the Miami State Weather Forecast offices in Coral Gables. 1995 – Microsoft Windows 95 was released to inflicted on the public in North America. 1995 – Birth of Lady Amelia Sophia Theodora Mary Margaret Windsor, English fashion model and 38th in the line of succession to the British throne. Just in case the modeling career doesn't work out. 2006 – The International Astronomical Union (IAU) redefines the term "planet" such that Pluto is now considered a dwarf planet. People who normally care very little about science find this very offensive. Pluto itself does not seem affected at all. 2016 – An earthquake strikes Central Italy with a magnitude of 6.2, with aftershocks felt as far as Rome and Florence. Or will some academic reinterpretation of records insist that this took place in October?

23 August 30 BC – Imperial Housekeeping. After the successful invasion of Egypt, Octavian executes Marcus Antonius Antyllus, eldest son of Mark Antony, and Caesarion, the last king of the Ptolemaic dynasty of Egypt and only child of Julius Caesar and Cleopatra. Yes, this is housekeeping. That is, these are the things you must do if you want to keep an imperial house. AD 79 – Earthquakes are noted in Pompeii and elsewhere around Mount Vesuvius on the feast day of Vulcan, the Roman god of fire. This is probably nothing important. 1775 – American Revolutionary War: King George III delivers his Proclamation of Rebellion to the Court of St James's stating that the American colonies have proceeded to a state of open and avowed rebellion. George III realized this almost a year before the revolting Americans got around to formally declaring independence? Apparently the man had not yet gone mad. 1939 – World War II: Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union sign a non-aggression treaty, the Molotov–Ribbentrop Pact. In a secret addition to the pact, the Baltic states, Finland, Romania, and Poland are divided between the two nations. (In later years, this would be commemorated by European Day of Remembrance for Victims of Stalinism and Nazism or Black Ribbon Day.) The biggest bullies have divided up the playground...

Shopping. This is how the conversation gets turned to the melee at the mall.

392 – Arbogast has Eugenius elected Western Roman Emperor. The Barbarian General just tells the Senate who they should name as the figurehead leader? There have been worse succession plans... 1485 – The Battle of Bosworth Field, the death of Richard III , last king from the House of York. The end of Plantagenet dynasty. And the beginning of the renaissance in Britain. If a King must meet a violent end, it should be memorable. 1642 – Charles I raises his standard in Nottingham, which marks the beginning of the English Civil War. King Charles twice attempted to start a civil war in a country he already nominally ruled,. Lost both times. And in the end still might have kept his throne (and more importantly, his head) if only he had been willing to concede that side that beat him could impose the terms for his surrender. 1777 – British forces abandon the Siege of Fort Stanwix after hearing rumors of Continental Army reinforcements. Rumors? This is an actual military tactic? Ok, major points for achieving strategic objectives with minimal loss of lives and materials on both sides. But, darnitol, it just doesn't make for a good movie. 1798 – French troops land at Kilcummin, County Mayo, Ireland to aid the rebellion. Because no matter else what France may be doing, it always has time to help anyone fighting England. 1864 – Twelve nations sign the First Geneva Convention, establishing the rules of protection of the victims of armed conflicts. So we should not kill civilians and soldiers who surrender indiscriminately? This will never catch on. 1902 – Theodore Roosevelt becomes the first President of the United States to make a public appearance in an automobile. Up until then, it had been thought that these motorized horseless carriages were undignified. It didn't take long for people to realize the vehicle did not make the politician undignified. 1968 – Pope Paul VI arrives in Bogotá, Colombia. It is the first visit of a pope to Latin America. Less than fifty years later, the Pope is from Latin America. Coincidence? 1971 – J. Edgar Hoover and John Mitchell announce the arrest of 20 of the Camden 28. This high profile bust turns out to be a bust for the Department of Justice.

Just put Colonel Sanders in command of the City Guard. That should stop those fowl rumors.

21 August 1614 – Death of Elizabeth Báthory, Hungarian countess and serial killer. It seems Countess Dracula didn't bathe in enough blood to preserve her indefinitely. 1770 – James Cook formally claims eastern Australia for Great Britain, naming it New South Wales. The continent of Australia isn't all that big. Captain Cook should have just claimed the whole thing at one time. And why specifically New South Wales? New Wales? Sure. There was already a New England, New France, New Spain. Or perhaps South Wales since it is rather close to Antarctica. But New and South Wales? 1879 – Knock, Knock? In the village of Knock, County Mayo, Ireland, where observers stated that there was an apparition of the Blessed Virgin Mary, Saint Joseph, Saint John the Evangelist, angels, and Jesus Christ (the Lamb of God). Hopefully this is a supernatural apparition. It will take a miracle to save this Knock, Knock joke. 1883 – An F5 tornado strikes Rochester, Minnesota, leading to the creation of the Mayo Clinic. Apparently whipped eggs can cure anything. 1911 – The Mona Lisa is stolen by Vincenzo Perugia, a Louvre employee. Just what could you possibly do with a piece of stolen art that famous? 1993 – NASA loses contact with the Mars Observer spacecraft. The biggest problem with unmanned spacecraft is that there is no one there to give the silly thing a quick kick when it doesn't start.

Well, there are some people who have their fat entirely within their head.

In general, how old are girls when they first realize that all boys are jerks?

Fifty more pixels? What? Am I made of pixels? You say the NP needs fifty more pixels and I'm just supposed to give up fifty more pixels every time a new NP comes out? Back in my day, we had to work for our pixels. Why I remember one pixel I had to carry for an entire year. Five miles to school, barefoot in the snow, uphill both ways...

Stopped at the Wawa* on the way home for gas and ordered a toasted roll with cream cheese. The girl at the counter actually asked if I was just going to eat that roll. Today, I also put jelly on it. But yes, I do eat rolls with cream cheese. Is that really so unusual? * Wawa has been brought up in this forum before. If you don't know them, it takes too long to explain.

19 August 295 BC – The Third Samnite War, which involved Samnites, Etruscans, Picentes, Umbrains, Pretutti, Narnians, Gauls, and Romans. On again - off again Roman Consul Quintus Fabius Maximus Gurges dedicates the first temple to Venus, the Roman goddess of love, beauty and fertility. Quintus Fabius Maximus Gurges? I'm not a Latin expert, but doesn't that name translate to The Fifth Fabulous Maximum Glutton? I suppose everything sounds scholarly, legal, imperial, or sacred in Latin. 43 BC – Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus, later known as Augustus, compels the Roman Senate to elect him Consul. This is strictly a temporary positon. 14 AD – After ruling for 44 years, the first Emperor of the Roman Empire, Augustus, dies. His stepson Tiberius is his successor. There, Octavius wasn't Consul forever. 1561 – Mary, Queen of Scots, who was 18 years old, returns to Scotland after spending 13 years in France. Are you really "Queen of a People" when you have spent over two thirds of your life living among another people? 1612 – The "Samlesbury witches", three women from the Lancashire village of Samlesbury, England, are put on trial, accused of practicing witchcraft, one of the most famous witch trials in British history. A famous Witch trial in British history, but not the one that comes to mind for many Americans. 1692 – Salem witch trials: In Salem, Province of Massachusetts Bay, five people, one woman and four men, including a clergyman, are executed after being convicted of witchcraft. This is the big Witch Trial in American history. 1812 – War of 1812: American frigate USS Constitution defeats the British frigate HMS Guerriere off the coast of Nova Scotia, Canada earning the nickname "Old Ironsides". Raymond Burr is not even on board at the time. 1839 – The French government announces that Louis Daguerre's photographic process is a gift "free to the world". Eventually, Daguerre would get a lifetime pension from France. But the secretive way he and his associates tried to sell the invention, rather than simply enforcing a normal patent, would in the end only slow the development of photography. 1848 – California Gold Rush: The New York Herald breaks the news to the East Coast of the United States of the gold rush in California (although the rush started in January). "There's Gold!" is an announcement that usually travels much faster. 1854 – The First Sioux War begins when United States Army soldiers kill Lakota chief Conquering Bear and in return are massacred. Did the soldiers really expect that the Lakota would not respond? 1862 – American Indian Wars: During an uprising in Minnesota, Lakota warriors decide not to attack heavily defended Fort Ridgely and instead turn to the settlement of New Ulm, killing white settlers along the way. Did the soldiers really expect that the Lakota would attack the facility that had all the weapons? 1909 – The first automobile race at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. This could be amusing. Maybe try it again next year? 1919 – Afghanistan gains full independence from the United Kingdom. No other country should now be meddling in the affairs of this Central Asian state. 1960 – Sputnik program: Korabl-Sputnik 2: The Soviet Union launches the satellite with the dogs Belka and Strelka, 40 mice, two rats and a variety of plants. The dogs were recorded barking at a reflective American satellite when it appeared in the capsule window. This was the first space flight with animals where the animals returned safely to Earth. Generally seen as a desirable result for future human space flight. 1989 – Polish president Wojciech Jaruzelski nominates Solidarity activist Tadeusz Mazowiecki to be the first non-communist prime minister in 42 years. Interesting... 1989 – Several hundred East Germans cross the frontier between Hungary and Austria during the Pan-European Picnic, part of the events that began the process of the Fall of the Berlin Wall. Eastern European Communism may be struggling. 1991 – Dissolution of the Soviet Union, August Coup: Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev is placed under house arrest while on holiday in the town of Foros, Ukraine. Eastern European Communism is definitely struggling. 2017 – Tens of thousands of farmed non-native Atlantic salmon are accidentally released into the wild in Washington waters in the 2017 Cypress Island Atlantic salmon pen break. There is something fishy about the East Coast - West Coast Feud.

A lot of young Sci-Fi fans are inspired by the fandom to study actual science. Many science students and scientists continue to be Sci-Fi fans. A fair amount of techno-babble and Pay-No-Attention-To-The-Man-Behind-The-Curtain is expected. But when a significant portion of your audience has elementary scientific literacy, you need the impossible stuff to be college level mistakes.

18 August 1572 – Marriage in Paris, France, of the Huguenot King Henry III of Navarre to Margaret of Valois, in a supposed attempt to reconcile Protestants and Catholics. Because a politically arranged marriage will resolve the religious differences of millions of unrelated people. 1587 – Virginia Dare, granddaughter of Governor John White of the Colony of Roanoke, becomes the first English child born in the Americas. Perhaps not funny, but when I was a child this fact was still recited as "Virginia Dare was the first child born in America". 1590 – John White, the governor of the Roanoke Colony, returns from a supply trip to England and finds his settlement deserted. That grand daughter of his was a disruptive influence. 1612 – The trial of the Pendle witches, one of England's most famous witch trials, begins at Lancaster Assizes. There is nothing like the justice of a Witch Trial, because you will find nothing like justice at a witch trial. 1634 – Urbain Grandier, accused and convicted of sorcery, is burned alive in Loudun, France. As I was saying... 1783 – A huge fireball meteor is seen across Great Britain as it passes over the east coast. A lot of contradictory testimony surrounded the event. Too bad the people of England weren't using dashboard cameras like the Russians of Chelyabinsk would in 2013. 1868 – French astronomer Pierre Janssen discovers helium. Until then, no one knew why the Sun had such a high pitched and squeaky voice. 1920 – The Nineteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution is ratified, guaranteeing women's suffrage. I don't know how to prove it, but it seems that as the ability to vote is spread to more people, the appeal of the candidates goes down. 1938 – The Thousand Islands Bridge, connecting New York, United States with Ontario, Canada over the Saint Lawrence River, is dedicated by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt. The bridge is built on a lie. It touches less than a dozen islands between the US and Canadian sides of the St Lawrence River. No where near the Thousand Islands promised. 1958 – Vladimir Nabokov's controversial novel Lolita is published in the United States. If Nabokov had replaced Humbert with a Tentacle Monster, he could have illustrated the story as a Manga and the critics would have left it alone.

By everything that is good, may your insurance approve a better facility than that which took in my mother after her hip broke.

17 August 1498 – Cesare Borgia, son of Pope Alexander VI (Yes, the Son of the Pope by his mistress), becomes the first person in history to resign the cardinalate; later that same day, King Louis XII of France names him Duke of Valentinois. His struggle, and ultimate failure, to maintain rule over lands given to him by relatives and friends becomes the inspiration for The Prince by Niccolò di Bernardo dei Machiavelli. 1585 – A first group of colonists sent by Sir Walter Raleigh under the charge of Ralph Lane lands in the New World to create Roanoke Colony on Roanoke Island, off the coast of present-day North Carolina. SPOILER ALERT: This does not turn out well. 1907 – Pike Place Market, a popular tourist destination and registered historic district in Seattle, opened. If you want to catch a fish, they will throw you a 11/2 foot, 10 pound Sockeye. Or they might knock you over with a 3 foot, 40 pound Chinook. 1930 – World Premier of The Wrath Of Harve Bennett. 1943 – World War II: A busy day for the Allies. The U.S. Eighth Air Force suffers the loss of 60 bombers on the Schweinfurt–Regensburg mission. They might want to rethink having bombers without fighter escort fly deep into enemy territory. The U.S. Seventh Army under General George S. Patton arrives in Messina, Italy, followed several hours later by the British 8th Army under Field Marshal Bernard Montgomery, thus completing the Allied conquest of Sicily. Wasn't Montgomery supposed to capture the city of Messina? Why didn't Patton stick to the plan? First Québec Conference of Winston Churchill, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and William Lyon Mackenzie King begins. Since they were meeting in Canada, Churchill and Roosevelt thought it would be nice to invite the Canadian Prime Minister. At least for the Photo Op. Hail Hydra? The Royal Air Force begins Operation Hydra, the first air raid of the Operation Crossbow strategic bombing campaign against Germany's V-weapon program. 1945 – The novella Animal Farm by George Orwell is first published. Because it was critical of Stalin, nobody in Britain would publish it until after the war was over. But who would believe politics could be dominated by pigs who have their mindless followers shut down all discussion and dissent by repeatedly shouting slogans? 1958 – Pioneer 0, America's first attempt at lunar orbit, is launched using the first Thor-Able rocket and fails. Notable as one of the first attempted launches beyond Earth orbit by any country. It would have been even more notable if it had gotten any where near the moon. 1959 – Quake Lake is formed by the magnitude 7.5 1959 Hebgen Lake earthquake near Hebgen Lake in Montana. And they had just printed all those maps. 1998 – Lewinsky scandal: US President Bill Clinton admits in taped testimony that he had an "improper physical relationship" with White House intern Monica Lewinsky; later that same day he admits before the nation that he "misled people" about the relationship. Did we mention that five hundred years earlier the POPE had several children with more than one woman? 2008 – American swimmer Michael Phelps becomes the first person to win eight gold medals at one Olympic Games. At what point does "success" become "ostentatious"? Also, 17 August is National Vanilla Custard Day. Although I really don't know why.

I must disagree with your meticulous analysis of history. Have you been to Detroit? Hull was probably under orders to get rid of the silly thing. And while I'm at it for 16 August... 1916 – The Migratory Bird Treaty between Canada and the United States is signed. Now the population of Florida swells six months each year as "Snowbirds" drive south for the winter. 1933 – Birth of Julie Newmar. Meow. 1962 – Pete Best is discharged from The Beatles, to be replaced two days later by Ringo Starr. What ever it was, I'm sure Mr Best is sorry and promises not to do it again if Sir James Paul McCartney would take him back.

Aretha Louise Franklin March 25, 1942 – August 16, 2018 R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Let us all pray sincerely to whatever powers we believe in that Jack Snyder there will never be pegged to direct another Pokémon movie.

Just one little thing. These two are wearing gloves. Shouldn't little kittens be wearing mittens?

What happens when the "Good Guys" attack the "Fake Bad Guys" with real force because they don't know that the fake baddies are fake?