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Red Regent

Corrupt a Wish

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This one was one of the longer-running games of the old times. The basic rule is this: You as the poster read the wish of the person who posted previous to you, and in response, find a way to corrupt it, then it's your turn to make a wish for the next person to corrupt. The more over the top and creative the better!

So let's start us off again:

I wish for a study guide for the basics of Vault-Dwelling.

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Granted, however it is only accessible at exactly 12:13:14PM on the fourth tuesday of the month.

I wish for the next wish made to be incorruptible.

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Granted. The next wish of Leeroy Jenkins is incorruptible.

I wish for UNIMAGINABLE POWER!!! MUAHAHAHAH―*cough cough*

Yeah, power beyond all power would be nice.

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Granted.
You can have all the power you want that you can not imagine.
If you can't imagine it, you can't understand it.  If you can't understand it, you can't use it.

I wish that the edit function on this forum was completely intuitive and user friendly.

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Granted. But everytime we try to use it afterward, all the text we type gets translated to tongue of the old ones, which drives like, 60% of us crazy, and the remaining 40% crazier.

I wish for a hardbound copy of War and Peace, Pop-up edition!

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Granted, but something better comes out rendering it obsolete, and while everyone else upgrades, you are stuck with the obsolete stuff.

I wish for Pokemon Sun and Moon to be good games.

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Granted. They are the best board games ever released.

I wish for a HD remaster of all of my favorite games.

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Granted, but they're only available on platforms you don't have.

 

I wish for the Cubs to miss winning the World Series by one run in the eleventh inning.  (They can't actually *win* the series of they wouldn't really be the Cubs anymore.)

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Granted, but due to a misinterpretation, the Cubs miss losing the World Series by one run in the eleventh inning. They evolve into the Bears, causing mass confusion among sports fans.

I wish for additional pylons. 

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Granted. You now have more than dreams. You have nightmares that terrify and confuse you in new and exciting ways every time.

I wish for everyone to get my obscure references.

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Granted, the common and the obscure trade roles now. This means now everyone's a musical hipster these days.

I wish to find a physical manifestation of a plot device.

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Granted. You have found a box containing Schroedinger's cat. It may or may not be plot relevant.

I wish to lose weight.

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Granted. Your dumbbells vanish.

I wish my pool and all the water in it was completely clean.

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Granted. They are permanently locked in a state of absolute purity, at absolute zero. 

I wish for a paid vacation.

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Granted. After you finish reading this sentence, it's over.

I wish I could go to the moon non-ASDF style.

_

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Granted. He is the posterboy for the next Captain America movie and is killed in the first fifteen minutes of the film.

I wish for immortality.

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Granted. Eternal youth sold separately.

I wish for a bowl of peach cobbler.

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Granted. You now have a bowl of genetic material from a cobbler named Peach.

I wish for more time.

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