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Illjwamh

This Day In History

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1 hour ago, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

Since when do "facts" have any relevance to any sort of election?

Since I started to get really, really tired of spin doctors presenting 'alternative' facts and expecting me to be stupid enough to believe it.

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On October 19 in History:
 
202 BCE -Scipio Africanus defeats Hannibal Barca at the Battle of Zama outside Carthage, ending the Second Punic War after 17 years. Quoth 30,000 very tired Romans: "AAAAAA! That's right! That's what you get!"
 
439 - Vandal king Gaiseric takes Carthage FROM the Romans. It is just not a good day to live in Carthage all around.
 
1216 - King John of England dies, leaving as successor his son Henry III, who is nine. "We'll take it." ~The English
 
1469 - King Ferrando II of Aragon and Queen Isabel of Castile get married. Big deal, another royal wedding. Like they'll ever actually do anything important.
 
1512 - Martin Luther gets his doctorate in Theology. Time to start thinking about stuff!
 
1789 - John Jay, a.k.a. "The Founding Father Nobody Remembers", is sworn in as the first Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court.
 
1812 - Napoleon gives up Moscow as a bad job and makes a run for it, cutting his losses. Said losses will unfortunately include roughly three fourths of his army.
 
1813 - Napoleon gets his ass kicked by a coalition of Russia, Prussia, Austria, and Sweden at the Battle of Leipzig and is forced to abandon Germany and run home with his tail between his legs. Not a good day to be Napoleon all around.
 
1866 - The Treaty of Vienna forces Austria to hand over Mantua and Veneto to France, who immediately regifts them to Italy as a thank-you for letting them take Nice and Savoy.
 
1900 - Max Planck discovers Planck's Law, which I'm putting on here as I assume it's important, though I have absolutely no idea what it is. I do history, not physics.
 
1921 - The prime minister of Portugal and several high level officials are murdered by disgruntled army men led by Colonel Manuel Maria Coelho. The new prime minister? One Manuel Maria Coelho.
 
1944 - "Told you." ~Gen. Douglas MacArthur, Philippines
 
1950 - The Battle of Pyongyang is a U.N. victory. A few hours later, up north: "Not so fast, muthafuckas!" ~China
 
1969 - South Park and Book of Mormon co-creator Trey Parker is born. He unfortunately shares his birthdate with Biggest Douche in the Universe John Edward.
 
1973 - Richard Nixon rejects a decision from an Appeals Court ordering him to turn over the Watergate tapes. Let's see how this plays out for him.
 

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4 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

1900 - Max Planck discovers Planck's Law, which I'm putting on here as I assume it's important, though I have absolutely no idea what it is. I do history, not physics.

That is what you get for being as thick as two short Plancks.

4 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

1944 - "Told you." ~Gen. Douglas MacArthur, Philippines

Later on, MacArthur's preceding line would be paraphrased to great effect by Arnold Schwarzenegger.

4 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

1973 - Richard Nixon rejects a decision from an Appeals Court ordering him to turn over the Watergate tapes. Let's see how this plays out for him.

I am sure it ended well. That must be why the current administration is applying the same tactic to even greater extremes.

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On October 21 in History:
 
1096 - A Seljuq army defeats and destroys the People's Crusade. Given that the People's Crusade was little more than a mob of peasants with torches and pitchforks, this is not particularly impressive.
 
1097 - Real Crusaders settle in and lay siege to Antioch. "This is contrary to what we've come to expect!" ~The Seljuqs
 
1392 - Japanese Southern Court emperor Go-Kameyama abdicates to his Northern Court rival, in the understanding that the two courts will alternate rule from here on out. Spoiler: They do not.
 
1520 - The Strait of Magellan is discovered by none other than Ferdinand Magellan himself. What a remarkable coincidence!
 
1600 - Tokugawa Ieyasu decisively wins the Battle of Sekigahara. Some rivals will spend a few more years pretending Japan doesn't belong to him now, but it totally does.
 
1797 - The USS Constitution is launched from Boston Harbor. This is only noteworthy if you're aware that it's still there today.
 
1805 - The French-Spanish fleet lose 22 out of 33 ships at the Battle of Trafalgar, while the Royal Navy loses 0 out of 27...and Lord Nelson. So a wash, basically.
 
1833 - Birth of Alfred Nobel, who will be remembered for precisely two very different things.
 
1921 - Warren G. Harding is the first sitting U.S. president to give a speech against the practice of lynching in the South. Apparently, all prior presidents considered extrajudicial murder by racist mob to be an issue beneath their notice.
 
1944 - The city of Aachen, the old imperial capital, is the first German city to fall to Allied forces. Meanwhile, in the Battle of Leyte Gulf, a Japanese pilot crashes his plane into the HMAS Australia and holy shit, he did it on purpose.
 
1956 - Birth of Carrie Fisher, princess of cinnamon buns and queen of sick burns.
 
1965 - Comet Ikeya–Seki passes within 450,000 km of the Sun, and is clearly visible in the sky during the day. Firebenders the world over receive a sharp boost to their power.
 
1994 - North Korea signs an agreement with the U.S. to halt its nuclear weapons program and submit to inspections. "Sure, sure," they are quoted as saying.
 

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59 minutes ago, Illjwamh said:

1833 - Birth of Alfred Nobel, who will be remembered for precisely two very different things.

I don't care. The man was dynamite.

59 minutes ago, Illjwamh said:

1921 - Warren G. Harding is the first sitting U.S. president to give a speech against the practice of lynching in the South. Apparently, all prior presidents considered extrajudicial murder by racist mob to be an issue beneath their notice.

I dunno, it makes for a nice change to have a president who is not unashamedly and openly racist. Imagine if we were that progressive today.

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On October 22 in History:
 
726 - Death of Itzamnaaj Kʼawiil, King of Dos Pilas, the original name of which we unfortunately do not know. I wonder what weird names future civilizations will give our cities.
 
1383 - King Fernando of Portugal dies without a male heir. His son-in-law, John, is the King of Castile, and thus unpopular with Portuguese nobles, who turn to Fernando's illegitimate half-brother, John. His other illegitimate half-brother, John, is not considered.
 
1721 - Tsar Peter I of Russia decides he'd rather be called Emperor Peter I of Russia.
 
1797 - André-Jacques Garnerin is the first person to jump out of a flying thing (in this case, a hot air balloon 3,200 feet above Paris) on purpose and live, thanks to his new invention: a sheet in a backpack. It might be a little more complicated than that; I don't know.
 
1844 - Followers of Baptist preacher William Miller, called Millerites, stay up all day and night waiting for his predicted second coming of Jesus. I'll let you guess why they call tomorrow the "Great Disappointment."
 
1879 - After a year of trial and error, Thomas Edison is able to make an incandescent light bulb last for 13 and a half hours before burning out. Artists unfortunately had no way to illustrate how the idea occurred to him.
 
1938 - Great Scott! Christopher Lloyd is born several years after his own death.
 
1952 - Hey here's something. Ahhh, today is, well it's a very important day. Jeff Goldblum is, um, born, and I want you to try something. I want you to go back...just go back, and uhh, read this in his voice. It'll be fun, I promise.
 
1964 - "No thanks." ~Jean-Paul Sartre on winning the Nobel Prize for Literature
 
1964 again - "How 'bout a leaf?" "Brilliant." ~Canadian Parliamentary Committee, deciding on the official design for the new national flag.
 
1973 - Ichiro Suzuki is born. He is already a better hitter than half of the MLB.
 
1999 - Maurice Papon, Vichy collaborator and Legion of Honor recipient, is imprisoned for crimes against humanity related to one of those things. Better late than never.
 
2014 - A terrorist gunman attacks the Canadian Parliament, killing a soldier and wounding three other people before being shot 31 times, giving Canadians a very brief, horrifying taste of what it's like to live in America.
 
2019 - Same-sex marriage is legal and abortion decriminalized in Northern Ireland. Not by voter action or judicial or legislative decree, but by default when their devolved legislative body does not reform. There's something to be said for laziness.
 

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2 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

1383 - King Fernando of Portugal dies without a male heir. His son-in-law, John, is the King of Castile, and thus unpopular with Portuguese nobles, who turn to Fernando's illegitimate half-brother, John. His other illegitimate half-brother, John, is not considered.

A friend of mine and I once watched the soccer championships where some team from the Balkans happened to participate. We kept hearing one particular name being repeated again and again. We started wondering if all the players were named that.

That was when we realised that at the time in question, the Danish national team had no less than four players named Olsen, and that any foreign audience might with some justice wonder the same thing about us.

(On a mildly related note, the three prime ministers preceding our current one were all named Rasmussen. Poul Nyrup Rasmussen, Anders Fogh Rasmussen and Lars Løkke Rasmussen. A foreign observer could not be faulted for thinking that the same political dynasty had ruled Denmark for a quarter century, but actually none of them were even distantly related.)

2 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

1797 - André-Jacques Garnerin is the first person to jump out of a flying thing (in this case, a hot air balloon 3,200 feet above Paris) on purpose and live, thanks to his new invention: a sheet in a backpack. It might be a little more complicated than that; I don't know.

I was quite surprised to learn that the parachute was invented more than a century before powered flight became a thing, then I realised that it was essentially just a continuation of the work of the Brothers Montgolfier and it made sense. Of course it lacked some modern conveniences like proper straps and snap release, but you can't have everything.

Incidentally, up until 1917 the pilots on both sides of WW1 were not allowed to bring parachutes with them. That might just encourage them to bail from their expensive planes. It was not until years of conflict that it slowly dawned on the very dim High Commands of both sides that skilled pilots were actually kinda expensive, too.

2 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

1844 - Followers of Baptist preacher William Miller, called Millerites, stay up all day and night waiting for his predicted second coming of Jesus. I'll let you guess why they call tomorrow the "Great Disappointment."

They just got the math wrong! At least a very learned Evangelical pastor determined that. He found that the actual date was in 2012!

Admittedly I managed to miss it, but probably it just didn't make the news.

2 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

1999 - Maurice Papon, Vichy collaborator and Legion of Honor recipient, is imprisoned for crimes against humanity related to one of those things. Better late than never.

Goldarn Legionnaires d'Honneur! You aren't safe from them anywhere.

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1 hour ago, The Old Hack said:

A friend of mine and I once watched the soccer championships where some team from the Balkans happened to participate. We kept hearing one particular name being repeated again and again. We started wondering if all the players were named that.

That was when we realised that at the time in question, the Danish national team had no less than four players named Olsen, and that any foreign audience might with some justice wonder the same thing about us.

(On a mildly related note, the three prime ministers preceding our current one were all named Rasmussen. Poul Nyrup Rasmussen, Anders Fogh Rasmussen and Lars Løkke Rasmussen. A foreign observer could not be faulted for thinking that the same political dynasty had ruled Denmark for a quarter century, but actually none of them were even distantly related.)

 

Not to mention that your last 18 kings have been named Christian, Frederick, Christian, Frederick, Christian, Frederick, Christian, Frederick, Christian, Frederick, Christian, Frederick, Christian, Frederick, Christian, Frederick, Christian, and Frederick. 

And as I understand it, the queen's heir apparent is named...Frederick.

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1 minute ago, Illjwamh said:

Not to mention that your last 18 kings have been named Christian, Frederick, Christian, Frederick, Christian, Frederick, Christian, Frederick, Christian, Frederick, Christian, Frederick, Christian, Frederick, Christian, Frederick, Christian, and Frederick. 

And as I understand it, the queen's heir apparent is named...Frederick.

Err, not quite correct but close. We've had ten Christians, nine Frederiks and one poor guy named Hans. Went like this. We had Christian the First, then Hans, then Christian the Second, then Frederik the First, then Christian the Third, then Frederik the Second...

It went on like that uninterruptedly till Frederik IX had daughters but no sons. So his oldest daughter became Margrethe the Second and then named her oldest son Frederik so the Frederiks could at long last hope to catch up with the Christians.

Any rumours that King Hans was the same Hans as the guy from the movie Frozen are totally unfounded. That idea is plain silly and people really just need to let it go.

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Yes, I know. I started counting after Hans. Hence 9 Christians and 9 Fredericks. 18.

 

2 minutes ago, The Old Hack said:

Any rumours that King Hans was the same Hans as the guy from the movie Frozen are totally unfounded. That idea is plain silly and people really just need to let it go.

Nice.

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1 minute ago, Illjwamh said:

Yes, I know. I started counting after Hans. Hence 9 Christians and 9 Fredericks. 18.

Errr, Frederiks, but yes, that's true. I guess I just am kinda miffed by that unevenness of the numbering. Then again I was not alone in that. Many generations of Danish nitpickers have complained about it.

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You dare question my arbitrary use of English historians' penchant for using the English spelling of kings' names? Just be happy I didn't call Hans "John".

(I say arbitrary because I usually do like to use the native spelling, but for instance today's "John" joke wouldn't have worked if I had, since one of them would have been "Juan" and the other two would have been "João".)

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Authority is useful to human society

If there wasn't some one with whom everyone else could disagree, then we would need to spend all our time disagreeing with each other over every little thing

But with an Authority figure, we can all disagree with the authority

Thus we can reach agreement and actually accomplish something

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On 10/19/2019 at 9:48 PM, Illjwamh said:
A touch late, but:
 
"On October 19 in History:
1900 - Max Planck discovers Planck's Law, which I'm putting on here as I assume it's important, though I have absolutely no idea what it is. I do history, not physics."
 
No big deal, just keeps all the the normal matter in the universe from wrecking itself in what the physicists of the time called the "ultraviolet catastrophe."
Oh, and it's kept me employed for decades, now.
 

 

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On October 23 in History:
 
42 BCE - Brutus commits suicide after being decisively defeated at the Battle of Philippi by Octavian and Mark Antony, best friends forever!
 
1295 - A treaty signed in Paris seals the Auld Alliance between France and Scotland. Oh, England is really fucked now.
 
1642 - King Charles's army attacks Parliament's army at the Battle of Edgehill after the two accidentally encounter each other the day before. Both sides are little more than ragtag bands of misfits and it doesn't go well for anyone. The English Civil War is off with a...well, not a bang. A loud thump, maybe?
 
1707 - The Parliament of Great Britain convenes for the first time. "I say, who let all these Scots in here?"
 
1739 - Britain declares war on Spain because merchant ship captain Robert Jenkins had his ear cut off eight years ago.
 
1766 - Birth of Emmanuel de Grouchy, marquis de Grouchy. Seen here:
 
Culture-Grumpy-Cat-487386121-2.jpg
 
1950 - Al Jolson dies at only 64. He didn't age well.
 
1955 - Vietnam becomes a republic after Prime Minister Ngô Đình Diệm defeats former emperor Bảo Đại with 98.2% of the vote in a referendum that isn't suspicious at all.
 
1956 - State police in Hungary fire on a group of anti-communist protesters. They will come to regret this, but not for very long, sadly.
 
1959 - A son is born to Mary and Nick Yankovic, who for the time being is known as Normal Al.
 
1984 - Meghan McCain is born. Do you know who her father is? If not(/so), she will remind you frequently, and at length.
 
1986 - Emilia Clarke hatches from a dragon egg. Pretty sure that's how it works.
 
1989 - The communist Hungarian People's Republic is officially replaced by the Third Hungarian Republic. Guess they got the last laugh after all.
 
1993 - An IRA bomber in Belfast has a premature detonation, killing himself and 9 civilians. Hey, I'm sure it happens to a lot of terrorists.
 

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On 9/1/2019 at 2:51 PM, Illjwamh said:
On September 1 in History:
 
1715 - Louis XIV dies after 72 years. That's the longest (verifiable) reign of anyone, ever.

So, Liz just has to hang in another five years?  C'mon, Bess, you can do it!!

On 9/2/2019 at 6:07 PM, Illjwamh said:
On September 2 in History:
 
1666 - London baker Thomas Farriner of Pudding Lane accidentally leaves the oven on.

I've read that not only was the bakery not actually on Pudding Lane, but on a side-street off of it, the site is currently in the middle of Monument Street, Pudding Lane having been moved to make room for the street named for the monument to the fire.

On 9/7/2019 at 1:56 AM, Illjwamh said:
On September 6 in History:
 
1901 - U.S. president William McKinley is shot at the Pan-American Expo in Buffalo, NY by an anarchist he was trying to shake hands with who felt it was his duty. The specific event where it happened had been removed from the president's schedule twice by his secretary (who feared an assassination attempt might take place there), but the president insisted on attending. Incidentally, McKinley is the third president assassinated in 36 years, and the last not to have Secret Service protection. Fascinating.

I love reading entries like this, because looking further into them is so fascinating!

According to the Wikipedia article, McKinley was accompanied by not only "his usual Secret Service agent, George Foster," but also two other Secret Service agents added at the request of McKinley's personal secretary, who had tried three times to remove the event from the President's schedule for fear of assassination attempts.

The man directly ahead of the assassin in line to meet the President was described as "swarthy" and was looked on with a great deal of suspicion by the Secret Service and police present.  He shook the President's hand and move on without incident.  The man in line after the assassin was a mix of African and Spanish ancestry (so probably also "swarthy"), and he tackled the assassin faster than any of the police or Secret Service agents, before he could get off a third shot.

One of the new bits of technology being presented at the Expo was a primitive x-ray machine.  Instead of using it, doctors trying to find and remove the bullet stuck their hands into the wound and fished around.  Later Thomas Edison sent another x-ray machine, but it apparently arrived with a crucial part missing.  Tesla would've gotten it working if he'd sent it!

This one deserves to be quoted in full.  "The best surgeon in the city, and the Exposition's medical director, Dr. Roswell Park, was in Niagara Falls, performing a delicate neck operation. When interrupted during the procedure on September 6 to be told he was needed in Buffalo, he responded that he could not leave, even for the President of the United States. He was then told who had been shot. Park, two weeks later, would save the life of a woman who suffered injuries almost identical to McKinley's."

John Hay was McKinley's Secretary of State.  He had also been Abraham Lincoln's private secretary and a good friend of James Garfield.  If he hadn't died in 1905 he probably would have been connected with JFK somehow, too.  I wonder how many people have searched for some encounter between him and old Joe Kennedy?

On 9/8/2019 at 4:44 PM, Illjwamh said:
On September 8 in History:
 
1331 - Stefan Dušan declares himself to be the King of Serbia. Nobody has the guts to tell him otherwise, so I guess he's the King of Serbia now.

Hey, it worked for Emperor Norton I!

On 9/8/2019 at 4:44 PM, Illjwamh said:
On September 8 in History:
 
1504 - Michelangelo unveils his statue of a ripped naked guy with a tiny dick in Florence.

He was imitating the ancient Greeks and Romans, who thought that big, floppy, unwieldy dicks were hilarious and made fun of them.

On 9/8/2019 at 4:44 PM, Illjwamh said:
On September 8 in History:
 
1522 - Magellan's ship Victoria arrives in Seville today, meaning the circumnavigation was not completed two days ago, but just now. This fact brought to you by this month's issue of "Well, Actually" magazine.

Note that Magellan had died in the Philippines, and the Victoria arrived under the command of Juan Sebastián Elcano.

On 9/8/2019 at 4:44 PM, Illjwamh said:
On September 8 in History:
 
1966 - Gene Roddenberry boldly goes where no TV show has gone before.

No joke or info, I just think this is really cool!

On 9/10/2019 at 4:09 PM, Illjwamh said:

On September 9 in History:

1000 - King Olaf Tryggvasson

Huh, I had no idea Othar Tryggvassen, Gentleman Adventurer was named after a real person!

On 9/10/2019 at 4:09 PM, Illjwamh said:

1947 - The world's first computer bug is found. Literally. There was moth in the Mark II computer at Harvard.

And Admiral Grace Hopper, one of the most important figures in the early days of computing, carefully preserved it in the logs for the day. Note that this use of the word "bug" did already exist, hence it being funny enough to find a real bug messing things up for her to make the joke in the first place.  :-)

On 9/10/2019 at 4:09 PM, Illjwamh said:

On September 9 in History:

2015 - "Eat it, Victoria." ~ Elizabeth II, longest reigning British Monarch.

The goal to beat is 72 years, 110 days.  George VI died 6 February 1952, so our target is May 27, 2024.  Born 21 Aprl 1926, she'll be 98 years, 1 month, 6 days old.  That only requires going about a year beyond the average life expectancy for someone her age.

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18 hours ago, CritterKeeper said:

The goal to beat is 72 years, 110 days.  George VI died 6 February 1952, so our target is May 27, 2024.  Born 21 Aprl 1926, she'll be 98 years, 1 month, 6 days old.  That only requires going about a year beyond the average life expectancy for someone her age.

Remember, Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother lived to be over 101, but George VI died at 56

So let's keep in mind a few other longevity records for her and her descendants to hit before 2024

According to the infalible Wikipedia

 

The oldest heir apparent to an heir apparent to an heir apparent was Edward VIII (aged 6 years 213 days at the death of Victoria). Prince George of Cambridge is currently 6 years, 94 days old and would surpass Edward VIII on 20 February 2020.

Charles, The Prince of Wales is already the oldest Heir Apparent

Prince William, the Duke of Cambridge is already the oldest Heir Apparent to an Heir Apparent
Elizabeth, despite producing the longest serving heirs apparent, was never heir apparent herself.  At birth, she was third in line and everyone expected her to become just another royal princess to  haul out on state occasions and marry off to some foreign prince.

Liz will reach the number four spot of all Monarchs with verifiable dates of reign who ruled independent and sovereign nations in March of 2020
There are a few longer reigning monarchs from antiquity or who "ruled" states that were actually British Protectorates or clients of the Holy Roman Empire.  But do they actually count?

And on 18 July 2020, Elizabeth II will hit 25,000 days as Queen

Edited by Pharaoh RutinTutin
Spelling

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On October 24 in History:
 
996 - Death of French king Hugh Capet. But his legacy will go on, and on, and on, and on...
 
1360 - Edward III of England and John II of France sign the Treaty of Brétigny, bringing their war to an end. There now, 23 years. That wasn't so bad.
 
1601 - Death of Tycho Brahe. The astronomer, not the Penny Arcade guy.
 
1648 - The Peace of Westphalia is established, ending the Thirty Years' War, and setting up the new world order based on sovereign states that is still used globally today. So now you know whom to blame.
 
1851 - William Lassell discovers Uranus moons Uriel and Ariel, and is presumably driven to suicide by the jokes.
 
1894 - Birth of Bengali author and poet Bibhutibhushan Mukhopadhyay, one of the few people on my lists to ever beat out the various Mayan kings in terms of names that are difficult to say.
 
1901 - On her 63rd birthday, Annie Edson Taylor is the first person to go over Niagra Falls in a barrel. Phase 2: ???. Phase 3: Profit!
 
1912 - The Ottoman army loses the Battle of Kirk Kilisse to Bulgaria and the Battle of Kumanovo to Serbia. Kind of mean for them to gang up on a sick old man.
 
1929 - The stock market drops over 11 percent at the opening bell, but thanks to some quick thinking and decisive action, catastrophe is averted and it closes down only 6 and a half percent by the end of the day. Whew, that could've been messy.
 
1945 - Execution by firing squad of Vidkun Quisling. Not sure what else he was expecting, really.
 
1956 - Soviet forces invade Budapest in response to the revolution that started yesterday. Oh, this isn't gonna be good.
 
1964 - Northern Rhodesia gains independence from the U.K. "Call us Zambia."
 
1975 - 90% of women in Iceland go on strike to protest gender inequality. Considering they're now the most gender equal country on Earth, I'd say it worked.
 
1986 - Aubrey Drake Graham is born. He will later shed his two hardened outer names and just keep the meaty part in the middle.
 
1989 - God dammit, no; I'm not doing one for fuckin' PewDiePie. Wait, shit.
 
1992 - The Toronto Blue Jays are the first non-American baseball team to win the World Series. It now feels slightly less silly to call it that.
 
2004 - Arsenal loses to Manchester United after going undefeated for 49 matches, a record in the Premier League. You can't prove I have no idea what I'm talking about.
 
2008 - Stork markets around the world drop an average of 10%. Creepy.

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