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The Old Hack

Story Friday 9, March 2018

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8 hours ago, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

*I won't be too upset if Sirleck happens to die AFTER leaving Ellen but before it can latch on to anyone else.

But... but then he won't ever meet his Madamleck so they can have their happily ever after :(

5 hours ago, Tom Sewell said:

Maybe Sirleck is looking at the label on one of the boxes.

I wonder what they might read.

"Battlefront 2 Loot Box."

"Stored by request of Pandora*, please return unopened."

*The actual one, not one of the 243243243423423 Immortals calling themselves that.

A sign reading "This side up", right at the bottom.

"Do Not Open On Any Account. No Really Don't. We Mean It. We Are Serious. Don't Come Afterwards And Tell Us We Didn't Warn You."

"Odd tape containing 18½ minutes of some guy named Richard rambling about how much he hates stuff."

And so forth.

 

 

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32 minutes ago, The Old Hack said:

But... but then he won't ever meet his Madamleck so they can have their happily ever after :(

I wonder what they might read.

"Battlefront 2 Loot Box."

"Stored by request of Pandora*, please return unopened."

*The actual one, not one of the 243243243423423 Immortals calling themselves that.

A sign reading "This side up", right at the bottom.

"Do Not Open On Any Account. No Really Don't. We Mean It. We Are Serious. Don't Come Afterwards And Tell Us We Didn't Warn You."

"Odd tape containing 18½ minutes of some guy named Richard rambling about how much he hates stuff."

And so forth.

 

 

Don't forget the most important one: Swampy's Old Socks.

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1 hour ago, Tom Sewell said:

Actually, since Sirleck is planning to abandon Ellen as soon as Magus gets his own body, Sirleck thinks he  doesn't have much more time to look down at his own boobs. You may owe Circe a cookie.

Sirleck seems pretty impatient to get this over with, which is why I figured he would be too focused on the mission for (intentionally) ogling Ellen. Also, that's not a particularly lecherous look on their face. It could be one of mild surprise, though, which fits Circe's idea that Sirleck was not thinking about Ellen's breasts until he folded her arms and found them in the way.

(Just to be clear, I've agreed with Circe's idea since she made her post. My mentioning a similar idea I had rejected was not meant as an argument against her idea, but merely as a long-winded way of saying "Oh, I was so close, but I missed it!")

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2 hours ago, Tom Sewell said:

No, it's a reference to Doom. Also a naughty anagram, like MILF before it became milf, SNAFU before it became snafu, FUBAR... I think all of you can guess what the friggin Fs stand for if you don't already know.

"Fouled", of course.  :)

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Another box label:

1492 burned into the wood. There is a red plastic button next to the label set into rusting steel housing. There is enough clearance between the button and the housing to suggest the button is some kind of catch; there are hinges on the opposite side of that face that indicate the box should open outward. Pressing the button will not open the box unless no one is else is watching; then the person pressing the button will vanish and the label will change to 1493. 

4 minutes ago, Vorlonagent said:

"Fouled", of course.  :)

I'm afraid you've been fooled by a homonym. A BFG is a Big Fowling Gun.

 

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3 minutes ago, Tom Sewell said:

Another box label:

1492 burned into the wood. There is a red plastic button next to the label set into rusting steel housing. There is enough clearance between the button and the housing to suggest the button is some kind of catch; there are hinges on the opposite side of that face that indicate the box should open outward. Pressing the button will not open the box unless no one is else is watching; then the person pressing the button will vanish and the label will change to 1493.

Over 1492 served

3 minutes ago, Tom Sewell said:

I'm afraid you've been fooled by a homonym. A BFG is a Big Fowling Gun.

It's one of those chicken guns used to test airplane cockpit glass for bird impacts.  Remember to defrost your bird before firing...

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12 hours ago, Stature said:

Calm blue ocean should be nice, if standing on a coastline. On a ship, eh.

On a ship you appreciate the lack of waves even more.

I'm very interested in those ocean puppies.

12 hours ago, The Old Hack said:

I increasingly suspect Sirleck of planning to hijack Magus as soon as he is actually split off from Elliot.

I'm already on 100%, my suspicion can't increase more.

11 hours ago, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:
11 hours ago, partner555 said:

The anticipation, it's killing me!

Let's hope that almost* no one in the were house actually dies.

*I won't be too upset if Sirleck happens to die AFTER leaving Ellen but before it can latch on to anyone else.

He can die even before leaving Ellen if it doesn't hurt her.

10 hours ago, showler said:

What's Sirleck looking at in panel four?

Watches?

4 hours ago, ChronosCat said:
6 hours ago, Circe said:

I think he's looking at Ellen's breasts, which he didn't expect to encounter when he folded her arms....

The thought that he was admiring her breasts occurred to me, but I figured if he wanted to do that he had plenty of opportunity earlier, and now wasn't really the best time. However him being surprised by them after crossing her arms does make sense, and fits well with the timing and their expression.

... right. Agree, this makes sense. Also, he stopped crossing afterwards. Did he not liked it?

... is Sirleck first EGS character having serious dysphoria?

10 hours ago, partner555 said:
10 hours ago, Tom Sewell said:

I wonder if one of those artifacts can mark or awaken sleepers and dreamers, like, for instance, Ashley.

If they can grant marks, then I'd be very worried about the spell she gets since it uses one of the old systems and Magic said transformation spells from those systems are not safe.

Not ALL of them, just some.

Also note that just being around magic push Ashley closer to awakening a bit.

10 hours ago, Scotty said:

Well, Magus suspects that the useless artifacts may not be so useless after all, Sirleck doesn't believe any of it though.

Seems Sirleck isn't really trying to study magic. He probably needed to to make himself aberration but apparently he stopped after that.

9 hours ago, Tom Sewell said:

Speaking of opening random boxes...

Opened two and still alive :)

9 hours ago, Tuscahoma said:

Three incidents just tonight or before DGB can realize what they have on their hands?  I suppose it's a foregone conclusion that at least one artifact will come into play, Chekhov's Warehouse and all, but perhaps we can speculate who might be the one to activate one, and yes, how many get used.  I think anything more than one artifact used tonight means major fireworks (Hand of Vecna, hah, I have the Wand of Orcus!).

Actually, I wonder if Arthur will realize upon returning from speaking with WoM that his warehouse of mostly useless items is a treasure trove of active ancient arcane artifacts.  We might see some MiBs show up very soon.

I'm pretty sure Arthur will realize the problem quite soon, so "just tonight" and "before DGB can realize" will be roughly same estimates.

However, I would expect more than three even before ANYONE of this group will leave ... if not, then Dan is just simplifying his work by not being realistic.

3 hours ago, The Old Hack said:

"Stored by request of Pandora*, please return unopened."

*The actual one, not one of the 243243243423423 Immortals calling themselves that.

I don't think there are THAT many immortals on Earth in EGS universe. On the other hand, more than one Pandora makes sense.

3 hours ago, The Old Hack said:

A sign reading "This side up", right at the bottom.

Most likely.

And one of those boxes with "This side up" not up could become angry soon ...

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5 hours ago, The Old Hack said:

"Battlefront 2 Loot Box."

"Stored by request of Pandora*, please return unopened."

*The actual one, not one of the 243243243423423 Immortals calling themselves that.

A sign reading "This side up", right at the bottom.

"Do Not Open On Any Account. No Really Don't. We Mean It. We Are Serious. Don't Come Afterwards And Tell Us We Didn't Warn You."

"Odd tape containing 18½ minutes of some guy named Richard rambling about how much he hates stuff."

"CAN OPENER NOT INCLUDED" which contains a suit of armor, in excellent condition aside from a couple of dents on the chest and a highly suspicious welded-on patch holding the helm in place.

"Dragon eggs" which appear to be fossilized in several different shades of stone.

A blue Police Box, a bit bigger than the real ones were.  Anyone who enters will find a woman in vaguely Victorian garb, complete with parasol, who looks up from the console she's working on and mutters, "Oh, bugger, it's another one," before flipping a couple of switches that lock the door and trap the intruder(s) in a force field.  "Well," she mutters, looking up at them again, "I do need raw materials....then again, getting a bit peckish, too...."

4 hours ago, Scotty said:

Don't forget the most important one: Swampy's Old Socks.

Knowing what's actually in that box, I might go for that one first!

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5 hours ago, The Old Hack said:

But... but then he won't ever meet his Madamleck so they can have their happily ever after :(

I wonder what they might read.

"Battlefront 2 Loot Box."

"Stored by request of Pandora*, please return unopened."

*The actual one, not one of the 243243243423423 Immortals calling themselves that.

A sign reading "This side up", right at the bottom.

"Do Not Open On Any Account. No Really Don't. We Mean It. We Are Serious. Don't Come Afterwards And Tell Us We Didn't Warn You."

"Odd tape containing 18½ minutes of some guy named Richard rambling about how much he hates stuff."

And so forth.

A lantern carved out of a strange green meteoric material and matching ring...

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3 hours ago, hkmaly said:

... right. Agree, this makes sense. Also, he stopped crossing afterwards. Did he not liked it?

... is Sirleck first EGS character having serious dysphoria?

1

I think Sirleck prefer to use male hosts if he can, so he is not accustomed to being in female ones for long.

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5 hours ago, Tom Sewell said:

Another box label:

1492 burned into the wood. There is a red plastic button next to the label set into rusting steel housing. There is enough clearance between the button and the housing to suggest the button is some kind of catch; there are hinges on the opposite side of that face that indicate the box should open outward. Pressing the button will not open the box unless no one is else is watching; then the person pressing the button will vanish and the label will change to 1493. 

Okay, thanks to the posted link I just have to share this one:

Warehouse 23 Manifest

You open one of the 1001 boxes on this floor and find...

A series of memos from NASA to Richard Nixon, charting the progress of the Mars settlement from 1972 to present, through the establishment of temporary and semi-permanent bases, including the current "permanent, independent, self-sustaining" base. Arrangements are made to take him there, and a memo is dispatched to him, dated two days after his death, about initiating "...stage two of the project."

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Whelp....

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...

An old, battered Victorian sleigh, with bullet holes on one side. Large red sacks hold a variety of hand-made toys, each with a tag on it, bearing a name and an address. If investigators poke into the bags, they may find toys with their names on them... Disturbingly, one bag of toys contain some obviously high-tech gear (antigrav boots, working toy flying saucers, alien dollies, and so forth.) Each name is written in unknown symbols, but the addresses are readable.

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11 hours ago, ChronosCat said:

Sirleck seems pretty impatient to get this over with, which is why I figured he would be too focused on the mission for (intentionally) ogling Ellen. Also, that's not a particularly lecherous look on their face. It could be one of mild surprise, though, which fits Circe's idea that Sirleck was not thinking about Ellen's breasts until he folded her arms and found them in the way.

(Just to be clear, I've agreed with Circe's idea since she made her post. My mentioning a similar idea I had rejected was not meant as an argument against her idea, but merely as a long-winded way of saying "Oh, I was so close, but I missed it!")

Does this mean no cookie?!?  ;)

 

 

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4 hours ago, Circe said:

Does this mean no cookie?!?  ;)

These cookies are all mine! Mine! No one else can have any!

*Sees The Old Hack giving Circe a cookie. *

Well, I suppose that's all right. Just so long as I don't have to share.

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15 hours ago, hkmaly said:

I'm very interested in those ocean puppies.

The run-on almost got me. Although, those puppies would be forever and always be the "wet dogs". And who knows does not like wet dogs.

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10 hours ago, Stature said:
On 3/10/2018 at 0:58 AM, hkmaly said:

I'm very interested in those ocean puppies.

The run-on almost got me. Although, those puppies would be forever and always be the "wet dogs". And who knows does not like wet dogs.

Who are you calling wet dog?

harp-seal-clipart-9.jpg

10 hours ago, Scotty said:
14 hours ago, The Old Hack said:

Not at all! Here, Circe, have a cookie! ^_^

You know that saying "Give a bunny a cookie...:D

I've baked more that thousand cookies (well, with Grandma's help) and still no bunny ...

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7 hours ago, hkmaly said:

Who are you calling wet dog?

harp-seal-clipart-9.jpg

fellow pup not wet dog. fellow pup is snow dog. i want water dog. (Still a cute doggo. Snowball with a face)

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That first panel is a callback to the current NP storyline, isn't it?

On 3/9/2018 at 7:46 AM, Tuscahoma said:

Yeah, I did not suspect that everything in the easily entered warehouse would be an active artifact.  Wow.

Three incidents just tonight or before DGB can realize what they have on their hands?  I suppose it's a foregone conclusion that at least one artifact will come into play, Chekhov's Warehouse and all, but perhaps we can speculate who might be the one to activate one, and yes, how many get used.  I think anything more than one artifact used tonight means major fireworks (Hand of Vecna, hah, I have the Wand of Orcus!).

Actually, I wonder if Arthur will realize upon returning from speaking with WoM that his warehouse of mostly useless items is a treasure trove of active ancient arcane artifacts.  We might see some MiBs show up very soon.

Prediction: this scene will end with Ashley grabbing and attempting to use at least two, but not more than four, of these artifacts, most likely one after another, in an attempt to stop Sirleck from possessing someone - most likely Ashley herself after Magus repels the hijacking attempt. Ashley's efforts will be successful and Sirleck will be imprisoned (trapped in an inanimate object or magical cage) or destroyed, although it's possible that initially nobody will be certain which of the artifacts used (or which combination of them) had that effect.

If the above prediction turns out to be correct, it will be my SECOND non-trivial webcomic prediction to be correct. I've only been reading webcomics for about 15 years...

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