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    • Robin

      Welcome!   03/05/2016

      Welcome, everyone, to the new 910CMX Community Forums. I'm still working on getting them running, so things may change.  If you're a 910 Comic creator and need your forum recreated, let me know and I'll get on it right away.  I'll do my best to make this new place as fun as the last one!
Red Regent

Corrupt a Wish

134 posts in this topic

Granted. I have the perfect way to give you plenty of extra time.

You're fired.

I wish for better headphones.

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Granted. You now have a pair of brand new headphones with the best sound quality you'll ever hear. They surgically attached, and permanently plugged into a 256mb iPod Shuffle filled with Rick Astley's most famous song.

I wish for determination.

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Granted. You win the Grammy for Least Known Artist, which is immediately revoked.

I wish for the mouse to get the cheese.

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Granted. The cheese is laced with cyanide.

I wish that the Steam Sales wouldn't leave me with an imploded wallet.

Edited by Myranuse
would =/= wouldn't

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Granted. Your wallet implodes before the Steam Sales, leaving  you unable to purchase anything.

I wish for more substantial discounts during said Steam Sales.

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Noooo! Whyyyy! I MUST. HAVE. GAMES!

//One moment of insanity later.

Granted. The games that must not be named now have a 99.9999% discount.

I wish I was a fish.

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Granted. You are now a tuna on your way to the processing plant.

I wish for shapeshifting powers.

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//*Blub*

Granted. You can only shapeshift into a worm—in which the size of your frontal cortex while worm-ified makes it impossible for you to shift back.

I wish to ride an ICBM!

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Granted. It isn't launched, and the military then arrests you for trespassing, among other relevant charges.

I wish for a working pair of headphones.

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Granted. You now have a pair of rotary phones installed on your head. They somehow work no matter where you are wirelessly. One of them seems to be linked to the 411 line.

I wish for infinite wishes.

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Granted:  You can wish for anything you want as long as you are alive.  There is no guarantee of wish fulfilment.

I wish NASA would develop safe, reliable, and cheap transportation that can allow humans and their cargo to travel at one tenth the speed of light in space and reduce the effect of gravity on the vessel within an atmosphere by up to 90%.

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Granted, however it is one-way only and in a random direction, usually directly into a star.

I wish for the ability to understand and be understood whenever I desire to.

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Granted.  You now have absolute, always-on bidirectional telepathy.  You understand others and are understood by them, whether you desire to or not.  You are completely incapable of keeping any secrets, including those of anyone else around you.  Start thinking River Tam and magnify it exponentially.

I wish for a very simple wish which will increase my happiness by a modest amount and is too simple to be corrupted.

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Granted.  You can no longer escape the omnipresent Happy Face.  Have a nice day. ☺

I wish Americans abroad would quit living up to the Ugly American stereotype.

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Granted. America closes it's borders to the rest of the world and becomes an isolationist police state. now there are no Americans abroad to worry about.

I wish all of my debts were paid off.

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Granted, but they're paid in monopoly money and they charge you with felony counterfeiting and fraud.

I wish to be immune to the negative effects of this wish.

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Granted. You are now immune to the effects of caffeine. 

I wish for a good, strong drink.

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Granted; I teleport in through a PlotHole and give you a book about alcohol making and promptly leave. You then spend the next 12 years studying and learning how to make a strong drink; sometimes even going to far flung places in the world to study things like Tuba (Filipino Palm wine) and so on, all to create the most potent drink to man... which you eventually make, but since you've now spent 30 years perfecting the formula, you're immune to alcohol's effects... whoops.

I wish I could find a way to make something fun happen in the Last Post Wins thread. 

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Granted. Try poking the lumps under ProfessorTomoe's lab coat.

I wish I could get my music properly listed on Allmusic.com.

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Granted, but upon completion the site loses its database and is purchased by Google, only to be shelved as unprofitable.

I wish for the lumps to be poke-able.

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Granted, unfortunately the genie involved misheard you slightly, so the end result is being able to "catch" them with pokeballs.

I Wish for more Wishes

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Granted, however the genie is deaf and misinterprets it as more itches. You will be intermittently itchy at irregular periods for as long as five days at a time for the rest of your life.

I wish for a baked potato.

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