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Illjwamh

This Day In History

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30 minutes ago, Illjwamh said:

You're absolutely right; that's something of a glaring mistake. I'll just go back and fix it and no one ever need know.

::taps on the quote he made earlier:: Are you sure about that? ;)

 

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On March 24 in History:
 
809 - Harun al-Rashid dies, and with him, the Islamic Golden Age. The beginning of the end, anyway. By trying to split the empire between his two sons, he set the stage for nearly two decades of civil war. Whoopsie.
 
1603 - After centuries of fighting to keep themselves free and separate from England, the Scottish are bound forever to them when their king, James VI, takes the English crown. Dude, you had one job!
 
1603 again - Tokugawa Ieyasu is granted the title of Shogun, and begins a dynasty that will rule over a unified Japan for over two and a half centuries. Not a bad gig if you can get it.
 
1720 - Barely a year after fighting for the right to inherit the Swedish throne over her male cousin, Queen Ulrika Eleonora abdicates in favor of her husband. Yay, feminism?
 
1765 - Great Britain passes a law that requires American colonists to house British soldiers. It does not go over well, to say the least.
 
1837 - Canada allows all black (men) to vote. This is something America will also do, in - let me see, here...31 years??? *Tsk* Always stealing their best ideas from someone else.
 
1854 - Venezuela bans slavery. This is something America will also do, in 11 years. And as Fox News will tell you, they just don't get enough credit for it.
 
1905 - Jules Verne dies, one can only assume via some shenanigans involving trying to re-enact one of his novels. No, actually, it was complications from diabetes, very sad.
 
1944 - 76 allied POWs make their escape from German camp Stalag Luft III. No motorcycle chases are involved.
 
1944 again - Baby R. Lee Ermey yells such a vile diatribe at the doctor who tries to spank him, he makes the doctor cry.
 
1976 - The military in Argentina overthrows the government again. Shots!
 
1989 - The Exxon Valdez runs aground and spills oil all over Alaska. Governments and petroleum companies around the world take the opportunity to learn absolutely nothing.
 
2008 - Bhutan is a democracy now! Just as it seems to be going out of style.
 
2015 - Germanwings Flight 9525 is deliberately crashed into a mountain by the co-pilot who had been diagnosed with suicidal tendencies and been deemed unfit for work. If only there had been some kind of warning sign!

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10 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

1603 - After centuries of fighting to keep themselves free and separate from England, the Scottish are bound forever to them when their king, James VI, takes the English crown. Dude, you had one job!

One would think that the King of Scotland taking the English crown would mean Scotland conquered England.....not the other way around?  Politics can be so confusing sometimes.

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57 minutes ago, Scotty said:

One would think that the King of Scotland taking the English crown would mean Scotland conquered England.....not the other way around?  Politics can be so confusing sometimes.

Even more so when you consider that the previous royal house, the Tudors, were Welsh.

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Lol. Interestingly, English monarchs continued to claim the French throne all the way up until 1803. Presumably at that point, they figured there was nothing left to claim.

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On March 25 in History:

717 - Theodosius III "decides" he doesn't want to be Emperor of the Byzantines anymore, and runs off to join the church.

1000 - Fatimid Caliph Al-Hakim has his prime minister murdered in order to take over his own government. I swear this makes sense.

1199 - Richard I of England (you know, from the Robin Hood stories) is shot with a crossbow by some random French mook in the luckiest of all lucky shots ever.

1306 - Robert the Bruce becomes King of Scotland. He is not to be confused with Bruce the Robert, an Australian burglar who can't spell.

1774 - The British government closes the port of Boston and demands that they pay for all the tea they threw in the harbor last year. It is a very effective punitive measure and everything calms down.

1802 - The Treaty of Amiens, known as a "Definitive Treaty of Peace", is signed between Britain and France. In this context, "definitive" means "about a year or so, yeah?"

2001 - Bjork kills and guts a swan, then wears its carcass to the Oscars.

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On March 26 in History:
 
752 - Mere days after being elected Pope, a fellow named Stephen dies of a stroke before he can actually become the Pope. How embarrassing to be offered a job only for the boss to nix it before you even start.
 
1027 - Conrad II is crowned Holy Roman Emperor. I don't know what's weirder: that there was actually an emperor named Conrad, or that there was more than one of them.
 
1130 - King of Norway, Sigurd the Crusader, dies. He got his nickname by leading a crusade while king way before the likes of Ricky Lionheart and Freddie Redbeard made it cool.
 
1830 - The Book of Mormon is published. Everyone who said it was too late in history to start a new religion owes Joseph Smith $20. Also, several Tony Award statuettes are prepared in advance.
 
1874 - Robert Frost is born. Strap in, little one. You've miles to go before you sleep.
 
1892 - Walt Whitman dies. If you've been putting off getting a copy of Leaves of Grass, now's the time. There won't be any more updates.
 
1931 - Leonard Nimoy is born. May he survive to a ripe old age and find great success in life.
 
1941 - Richard Dawkins claims this is the date his was born, but I've never seen him produce evidence he didn't spring fully formed from a heliotropic seashell, have you?
 
1948 - Musicians Steven Tyler and Richard Tandy are born. Both have big dreams. Dream On, and Hold On Tight to them, lads.
 
1971 - East Pakistan declares that they are Bangladesh now. West Pakistan disagrees.
 
1985 - Keira Knightley is born, and people's first reaction is to wonder how Natalie Portman was turned into a baby.
 
2015 - Saudi Arabia begins what it calls its "military intervention" in Yemen. This should be over quickly.

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On March 27 in History:

1309 - Pope Clement V excommunicates and imposes an interdiction on the entire city of Venice because they took some of his stuff.

1625 - Just a few days after celebrating 22 years on the throne, James VI and I dies, and Charles I becomes king of England, Scotland, and Ireland. He would also like everyone to know that he should be the king of France, too.

1785 - Louis XVII of France is born. Don't get comfortable, kid.

1866 - U.S. President Andrew Johnson vetoes the Civil Rights Act which, I will remind you, was a direct result of the Civil War. And people wonder why he's unpopular.

1884 - In Cincinnati, after a jury returns a verdict for manslaughter instead of murder, everyone flips the hell out and starts a riot that will eventually destroy the courthouse and see over 50 people dead. The irony runs a bit thick on this one, though on the bright side it did sort of cripple the local corrupt political machine.

1900 - Death of Joseph A. Campbell. You know, the soup guy. Look, it's not easy to pad these out, all right?

1915 - Mary Mallon, a.k.a. "Typhoid Mary", is put in quarantine for the second time. There will not be a third if you catch my drift.

1945 - Argentina sees which way the wind is blowing, by which I mean they declare war on the Axis Powers.

1968 - Death of Yuri Gagarin, the first person in space. This means he never lived to see himself one-upped.

1971 - Nathan Fillion is born. He aims to misbehave.

1977 - On Tenerife in the Canary Islands, a KLM flight preparing to take off crashes into a Pan Am flight still turning onto the taxiway, resulting in the deaths of 583 people. This means the deadliest accident in aviation history happened on the ground.

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35 minutes ago, Illjwamh said:
1866 - U.S. President Andrew Johnson vetoes the Civil Rights Act which, I will remind you, was a direct result of the Civil War. And people wonder why he's unpopular.

And it would take another President Johnson, and another 100 years, until a Civil Rights Act got passed.

35 minutes ago, Illjwamh said:
1900 - Death of Joseph A. Campbell. You know, the soup guy. Look, it's not easy to pad these out, all right?

As opposed to Joseph J. Campbell, the author.

 

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11 hours ago, ijuin said:

And it would take another President Johnson, and another 100 years, until a Civil Rights Act got passed.

The 1866 one did get passed, actually. They just overrode the veto.

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On March 28 in History:
 
193 - Roman Emperor Pertinax is assassinated by his own Praetorian Guard, who then auction off the empire to the highest bidder. Said bidder is Didius Julianus, who probably would have just kept his money had he known this would eventually be called the Year of the Five Emperors.
 
1483 - Celebrated painter and architect Raffaello Sanzio da Urbino is born. He's cool, but rude.
 
1584 - Ivan IV of Moscow, more commonly known as Ivan the Terrible, dies. There is much rejoicing. For even though the "terrible" in his epithet actually means "formidable" or "fearsome", he did massacre tens of thousands of people in Novgorod and murder his firstborn son, leaving his newly established Tsardom with an ineffectual successor, so the common mistranslation is pretty apropos after all.
 
1854 - France and Britain declare war on Russia for reasons.
 
1944 - Stephen Leacock dies. As with his birth, I would not be a responsible descendant of Orillia if I did not mention this.
 
1969 - Death of Dwight D. Eisenhower, the last good Republican president. Don't @ me.
 
1979 - A partial meltdown at a Three Mile Island nuclear reactor is caused either by a coolant leak, or Wolverine and Sabretooth fighting Ryan Reynolds. I forget which.
 
1986 - Lady Gaga is born. She will later sing about the manner in which it occurred.
 
1990 - George H.W. Bush posthumously awards the Congressional Gold Medal to Jesse Owens. I'm sure he appreciates it.

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On March 29 in History:
 
87 BCE - Emperor Wu of Han dies after 54+ years on the throne, a record which will not be broken for over 1800 years. How d'ya like them apples, Elizabeth II?
 
57 - Emperor Guangwu of Han dies after a mere 32 years on the throne. Pathetic. Although I suppose he did restore the dynasty after the interregnum, so I should cut him some slack.
 
500 - Saint Gwynllyw, King of Gwynllwg and son of Glywys of Glywysing, dies. God dammit, Wales, what the hell did I just type?
 
845 - Ragnar Loðbrók sacks Paris. Probably. There isn't definitive, conclusive *proof* that it was him who did it, but all signs point to ol' hairy breeches. Plenty of things don't have definitive proof, but we're reasonably sure about them. Don't take this away from me.
 
1461 - Edward of York wins the Battle of Towton and becomes Edward IV. Queen Margaret rides away shaking her fist and screaming, "You haven't seen the last of us!"
 
1792 - Gustav III of Sweden dies 13 days after being literally shot in the back at a masquerade ball by nobles who didn't like how he was running the country.
 
1809 - Gustav IV Adolf of Sweden abdicates after being figuratively stabbed in the back by officers who staged a coup because they didn't like how he was running the country.
 
1867 - Queen Victoria agrees to the idea of Canada being a thing. Might take a couple of months to sort out the details.
 
1886 - Working in a friend's backyard, trying to make an alcohol-free version of the cocaine and kola nut based medicine he'd created to treat his morphine addiction, John Pemberton accidentally mixes his latest test batch with soda water. What an idiot.
 
1941 - The Royal Navy defeats the Regia Marina (Italian for "Royal Navy") at the Battle of Cape Matapan off the Greek coast. There can be only one.
 
1961 - United States citizens residing in the nation's capital are given the right to vote for president. We draw the line at giving them representation in Congress or allowing them their own functional local government, though. That'd be crazy.
 
1962 - Argentinian president Arturo Frondizi is overthrown in a military coup. Shots!
 
1990 - An ineffectual compromise is reached in the Czechoslovak parliament that leaves nobody happy regarding what to call their country, newly independent as it is from the USSR. The conflict centers around - I shit you not - whether or not to put a hyphen in it. And if that's not silly enough for you, the two sides can't even agree whether it should be called a hyphen or a dash. No, really.
 
2004 - Bulgaria, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Romania, Slovakia, and Slovenia join NATO. For anyone keeping score, not one of them is on the Atlantic (one being completely landlocked), and four of them aren't even North! They are, admittedly, members of an organization, and they did sign a treaty, so there's that.
 
2013 - Chinese footballer Liu Kang dies of lung cancer, and if you think for one second I'm going to make a tasteless Mortal Kombat joke, allow me to disabuse you of the notion. I started his entry on a classy note, and that's how I'm going to Finish Him.
 
2016 - Patty Duke dies. Hold on to your butts, boys and girls. This year is not a fan of beloved celebrities and it's just getting started.

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8 hours ago, Illjwamh said:
2004 - Bulgaria, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Romania, Slovakia, and Slovenia join NATO. For anyone keeping score, not one of them is on the Atlantic (one being completely landlocked), and four of them aren't even North! They are, admittedly, members of an organization, and they did sign a treaty, so there's that.
 

A more interesting tidbit is that all of these countries were formerly part of the bloc that NATO had been formed to defend against. That's kind of like letting the neighborhood bullies join your anti-bully association.

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Just realized that it's been a year since I started this thread. I was all ready to put in today's when I realized it was the first one I ever posted here.

I do plan to keep making them, so unless people don't want it, I'll probably keep putting them in here for the days I haven't done, even if other people already have.

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1 hour ago, Illjwamh said:

unless people don't want it, I'll probably keep putting them in here for the days I haven't done

Don't want it?

We NEED it!

The more obscure and esoteric, the better.

Unless you start covering the history of bread making...

 

In that case, we knead it.

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10 hours ago, ijuin said:

He was gone?

 

2 hours ago, Scotty said:

It had been a while since he used The List, must have been quite dusty.

/me isn't my normal persona.

 

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