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Red Regent

Corrupt a Wish

127 posts in this topic

Granted, but you get careless and erase yourself from existence.

I wish I have better time management of my free time.

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Granted. Your free time, and all other time is now managed by Donald Trump. He sends you to a sweatshop in Taiwan.

I wish for more free time.

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Granted; you can increase your metabolism at will to speed up you actions and enter a state where time basically stands still, however the energy demands for this are immense, meaning you need to eat five times the amount of food you would normally consume per meal and go to the bathroom for every 10-25 minutes that you do this action. Also, to activate this power, you need to shout "THE GLOBE!"

I wish to know if anyone watches JoJo's Bizarre Adventure here...

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Granted. I do. Also, WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! (You are crushed by a steamroller)

I want to have an ability to counter ZA WARUDO

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Granted, however all of the simulations are COMPLETELY EVIL and trying to kill you. You also find Evil Lincoln, in every simulation regardless of setting.

I wish for Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra to be a story (or show) of its own.

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Granted, but it's on the Food Network.

I wish for a peaceful and uneventful day tomorrow for everyone.

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Granted.  Absolutely nothing happens tomorrow, nothing at all.

 

I wish magic weren't such a butt face.

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Granted. This is achieved by making everyone an even worse butt face than magic, making it look better by comparison.

I wish for impossible things to now be possible.

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Granted, but as a trade off, the things that were already possible now aren't.  Enjoy non-existence.

 

I wish Abradolf Lincler were president.

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Granted. Abradolf Lincler is now the president of the United States of Germerica. His term is cut short during an unfortunate shaving accident, in which he mistakes a loaded gun for his shaving razor, which is shaped like a loaded gun.

I wish for flawless neural interface technology to be available for purchase inexpensively in the next five years.

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Granted. Unfortunately, it is made and sold only by Microsoft and comes with intrusive features you neither want nor need, but cannot get rid of. Enjoy.

I wish for a dual-zone air conditioning system for my house.

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Granted, unfortunately the controls are permanently stuck on -40*c 0% humidity, and it's a massive power-hog.

I wish to undo my previous wishes.

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Granted - you were never born to make said wishes in the first place, thus undoing them.

I wish for the world to abruptly become a place of superheros and villains and everything (non-society/planet-busting) else one might find in a comic book.

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Granted. You, however, are a civilian. And the local hero uses your car as a thrown object during a fight. Enjoy not being able to get to work. Also, all countries have supers, including Syria and North Korea, so that's a thing to look out for.

I wish I had the power to create forcefields (and remove them) at will.

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Granted.  Turns out you *had* such power, but never figured out how to use it, so it atrophied and won't work any more.

I wish for Donald J. Trump to have a personal revelation and irreversibly become a far-left progressive, before he takes office.

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Granted. Unfortunately, the people he pissed off are still pissed off and one of them puts a rifle round through him before he can reveal his change of heart and new plan of reform to he masses, leaving his running mate who's as bad as he was, if not worse, in charge.

I wish i existed again, oblivion is boring.

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Granted, Celia and I use the energy from two Blood-Irons (magically enchanted iron samples that store magic) to bring life to a synthetically formed homo-sapiens shell (basically a fully grown human body without a consciousness or soul depending on how you wanna view it) that you occupy but of course something goes awry, and you're alive, but I overestimated the number of Blood-Irons to be used and now you're slightly crazy (a few months of therapy should do ya), and you have magic powers (based on my story's magical laws) that you can't 100% control. What's worse is the spell used to bring you back to life kinda sorta displaced you from time. Don't worry, we'll find you, in a few weeks, hopefully.

I wish to find InfiniteRemnant's whereabouts without risking another time distortion or some other form of technobable wrecking time again.

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Granted, however IR is actually a younger version of you. You seem to have forgotten this detail conveniently.

I wish for financial independence.

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Granted. I open a portal and kick you into it, 300 style. You are now in a world where money doesn't exist; I drop a gun and a few bullets next to you and wish you good luck because this planet is what happens when master blaster is let out; sorry can't get beyond Thunderdome. WOOO

I wish to be able to do that.

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Granted, however you lack the strength to move your intended target, and the portal is actually behind you, so you effectively kick yourself into your own portal.

I wish to know what to wish for.

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Granted. You know exactly what to wish for - on your Amazon Christmas wishlist.

I wish that I didn't have so much work to do at home.

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Granted. You have a lot to do outside your home.

I wish for some peppermint candy and some black liquorice/licorice.

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Granted. Here's a bottle of peppermint schnapps, a bottle of triple dark rum, and coffee ice cubes.

I wish for more wishes to ironically grant and/or corrupt.

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Granted, you are now responsible for destroying the hopes and dreams of millions, and they all know it was you.

how fast can you run?

I wish i didn't have to think up a wish.

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