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[ProfessorTomoe 1,308]

/* The lump on ProfessorTomoe's side springs to life */

/* Twenty massive tentacles shoot forth from the lump, instantly pulling in and engulfing Trix */

/* The main body of the lump devours Trix in a single gulp */

ProfessorTomoe (to his lump): "Now, now, that wasn't right. Remember? You're supposed to be a good boy here."

/* ProfessorTomoe activates his PlotHole Jumper device. Trix tumbles out of a newly-opened PlotHole, fully intact, but with very bad memories of the event */

ProfessorTomoe: "There. Please be a bit less inquisitive next time. I'm afraid my latest body graft hasn't learned its manners yet."

/* ProfessorTomoe leaves through the PlotHole, which instantly closes and disappears behind him */

[Pharaoh RutinTutin 1,586]

On ‎01‎/‎08‎/‎2017 at 0:35 AM, ProfessorTomoe said:

Quick! Someone bring as much salmon sashimi as you can find!

Will $10,000 dollars worth of Salmon P Chase be sufficient?

 

Edited May 21, 2017 by Pharaoh RutinTutin
Removed Old Image

[OzLionHeart 3]

Why would you want to chase a salmon?

[Red Regent 63]

*CM and RR witness The Lump^TM in action*

RR:... 

CM: Well you said you'd give me 30...

RR: Bakit kasi ang daling hulaan? Here. *begrudgingly hands a 60*

CM: Also what is with this odd weather? Rex,perhaps you could assist in figuring this out?

RR: Certainly can; might take a while though... and while depending on who you ask the weather of this planet is on the fritz but not to the point where it starts raining soy sauce; and not even the good ones; try Kikoman you cheap hacks! Must be some form of weather and condiments device at work. You sit tight, I'll be back... *barges off*

CM: I guess it's as good a time as any to ask you Prof, where did you get that Lump? And why is it loyal to you?

[The Old Hack 2,448]

Has anyone seen my polonium? I swear I had it a minute ago.

[Red Regent 63]

CM: What is one to do with such radioactive material good sir?

*meanwhile*

RR: ...OK that energy source should be right around... he-

*Regent rounds a corner and spots a container with the radioactive symbol plastered next to it*

RR: ...Ohkay, what is this?

*points his Geiger counter towards it which goes ballistic*

RR: Too RAD, TOO RAD... not gonna stay here... *calls up Celia* Celia update: haven't found the source of the condiment storm but I have found a containment unit of a huge amount of highly radioactive material, please advise?

CM: Received, where is it?

RR: About 500 meters away from your current location, down a rabbit hole about 2 kilometers deep next to some store of lasweapons from the 41st millenium, to the right of the Red Herring shantytown bar with the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, and about a stone's throw from a sewage treatment plant. Also mind the desert raiders on hoverships when you're down here. Come to think of it something's wrong here...

[ProfessorTomoe 1,308]

9 hours ago, Red Regent said:

CM: I guess it's as good a time as any to ask you Prof, where did you get that Lump? And why is it loyal to you?

/* ProfessorTomoe sticks his head through a newly opened PlotHole */

ProfessorTomoe: "He's still an experiment in progress, yes? Please forgive him, but he's not ready to leave my side. He likes hiding under my labcoat."

/* PlotHole closes as ProfessorTomoe disappears, returning to his pocket universe */

 

OOC NOTE: Do not try to locate and/or enter the pocket universe. Can you say "pink mist?" Many have learned.

[Arcanimus 31]

*presses a button, and a dial remote is delivered to Celia, with a great many options on it, corresponding to different brands of soy sauce, along with a note that says "Pass it around, brand preference is a personal thing, after all"*

[The Old Hack 2,448]

12 hours ago, Red Regent said:

RR: About 500 meters away from your current location, down a rabbit hole about 2 kilometers deep next to some store of lasweapons from the 41st millenium, to the right of the Red Herring shantytown bar with the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, and about a stone's throw from a sewage treatment plant. Also mind the desert raiders on hoverships when you're down here. Come to think of it something's wrong here...

Thanks, it's about time. Let me power up my PANTARDIS and go get it. *checks on the diamond in the central unit, then climbs into modified Panther tank and closes the hatch with a slam, whereupon the whole thing disappears in a flash*

[CritterKeeper 1,102]

*Wanders onto the field with bright yellow raincoat and galloshes, a transparent dome umbrella protecting from raining sauces, sushi, etc.*

Oh, my, what a waste of....well, I was going to say "good food" but it looks like it's just sushi.  Still....

*spins umbrella, and 95% of the sushi disappears, carefully leaving all dirt behind and destroying all germs and parasites, before reappearing in the refrigerators of several area food pantries*

*spins umbrella the other way, and most of the remaining sushi, similarly cleaned off, appears on a gorgeous dim sum bar, floating by the stools in little wooden boats*

And for those of us who don't like raw fish....

*clicks fingers and a mongolian stir-fry station appears, with dozens of optins for ingredients and at least thirty sauces*

There's recipe cards at the end of the vegetable section, for those of you who don't like to improvise!

(Imagine that, not taking advantage of a chance to experiment.  Still, I'm told such people exist.)

There's a patch over there *points with now-closed umbrella* where the sushi rain continues, for those of you who enjoy such things more than a good meal or a good battle.  What?  Oh, yes, about every twentieth dim sum boat has been boarded by pirates, so anyone who wants to shrink down and defend their sushi should feel free.  The mer-folk will rescue anyone thrown overboard.  And a few of the ingredient options for the stir-fry can get a little, ah, feisty.

[Red Regent 63]

CM: Max, be advised, an old person manning a very heavily modified Panther is on his way towards your position.

RR: Good copy, over.

CM: *perplexed* Strange, I don't recall having this device in my hands a moment ago. What does this exactly control?

*Presses a few random buttons, first stopping the soy rain, then summoning a giant ham from the sky that roars overhead and crashes near where Arcanimus's person was*

CM: So that's what it meant by Hamaggedon...

*meanwhile, 500 meters away, 2 kilometers down*

RR: *handily scribbles a sign that says "Pollonium Deposit - Stupidly Radioactive" and places it next to the containers* This should keep anyone without proper equipment from grabbing this...

*really loud, really bad beeping*

RR: Signal spike, due 200 meters...

*walks in the general direction of the signal to find Arcanimus's person struggling to get out from under a large homogeneous piece of ham being carved up by desert raiders on hovercraft, and a Purple Stuffed Worm, sadly not from flap-jawed space, but he does have a tuning fork*

RR: ...you down there, you need some help?

[Arcanimus 31]

I got this.
*Activates the Giga Drill mode on the command station*
*Tunnels out from below the giant ham, taking up residence overlooking the Sushi Fields*
*For good measure, activates the Sushi Shield, ensuring that further attacks are diverted by the nigh-unlimited supply of sushi*
 

[ProfessorTomoe 1,308]

Booming God-Like Voice: "A WILD DRAGON ROLL SUDDENLY APPEARS!"

 

[Pharaoh RutinTutin 1,586]

Hey!  Some trucks have pulled up with a LOT of nori.

It looks like about 50 tons all together.

Can someone sign for this?  Or at least tell me where they should unload?

[Arcanimus 31]

On 1/11/2017 at 2:19 PM, Red Regent said:

Purple Stuffed Worm, sadly not from flap-jawed space, but he does have a tuning fork

I need scissors. 61!

[The Old Hack 2,448]

On 1/12/2017 at 5:27 AM, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

Hey!  Some trucks have pulled up with a LOT of nori.

It looks like about 50 tons all together.

Can someone sign for this?  Or at least tell me where they should unload?

I'll take that. *signs*

I'm taking it some 120 million years back in time and dropping it where it will be compressed by the movement of the Eurasian plate against the Indian plate. With luck this should give me a quite nice new diamond for the central unit of my Chron-O-John.

I won't need all fifty tons for that, though. But no big deal, I am passing the Khufu Pyramid on the way. I'll just dump the dozen tons or so I don't need in one of the chambers in it, I'm sure nobody will mind.

Oh, and while I remember. *grabs polonium*

*activates PANTARDIS, disappears in a blinding flash*

[Red Regent 63]

On 1/13/2017 at 4:37 PM, Arcanimus said:

I need scissors. 61!

RR: I actually just vaguely remember playing a copy of that game. Goes to show you that overly complicated schemes... aren't very good. That and Mr Kojima is kind of a loose cannon of a creative id.

On 1/13/2017 at 5:41 PM, The Old Hack said:

Oh, and while I remember. *grabs polonium*

*activates PANTARDIS, disappears in a blinding flash*

RR: I remember my predecessor handed him that tank, then it got disabled and frozen in place after a battle on some distant planet. Then again that thing is capable of non-linear time-travel so that could have already happened or will happen sometime in the future. Or something other...

*Rex notices something with the flash-wake*

RR: That's... very odd. Dammit and I just ran out of juice for my instruments!

*an air of frost descends from somewhere above, pilling up next to Rex, eventually bursting to reform Celia*

CM: Did you see the Ham-Mass?

RR: *points to the large mass being eaten by raiders and the worm*

CM: They are quite efficient at stripping that thing down... wonder if their beliefs systems restrict their diet or... *sees lingering waveform from where Hack's tank just left*

RR: Good that you've noticed that lingering waveform. Do you have your instruments at the ready?

CM: Sadly not, but I did get this remote. By the looks of things it's a AA battery system and I think these batteries should be compatible with your TDMS.

RR: Well, one way to find out... *switches batteries and takes a reading that goes without a hitch* Well that worked; hope it'll contribute to Time-Sunder research when we get back-

**Rex's TDMS explodes violently in his hands and releases a shockwave of unmitigated energy towards the waveforms which cause a reaction that leads to the creation of a rip in dimensional-hypertime*

RR: GAH PUT TANK IN A MALL THAT HURT. Celia, notify the Lady Miriam, we may have a code Yellow Class 2.

[CritterKeeper 1,102]

*looks up at the dimensional-hypertime rip*

*watches a red fezz drop out*

Huh.  Who didn't see that coming?

[The Old Hack 2,448]

6 hours ago, CritterKeeper said:

*looks up at the dimensional-hypertime rip*

*watches a red fezz drop out*

Huh.  Who didn't see that coming?

That's odd. I was expecting...

*16-ton weight tumbles out of hypertime rip and lands right on top of The Old Hack, squishing him flat*

*from beneath the weight* Oh. Right you are, then. Never mind.

[Red Regent 63]

CM: *notices Sir Hack is kinda smooshed* I got you, good sir.

*Celia turns into a dragon and lifts the weight off of Hack's person then transforming back*

CM: There, that should help-

RR: You're looking kinda... two-dimensional old friend.

CM: *rolls eyes*

*several lights appear almost directly above the party in a typically ominous fashion*

RR: Everyone relax, that's just the BBFP Lady Miriam (CA-42); it's only our support ship.

CM: *mutters* ...though depending on who you are that may still be a bad sign.

RR: Anyway we'll probably have to corner this thing off until we can either seal it or deem it safe. *observes hand, which has aged by 40 years* by the looks of things its one of those "1 Day outside, several years inside" rips.

CM: Does it threaten anything else? Maybe that discharge could have aged everything else as well! Also, is this a Code Yellow Class 2?

RM: Code Violet Class 1; and we'd better get a hold of Kent; I don't time anomalies. *notices Hack's two-dimensional state again* And probably get some medical attention for him as well.

CM: *to Arcanimus's person* Perhaps you've sustained injuries as well? We can provide you with medical care as well, you know.

[OzLionHeart 3]

*walks in carrying a tank of air* I got this.

*sticks a hose from the tank in Hack's mouth, and opens the valve on the tank* This should do it. Just give it a few minutes...

[The Old Hack 2,448]

2 hours ago, OzLionHeart said:

*walks in carrying a tank of air* I got this.

*sticks a hose from the tank in Hack's mouth, and opens the valve on the tank* This should do it. Just give it a few minutes...

*inflates*

*expands to size of the Hindenburg and ascends*

*drifts off on the wind*

[OzLionHeart 3]

Oh, no, don't tell me I used the helium tank instead of the air tank...

[Red Regent 63]

RR: That's what you get for trying the Theme-Hospital method of reconstitution! *turns on coms* Red One to Bridge do you read?

Captain Andy: Officer Rex this is Captain Andy receiving your traffic, we've already sent a TEST Unit down and we've just cleared Sera Two for launch over.

RR: Andy send a recon probe and set to tracking. I need eyes on a large-inflated man floating away as we speak over.

CA: *baffled*

CM: This is Red Two to Bridge just double time that TEST team to the surface and have that emergency medical crew rendezvous with Rex immediately.

CA: Received. Over.

CM: Captain Andy I'm switching on my transponder, keep me on your screens, good read?

CA: Affirmative. Waiting on transponder.

CM: Received. Orders to follow. Over. *to Rex* Rex you stay here; I'll take care of Hackman.

RR: Won't argue with that.

CM: *runs off and turns into frosty mist* Sir Hack! Come back! *turns into a dragon and flies off after Hack*

[Pharaoh RutinTutin 1,586]

31 minutes ago, OzLionHeart said:

Oh, no, don't tell me I used the helium tank instead of the air tank...

If the Hindenburg is the best metaphor, then it was the Hydrogen tank.

It is very important to keep hydrated.