Illjwamh

On December 26 in History: 268 - Death of Pope Dionysius. This is of course before the tradition of not having popes named after pagan gods. 418 - Death of Pope Zosimus. This is of course still during the tradition of having popes whose names are awesome. 1489 - Ferdinand and Isabella successfully Reconquist the city of Almeria from Muhammad XIII of Granada. "You'll never get away with this!" He yells. Followed by, "Shit, they will!" 1530 - Death of Babur, direct descendant of Timur (Tamarlane) and founder of the Mughal dyansty. That wasn't his real name; it just means "Tiger" in Persian. Probably. Some people say it's closer to "Beaver" in Russia. I bet I can guess which he preferred. 1776 - "Surprise!" ~The Continental Army to the Hessian garrison at Trenton. What's left of it, anyway. 1825 - Army officers in favor of liberalism rise up against newly crowned Tsar Nicholas I but are swiftly put down. The monarchy however uses this brush with revolution to institute sweeping reforms so this won't ever happen again. Haha, I'm just kidding; they learn nothing. 1898 - Marie Curie announces that she's isolated a new, radioactive element. Oh, and her husband helped, I guess. 1919 - Babe Ruth conjures an 85 year curse on the Boston Red Sox. 1963 - "I Want to Hold Your Hand" and "I Saw Her Standing There" are released in the United States, along with a flood of hormones. So many hormones. 1966 - The first Kwanzaa is celebrated. Just another example of the War on Christmas; people having the audacity to celebrate OTHER holidays around the same time of year. 1991 - The Supreme Court of the Soviet Union formally dissolves said union, which is a bit like forfeiting a baseball game after all but two of the players on your team have quit and gone home. 2004 - A massive earthquake in the Indian Ocean creates a tsunami that affects over a dozen countries and kills almost a quarter of a million people. I don't even believe in hell but I'm afraid I'd go there for making a joke about this one.

On December 22 in History: 69 - Emperor #3 Vitellius attempts to abdicate upon yesterday's confirmation of #4 Vespasian, but is killed instead, because it's Rome and of course he is. 244 - Birth of Diocletian. He shares his birthday with three other important figures, though his is the only one anybody remembers. 1135 - Stephen of Blois becomes King of England. Yes, there was a King Stephen. It's true; check it. Though Empress Matilda disagrees. 1183 - Genghis Khan's second son Chagatai is born. Ooh, unlucky. His chances of carving out a place for himself in history look low. 1788 - Nguyễn Huệ says he is now Emperor Quang Trung of Vietnam, and what are you going to do about it, Le Dynasty? Nothing? That's what I thought. 1808 - Beethoven conducts a concert in Vienna made entirely of premiers of his own work. Starting the show is the premier of his Sixth Symphony, followed later on in the program by the premier of his Fifth Symphony. I've been assured that this makes sense. 1885 - Itō Hirobumi becomes Japan's first Prime Minister. If you're in Korea and for whatever reason like to read these entries out loud, maybe skip this one. 1894 - French army officer Alfred Dreyfus is convicted of treason. I guess that's the last we'll be hearing of him. 1944 - U.S. General Anthony McAuliffe invokes his genitals in response to a German ultimatum demanding surrender at Bastogne, Belgium. 1968 - Mao Zedong decrees that all educated young people have to go work in the country and be poor. Surely this is the most logical path to prosperity. 1974 - The three islands of Grande Comore, Anjouan and Mohéli vote to become the nation of Comoros, while a fourth island, Mayotte, says "We're happy being part of France, thanks." 1978 - Deng Xiaoping reverses many of Mao Zedong's policies on the grounds that they were freaking insane. 1990 - The Marshall Islands and The Federated States of Micronesia obtain full independence from the United States but remain in "free association". Basically it's the Commonwealth, but less British. 2001 - British terrorist Richard Reid becomes responsible for all Americans having to take their shoes off at airport security. 2010 - Homosexuals serving in the U.S. military are now allowed to ask and/or tell according to their own discretion and desires. Too bad it's now impossible to thank Obama for anything without appearing sarcastic.

On December 21 in History: 69 - Vespasian is officially recognized by the Roman Senate as emperor. The fourth one this year. "And this is the last time; we mean it!" 1620 - The Mayflower pilgrims land on a rock in what is now Massachusetts. "This seems as good a spot as any. What should we call it? I don't care; just name it after the place we came from; that'll never confuse anyone." 1907 - Faced with at least 2,000 striking saltpeter miners in the city of Iquique, the Chilean government settles upon the expedient solution of sending the army to kill them all (and their wives and children, just to be safe). The workers are no longer striking, ergo problem solved. 1913 - The first crossword puzzle, designed by Arthur Wynne, is published in the New York World.What's a nine letter word for "frustrating", second letter's an A? 1937 - The first full-length animated feature film, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, premiers at the Carthay Circle Theatre in Los Angeles. The kitschy gimmicks some people come up with to sell a film, eh? 1940 - F. Scott Fitzgerald is shot in his swimming pool and dies. Haha no, he has a heart attack at only 44; it's sad. 1945 - After surviving two world wars, General George S. Patton dies after being paralyzed in a low speed car crash with a parked vehicle two weeks ago, in which everyone else only received minor injuries. Geez, which fate goddess did he piss off? 1948 - Birth of a badass motherfucker. 1965 - The U.N. adopts the International Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Racial Discrimination. 54 years later, some folks still haven't gotten the memo. 1988 - Pan Am flight 103 explodes over Lockerbie, Scotland due to a bomb placed there by...somebody. About the only guy we can probably rule out is the one who was convicted and served time for it.

Yes please, and thank you. On December 19 in History: 966 - Death of Sancho I, King of León. Dang, I didn't even know the band was around back then. 1154 - Henry II of England is crowned. Now at last, we can have peace. 1777 - The Continental Army under George Washington establishes winter quarters at Valley Forge, Pennsylvania. Good a place as any. 1983 - The original FIFA World Cup trophy is stolen from the Brazilian Football Confederation headquarters in Rio de Janeiro. What do you do with that? I mean, you can't exactly display it on your coffee table. 1995 - The U.S. federal government officially recognizes the existence of the Nottawaseppi Huron Band of Potawatomi, who I can assure you were there all along. 1998 - U.S. President Bill Clinton is impeached. According to Republicans in congress, this is a very grave and serious matter, and he must be held accountable for his actions, for no one is above the law. 2012 - Park Geun-hye is the first woman elected president of South Korea. I bet she'll go on to do great things.

This is objectively not true. All polls - including Fox News polls - show a (slowly) increasing majority of Americans think he should be impeached, with even 50% now saying "impeached AND removed". The latest Fox poll was as high as 54% (for impeachment; the story I saw did not include figures for impeachment and removal, though there has consistently been only a 1-4% difference between the two questions across all polls).

"Religion has actually convinced people...that there's an invisible man! Living in the sky! Who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of TEN THINGS he does NOT want you to do! And if you do ANY of these ten things, he has a special place full of fire, and smoke, and burning, and torture, and anguish, where he will send you to live, and suffer, and burn, and choke, and scream, and cry, forever and ever 'til the end of time. "But he loves you! He loves you. He loves you, and he NEEDS MONEY! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow, *thunk*, just can't handle money! "Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story, ho-ly shit." ~George Carlin

On December 18 in History: 218 BCE - The first engagement of the Second Punic War results in a crushing Roman defeat by Hannibal Barca at the Battle of the Trebia. Don't worry, lads; we'll get him next time. 1271 - Kublai Khan renames his empire (and dynasty) the Great Yuan, and claims the Mandate of Heaven to rule China. "Well shit, guys, this all checks out. Nothing we can do; I guess he's the emperor now." 1655 - "Yeah, we know we ordered all the Jews out 365 years ago, but as far as we know there's no law on the books saying they can't come back." ~English dignitaries at the Whitehall Conference. Huzzah for technicalities! 1833 - First performance of the Imperial Russian anthem, God Save the Tsar! "Oh my, how original!" ~Everyone in Britain 1878 - Ioseb Besarionis dzе Jughashvili is born in the city of Gori in Georgia. Boy, that's a mouthful. I hope if he ever makes it into the history books, he comes up with a name that's easier to remember and say. 1916 - The Battle of Verdun finally ends in a French victory after 303 days and roughly 800,000 casualties (combined from both sides). "Nice one!" ~Pyhrrus 1966 - Another moon of Saturn, called Epimetheus, is discovered by an astronomer named Richard Walker. In hindsight, we should have known it was there all along. 2001 - Billie Eilish is born. Watch out for this one. She's gonna be a bad guy, I bet. 2006 - The first parliamentary elections are held in the United Arab Emirates. The Federal National Council consists of 40 members. 20 are chosen by the rulers of the seven emirates, and the other 20 are elected by an electoral college of about 6,700 electors chosen by the rulers of the seven emirates. That seems fair. 2019 - Donald Trump becomes only the third president in U.S. History to be impeached. But forget about those other two; this impeachment is tremendous. The best impeachment anyone's ever seen in the history of our country.

If you want to know where the idea of an afterlife came from, watch the Ricky Gervaise movie The Invention of Lying.

I would posit that it is impossible to know. However, the fact that you are still looking communicates to me that somewhere in your heart you want to believe. I obviously do not share your life experience, but based on my own, that's my take.

Agnosticism, as it exists in the current cultural zeitgeist, irritates me. It does so because it fosters a fundamental misunderstanding of what atheism is, and perpetuates misconceptions. People who identify as "agnostic" (here I'm generalizing for the sake of illustrating the source of my irritation) tend to say things like, "we can't know if there is a god or not, so why be an atheist?" Or something. Atheism has nothing to do with knowledge. It's all about belief. I do not believe in the existence of deities; ergo, I am an atheist. Do I know for a fact that they do not exist? No (though I consider it so unlikely as to make little difference), but if proven wrong with convincing empirical evidence, I would accept it. Ergo, I am agnostic, since I do not claim to "know" anything. James Cameron's quote is harsh (calling anyone cowardly is typically uncalled for), and presumptuous (he purports to "know" there is no god.) I would rephrase it to say they cannot admit they don't believe in a god. That's the part that irks me. Plenty of theists are agnostic too. They don't claim to "know" there's a god/gods, they simply have faith. (Of course many do claim to know for certain, which is an entirely separate can of worms.) A self-identified "agnostic" either believes or doesn't believe. Or is in a transitional stage from one to the other. It's a way of hedging one's bets, but the catch is, you can't keep it up forever. You either believe in something or you don't, and if you're having trouble deciding which it is, it might be a good idea to go back and examine what caused you to have a crisis of faith in the first place.

It ironically even affects atheism. Most Western atheists focus their argument specifically against the Judeo-Christian god, as opposed to gods in general, which I've always thought is a little weird. It affects the "default" state of our ideology, even when said ideology is diametrically opposed to it.

To deny that Western culture and Christianity are deeply intertwined is to ignore over 1600 years of European history, to say nothing of the post-Columbian western hemisphere. At the same time, saying Western culture is "largely based" on Christian thought is, in my opinion, an overstatement or an oversimplification. I'm not sure which. The roots of Western culture go back much further than the existence of Christianity. The two have greatly influenced each other, and they grew and changed together for hundreds of years, to the point that for a time they might have been considered one and the same, but to say something is "based on" something it fundamentally predates doesn't really work.

Fair point. What I meant was that he was not considered immoral by the standards of the day, or the people who believed in him. I personally am more inclined to share your assessment.

We sometimes forget what it was like to be a believer, though (those of us who started as one, anyway). As a result it's difficult sometimes not to lose our patience, or be condescending toward people we should be trying to converse with through rational argument. I know I suffer from this, and while not everyone does, I've encountered plenty others who do.

On December 17 in History: 497 BCE - Saturnalia is celebrated for the first time. A massive carnival, huge feast, exchanging of gifts (and gag gifts), and servants and masters switching roles. Anyone else wanna bring back that last one? 546 - Rome is sacked. This is such a frequent occurrence anymore it's barely worth mentioning. This year's model is by the Ostrogoths underTotila. 1538 - Pope Paul III excommunicates Henry VIII of England. Given that he broke with the Catholic Church four years ago, I consider it highly unlikely that he cares. 1777 - France recognizes the independence and sovereignty of the United States. It should be noted that a successful republic would in no way be beneficial to France's interests; they just really love trolling Britain. 1807 - "Okay, new rule: Nobody's allowed to trade with the UK. I'm super serious, you guys." ~Napoleon Bonaparte 1819 - "Gran Colombia is a thing now. Gtfo, Spain." ~ Simón Bolívar 1830 - Death of aforementioned Simón Bolívar. 1862 - General Ulysses S. Grant issues an order to expel Jews from his military district which includes parts of Tennessee, Mississippi, and Kentucky. Oh come on, really? Is there some sort of wartime checklist with "be a dick to Jews for no reason" on it that I'm unaware of? 1903 - The Wright brothers make a heavier than air machine fly through the air. What sorcery is this????? 1907 - In Bhutan, Ugyen Wangchuck is unanimously elected by representatives of the people to be the first king in a new absolute monarchy. Wow, that usually goes the other way around. 1936 - A guy named Jorge Mario Bergoglio is born in Buenos Aires. He'll later change his name to Francis, but you probably haven't heard of him. 1946 - The flag of Kurdistan is raised for the first time in the city of Mahabad. Yessir, won't be long now until they're a country of their own for true, especially with stalwart allies like the U.S. supporting them, who'll never sell them out. 1960 "Nice try." ~Emperor Haile Selassie of Ethiopia, and his loyal troops, regarding the coup attempt from four days ago. 1989 - Fernando Collor de Mello is the first democratically elected president of Brazil in nearly thirty years. If they can make it just as long before their next dictator, I'll be impressed. 1989 again - A new show premiers on Fox, based on shorts from the Tracy Ullman Show, called The Simpsons. The animation and voice acting is pretty hokey; don't expect to see this one back next season. 2005 - Jigme Singye Wangchuck abdicates the throne of Bhutan. Wonder what made him pick today? 2010 - Tunisian street vendor sets himself on fire in protest. A few sparks will have far-reaching consequences across the Arab world next Spring, if you catch my drift. 2011 - Death of Kim Jong-il. Before anyone gets too excited, be aware this is very much a "Meet the new boss, same as the old boss" type of situation.

Zeus was never considered immoral. He was the purveyor of divine justice, and his tendency to "really get around", as it were, was considered a good thing, as it produced so many gods and powerful heroes. His marital spats with Hera (who was after all the goddess of marriage, and therefore pretty much obligated to take umbrage with his infidelity) were mostly played for laughs.

The idea of an omniscient, omnipotent, infallible god is a fairly recent invention. Most gods throughout history - including the "Old Testament" Hebrew god - were not only fallible, but were no different from humans in nearly every respect with regard to emotion, behavior, attitude, and cleverness. The only real differences setting them apart were their immortality and their divine powers.

On December 16 in History: 705 - Death of Wu Zetian, the most powerful woman in Chinese history - due largely to being one of the only women of power in Chinese history. 1431 - Henry VI of England is crowned King of France in Paris. Unless there are any other peasant girls with objections, that ought to end this war once and for all. 1598 - Though it comes at the loss of the great admiral Yi Sun-Sin, combined Ming and Joseon naval forces are able to defeat Japanese invaders for the final time at the Battle of Noryang. May they never darken Korean shores again! 1653 - Oliver Cromwell becomes Lord Protector of England, Scotland, and Ireland. Which is totally not a king. But isn't it a de facto autocracy? Well yeah, but it's different. And isn't he head of both state and government? Look, it's different, okay? And isn't he going to pass the title on to his son when...IT'S DIFFERENT! 1770 - Birth of Ludwig van Beethoven. If you give me three tries, I bet I can guess what tune is now stuck in your head. 1773 - A bunch of Bostonians whose dress sense indicates they need to attend cultural sensitivity training sneak out at night and demonstrate their distaste for British tea. 1775 - Jane Austen is born to a family of relatively modest means, meaning her only hope to make a good life for herself is to marry well. When she gets older, it'll be interesting to hear what she thinks about that. 1880 - The Boer-populated South African Republic and the British Empire go to war. Look, I like a good underdog story as much as the next guy, but there's something to be said for not biting off more than you can chew. 1912 - The Kingdom of Greece is victorious in the largest naval engagement of the First Balkan War, the Battle of the Dardanelles. Their opponent was the Ottoman Empire, whose continued existence is at this point a surprise even to themselves. 1922 - President of Poland, Gabriel Narutowicz, is assassinated. He's been in office for five days. That's got to be some kind of record. 1944 - "Surprise!" ~Three German armies bulging through the Ardennes 1968 - The Alhambra Decree, issued in 1492 to expel all Jews from Spain, is officially revoked. Better late than never? 1980 - Colonel Sanders dies at the ripe old age of 90. His longevity can no doubt be attributed to never overindulging in things like fried food. 1991 - Kazakhstan declares independence from whatever is left of the Soviet Union.

On December 14 in History: 557 - An earthquake severely damages Constantinople. That's all right; we'll rebuild. These walls will never fall again! 835 - Tang emperor Wenzong conspires with his chancellor and a top general to assassinate the eunuchs who had been amassing power in his court. This backfires, with his co-conspirators and their associates ending up dead instead, and the eunuchs seizing even more power than before. Ballsy. 1542 - Mary Stuart changes her letterhead to "Queen of Scots" on the death of her father. She is one week old. I'm sure it'll be fine. 1780 - Alexander Hamilton marries Elizabeth Schuyler, accompanied by a fantastic musical number. 1799 - Death of George Washington. "Whatever you do," he manages to say, "Don't do the thing." (Referring to political parties, a.k.a. "factions"). Narrator: "They'll do the thing." 1812 - What's left of the Grande Armée, now significantly less grande, limps its way out of Russia for good. Never get involved in a land war in Asia. 1911 - Roald Amundsen and his team are the first humans to reach the South Pole. Well done, lads. Now there's nowhere to go but up! 1918 - Prince Friedrich Karl Ludwig Konstantin of Hesse, also briefly known as King Frederik Kaarle of Finland (a role he never took up), renounces his royal throne, and Finland decides to be a republic instead. Having a German prince as a monarch seemed like such a good idea a couple months ago; what changed? 1939 - The League of Nations kicks the Soviet Union out for invading Finland. "Oh no! But we were having so much fun together!" says Stalin. I suspect he may be employing sarcasm. 1941 - Thailand signs an alliance treaty with Japan. They will come to regret this. 1958 - The 3rd Soviet Antarctic Expedition are the first humans to reach the Southern Pole of Inaccessibility, which is literally the most difficult point on the continent to reach. Suck it, Amundsen. 1972 - Eugene Cernan enters the lunar lander, making him the last person to set foot on the Moon. One small step for a man, one step backward for mankind. 1985 - Wilma Mankiller is the first woman to serve as Principal Chief of the Cherokee Nation. Okay, I'm sorry; is nobody going to say anything? Who names their child Wilma these days? 2012 - A bunch of little children are gunned down at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. Surely this will be the last straw that will finally lead an outraged public to break the back of the inexplicably powerful gun lobby in the U.S. so that this nightmare may never happen agai...oh, god dammit.

On December 13 in History: 1294 - Celestine V quits being pope after just five months because he much preferred being a hermit. If only there were some way he could do both. "Hold my sacramental wine." ~Francis 1466 - Death of Donatello, the least known of the ninja turtle namesakes. 1642 - Abel Tasman is the first European to sight a new pair of islands to the east of Australia. Maybe they'll name it after him! 1818 - Cyril VI quits being Ecumenical Patriarch. His attitude on hermithood is unclear, but he'd probably go for it if it would hide him from Ottoman Sultan Mahmud II, if you catch my drift. 1937 - The city of Nanjing falls to the Japanese. I have a baaaad feeling about this. 1960 - Emperor Haile Selassie's imperial bodyguard attempt to seize the capital and install his son Asfaw Wossen as ruler while he's gone visiting Brazil. "What are you doing; why are you bringing me into this?" ~Asfaw Wossen 1989 - Taylor Swift releases an album about being born. Wait, that can't be right... 2003 - Saddam Hussein is captured in a hole near the city of Tikrit. He is under the impression that this is a solid position from which to negotiate.

The forum was down all day yesterday and most of today; I couldn't get this up. On December 9 in History: 536 - Byzantine general Belisarius enters Rome. His reputation precedes him, as rather than fight, the Gothic garrison bravely runs away. 730 - Khazars to the ever-expanding Umayyad caliphate at the Battle of Marj Ardabil: "No." 1594 - Birth of Gustavus Adolphus. For the rest of Europe, this means you're about to take Sweden seriously for the first time since the VIkings found Jesus. 1688 - James II loses the Battle of Reading, the only real battle in the Glorious Revolution. When only the irish want you to be King of England, it's time to go. 1835 - The Texian Revolutionary Army takes San Antonio. Now let's see if they can hold it. There's a mission nearby that should serve as a good place to set up a defense. 1922 - Gabriel Narutowicz is elected the first president of Poland. Believe it! 1935 - The Chinese government disperses student protesters at Tiananmen Square. Lessons are learned and things should never come to an extreme like this again. 1937 - Japanese troops launch an attack on the Chinese capital of Nanjing. As long as everyone keeps their heads, we should be able to keep casualties to a minimum. 1941 - China, The Philippines, Cuba, and Guatemala declare war on Germany and Japan. For the former two, this s a bit like opening your umbrella after walking through a waterfall; for the latter two, they really wanna hang out with the cool kids at lunch. 1961 - Tanganyika gets out of their long-term relationship with the British Empire. They immediately start hitting on Zanzibar. 1965 - Thanks to a new animated Christmas special, the lyrics to "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" are permanently changed to "Loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo" in my household. 1979 - "Suck it, smallpox!" ~Humanity 1995 - Birth of McKayla Maroney, Olympic champion gymnast and grumpy face. 2016 - South Korean president Park Geun-hye is impeached following a major political scandal fraught with corruption allegations, because that's how things work in a civilized society governed by the rule of law. Must be nice. 2017 - Australia legalizes same-sex marriage. Better late than never. That's it. That's all you get for this one. You have no idea how hard it is to think of an Australia-based pun that doesn't sound dirty.

On December 8 in History: 877 - Louis the Stammerer, King of Aquitaine, is crowned King of West Francia. Ah, those simpler times when we just named people after their disabilities. 1432 - The Lithuanian Civil War begins with the Battle of Ashmyany between rival claimants to the Grand Duchy Švitrigaila and Sigismund Kęstutaitis. I'm rooting for the guy whose name is easier to say. I'll let you work out who that is. 1660 - The people of England are scandalized when the role of Desdemona (a woman) in Shakespeare's Othello is played by...a woman. I'm over here clutching my pearls so hard they're leaving indentations on my palms! 1854 - Pope Pius IX proclaims the dogmatic definition of Immaculate Conception: that the Blessed Virgin Mary was conceived free of the taint of Original Sin. Which makes perfect sense when you stop and think about the words' meaning for three seconds, yet will forever be the one thing about Catholicism that almost everyone - including most Catholics - will consistently and unfailingly get wrong. 1974 - The people of Greece vote to abolish the monarchy, which basically amounts to not letting the king come back, since they'vd been until recently ruled for six or seven years by a military junta anyway. 1980 - John Lennon is murdered by a guy who wants to be like Holden Caulfield, a (fictional) whiny, cynical douchenozzle who hates everybody and himself. So...nailed it? 2013 - Metallica holds a concert in Antarctica, making them the first band to perform on all seven continents. I didn't realize there was such a huge penguin metal scene, but it makes sense. They basically survive the winter thanks to one giant mosh pit.

On December 6 in History: 1185 - Death of Afonso I, the first king of Portugal. Can the nation survive without him? Only time will tell. 1240 - Batu Khan's Golden Horde takes Kiev. I tell you, these Mongols are going all the way to the sea. 1421 - Henry V of England's son Henry is born. Enjoy this time while you can; he'll be king himself before you know it! 1534 - The city of Quito is founded in present-day Ecuador. It was actually founded a few months ago several miles away, but they didn't like that spot and moved. This time for real, though. 1884 - A giant monument to George Washington's manhood is completed in the capital. 1889 - Death of Jefferson Davis, first (and only) president of the Confederate States of America. I'm sure he'd be given a state funeral, except the country he led doesn't exist. Womp womp. 1917 - Finland declares independence from Russia, who currently has problems of its own and can't really contest. "We'll discuss this later." 1917 again - Halifax explodes. It is the largest pre-nuclear manmade explosion. All because two ships crashed into each other in a narrow strait. Whoopsie. 1921 - Britain and Ireland sign a treaty that calls for the creation of an Irish Free State within the year. 1922 - The Irish Free State is established. Cutting it a little close, wouldn't you say? 1941 - The U.S. and Canada declare war on Finland in support of the Soviet Union (whom you might recall was in the process of invading Finland). And you thought the Japanese internment camps were the extent of our embarrassing behavior. 1959 - Birth of Iwata Satoru. If you like video games, chances are you owe a lot to this man. 1977 - South Africa recognizes the independence of Bophuthatswana. Literally nobody else cares. 1990 - Death of Tunku Abdul Rahman, first prime minister of Malaysia. Unlike some others on this list, his country still exists, so he gets the whole shebang. 1999 - The RIAA sues Napster. That's a little harsh; all they did was facilitate the distribution of other people's property for free. 2017 - The Trump administration acknowledges Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, a decision which could not possibly have any negative ramifications whatsoever.

True 'nuff.

On December 4 in History: 530 BCE - Death of Cyrus the Great, perhaps the most magnanimous and forward thinking ruler in human history. Fight me. 771 - King Carloman I dies, leaving the entire Frankish kingdom under the control of his brother Charles. Hope he can handle it. 1259 - Henry III of England signs a treaty with Louis IX of France, renouncing his claim to all continental holdings currently under French control. If you think you feel an earthquake, it'll be Henrys I & ii rolling over in their graves. 1676 - 13,000 invading Danish troops get their asses handed to them by 8,000 Swedes at the Battle of Lund. In terms of casualty percentage (roughly 70%), it is the bloodiest day in Scandinavian history prior to the first doorbuster sale at IKEA. 1861 - Jefferson Davis is unanimously (via Electoral College, mind) elected president of the Confederate States of America. An auspicious beginning! 1909 - The Montreal Canadiens ice hockey team is founded. "We'll think of a better name later." 1964 - 800 students are arrested at UC Berkeley for staging a protest of the university governing board's decision to forbid all protests on university property. I feel like everyone involved should have seen all of this coming. 1977 - President Jean-Bédel Bokassa of the Central African Republic crowns himself emperor of the Central African Empire, spending a third of the country's GDP on his coronation alone. Good luck with that. 2005 - Tens of thousands of Hong Kong residents protest for democracy, and universal suffrage. I hope y'all are comfortable.