This Day In History

[The Old Hack 2,448]

47 minutes ago, Illjwamh said:

1983 - The original FIFA World Cup trophy is stolen from the Brazilian Football Confederation headquarters in Rio de Janeiro. What do you do with that? I mean, you can't exactly display it on your coffee table.

You melt it down and sell the gold, which is just about the stupidest way imaginable to get money out of a priceless collectible. The same thing happened to the Golden Horns, priceless relics from the time of the Vikings. Sigh.

49 minutes ago, Illjwamh said:

1998 - U.S. President Bill Clinton is impeached. According to Republicans in congress, this is a very grave and serious matter, and he must be held accountable for his actions, for no one is above the law.

Indeed. Imagine what would happen if a president of the United States could just do whatever they wanted.

[Darth Fluffy 302]

2 hours ago, The Old Hack said:

Indeed. Imagine what would happen if a president of the United States could just do whatever they wanted.

 

[Illjwamh 98]

On December 21 in History:

 

69 - Vespasian is officially recognized by the Roman Senate as emperor. The fourth one this year. "And this is the last time; we mean it!"

 

1620 - The Mayflower pilgrims land on a rock in what is now Massachusetts. "This seems as good a spot as any. What should we call it? I don't care; just name it after the place we came from; that'll never confuse anyone."

 

1907 - Faced with at least 2,000 striking saltpeter miners in the city of Iquique, the Chilean government settles upon the expedient solution of sending the army to kill them all (and their wives and children, just to be safe). The workers are no longer striking, ergo problem solved.

 

1913 - The first crossword puzzle, designed by Arthur Wynne, is published in the New York World.What's a nine letter word for "frustrating", second letter's an A?

 

1937 - The first full-length animated feature film, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, premiers at the Carthay Circle Theatre in Los Angeles. The kitschy gimmicks some people come up with to sell a film, eh?

 

1940 - F. Scott Fitzgerald is shot in his swimming pool and dies. Haha no, he has a heart attack at only 44; it's sad.

 

1945 - After surviving two world wars, General George S. Patton dies after being paralyzed in a low speed car crash with a parked vehicle two weeks ago, in which everyone else only received minor injuries. Geez, which fate goddess did he piss off?

 

1948 - Birth of a badass motherfucker.

 

1965 - The U.N. adopts the International Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Racial Discrimination. 54 years later, some folks still haven't gotten the memo.

 

1988 - Pan Am flight 103 explodes over Lockerbie, Scotland due to a bomb placed there by...somebody. About the only guy we can probably rule out is the one who was convicted and served time for it.

[Illjwamh 98]

On December 22 in History:

 

69 - Emperor #3 Vitellius attempts to abdicate upon yesterday's confirmation of #4 Vespasian, but is killed instead, because it's Rome and of course he is.

 

244 - Birth of Diocletian. He shares his birthday with three other important figures, though his is the only one anybody remembers.

 

1135 - Stephen of Blois becomes King of England. Yes, there was a King Stephen. It's true; check it. Though Empress Matilda disagrees.

 

1183 - Genghis Khan's second son Chagatai is born. Ooh, unlucky. His chances of carving out a place for himself in history look low.

 

1788 - Nguyễn Huệ says he is now Emperor Quang Trung of Vietnam, and what are you going to do about it, Le Dynasty? Nothing? That's what I thought.

 

1808 - Beethoven conducts a concert in Vienna made entirely of premiers of his own work. Starting the show is the premier of his Sixth Symphony, followed later on in the program by the premier of his Fifth Symphony. I've been assured that this makes sense.

 

1885 - Itō Hirobumi becomes Japan's first Prime Minister. If you're in Korea and for whatever reason like to read these entries out loud, maybe skip this one.

 

1894 - French army officer Alfred Dreyfus is convicted of treason. I guess that's the last we'll be hearing of him.

 

1944 - U.S. General Anthony McAuliffe invokes his genitals in response to a German ultimatum demanding surrender at Bastogne, Belgium.

 

1968 - Mao Zedong decrees that all educated young people have to go work in the country and be poor. Surely this is the most logical path to prosperity.

 

1974 - The three islands of Grande Comore, Anjouan and Mohéli vote to become the nation of Comoros, while a fourth island, Mayotte, says "We're happy being part of France, thanks."

 

1978 - Deng Xiaoping reverses many of Mao Zedong's policies on the grounds that they were freaking insane.

 

1990 - The Marshall Islands and The Federated States of Micronesia obtain full independence from the United States but remain in "free association". Basically it's the Commonwealth, but less British.

 

2001 - British terrorist Richard Reid becomes responsible for all Americans having to take their shoes off at airport security.

 

2010 - Homosexuals serving in the U.S. military are now allowed to ask and/or tell according to their own discretion and desires. Too bad it's now impossible to thank Obama for anything without appearing sarcastic.

 

[The Old Hack 2,448]

2 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

244 - Birth of Diocletian. He shares his birthday with three other important figures, though his is the only one anybody remembers.

Actually there were seven more, but they got even more forgotten.

2 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

1808 - Beethoven conducts a concert in Vienna made entirely of premiers of his own work. Starting the show is the premier of his Sixth Symphony, followed later on in the program by the premier of his Fifth Symphony. I've been assured that this makes sense.

It was more than that. It was fate.

2 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

2010 - Homosexuals serving in the U.S. military are now allowed to ask and/or tell according to their own discretion and desires. Too bad it's now impossible to thank Obama for anything without appearing sarcastic.

This is scandalous! Now we will have to find new scapegoats to hatemonger against! Anyone know of a likely candidate?

[Darth Fluffy 302]

21 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

On December 22 in History:

 

1968 - Mao Zedong decrees that all educated young people have to go work in the country and be poor. Surely this is the most logical path to prosperity.

 

1978 - Deng Xiaoping reverses many of Mao Zedong's policies on the grounds that they were freaking insane.

 

It is kind of telling that for being such a Hero of the Revolution up to the end of his days, he almost seems like an embarrassment to modern China.

[The Old Hack 2,448]

19 minutes ago, Darth Fluffy said:

It is kind of telling that for being such a Hero of the Revolution up to the end of his days, he almost seems like an embarrassment to modern China.

Given how badly their one child a family policy turned and bit them on their behind, they seem to have made a tradition of batshit policies that needed reversing later. Then again, that is hardly limited to China.

[Darth Fluffy 302]

1 hour ago, The Old Hack said:

Given how badly their one child a family policy turned and bit them on their behind, they seem to have made a tradition of batshit policies that needed reversing later. Then again, that is hardly limited to China.

This is true, there is no monopoly on being crazy.

[Illjwamh 98]

On December 26 in History:

 

268 - Death of Pope Dionysius. This is of course before the tradition of not having popes named after pagan gods.

 

418 - Death of Pope Zosimus. This is of course still during the tradition of having popes whose names are awesome.

 

1489 - Ferdinand and Isabella successfully Reconquist the city of Almeria from Muhammad XIII of Granada. "You'll never get away with this!" He yells. Followed by, "Shit, they will!"

 

1530 - Death of Babur, direct descendant of Timur (Tamarlane) and founder of the Mughal dyansty. That wasn't his real name; it just means "Tiger" in Persian. Probably. Some people say it's closer to "Beaver" in Russia. I bet I can guess which he preferred.

 

1776 - "Surprise!" ~The Continental Army to the Hessian garrison at Trenton. What's left of it, anyway.

 

1825 - Army officers in favor of liberalism rise up against newly crowned Tsar Nicholas I but are swiftly put down. The monarchy however uses this brush with revolution to institute sweeping reforms so this won't ever happen again. Haha, I'm just kidding; they learn nothing.

 

1898 - Marie Curie announces that she's isolated a new, radioactive element. Oh, and her husband helped, I guess.

 

1919 - Babe Ruth conjures an 85 year curse on the Boston Red Sox.

 

1963 - "I Want to Hold Your Hand" and "I Saw Her Standing There" are released in the United States, along with a flood of hormones. So many hormones.

 

1966 - The first Kwanzaa is celebrated. Just another example of the War on Christmas; people having the audacity to celebrate OTHER holidays around the same time of year.

 

1991 - The Supreme Court of the Soviet Union formally dissolves said union, which is a bit like forfeiting a baseball game after all but two of the players on your team have quit and gone home.

 

2004 - A massive earthquake in the Indian Ocean creates a tsunami that affects over a dozen countries and kills almost a quarter of a million people. I don't even believe in hell but I'm afraid I'd go there for making a joke about this one.

[Darth Fluffy 302]

2 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

On December 26 in History:

 

1530 - Death of Babur, direct descendant of Timur (Tamarlane) and founder of the Mughal dyansty. That wasn't his real name; it just means "Tiger" in Persian. Probably. Some people say it's closer to "Beaver" in Russia. I bet I can guess which he preferred.

The reboot of "Leave it to Beaver" is different than fans expected ...

 

2 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

On December 26 in History:

 

1966 - The first Kwanzaa is celebrated. Just another example of the War on Christmas; people having the audacity to celebrate OTHER holidays around the same time of year.

You mean, the Battle for Saturnalia?

https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/War_on_Christmas

https://www.snopes.com/news/2017/11/29/the-war-on-christmas/

https://www.history.com/topics/21st-century/the-war-on-christmas

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_controversies

The weird thing is, among all of this lack of substance, the first Kwanzaa is actually a knock at Christmas:

Quote

During the early years of Kwanzaa, Karenga said it was meant to be an alternative to Christmas. He believed Jesus was psychotic and Christianity was a "White" religion that Black people should shun.^[10]

I like Christmas, but mostly as a family time, rather than as a religious event. It is way more stressful than it is generally perceived to be. Kwanzaa is not a bad alternative in that regard. It focuses more on character and community, rather than crass commercialism.

 

 

 

 

 

[The Old Hack 2,448]

7 hours ago, Darth Fluffy said:

It is way more stressful than it is generally perceived to be.

I haven't really had a good Christmas in almost fifty years. I am with the Bah, Humbug club.

[Darth Fluffy 302]

7 hours ago, The Old Hack said:

I haven't really had a good Christmas in almost fifty years. I am with the Bah, Humbug club.

I have a good time, in spite of my family's best efforts to derail it.

[Illjwamh 98]

On December 27 in History:

 

527 - Construction is completed on the Hagia Sophia. May it stand as a symbol of the one unified Christian church for all eternity.

 

1512 - The Laws of Burgos are issued by the Spanish Crown, forbidding the maltreatment of indigenous peoples in the New World, and encouraging their conversion to Christianity. Um, I've noticed a problem.

 

1831 - Charles Darwin sets out on a trip on the HMS Beagle. Hurry up and get back so you can do some actual work, slacker.

 

1922 - The Japanese ship Hōshō is the world's first aircraft carrier to be designed and built for that purpose. With a head start like that, they'll have a huge advantage over Western powers in carrier warfare.

 

1929 - Joseph Stalin, in order to facilitate the collectivization of farmland, has landowning peasants (known as "kulaks") rounded up and killed (or sometimes just imprisoned). We're the Soviets! We solve problems.

 

1949 - The Netherlands recognizes the independence of Indonesia. This sounds rather magnanimous of them, until you realize there isn't really much they can do about it.

 

1978 - Spain officially becomes a democracy, thanks to the restoration of the monarchy. It makes sense in context.

 

1989 - The Romanian Revolution ends when everyone basically just decides to stop fighting. After all, the former communist leader was executed two days ago; what are we even still doing?

 

2007 - Benazir Bhutto is assassinated, despite the fact that she hasn't been Prime Minister or even Leader of the Opposition in Pakistan for like, eight years. Get with the times, political terrorists.

 

2009 - Faced with crowds protesting the recent election in the capital of Iran, authorities shoot at them. After all, can't protest if you're dead, right? This plan is foolproof.

 

2016 - Carrie Fisher becomes one with the Force, because the year that took so many from us couldn't just leave quietly without punching us in the gut one last time.

[ProfessorTomoe 1,308]

9 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

1978 - Spain officially becomes a democracy, thanks to the restoration of the monarchy. It makes sense in context.

In other news, Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.

Well, *someone* had to say it.

[Illjwamh 98]

On December 28 in History:

 

1065 - Consecration of Edward the Confessor's rebuilt church at Westminster Abbey. Just in time for his successors to be crowned in it!

 

1795 - Construction of Yonge Street begins in York, Upper Canada (now Toronto). Commonly believed to be the longest street in the world, it actually isn't, because the vast majority of what is counted toward that record is really just Highway 11, according to people who hate cool things.

 

1832 - John C. Calhoun is the first Vice President of the United States to resign. Considering the president he served under was Andrew Jackson, he probably dodged a bullet. Perhaps literally.

 

1836 - South Australia is founded, along with its capital, Adelaide (named after William IV's queen consort). Hmm, naming stuff for the queen. D'ya know, that's not a bad idea, mate. Let's just keep doing that.

 

1836 - Fifteen years after Mexico won its independence, Spain officially gives up any pretense of them ever reconquering it.

 

1922 - Birth of Stanley Martin Lieber, who will later do away with all but the first syllables of his first and last name. I think I saw him in a movie once.

 

2016 - Debbie Reynolds dies, because the universe feels that Billie Lourd is not yet suffering enough.

[The Old Hack 2,448]

1 hour ago, Illjwamh said:

1065 - Consecration of Edward the Confessor's rebuilt church at Westminster Abbey.

But did they ever do a confession of Edward the Consecrator's church?

[Illjwamh 98]

This is it! The 30th and the 31st are already done, so this is the last one. There are a couple of holes in January I need to fill in, true, but for all intents and purposes I have now completed the entire calendar. Only took six years.

On December 29 in History:

1170 – Four knights loyal to Henry II of England arrive in Canterbury to rid him of that turbulent priest.

1835 - The Cherokee cede all of their land east of the Mississippi River to the United States in the lastest treaty. "I am altering the deal; pray I don't alter it any further." ~Andrew Jackson

1845 - The U.S. annexes nine year old Republic of Texas, which of course was the plan all along.

1874 - The First Spanish Republic falls to a military coup after less than two years, and the monarchy is restored. "Not so easy, is it?" ~France

1911 - Mongolia obtains its independence from the disintegrating Qing dynasty. "Wait for us!" ~China

1934 - "You know those international treaties we signed regulating the sizes of everyone's navies? Yeah, we're not going to do that." ~Japan

1936 - Mary Tyler Moore is born. She smiles for the first time and the world is turned back on. The bigger question is: who turned it off in the first place?

1937 - The Irish Free State would like everyone to know that they're just called Ireland now; and also, you can take your Commonwealth and shove it.

1989 - Václav Havel, a writer, philosopher, and political dissident, is elected the first president of Czechoslovakia after the end of communism. He'll also be the last, but for a different reason.

1992 - Brazilian president Fernando Collor de Mello resigns in an attempt to avoid impeachment, but is impeached anyway. "You can't quit; you're fired!"

1996 - The Guatemalan Civil War ends after 36 years. Holy shit; anyone born there as far back as 1960 has known war for their entire life. Kind of puts our current problems in perspective. Doesn't make them any better; just gives some perspective.

1998 - Official Khmer Rouge statement re: 1970s genocide and 1 million+ deaths: "Sorry. Our bad."

[Darth Fluffy 302]

On 12/18/2019 at 1:08 AM, Darth Fluffy said:

< visit a church >

Anyway, it may suck. Oh, well, I guess I'll move on. Or I may find some like minded people. Jackpot.

I'll see.

it was not my cup of tea. I doubt I'll go back.

[The Old Hack 2,448]

1 hour ago, Illjwamh said:

1170 – Four knights loyal to Henry II of England arrive in Canterbury to rid him of that turbulent priest.

I am sure that will solve all his problems.

[Illjwamh 98]

It's a new decade! Which means the following things are now TEN YEARS OLD:

 

-Burj Khalifa

-The Vancouver Olympics

-Deepwater Horizon oil spill

-Vuvuzelas at the World Cup

-Instagram

-Toy Story 3

-Inception

-The Walking Dead

-Mockingjay (the book)

-Thank Me Later (Drake album)

 

TWENTY YEARS OLD:

 

-The last Peanuts strip

-PS2

-DeviantART

-Gamecube

-Gladiator

-The first X-Men movie

-Gilmore Girls

-Curb Your Enthusiasm

-Survivor

-Dora the Explorer

-Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

-A Storm of Swords

-Oops!... I Did it Again by Britney Spears

-The Sims

 

 

THIRTY YEARS OLD:

 

-Democracy in Bulgaria, Romania

-Smoking bans on airplanes

-Pale Blue Dot photo

-Namibia

-Unified Germany

-The National Cathedral

-The Gulf War

-The Channel Tunnel

-SNES

-Home Alone

-Total Recall

-The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

-Goodfellas

-Edward Scissorhands

-Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice

-Liam Hemsworth

-Emma Watson

-Margot Robbie

-Jennifer Lawrence

-Bo Burnham

-Kim Yuna

 

 

FIFTY YEARS OLD

 

-All My Children

-The Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty

-Earth Day

-Let It Be (Beatles album)

-Apollo 13 mission

-Doonesbury

-EPA

-M*A*S*H* (the movie)

-The Mary Tyler Moore Show

-Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin

-Mariah Carey

-Simon Pegg

-Melania Trump

-Tina Fey

-Matt Damon

 

ONE HUNDRED YEARS OLD

 

-ACLU

-Nazis

-The Olympic flag (and five ring symbol)

-Women's suffrage in the U.S.

-NFL

-Domestic radio sets

-Haribo candy company

[Illjwamh 98]

First of the few holes I need to fill in. Last year I didn't decide to just do every day that wasn't done until the last week of January, so there are still a few empty days left.

 

On January 7 in History:

 

1502 - Future Pope Gregory XIII is born, which we know thanks to the calendar that bears his name.

 

1558 - French troops take Calais, the last English possession on the continent. "And don't come back over here for any reason, ever!"

 

1608 - Jamestown, Virginia, established last year, is destroyed in a fire. Oh, well. Easy come, easy go. Let's head on back to England then eh, chaps?

 

1610 - Galileo sees some weird shit floating around Jupiter. Four weird shits, to be specific.

 

1785 - Jean-Pierre Blanchard and an American named John Jeffries are the first people to fly over the English Channel, from Dover to Calais. Boy were their arms tired.

 

1800 - Birth of future accidental U.S. president Millard Fillmore, the one president nobody - not even presidential scholars - knows or cares anything about.

 

1891 - Birth of Harlem Renaissance writer Zora Neale Hurston, who incidentally was also an anthropologist whose research included, among other things, Hoodoo. Proof that you can pick more than one lane and still crush it.

 

1940 - A numerically superior Soviet force is completely stomped by Finns at the Battle of Raate Road, who chase what's left of them the hell out of Finland. Soviet historians like to pretend this never happened.

 

1943 - Death of Nikola Tesla, and our last best chance at unlimited clean, free energy.

 

1959 - The U.S. recognizes Fidel Castro's government in Cuba. "But we don't have to like it."

 

1985 - Japan launches Sakigake, the first deep space probe launched by anyone other than the U.S. or the Soviet Union. Wait wait, is that even allowed? Who told other countries they can do things?

 

1989 - Death of Japanese Emperor Hirohito, who is usually associated with a different period of the twentieth century.

 

1999 - Beginning of the senate impeachment trial for U.S. president Bill Clinton. Wow, can you imagine? This has only ever happened once before; what are the odds of a president being impeached in our lifetime?

 

2015 - Two assholes shoot up the office of satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo in Paris. If their goal is to weaken French resolve, they have failed miserably.

 

[Illjwamh 98]

Filling another hole.

 

On January 8 in History:

 

871 - King Æthelred of Wessex and his Great younger brother Alfred wallop a bunch of Danes at the Battle of Ashdown. That'll teach 'em. Bet they'll never mess with England again.

 

1297 - François Grimaldi disguises himself and his men as monks and takes over the fortress on the Rock of Monaco. Guess everyone considers this legit, because his descendants still have it.

 

1642 - Death of Galileo. And let us never speak of his heresies again.

 

1746 - Bonnie Prince Charlie occupies the town of Stirling near the end of the Second Jacobite Rrising. Lol, he's still trying to win.

 

1806 - Cape Colony in South Africa is officially British now. They don't have anything against the Dutch per se; they just don't want Napoleon to have it.

 

1815 - American forces under Andrew Jackson defeat the British at New Orleans in a war that's been over for two weeks. But let's be real; even if Jackson knew that, it probably wouldn't have made any difference.

 

1828 - In the U.S., the Democratic Party is officially formed. They will run aforementioned lunatic Andrew Jackson as their presidential candidate. What a bunch of jackasses.

 

1926 - Abdul-Aziz ibn Saud is crowned King of Hejaz. Add this to what he already head, he now controls a hung chunk of Arabia. Maybe even enough to name it after his family.

 

1935 - A really cool musician is born. His name is Elvis. You probably haven't heard of him, but you should check out some of his stuff.

 

1936 - Reza Shah of Iran tells police to enforce his ban on traditional Islamic garb, authorizing them to physically and forcefully remove women's hijabs in public if necessary. Talk about the pendulum swinging the other way.

 

1942 - Stephen Hawking is born, and is immediately the smartest one in the room.

 

1964 - U.S. President El BJ declares war on poverty. Many apparently misinterpret this as a war on poor people and act accordingly.

 

1984 - The North Korean Supreme Leader's fifth grandchild, Kim Jong-un, is born. No worries; I'm sure we'll find something for him to do. A nice cushy government bureaucrat job perhaps.

[Illjwamh 98]

On January 13 in History:

 

532 - The Nika riots begin in Constantinople. Imagine if the two most powerful political parties in the country were Manchester United fans and Man City fans, and both of them were more pissed off at the government than they were at each other.

 

1847 - Alta California, at this point still part of Mexico, signs the Treaty of Cahuenga with the United States, effectively sitting out the rest of the war and going about their business. Wait, you can do that?

 

1898 - Émile Zola publicly accuses the French government of anti-Semitism over the imprisonment of Alfred Dreyfus, and in the process gives us a fun new gotcha phrase.

 

1998 - Gay Italian writer Alfredo Ormando sets himself on fire in St. Peter's Square in the Vatican near where John Paul II is addressing the crowd. The Church claims this was not an act of protest against them, while a letter from Ormando himself says it was. So I guess we'll never know for sure.

 

2018 - Hawaiians don't need any coffee this morning, as a widespread alert warning of an incoming missile attack advising everyone to seek immediate shelter also includes the phrase, "This is not a drill." False alarm. Whoopsie.

[Darth Fluffy 302]

On 1/9/2020 at 2:44 AM, Illjwamh said:

1964 - U.S. President El BJ declares war on poverty. Many apparently misinterpret this as a war on poor people and act accordingly.

I recall a Mad spoof that was in that vein.

 

[Illjwamh 98]

On January 16 in History:

 

27 BCE - Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus is granted the title of Augustus, which basically means "The majestic" or "The venerable". The fact that future generations will basically treat this as his name should tell you something.

 

378 - General General Siyaj K'ak' ("Fire Is Born") conquers Tikal for King Spearthrower Owl of Teotihuacán. Man, Mesoamerican history is so cool. Augustus who?

 

550 - The Ostrogoths under King Totila reconquer Rome back again, and the eternal tug-o-war continues.

 

929 - The Caliphate of Córdoba is established by Abd-ar-Rahman III, who's tired of just being an emir. Apparently you can do that.

 

1547 - Grand Duke Ivan IV of Muscovy is now Tsar of Russia, which is thing he made up, but nobody tell him that. This is Terrible news for anyone who is not Russian, and to be honest for a lot of people who are.

 

1605 - Miguel de Cervantes publishes part one of El ingenioso hidalgo Don Quijote de la Mancha, the world's first novel. "Am I a joke to you?" ~Murasaki Shikibu

 

1707 - Scottish Parliament okays the merger with England into Great Britain. They will come to regret this on and off.

 

1710 - Japanese emperor Higashiyama dies after a 22 year reign of doing absolutely nothing, as of course is tradition.

 

1945 - Adolf Hitler gets a change of address. He lives underground now. But don't listen to Allied propaganda; everything's gong fine.

 

1979 - Mohammad Reza Pahlavi, last Shah of Iran, flees with his family to Egypt. "Did we do thaaaaaat?" ~U.S. and U.K.

 

1980 - Birth of Lin-Manuel Miranda, honorary president of the "Make History Cool Again" club I just made up.

 

1991 - Coalition forces led by the U.S. go to war with Iraq. A quick in and out, easy peasy; this'll settle the region down for a good long while.

 

2006 - Ellen Johnson Sirleaf is elected president of Liberia, the first female head of state in all of Africa. Still waiting, America. He said, while waving a Bernie 2020 placard.