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Illjwamh

This Day In History

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12 minutes ago, Darth Fluffy said:

Having just perused nobility ranks a couple of days ago, "King", i.e. "local sovereign" was not the top rank; there were a very few layers of aggregates of kingdoms, topped by "Emperor." This probably makes more sense as a feudal delegation rather than as a section of a constitutional monarchy.

It kind of depends. Standing on his own a king is always a sovereign ruler. Feudal rulers were all in agreement on that. You could have a rank equal to that of a king in an empire, but then you called yourself something different, e. g. a Royal Duke or a viceroy (this latter if appointed by the Emperor or Empress). It is also important to note that you could have a King or Queen of England who simultaneously was also Emperor/Empress of the British Empire.

On the other hand, you could also be the sovereign ruler of a country and at the same time Duke (or similar lesser rank) of fiefdoms outside your actual kingdom. This was the case of the Danish Kings for quite a while; apart from being Kings, they were also Dukes of Schleswig and Holstein. But the latter two were not part of Denmark. They were German fiefdoms and enjoyed separate rights and laws. This triggered an actual rebellion when the Danish King Frederik the Seventh started to treat them as part of Denmark in 1848 and later on the infamous 1864 war against Prussia and Austria when the singularly incompetent and inept government we had at the time outright attempted to annex them into the kingdom itself.

And of course, in 1920 we had the Easter Crisis when Denmark was offered the return of both plus the land the Prussians had taken away from us in 1864 as part of the Allied attempt to dismember Germany. The Danish government at the time possessed both brains and foresight beyond their current term (nearly unique for our political history) and elected to solve the issue through a plebiscite. They drew the border as close to the 50% want to go to Germany/50% want to go to Denmark point as possible. Stunningly, this meant that Schleswig and Holstein preferred to stay German. Then our not very bright King Christian the 10th threw a hissy fit and fired the government because this reasonable solution did not suit his Royal Ego. Ah well.

Back to the King point again: feudal lands were so anal about this that when Prussia attempted to establish itself as a monarchy, the hapless Friedrich had to make do with the title 'King in Prussia' rather than 'King of Prussia' as the latter would have made his neighbours twitch and might have caused a war. And he had to do a delicate diplomatic dance to get even that much. They could be incredibly anal about that title sometimes.

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Many dukes and counts and margraves and such were also independent sovereign rulers, but were not styled as kings for one reason or another, typically because their realm was not considered important or large enough or something like that. In all cases when these dynasties officially changed their title to "king", they had to petition the Pope for permission to do so.

This is also why, until Napoleon, no one dared to style themselves as "Emperor", despite there being several times where by modern reckoning it would have been appropriate, as everyone knew there was only one emperor in Europe.

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And if you want to be King, you don't even need to have all the forms filled out in your lifetime
They can make you a King after you are already dead

Remember Good King Wenceslaus ?

St Wenceslaus I, was only Duke of Bohemia during his lifetime.  Holy Roman Emperor Otto I posthumously "conferred on him the regal dignity and title", which is why he is referred to as "king" in legend and song.

By the way, the Song of which you are probably thinking was originally a spring carol from Scandinavia with lyrics in Latin
As I sit here on a breezy 70OF day in Florida, I feel I should share spring greetings with the temperature challenged among you

 

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4 hours ago, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

And if you want to be King, you don't even need to have all the forms filled out in your lifetime
They can make you a King after you are already dead

Remember Good King Wenceslaus ?

St Wenceslaus I, was only Duke of Bohemia during his lifetime.  Holy Roman Emperor Otto I posthumously "conferred on him the regal dignity and title", which is why he is referred to as "king" in legend and song.

By the way, the Song of which you are probably thinking was originally a spring carol from Scandinavia with lyrics in Latin
As I sit here on a breezy 70OF day in Florida, I feel I should share spring greetings with the temperature challenged among you

 

Posthumously seems somewhat less useful.

There should be a word "posthumorously" to describe comedy that is no longer funny.

In your musical insert, around the three minute mark the change from the Good King Wenceslaus tune to the academic march. is that somehow related?

 

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On December 2 in History:
 
1697 - Consecration of St. Paul's Cathedral in London. It's named after the old one that burnt down, and even though we're not Catholic anymore we're going to keep the name because too much change is gonna freak people out.
 
1804 - "By the power vested in me by the Emperor of the French, who is me, I crown myself Emperor of the French!" ~Napoleon
 
1823 - "We'll stay out of y'all's business over there and y'all stay out of our business over here." ~James Monroe to Europe
 
1845 - "The State of Our Union is manifesting its destiny all over them western lands." ~James K. Polk
 
1848 - Franz Josef I becomes Emperor of Austria. Get used to him; he'll be around for a while.
 
1851 - President Louis-Napoléon Bonaparte (later known as Emperor Napoleon III) overthrows the Second French Republic. "Yeah, this one's on us; we should have seen this coming."
 
1859 - John Brown is hanged for doing the right thing the wrong way. Still better than doing the wrong thing the right way.
 
1908 - Two year old Puyi becomes Emperor of China. Maybe it's time to start thinking about not having these anymore.
 
1927 - "Please, the Model T is so 19 years ago. It's all about the Model A now." ~Ford
 
1957 - Death of American actor Harrison Ford. No, not that one; calm down.
 
1961 - "Surprise! Cuba's communist now!" ~Fidel Castro
 
1968 - Lucy Liu comes into the world. She ages 30 years in 30 seconds and then stops forever.
 
1975 - The Pathet Lao organization takes control of the capital city of Vientiane and forces King Sisavang Vatthana to abdicate, ending roughly 30 years of turmoil "Surprise! Laos is communist now!"
 
1981 - Baby Britney Spears is born and accidentally hits the delivering doctor. She is asked to do it again.

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2 hours ago, Illjwamh said:
 
1804 - "By the power vested in me by the Emperor of the French, who is me, I crown myself Emperor of the French!" ~Napoleon

Not a wise move. It cost him a Beethoven symphony.

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16 hours ago, Darth Fluffy said:

change from the Good King Wenceslaus tune to the academic march. is that somehow related?

I don't know

Sometimes musical arrangements baffle me

Louis Prima tacked "I Ain't Got Nobody" to the end of "Gigolo" and somehow made it work

As a child, I had a recording of "Yankee Doodle" performed on Bagpipes that ended with "Rule Britannia!"

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18 hours ago, Illjwamh said:
On December 2 in History:
 
1823 - "We'll stay out of y'all's business over there and y'all stay out of our business over here." ~James Monroe to Europe

No agenda there ...

 

18 hours ago, Illjwamh said:
On December 2 in History:
 
1845 - "The State of Our Union is manifesting its destiny all over them western lands." ~James K. Polk

Another one of our stellar moments. Treaties and promises be damned.

 

18 hours ago, Illjwamh said:
On December 2 in History:
 
1927 - "Please, the Model T is so 19 years ago. It's all about the Model A now." ~Ford

For being an American manufacturing hero, Ford was kind of slow to understand the market he was in. Although, keeping the Model T cost as low as it was paved the way for the auto industry in America in general, so maybe it was a good thing.

 

18 hours ago, Illjwamh said:
On December 2 in History:
 
1961 - "Surprise! Cuba's communist now!" ~Fidel Castro

America gets a hard-on when this happens, and fails to evaluate and respond to opportunities. Fidel was a communist, but he was also a a Cuban nationalist, and a liberator and reformer from a very corrupt dictator, much worse than Fidel ever was. Fidel made overtures to the U.S. first, perhaps expecting, "Hey, you guys are all about freedom and self-determination." That did not work out so well for him. Then he turned to Russia. Can't say I'm exactly a fan, but I don't see anything he's done that called for decades of embargo.

We pulled the same $#!% in Southeast Asia. Armed Ho in WW II to fight the Japanese for us, then when he tries to be independent,, "Let's throw France a bone", then, "Oh, and let's split up the country, because that's what they really want" after France fails to maintain control.

For having such a great foundational document, we don't seem to want to let anyone else follow its guidance.

 

 

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43 minutes ago, Darth Fluffy said:

For having such a great foundational document, we don't seem to want to let anyone else follow its guidance.

 

It's the American way!

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2 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

It's the American way!

The phrase "Truth, Justice, and The American Way" makes it plain that The American Way is a separate and distinct entity from Truth and/or Justice.

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On December 3 in History:
 
311 - Death of Diocletian, one of those rare Roman emperors who had a lick of sense. Fortunately, he put in place a system that should be able to hold things together even without him around to supervise.
 
1799 - The Austrians defeat the French at the Battle of Wiesloch in the War of the Second Coalition. Wait for it...
 
1800 - The French defeat the Austrians at the Battle of Hohenlinden, forcing them to sign an armistice to end the War of the Second Coalition. Ah, revenge is a dish best served IN YOUR STUPID FACES!
 
1912 - The Balkan League and the Ottoman Empire put their war on pause for a couple of months, I guess so they can be home for the holidays. Wait, you can do that? Suggestion: let's just never hit the unpause button.
 
1965 - The Beatles release Rubber Soul, an experimental folk album. The experiment was to see if the public is ready for Sgt. Pepper.
 
1976 - An assassination attempt is made on Bob Marley. The gunman will later confess to shooting him, but will deny shooting his back up singer.
 
1994 - Sony releases its Playstation in Japan. Pfft, they'll never dethrone Nintendo and Sega.
 
1997 - 121 countries sign a treaty in Ottawa agreeing to prohibit the manufacture and use of anti-personnel land mines. Among those not in attendance: Russia, China, and...The United States. Because of course.

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On December 4 in History:
 
530 BCE - Death of Cyrus the Great, perhaps the most magnanimous and forward thinking ruler in human history. Fight me.
 
771 - King Carloman I dies, leaving the entire Frankish kingdom under the control of his brother Charles. Hope he can handle it.
 
1259 - Henry III of England signs a treaty with Louis IX of France, renouncing his claim to all continental holdings currently under French control. If you think you feel an earthquake, it'll be Henrys I & ii rolling over in their graves.
 
1676 - 13,000 invading Danish troops get their asses handed to them by 8,000 Swedes at the Battle of Lund. In terms of casualty percentage (roughly 70%), it is the bloodiest day in Scandinavian history prior to the first doorbuster sale at IKEA.
 
1861 - Jefferson Davis is unanimously (via Electoral College, mind) elected president of the Confederate States of America. An auspicious beginning!
 
1909 - The Montreal Canadiens ice hockey team is founded. "We'll think of a better name later."
 
1964 - 800 students are arrested at UC Berkeley for staging a protest of the university governing board's decision to forbid all protests on university property. I feel like everyone involved should have seen all of this coming.
 
1977 - President Jean-Bédel Bokassa of the Central African Republic crowns himself emperor of the Central African Empire, spending a third of the country's GDP on his coronation alone. Good luck with that.
 
2005 - Tens of thousands of Hong Kong residents protest for democracy, and universal suffrage. I hope y'all are comfortable.
 

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On 12/5/2019 at 2:47 AM, Illjwamh said:
On December 4 in History:

 

1977 - President Jean-Bédel Bokassa of the Central African Republic crowns himself emperor of the Central African Empire, spending a third of the country's GDP on his coronation alone. Good luck with that.

You mean President Jean-Bédel Broke-ass-a, amiright?

Edited by Darth Fluffy
boke -> broke

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On 12/5/2019 at 2:47 AM, Illjwamh said:

1909 - The Montreal Canadiens ice hockey team is founded. "We'll think of a better name later."

Between that and "Les Habitants" all other suggestions weren't anymore original.

Anyway, you can knock the name, but you can't knock the 24 times they've won Lord Stanley's Mug. ;)

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9 hours ago, Scotty said:

Between that and "Les Habitants" all other suggestions weren't anymore original.

Anyway, you can knock the name, but you can't knock the 24 times they've won Lord Stanley's Mug. ;)

Montreal Mooses

Montreal Meanies

Montreal Mounties    (however, the RCMP does not operate in Quebec and Ontario, per Wiki)

Montreal Hosers

Montreal White Bears   

Montreal Narwals

Montreal Malamutes

Eh?

 

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On December 6 in History:
 
1185 - Death of Afonso I, the first king of Portugal. Can the nation survive without him? Only time will tell.
 
1240 - Batu Khan's Golden Horde takes Kiev. I tell you, these Mongols are going all the way to the sea.
 
1421 - Henry V of England's son Henry is born. Enjoy this time while you can; he'll be king himself before you know it!
 
1534 - The city of Quito is founded in present-day Ecuador. It was actually founded a few months ago several miles away, but they didn't like that spot and moved. This time for real, though.
 
1884 - A giant monument to George Washington's manhood is completed in the capital.
 
1889 - Death of Jefferson Davis, first (and only) president of the Confederate States of America. I'm sure he'd be given a state funeral, except the country he led doesn't exist. Womp womp.
 
1917 - Finland declares independence from Russia, who currently has problems of its own and can't really contest. "We'll discuss this later."
 
1917 again - Halifax explodes. It is the largest pre-nuclear manmade explosion. All because two ships crashed into each other in a narrow strait. Whoopsie.
 
1921 - Britain and Ireland sign a treaty that calls for the creation of an Irish Free State within the year.
 
1922 - The Irish Free State is established. Cutting it a little close, wouldn't you say?
 
1941 - The U.S. and Canada declare war on Finland in support of the Soviet Union (whom you might recall was in the process of invading Finland). And you thought the Japanese internment camps were the extent of our embarrassing behavior.
 
1959 - Birth of Iwata Satoru. If you like video games, chances are you owe a lot to this man.
 
1977 - South Africa recognizes the independence of Bophuthatswana. Literally nobody else cares.
 
1990 - Death of Tunku Abdul Rahman, first prime minister of Malaysia. Unlike some others on this list, his country still exists, so he gets the whole shebang.
 
1999 - The RIAA sues Napster. That's a little harsh; all they did was facilitate the distribution of other people's property for free.
 
2017 - The Trump administration acknowledges Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, a decision which could not possibly have any negative ramifications whatsoever.

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4 minutes ago, Illjwamh said:

1240 - Batu Khan's Golden Horde takes Kiev. I tell you, these Mongols are going all the way to the sea.

Still sounds better to me than having Rudy Giuliani around.

5 minutes ago, Illjwamh said:

1534 - The city of Quito is founded in present-day Ecuador. It was actually founded a few months ago several miles away, but they didn't like that spot and moved. This time for real, though.

That explains the name. Given that they quit the first location, I mean. "We quit. Take two. Qui Two."

6 minutes ago, Illjwamh said:

1889 - Death of Jefferson Davis, first (and only) president of the Confederate States of America. I'm sure he'd be given a state funeral, except the country he led doesn't exist. Womp womp.

The freed slaves all weep bitter tears, I am sure.

7 minutes ago, Illjwamh said:

1917 - Finland declares independence from Russia, who currently has problems of its own and can't really contest. "We'll discuss this later."

It is never a good idea to mess with Finns. These people are scary.

7 minutes ago, Illjwamh said:

1922 - The Irish Free State is established. Cutting it a little close, wouldn't you say?

Oh come on, they made it in time after all.

8 minutes ago, Illjwamh said:

1941 - The U.S. and Canada declare war on Finland in support of the Soviet Union (whom you might recall was in the process of invading Finland). And you thought the Japanese internment camps were the extent of our embarrassing behavior.

Well now there is concentration camps for evil immigrant children. Never again shall they menace the land of the free and the brave by yelling, running around and playing.

9 minutes ago, Illjwamh said:

1977 - South Africa recognizes the independence of Bophuthatswana. Literally nobody else cares.

"Bohupwhatswana? Oh, Bohupthatswana."

10 minutes ago, Illjwamh said:

2017 - The Trump administration acknowledges Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, a decision which could not possibly have any negative ramifications whatsoever.

And now it is precipitously abandoning allies and fleeing bases for the Russians to take over and hold. A very good thing that Putin is such a reliable and trustworthy man unlike all these evil democracies and NATO countries. Thank goodness we have the GRU now that the USA's own intelligence agencies can no longer be relied on to act in the best interest of the US!

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11 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

1977 - South Africa recognizes the independence of Bophuthatswana. Literally nobody else cares.

Bophuthatswana is far away

But it's still in South Africa no matter what they say

 

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On December 8 in History:
 
877 - Louis the Stammerer, King of Aquitaine, is crowned King of West Francia. Ah, those simpler times when we just named people after their disabilities.
 
1432 - The Lithuanian Civil War begins with the Battle of Ashmyany between rival claimants to the Grand Duchy Švitrigaila and Sigismund Kęstutaitis. I'm rooting for the guy whose name is easier to say. I'll let you work out who that is.
 
1660 - The people of England are scandalized when the role of Desdemona (a woman) in Shakespeare's Othello is played by...a woman. I'm over here clutching my pearls so hard they're leaving indentations on my palms!
 
1854 - Pope Pius IX proclaims the dogmatic definition of Immaculate Conception: that the Blessed Virgin Mary was conceived free of the taint of Original Sin. Which makes perfect sense when you stop and think about the words' meaning for three seconds, yet will forever be the one thing about Catholicism that almost everyone - including most Catholics - will consistently and unfailingly get wrong.
 
1974 - The people of Greece vote to abolish the monarchy, which basically amounts to not letting the king come back, since they'vd been until recently ruled for six or seven years by a military junta anyway.
 
1980 - John Lennon is murdered by a guy who wants to be like Holden Caulfield, a (fictional) whiny, cynical douchenozzle who hates everybody and himself. So...nailed it?
 
2013 - Metallica holds a concert in Antarctica, making them the first band to perform on all seven continents. I didn't realize there was such a huge penguin metal scene, but it makes sense. They basically survive the winter thanks to one giant mosh pit.
 

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6 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

1660 - The people of England are scandalized when the role of Desdemona (a woman) in Shakespeare's Othello is played by...a woman. I'm over here clutching my pearls so hard they're leaving indentations on my palms!

The Tea Party is waiting for you with open arms!

6 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

1854 - Pope Pius IX proclaims the dogmatic definition of Immaculate Conception: that the Blessed Virgin Mary was conceived free of the taint of Original Sin. Which makes perfect sense when you stop and think about the words' meaning for three seconds, yet will forever be the one thing about Catholicism that almost everyone - including most Catholics - will consistently and unfailingly get wrong.

Well when Alabama state auditor Jim Ziegler defended Roy Moore for sexually molesting a fourteen year old girl, he compared it to the Immaculate Conception. So there you go. Since children are free of sins, they are perfect to have sex with, this seems to say. This could explain why so many Catholic priests seem happy to boink the children of their congregations and why senior Catholic clergy work so vigorously to defend and enable them.

6 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

2013 - Metallica holds a concert in Antarctica, making them the first band to perform on all seven continents. I didn't realize there was such a huge penguin metal scene, but it makes sense. They basically survive the winter thanks to one giant mosh pit.

So did they do a cover of "Ice, Ice, Baby"?

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On 12/9/2019 at 10:57 AM, The Old Hack said:

Well when Alabama state auditor Jim Ziegler defended Roy Moore for sexually molesting a fourteen year old girl, he compared it to the Immaculate Conception. So there you go.

While comparing Roy Moore to fecal bacteria is unfair, fecal bacteria serve a useful purpose, (Colbert: "My god, these accusations are so damning, voters are either going to force him off the ballot or make him president"), and Jim Ziegler defending him is fractally wrong, Jim Ziegler does not appear to have been invoking Immaculate Conception in his argument, rather, presumed ages of Mary and Joseph. I think he should have gone with Job 13:5 instead: "If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom." (NIV)

 

 

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The forum was down all day yesterday and most of today; I couldn't get this up.

 

On December 9 in History:

536 - Byzantine general Belisarius enters Rome. His reputation precedes him, as rather than fight, the Gothic garrison bravely runs away.

730 - Khazars to the ever-expanding Umayyad caliphate at the Battle of Marj Ardabil: "No."

1594 - Birth of Gustavus Adolphus. For the rest of Europe, this means you're about to take Sweden seriously for the first time since the VIkings found Jesus.

1688 - James II loses the Battle of Reading, the only real battle in the Glorious Revolution. When only the irish want you to be King of England, it's time to go.

1835 - The Texian Revolutionary Army takes San Antonio. Now let's see if they can hold it. There's a mission nearby that should serve as a good place to set up a defense.

1922 - Gabriel Narutowicz is elected the first president of Poland. Believe it!

1935 - The Chinese government disperses student protesters at Tiananmen Square. Lessons are learned and things should never come to an extreme like this again.

1937 - Japanese troops launch an attack on the Chinese capital of Nanjing. As long as everyone keeps their heads, we should be able to keep casualties to a minimum.

1941 - China, The Philippines, Cuba, and Guatemala declare war on Germany and Japan. For the former two, this s a bit like opening your umbrella after walking through a waterfall; for the latter two, they really wanna hang out with the cool kids at lunch.

1961 - Tanganyika gets out of their long-term relationship with the British Empire. They immediately start hitting on Zanzibar.

1965 - Thanks to a new animated Christmas special, the lyrics to "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" are permanently changed to "Loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo" in my household.

1979 - "Suck it, smallpox!" ~Humanity

1995 - Birth of McKayla Maroney, Olympic champion gymnast and grumpy face.

2016 - South Korean president Park Geun-hye is impeached following a major political scandal fraught with corruption allegations, because that's how things work in a civilized society governed by the rule of law. Must be nice.

2017 - Australia legalizes same-sex marriage. Better late than never. That's it. That's all you get for this one. You have no idea how hard it is to think of an Australia-based pun that doesn't sound dirty.

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12 hours ago, Darth Fluffy said:

Jim Ziegler does not appear to have been invoking Immaculate Conception in his argument, rather, presumed ages of Mary and Joseph.

Yeah? Well, so much for the sanctity of marriage, then. That's better than invoking the Immaculate Conception, right? Saying that it is OK to molest underage children as long as you are already married, or whatever that was supposed to mean?

No matter how you turn it, it doesn't look good.

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