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      Welcome!   03/05/2016

      Welcome, everyone, to the new 910CMX Community Forums. I'm still working on getting them running, so things may change.  If you're a 910 Comic creator and need your forum recreated, let me know and I'll get on it right away.  I'll do my best to make this new place as fun as the last one!
Red Regent

Corrupt a Wish

134 posts in this topic

Granted, you are now one of those people that "just tells it like it is".

I wish things were easier.

Edited by Skip
read bottom of page 1 instead of 2.

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Granted. Now things are so easy nobody bothers doing them.

I wish TVTropes wasn't so all-consuming.

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Granted, but this is because you find another website that is even more time consuming.

I wish I Pokemon Go country-exclusives were no longer country-exclusive.

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Granted.  You now have the same access to those features everywhere because you are no longer able to access any Pokémon Go features anywhere.

I wish the members of the US Constitutional Convention (Philadelphia, 1787) could have seen what we wound up doing with their work before ratifying the silly thing.

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Granted. *Hands him a very clean "Vision" action figure*

I wish to know which is the most common PlotHole-generating device in fiction? I'm still trying to work out if the Chekhov's gun or the Red Herring are included in the formula...

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Granted. Knowing the answer generates a PlotHole in reality, however. You spend your remaining days as a TVTropes editor, and found IRLTropes.

I wish for IRLTropes to be a reality.

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Granted. It is reality, for you. more specificaly, it is a schitzphrenic delusion that has replaced your entire perception of reality.

i wish for a back-scratcher

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Granted. Your back is now a scratching post for every cat in a 400 km radius.

I wish "normal" didn't exist.

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Granted, by Professor Elemental.  There's no such thing as "normal," everybody's weird!

I wish for a beautiful Victorian ball gown, custom made to fit me and flatter my figure, along with a guarantee to alter it as needed for the next ten years.  It must be comfortable to wear and machine-washable.

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Granted, however the first time you wear it you will be forced into the life of a Mahou Shoujo, and spend the rest of your days fighting the villain of the week, never gaining the upper hand in the greater battle.

I wish for the abilities of a Contractor from Darker Than Black.

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Granted, you have the ability to see a 5-second window of events that have not yet happened. An event once viewed however, MUST occur exactly as you've seen it, and you will be compelled to ensure it does, the compulsion completely overrides your free will and your self preservation instincts. you gain no other abilities.

I wish to be more resistant to cat claws.

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Granted. You will never grow cat claws during your lifetime.

I wish for an antivirus program that works on people.

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Granted!

This simple, easily-installed program permanently shuts down the telepathic centers of the brain, preventing direct transmission of knowledge or skills. No longer will annoying songs or games spread uncontrollably through the population. Since none of the art of telepathy can be described visually or verbally, the world will almost immediately forget it ever existed, and there will be no one to teach it to future generations.

I wish people who developed busts they had no use for could donate them to people who felt a lack thereof.

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Granted, however the newly formed art-charity soon tanks due to lack of revenue.

I wish for shapeshifting abilities.

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Granted, but you have no control over your powers, you always end up transforming into the most inconvenient form for the given moment.

I wish I could see the future.

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Granted. You see it, but it sees you and gives you an angry look back, threatening to do extremely nasty things to you. You run away, scared out of your skull.

I wish for fortunate fame.

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Granted.  Your fame brings you good fortune, but it doesn't last long and you spend the rest of your life as a miserable has-been.

 

I wish to be fluent in every language.

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Ohh a linguistics one, alright let's play.

Granted, you learn every language ever known to mankind through study and enhanced methodologies using Science! But your complete physiological makeup is age-regressed and permanently locked at 5 years old since these are the ages most conducive to learning language. (It's the so called "Critical Period" of language learning) As a bonus disadvantage, your tongue is kinda short so while theoretically you can speak in every language (and can write in every language though you're a lot slower at learning the letters) you still pronounce your Rs like Ls.

I wish for a Purple Prose Positron Cannon.

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Granted, however you instead receive a Purple Positron Prose Cannon. Unleash literary devastation upon your foes.

I wish for a vastly improved vocabluary for the purpose of artistic alliteration.

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Granted, have a universal thesaurus. No joke, it helps a lot. Though mind the "Dark tongues" section unless you want to suddenly summon some sort of elder god of ether from another dimension.

 

I wish for a copy of the Rosetta Stone.

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Granted.  It lands on your foot and you spend the next three months in a cast.  The stone replica shatters to tiny pieces on impact.

 

I wish for a new happy catchy Cubs song to supplant "Go Cubs Go!"

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Granted, but it's so ridiculously happy and catchy that it gets stuck in your head and never leaves, repeating endlessly until the moment of your death.

 

I wish for a copy of Tedd's transformation gun.

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Granted, have this cosplay prop I found at a convention a few years ago. It's pretty accurate but... don't expect it to work

 

 

I wish to see more people participating in the Last Post Wins thread.

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Granted, but others cannot see these people.  They're just a hallucination you're experiencing.

 

I wish for the power to manipulate reality in any way of my choosing.

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