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ProfessorTomoe

My Grandmother's Funeral (Sorry)

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I hate to ask this, but since I can't go to my grandmother's funeral, I need all the help I can get. If anyone would please send a small something—even a $5 potted plant—I, my wife, and my son would be eternally grateful.

Here is the address for the funeral service:

Mildred Jackson
Ben Hur Shrine Temple
7811 Rockwood
Austin, TX 78757

The funeral will be held on September 6th, and the visitation begins at 1:30 p.m. CDT. If you have something sent, please make sure it arrives prior to this time.

I apologize for asking for this, but I am distraught at the moment and don't know what else to do. My mental state is getting worse as the funeral date approaches.

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Up front, let me make it very clear that I was able to send flowers using a different credit card. @The Old Hack, if I misled you, please feel free to cancel the incredibly beautiful arrangement you sent if you wish, since I'm certain it cost a substantial euro—more than I could have ever asked for.

The plea was that I felt like I wasn't able to send enough to her, and I hoped people would send affordable things like potted plants or simple bouquets. Again, @The Old Hack, if you want to send what you sent out of your own volition, with the knowledge given above, I thank you a million times over.

Here is a picture of what I did have sent:

S47-4556_330x370.jpg

(My own religious views are different from hers, but I respect her enough to send what she would have wanted.)

I would still like to see small items from other forum members, if you can afford them and if you have the time. She would have appreciated them, and they would confuse my family (a righteous step of its own).

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Just now, ProfessorTomoe said:


@The Old Hack

Again, @The Old Hack, if you want to send what you sent out of your own volition, with the knowledge given above, I thank you a million times over.

Nonsense. I am sure the arrangements will go well together. Ease up, old friend, and know that I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

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4 minutes ago, The Old Hack said:

Nonsense. I am sure the arrangements will go well together. Ease up, old friend, and know that I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

When the time comes, and I hope it never does, I only hope that I can repay you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

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I might as well post this here, too:

Quote

In lieu of flowers please make a donation to:
Shriners Hospital Houston
Patient Services Fund in her memory.
6977 Main St., Houston TX, 77030

I say either way—if you can send her a little violet plant (she loved them) or any other plant, please send one. It has to be there before 1:30 p.m. CDT on September 6th, 2017. (tomorrow)

If you want to whip out a check, feel free. If you want to do it electronically, send it to me and I will post a copy of the check or envelope or do something to prove that I've forwarded the funds. My PayPal e-mail is ljfnord@yahoo.com. If anyone has a better idea on how to do a memorial fund, let me know and I'll do that.

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Okay, I've got a way you can directly donate in her memory if you want to. Follow these instructions:

  1. Go to https://www.shrinershospitalsforchildren.org/Locations/houston
  2. Click on "Donate→" on the top line.
  3. Under "Gift Information," select or enter an amount. If you use a script blocker, it'll take you to another domain. Don't panic. Just be judicious about what you clear in your script blocker.
  4. Under "*Gift Designation," click on the button next to "Direct my gift to:", pull down the list, and select "SHC — Houston".
  5. Under "Honor/Memorial Gift:", click on the box that says "I would like to make my gift in honor of or in memorial of someone special." That will bring up a "Tribute Information" section. There, select "In Memory of" for "Honor Gift Type", "Mrs." under "Honoree Title," and type "Mildred Jackson" in the box for "Honoree Name".
  6. I would suggest setting the "Tribute Gift Notification Information" section setting to "No acknowledgment necessary." I don't know the addresses of any of my family, so let's just leave it that way.
  7. Fill out the rest as you would any online purchase.

I was able to use PayPal to make my donation, so security is not so much a problem here.

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9 hours ago, The Old Hack said:

Thank you for sharing, old friend. Once again my most heartfelt condolences.

I do appreciate it, very much. Especially today.

I've uploaded a couple of pictures. The first one shows the pink cross I purchased. It's sort of dwarfed by the spray on the casket.

large.PinkCross.jpg

The second photo is more ambiguous. I think it shows @The Old Hack's spray of white flowers at the bottom left of the gravesite. I believe they got confused and thought that the second arrangement was a gravesite arrangement and not a funeral arrangement. That would be just like my family—something always gets messed up somewhere. Regardless of where they put it, I still thank you for sending it. More than you'll ever know.

large.WhiteArrangement.jpg

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I'm glad you were at least able to see pictures of the funeral.  Not as good as being there, but at least you were a part of it as much as you could be.  If you were in the hospital and couldn't make it because of that, it would be sad but no one would think less of you; this is absolutely no different.  Your health has made you less mobile, and you just can't get there, through no fault of your own.

So, what do you think your grandma would think of it all?  Was she the sort to pooh-pooh all the rigamarole and expense, or would she find it heartwarming and comforting?  I've seen everything from someone buried in an Angry Birds T-shirt, to a client buried with the ashes of her beloved miniature schnauzer tucked into the crook of her arm.  Can you think of one thing you think she would have liked to be buried with?   (You don't have to answer any of this, I just find some people like to talk about their loved one at a time like this, but don't know where to start or whether anyone would be interested.  I am, and here's one option.  :-)

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1 hour ago, CritterKeeper said:

So, what do you think your grandma would think of it all?  Was she the sort to pooh-pooh all the rigamarole and expense, or would she find it heartwarming and comforting?  I've seen everything from someone buried in an Angry Birds T-shirt, to a client buried with the ashes of her beloved miniature schnauzer tucked into the crook of her arm.  Can you think of one thing you think she would have liked to be buried with?

She would have found it heartwarming for someone else's funeral, but not her own. Too much fuss over her, she'd think. I think. I think she'd prefer one of the funerals where everyone sent flowers, just like they did for her sister-in-law. I have it on good word that my father spent $15,000.00 on the entire funeral/burial. She wouldn't have liked one person taking over like that. (Of course, that could be me speaking, but I'm going by her reaction at her sister-in-law's funeral, which I did attend.) But, once you put something in the hands of my father, he's going to take it and squeeze it until it fits the shape of his palms. He couldn't do that with his father's funeral, but there was no one to stop him with his mother's funeral.

I'm sure the flowers @The Old Hack and I sent probably irked him a tad bit. Displays of individuality, they were. I don't care. She was my grandmother, and I wasn't going to play by his rules if I couldn't attend. She needed to know I was there in spirit, at least.

I'm sorry, I went on too long with this. Probably too deep, too.

EDIT: If you look at the pink cross, you'll see what a commoner's $171 will buy you. Lord knows how much of that $15,000 my father spent went toward flowers.

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4 hours ago, ProfessorTomoe said:

The second photo is more ambiguous. I think it shows @The Old Hack's spray of white flowers at the bottom left of the gravesite. I believe they got confused and thought that the second arrangement was a gravesite arrangement and not a funeral arrangement. That would be just like my family—something always gets messed up somewhere. Regardless of where they put it, I still thank you for sending it. More than you'll ever know.

It does look like it, yes. I am glad it arrived in time. And you are welcome.

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In a final post, I would like to say that I appreciate everyone's kind words, thoughts, and deeds during this time (tOH, that means you, especially). I've grieved long and hard, thanks to Hurricane Harvey. It's been a very difficult time that not even my psychiatrist has been able to help with. However, with the help of my immediate family (Mrs. Prof and my son plus, believe it or not, our cats) and my internet family, mainly here, I've managed to pull through. I hope I won't ever have to go through an ordeal like this again, but if I do, I know I've got an incredible group of people on which I can rely to help me keep from landing hard.

In one last request: @The Old Hack? Would you please lock this thread?

Thank you all, one final time. Now, it's time to move on.

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