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The Old Hack

Story Friday 22, December 2017

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Just now, Drasvin said:

Jerry passed the knowledge on to Zeus. After being told that most Immortals lie to themselves about elves being able to pass on children, Diane asked him, "Then why do you know this?" His answer is "Jerry wanted [him] to be a responsible successor." Jerry not only didn't pass on the lie that elves can't have children, but made a point to make it clear to Zeus that they can.

But if....wait a moment...Jerry told Susan to look up Adrian if she needed any help. I was only thinking that it was Jerry's vow that put Zeus in the situation to learn all this, but if there was ever a good reason to point Susan toward Adrian beyond "He can help you" it'd be "because it's quite possible he's related to you."

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I just realized something. Against someone that doesn't know what it does and is willing to charge into it, murder shroud is ridiculously lethal. If you're inside the shroud, it can fire exploding crows at you from every possible angle, possibly at the same time.

1 hour ago, Kazzellin said:

And I recall what it was I wanted to speculate about! Rather gory, but how would that centaur thing have eaten anyone? He doesn't have hands, he has spear heads/funky swords. What did he do, spear someone then hold them aloft to let their blood dribble onto him/into his mouth? O_o Not a very efficient design there, dude. :P 

He possibly could use both of his lance arms together, kind of like chopsticks or tongs. Though that's if he feeds on people's energy literal, like Big Mouth did. It's possible that he can drain life energy out of a person with his lance arms or blade tail.

50 minutes ago, The Old Hack said:

He was one of the dreaded Hair Stealers. He sucked the life out of his victims by eating their hair.

Another potential option for a way to drain energy, though one that is rather silly (still could be terrifying to have to deal with), though the vampires shown haven't had a lack of silliness to them.

39 minutes ago, Tom Sewell said:

Plus his barbed tail is on backwards. Scorpions have barbed tails that curl up forward so they can strike in front of them. Dan should have at least looked at a picture of a scorpion before he designed that vampire. And ;the lances on its arms were way too short.

Well his tail appears to be a flexible mammalian one instead of a segmented insect one, so he should have greater striking arcs than your typical scorpion. And his large humanoid torso section would get in the way of a typical scorpion tail anyway. And I'm not sure if his lances are too short. They might be, but I'm not sure. Looking at it, best I can reason lance-tip-to-shoulder length seems to be about to a little more than his height.

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Just now, Drasvin said:

Another potential option for a way to drain energy, though one that is rather silly (still could be terrifying to have to deal with), though the vampires shown haven't had a lack of silliness to them.

I was shamelessly stealing from an issue of What's New with Phil and Dixie in which the Foglios explored precisely what it was that makes vampires so scary. They submitted hair-stealing vampires as a good example of monsters of the night that would carry rather less gravitas and feelings of dread.

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9 minutes ago, The Old Hack said:
12 minutes ago, Drasvin said:

Another potential option for a way to drain energy, though one that is rather silly (still could be terrifying to have to deal with), though the vampires shown haven't had a lack of silliness to them.

I was shamelessly stealing from an issue of What's New with Phil and Dixie in which the Foglios explored precisely what it was that makes vampires so scary. They submitted hair-stealing vampires as a good example of monsters of the night that would carry rather less gravitas and feelings of dread.

Certainly an interesting idea. Though if the vampire consumes life-force in addition to a person's hair, then it only has less gravitas and feelings of dread until one is the vampire's victim. Then I imagine it could be rather frightening and surreal.

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15 minutes ago, Drasvin said:

Certainly an interesting idea. Though if the vampire consumes life-force in addition to a person's hair, then it only has less gravitas and feelings of dread until one is the vampire's victim. Then I imagine it could be rather frightening and surreal.

On a somewhat more serious note, hair and fingernails have been considered potent symbols of life in some mythologies due to the mistaken impression that they continued to grow for a little while after death. (This was actually caused by the skin of the corpse contracting ever so slightly due to the onset of rigor mortis, causing hair still inside follicles to extrude and fingernails to seemingly lengthen.) Thus, hair and nail clippings from a still living person were believed to be connected to their life force, allowing the possessor to use them to magically harm the originator. If we were to stretch this premise a little, this might allow a vampire to steal life energy from a victim at a distance.

I am not sure about the origin of this myth but I believe that Asia had vampires known as breath stealers. They would steal life energy from victims by inhaling their breath, usually while they were sleeping. Given time they would completely drain their prey of life.

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4 hours ago, ChronosCat said:

Also, the children of Tedd and Grace would be second cousins of the children of Ellen and Nanase. Marriage between them may or may not be legal depending on where they live, but in much of the US it would be frowned upon.

Second cousins are still considered too close?

4 hours ago, Tuscahoma said:
4 hours ago, hkmaly said:

I didn't ever considered she might actually end up with him. I still hope for Elliot+Ashley+Susan.

So Elliot+Ashley+Susan will have a kid?  Not impossible in this universe.  And what about Tedd+Grace+Sarah and their kid?  Those two kids could get together with Ellen+Nanase kid.

Is this carrying shipping too far?

Naaaah. :)

(Uryuoms must have some FTL ships, don't they?)

3 hours ago, Kazzellin said:

I think my only complaint about today's installment is the last two panels are small enough to make it difficulat to see what's going on. I actually needed to read the commentary to be sure the centaur abberation was killed. 

It could be clearer, yes ...

2 hours ago, Kazzellin said:

Rather gory, but how would that centaur thing have eaten anyone? He doesn't have hands, he has spear heads/funky swords. What did he do, spear someone then hold them aloft to let their blood dribble onto him/into his mouth? O_o Not a very efficient design there, dude. :P 

Remember that the way aberrations are absorbing live energy doesn't have to make sense physically. He may absorb the blood THROUGH the spears.

... I still think normal hands would be more handy.

1 hour ago, Tom Sewell said:

Plus his barbed tail is on backwards. Scorpions have barbed tails that curl up forward so they can strike in front of them.

I think the tail is flexible enough to curl up forward if needed.

1 hour ago, Scotty said:

But if....wait a moment...Jerry told Susan to look up Adrian if she needed any help. I was only thinking that it was Jerry's vow that put Zeus in the situation to learn all this, but if there was ever a good reason to point Susan toward Adrian beyond "He can help you" it'd be "because it's quite possible he's related to you."

.... hmmmm ... Jerry WAS quite good at omniscience when near death ...

1 hour ago, Drasvin said:

I just realized something. Against someone that doesn't know what it does and is willing to charge into it, murder shroud is ridiculously lethal. If you're inside the shroud, it can fire exploding crows at you from every possible angle, possibly at the same time.

What else would you expect from spell Pandora taught Raven to protect him as best as she can? This probably wasn't only vampire stupid enough to charge inside the shroud ...

39 minutes ago, The Old Hack said:

On a somewhat more serious note, hair and fingernails have been considered potent symbols of life in some mythologies due to the mistaken impression that they continued to grow for a little while after death. (This was actually caused by the skin of the corpse contracting ever so slightly due to the onset of rigor mortis, causing hair still inside follicles to extrude and fingernails to seemingly lengthen.) Thus, hair and nail clippings from a still living person were believed to be connected to their life force, allowing the possessor to use them to magically harm the originator. If we were to stretch this premise a little, this might allow a vampire to steal life energy from a victim at a distance.

I though main reason to use hair and fingernails in spells was that it tends to be easier to obtain without the victim noticing than whole fingers.

 

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1 hour ago, hkmaly said:

Second cousins are still considered too close?

After a few minutes of research consisting of skimming one Wikipedia article, I can't find any evidence that there is currently anywhere where it is illegal for second cousins to marry. However, there are places where first cousins once removed cannot marry, and the Eastern Orthodox Church does not allow second cousin marriages.

As for the idea that such marriages are frowned upon, upon further reflection I don't have any evidence for that, just a general impression. That said, I suspect some people will frown upon any relationship where both parties can trace their linage back to a common ancestor. Heck some fans of the Archie Sonic comic objected to Knuckles and Julie-Su hooking up because Knuckles' 14th great-grandfather and Julie-Su's 2nd great-grandfather were brothers (I think that makes them 4th cousins 12 times removed) (there was an alternate reality where time moved at a different rate involved).

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9 minutes ago, ChronosCat said:

After a few minutes of research consisting of skimming one Wikipedia article, I can't find any evidence that there is currently anywhere where it is illegal for second cousins to marry. However, there are places where first cousins once removed cannot marry, and the Eastern Orthodox Church does not allow second cousin marriages.

I don't think Grace is part of Eastern Orthodox Church :) and generally, she would have more problems with any Church than her child marriage preferences.

11 minutes ago, ChronosCat said:

As for the idea that such marriages are frowned upon, upon further reflection I don't have any evidence for that, just a general impression. That said, I suspect people will frown upon any relationship where both parties can trace their linage back to a common ancestor. Heck some fans of the Archie Sonic comic objected to Knuckles and Julie-Su hooking up because Knuckles' 14th great-grandfather and Julie-Su's 2nd great-grandfather were brothers (I think that makes them 4th cousins 12 times removed) (there was an alternate reality where time moved at a different rate involved).

SOME people would definitely frown at anything.

On the other hand, it's true that main motivation for that shipping is that we don't want to expand list of characters, which is rather bad reason for marriage. No matter how many secrets they have, they don't live on island and may get partners outside the group, just like Elliot found Ashley.

... BTW, does Edward already know?

5 hours ago, Tuscahoma said:

So Elliot+Ashley+Susan will have a kid?  Not impossible in this universe.  And what about Tedd+Grace+Sarah and their kid?  Those two kids could get together with Ellen+Nanase kid.

Note, however, that it likely means Grace will be involved. She would definitely be involved in Tedd+Grace+Sarah obviously and she may help Ellen+Nanase if they fail to resolve who should change to man, but I'm not sure if Elliot and Susan will convince her they need help.

... although it MAY be only way Susan is comfortable having child, so ...

 

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1 hour ago, hkmaly said:

Note, however, that it likely means Grace will be involved. She would definitely be involved in Tedd+Grace+Sarah obviously and she may help Ellen+Nanase if they fail to resolve who should change to man, but I'm not sure if Elliot and Susan will convince her they need help.

Grace can provide the egg, but she doesn't have to provide any DNA so she'd technically not be blood related to Ellen and Nanase's child.

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8 hours ago, ChronosCat said:

Well, at least this Aberration doesn't look silly.

I'm fairly sure it's the latter. As for Zeus resenting Jerry, it's a lot like children and teenagers resenting the rules their parents set for them. Hopefully, when he's a bit older he'll realize those rules helped prevent him from doing something he would have regretted, and he'll be thankful for them. (At least, I've heard such things can happen; personally I didn't have a problem with most of my parents' rules a young child, then as a teen I just ignored the rules I didn't agree with.)

But that line turned out to not be entirely true. Tedd may have male parts between his legs in his default form, but mentally she's gender fluid.

About Tedd, are we talking Sex or Gender? Because despite common conception the two ARE different things.

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42 minutes ago, animalia said:

About Tedd, are we talking Sex or Gender? Because despite common conception the two ARE different things.

I'm talking about both. Tedd's sex at birth was male, but his gender has always been fluid (and now thanks to the TFG and Pandora's mark, her sex can change too).

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1 hour ago, Scotty said:
2 hours ago, hkmaly said:

Note, however, that it likely means Grace will be involved. She would definitely be involved in Tedd+Grace+Sarah obviously and she may help Ellen+Nanase if they fail to resolve who should change to man, but I'm not sure if Elliot and Susan will convince her they need help.

Grace can provide the egg, but she doesn't have to provide any DNA so she'd technically not be blood related to Ellen and Nanase's child.

Yes, of course.

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6 hours ago, hkmaly said:

Note, however, that it likely means Grace will be involved. She would definitely be involved in Tedd+Grace+Sarah obviously and she may help Ellen+Nanase if they fail to resolve who should change to man, but I'm not sure if Elliot and Susan will convince her they need help.

We are getting closer and closer to being able to merge two eggs instead of an egg and a sperm, so they might not need Grace after all.  If nothing else,  that becoming an option would solve the problem of what to put on the birth certificate as birth parents....

6 hours ago, hkmaly said:

... although it MAY be only way Susan is comfortable having child, so ...

Yeah, pregnancy is pretty icky-ly fluidy and biological.  ;-P

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5 hours ago, Scotty said:

Grace can provide the egg, but she doesn't have to provide any DNA so she'd technically not be blood related to Ellen and Nanase's child

I don't think Grace can make a meteor egg, or at least make one by herself like Mr. Guyer.

32 minutes ago, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

It makes me wonder why humans even bother to make more humans in the first place.

Because roughly half of us don't have to be pregnant.

1 hour ago, CritterKeeper said:

We are getting closer and closer to being able to merge two eggs instead of an egg and a sperm, so they might not need Grace after all.

Have you read the latest Vorkosigan Saga book by Lois McMaster Bujold, Gentleman Jole and the Red Queen?

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6 hours ago, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

It makes me wonder why humans even bother to make more humans in the first place.

Probably the need to makes sure the species doesn't die out. Though if you ask me we have been doing a bit TOO well at it. Even when you consider that the birth rate is slowing at that the population growth is expected to plateau at 10 billion I think we could afford to let it fall a bit more before we stabilize it again. Altough I expect this isn't the place to have this discussion

 

@The Old HackIhave update my middle east thread if you want to take a look

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6 hours ago, Tom Sewell said:

I don't think Grace can make a meteor egg, or at least make one by herself like Mr. Guyer.

Damien believed she inherited the ability from Mr Guyur though, and there hasn't been anything to suggest that it isn't true, Dan would have addressed it if it wasn't true, right?

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9 hours ago, CritterKeeper said:
15 hours ago, hkmaly said:

Note, however, that it likely means Grace will be involved. She would definitely be involved in Tedd+Grace+Sarah obviously and she may help Ellen+Nanase if they fail to resolve who should change to man, but I'm not sure if Elliot and Susan will convince her they need help.

We are getting closer and closer to being able to merge two eggs instead of an egg and a sperm, so they might not need Grace after all.  If nothing else,  that becoming an option would solve the problem of what to put on the birth certificate as birth parents....

Considering their success ratio, I totally think they should use Grace's egg and just claim unspecified experimental method on birth certificate.

8 hours ago, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:
9 hours ago, CritterKeeper said:

Yeah, pregnancy is pretty icky-ly fluidy and biological.  ;-P

It makes me wonder why humans even bother to make more humans in the first place.

You should try it. To most people it's pleasant. Susan might be an exception.

2 hours ago, animalia said:

Probably the need to makes sure the species doesn't die out. Though if you ask me we have been doing a bit TOO well at it. Even when you consider that the birth rate is slowing at that the population growth is expected to plateau at 10 billion I think we could afford to let it fall a bit more before we stabilize it again.

The rate we are making new humans is ok. What's unnatural is how many of those survive until adulthood. Naturally, the least capable ones should die long before that.

8 hours ago, Tom Sewell said:
13 hours ago, Scotty said:

Grace can provide the egg, but she doesn't have to provide any DNA so she'd technically not be blood related to Ellen and Nanase's child

I don't think Grace can make a meteor egg, or at least make one by herself like Mr. Guyer.

She certainly can, as noone ever was doubting that in EGS. Regarding producing one just by herself, it is possibility as she might inherit the gene from him.

Of course, if she fails, there is still option Tedd will be able to obtain help with TF gun. Maybe he can transform both Ellen and Nanase to chimeras and allow them to create the egg themselves.

1 hour ago, Scotty said:
8 hours ago, Tom Sewell said:

I don't think Grace can make a meteor egg, or at least make one by herself like Mr. Guyer.

Damien believed she inherited the ability from Mr Guyur though, and there hasn't been anything to suggest that it isn't true, Dan would have addressed it if it wasn't true, right?

Presumably, Grace is still young enough to plausibly claim she didn't tried.

 

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1 hour ago, Scotty said:

Damien believed she inherited the ability from Mr Guyur though, and there hasn't been anything to suggest that it isn't true, Dan would have addressed it if it wasn't true, right?

Damien also believed he was basically a god, not a mere mortal. And even if he knew how, I don't think Grace's "grandfather" would have made Grace that way. Our Grace is more than anything else the daughter of his daughter.

Of course, Dan hasn't said that Grace can't make a meteor egg as far as I know.

Speaking of meteor eggs, shouldn't William's and Gillian's egg have hatched by now?

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46 minutes ago, Tom Sewell said:

Damien also believed he was basically a god, not a mere mortal.

That doesn't mean he was wrong in everything.

47 minutes ago, Tom Sewell said:

And even if he knew how, I don't think Grace's "grandfather" would have made Grace that way.

He likely didn't know how to PREVENT it either, and likely wouldn't try out of fear it will have some other negative sideefect. Remember that creating meteor eggs is natural for uryuom - and half-uryuom.

48 minutes ago, Tom Sewell said:

Speaking of meteor eggs, shouldn't William's and Gillian's egg have hatched by now?

What makes you think it didn't? The kid is just still too young to need human form.

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