Pharaoh RutinTutin

 
Ellen, we know you have an unconventional relationship with most academics.  But this is one time you need to tell the powers-that-be what they want to hear rather than what you "know" to be true.  If you don't, you might lose your chance at being a University student and end up as one of Tedd's University research projects, 
Also, flightless winged elephants were probably driven extinct in Europe for the same reason winged buffalo are no longer found wild in America.  Spicy wings are just too delicious   
I'm guessing a single pachyderm wing makes an entire appetizer platter. 
 

 
Waltzing in private on the balcony is fine, I guess. 
But it's not really a party until there's a chicken dance on the open bar. 
 

 
Glare, Edward. 
Glare as if the fate of the Earth rested upon the ability of your iris to penetrate the densist teenage skull. 
 

 
Don't go out tonight 
It's bound to take your life 
There's a bathroom on the right 
 

 
And the Prince's response will be (don't try to tell me otherwise).
We can dance, if you want to. 
We can leave your friends behind. 
 

 
As the slowest running kid in the neighborhood, I was "It" for most of my childhood. 
 

 
 
ONLY if the role was played by Flip Wilson. 
 

 
 
ONLY if the role was played by Flip Wilson. 
 

 
Attempting to understand the alternate realities feels like reconciling string theory with the American electoral college. 
 

And, yes, I know that comments are only semi canon at best, and it's only canon if it's in a comic.

 
The narrow loss in 60 fed his paranoia that would cloud every political decision Nixon made for the rest of his life

 
This is reminding me of Alan Sherman's "Here's to the Crabgrass". 
 

 
The Blue & The Grace 
 

 
And all the problems of this World were resolved by consuming vast quantities of Coffee. 
 

 
I know the text reads "TEDD" 
But all I could hear was the Skipper shouting "GILLIGAN!" 
 

 
 
Actually, these are Holy See Gulls 
 

 
Edward & Sarah are, this far, the only regulars we have seen tired and grumpy.  
This my indicate that everyone else is not fully human. 
 

 
Edward & Sarah are, this far, the only regulars we have seen tired and grumpy.  
This my indicate that everyone else is not fully human. 
 

Your bill will look like a long list of phrases that are sort of comprehensible and sort of gibberish along with a stack of numbers best expressed with scientific notation 
 
 

Which is why she fell down a turbo lift shaft 
 

 
 
The Pope Secolla comment went flat. 
 

 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mgQYcOfFUs 
Somebody needs to say it
Might as well be Burl Ives 
 

 
Is The President deliberately enacting every bad idea that ever graced right wing op-ed columns to destroy the Republican party and conservative political movement without regard to what it dose to anything else? 
 

 
In case you were wondering if it was possible to be involuntarily drafted by your own choice. 
 

 
 
How careless of me. 
"Pells Book" should have been Capitalized.