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CritterKeeper

(+/-Bad) Jokes Thread

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I pondered for a while where this should go and after due consideration decided to put it here.

At the moment, the Danish extreme right wing is splintering into several small parties. The only thing they hate more than one another is anything that is not Danish.

Someone took all the conditions these people demand be satisfied before you count as Danish. It turns out that when you put them all together, they are impossible to fulfil. Thus, according to them, nobody in Denmark counts as Danish. Sigh.

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My grandmother and I tend to make jokes at each other. Here's our most recent text conversation, minus the emoticons and spelling errors

Quote

Nana: What do you call a pig that knows karate

Me: Pork chop.

Nana: Bleah

Me: At first I didn't know why that baseball looked like it was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Nana: Ate some oatmeal today. Have felt like mush all day

Me: Yeah, I know the feeling. I felt pretty crummy for eating all the cookies.

Nana: OMG

Me: So there was this whole uproar about a lion in a tree...

 

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21 hours ago, Zorua said:

My grandmother and I tend to make jokes at each other. Here's our most recent text conversation, minus the emoticons and spelling errors

 

:d_3:

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Just heard this and figured it was worth resurrecting this thread for, it's certainly /list material.

 

"So someone asked me where I saw myself in three years."

"I told them I don't have 2020 vision."

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8 hours ago, Scotty said:

Just heard this and figured it was worth resurrecting this thread for, it's certainly /list material.

 

"So someone asked me where I saw myself in three years."

"I told them I don't have 2020 vision."

Groan. Yeah, that's awful. *dives for cover before /me shows*

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7 hours ago, The Old Hack said:

Groan. Yeah, that's awful. *dives for cover before /me shows*

/me has decided that if it's in a thread labelled "Bad Jokes", this list isn't really needed.   A simple sweep of names from time to time will be enough.

 

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Just now, mlooney said:

/me has decided that if it's in a thread labelled "Bad Jokes", this list isn't really needed.   A simple sweep of names from time to time will be enough.

 

Speaking of, how is Signor Mlunatico doing?

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Just now, The Old Hack said:

Speaking of, how is Signor Mlunatico doing?

Don't know.  Haven't had any "messages" about him in a while.  If and when they start up I'll post any that seem interesting.

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Whenever my family went for a drive with my Grandfather and we passed a cemetery, he'd ask us, "How many people do you think are dead in that cemetery?"

He always had an answer, too: "All of them!"

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37 minutes ago, ChronosCat said:

Whenever my family went for a drive with my Grandfather and we passed a cemetery, he'd ask us, "How many people do you think are dead in that cemetery?"

He always had an answer, too: "All of them!"

Minus most visitors...

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On 9/30/2016 at 9:34 AM, The Old Hack said:

I was re-reading this thread, and after clicking the above link, I looked in the comments and, sure enough, someone had written out the "German" joke.  Just for laughs, I copied the text and pasted it into Google Translate.

The response?

"[FATAL ERROR]"

Once again, The Dev Team Thinks Of Everything!

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