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Illjwamh

This Day In History

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On January 3rd in History:

1521 - Martin Luther is excommunicated. The older boys kicked him out of their club for pointing out their rules were stupid.

1777 - George Washington defeats Lord Cornwallis at the Battle of Princeton. Foreshadowing!

1823 - The Mexican government awards a grant of land in Texas to one Stephen F. Austin. They will come to regret this.

1861 - Delaware votes not to secede from the United States. Allegations that this was solely so they wouldn't lose their spot as "first state" are denied vigorously and with much huffing.

1868 - The Tokugawa shogunate is abolished, paving the way for the emperor of Japan to actually do things that emperors do.

1892 - J.R.R. Tolkien is born, altering the course of nerd subculture for generations.

1925 - Benito Mussolini casually announces that he is taking over Italy and forming a dictatorship, and what are you going to do about it? Nothing? Thought so.

1947 - For the first time, proceedings of the U.S. Congress are televised. For the last time, people watch them.

1959 - Alaska becomes the 49th state. The fact that no one lives in Alaska and you have to go through Canada to get there is apparently deemed irrelevant.

1961 - The United States cuts off all ties to Cuba and proceeds to give them the silent treatment for the next 54 years, because we're totally mature like that.

1977 - A tiny little startup called Apple Computers is incorporated. I doubt it'll last.

1994 - Over 7 million people become South African citizens as a result of the end of apartheid. The run on the DMV is insane.

2000 - The last original Peanuts strip is published. Those who hope it can fade away with dignity are about to be sorely disappointed.

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On Jan. 4 in History:

1642 - Charles I of England tries to have several members of Parliament arrested. There is some resistance to the idea, to say the least.

1643 - Sir Isaac Newton is born. Yes, today. Not on Christmas, because the Julian Calendar is stupid.

1649 - The remnants of Parliament (known as the "Rump" Parliament) vote to put Charles I on trial for treason. Best served cold, indeed!

1847 - Samuel Colt sells his revolver to the U.S. government, who immediately place an order for 10 million more, despite the military saying they only need around 120,000.

1853 - Solomon Northup regains his freedom after being kidnapped and forced into slavery 12 years prior. Several Academy Award Statuettes are prepared in advance.

1854 - In a remarkable coincidence, the McDonald Islands are discovered by none other than Captain William McDonald. What are the odds? Problems arise when his ship won't fit in the drive thru lane.

1865 - The New York Stock Exchange opens out of the growing need for a quick shorthand method of measuring the country's prosperity without actually talking to any people.

1889 - Feeling they've kept up the pretense long enough, the U.S. government backs out on yet another deal with Native Americans and opens up vast swaths of land in Oklahoma for settlement on a "first come, first serve" basis, to begin on April 22. Of course everyone waits patiently for that date to arrive, and everything is done entirely above-board.

1903 - Topsy the elephant is electrocuted. The execution was recorded by Thomas Edison's film company. While it is true that Edison once often electrocuted animals in attempts to discredit Nikola Tesla's AC power, that dispute is long since settled and Edison is involved now purely "for the lulz."

1958 - Sputnik 1 falls to Earth after three successful months of beeping.

1999 - Former pro wrestler Jesse Ventura is sworn is as governor of Minnesota. Americans are assured this is the silliest that U.S. politics will ever get.

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On January 5 in History:

1066 – Edward the Confessor dies without any heirs. Three rival claimants to the throne emerge. Dude, you had ONE JOB.

1477 – Duke Charles the Bold of Burgundy dies at the Battle of Nancy without any male heirs, leaving the way open for his daughter’s later marriage to spark a 500 year territorial dispute between Germany and France. DUDE. ONE JOB!

1781 – Richmond, Virginia is razed by British troops under the command of a man whose name is an American byword for traitor. Wonder how that came about.

1919 – The German Workers’ Party is established. The good news is, they’ll only last a little over a year. The bad news is, you’re not going to like their successor party.

1941 – Miyazaki Hayao is born. I wonder if the events of the time will in any way influence his later work.

1953 – Samuel Beckett premiers his play about two guys sitting around waiting for another guy who never shows up. Sounds riveting.

1978 – January Jones is born. She is named after a character from a novel, which makes her parents seem much less lazy and uncreative once you know that.

2005 – Eris, the most massive dwarf planet in the solar system, is discovered, marking the beginning of the downfall of Pluto.

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7 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

1066 – Edward the Confessor dies without any heirs. Three rival claimants to the throne emerge. Dude, you had ONE JOB.

Yes, but all that confessing can't have made it easy.

Edward: "Dear, I really don't think you are pretty."

*** SLAP *** "You get to sleep in the Royal Dog Kennel tonight!"

7 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

1477 – Duke Charles the Bold of Burgundy dies at the Battle of Nancy without any male heirs, leaving the way open for his daughter’s later marriage to spark a 500 year territorial dispute between Germany and France. DUDE. ONE JOB!

He probably annoyed his wife too much by constantly speaking in boldface.

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On January 6 in History:

1066 – Harold Godwinson is crowned King of England, largely by virtue of the fact that he is the only one of the three major claimants currently in England. He also actually speaks English, which I've heard is a plus.

1205 – Phillip of Swabia (which is in Germany) becomes King of the Romans. No Romans live within his domain.

1412 – A girl named Jehenne (Jeanne/Joan) is born in the town of Domrémy. There is no place called Arc. Is everything a lie????

1492 – The Reconquista ends as Ferdinand and Isabella enter Granada. Barring any Re-reconquista shenanigans, that should bring an end to conflict on the Iberian Peninsula forever.

1540 – Henry VIII of England marries Anne of Cleves. THIS one’s gonna last, you guys.

1690 – Joseph, King of Hungary, becomes King of the Romans. No Romans live there, either.

1839 – A massively powerful windstorm sweeps across Ireland, destroying over 20% of all houses in Dublin. The Irish are so traumatized, they can’t think of any better name for this than “The Night of the Big Wind”. No, really.

1919 – Theodore Roosevelt dies in his sleep. As Vice President Thomas Marshall observes, Death had to take him sleeping; if he’d been awake, there would have been a fight.

1984 – Kate McKinnon is born, already impersonating several other famous babies.

1995 – A terrorist plot to assassinate the Pope and blow up 11 commercial airliners is foiled when police investigate a chemical fire at the Manila apartment of the two plotters, and one of them is caught after tripping over a tree root while running away. Try to picture it without including cartoon sound effects. You can’t.

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07 January

1558 – French troops, led by Francis, Duke of Guise, take Calais, the last continental possession of England.  It would still be about two hundred fifty years, a decade with no king at all, and three royal families before the English monarchs finally stopped claiming to rule France as well.

1598 – Following the death of Tsar Feodor I, the Russian throne is seized by the Regent.  But is Boris Godunov?

1610 – Galileo Galilei makes his first observation of the four Galilean moons: Ganymede, Callisto, Io and Europa, although he is not able to distinguish the last two until the following day.  It is fascinating how these little objects appear to be circling Jupiter when they are actually in a complex pirouette around Earth.

1790 – French Revolution: A major riot breaks out in Versailles as people demand lower bread prices.  But what would Queen Marie Antoinette say if she knew the people had no bread?

1822 – First printing in Hawaii.  Which is actually a bit surprising.  Printing should be so much easier on the Big Island since the Hawaiian language only has 13 letters.

1904 – The distress signal CQD ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄is established by "Circular 57" of the British Marconi International Marine Communication Company, only to be replaced two years later by the German SOS  ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄AActually, neither call was universally accepted immediately.  American ships would simply key "HELP" and the Titanic alternated between both calls as it sank. 

1929 – In a coincidence that normally only is only found in fiction, adventure characters Tarzan and Buck Rogers make their first appearance as newspaper comics on the same day.

1931 – Guy Menzies flies the first solo non-stop trans-Tasman flight (from Australia to New Zealand) in 11 hours and 45 minutes, crash-landing on New Zealand's west coast.  The region may be known as a land down under, but does a flying record really count if the plane lands upside down?

1934 – In a coincidence that would be rejected by a responsible fiction editor, the adventure character Flash Gordon debuts as a newspaper comic on the fifth anniversary of the first appearance of Tarzan and Buck Rogers in newspaper comics.

1994 – US Ladies Figure Skating championship is won by Tonya Harding.  Enjoy it while you can, Ms Harding.  I'd say "break a leg" in anticipation of your performance in Lillehammer, but you already did.

Also, 07 January in the Gregorian Calendar is Christmas Day for congregations using the Julian Calendar.  So if you want to buy gifts for everyone else when all the stores are featuring their after-Christmas clearance sales...

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08 January

871 – Alfred the Great leads a West Saxon army to repel an invasion by Danelaw Vikings.  Additional details are withheld in an attempt to reduce Saxon violence on the internet.

1297 – François Grimaldi, disguised as a monk, leads his men to capture the fortress protecting the Rock of Monaco, establishing his family as the rulers of Monaco.  Did no one think to check if there were weapons hidden under the robes of the monks?

1790 – George Washington delivers the first State of the Union address in New York City.  Thomas Jefferson would later decide that simply sending a report to Congress which the Clerks could read into the record was sufficient.  For over a century, US Presidents of all political persuasions followed that example.  This leaves many Americans asking why Wilson decided to reinstate that piece of Parliamentary Theatre.

1815 – War of 1812: Battle of New Orleans: Andrew Jackson leads American forces in victory over the British.  So what if the war was already technically over?  It pushed Jackson into the White House and turned a history teacher's attempt to liven up a lesson into a hit record.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWkOeK5AmI8

1835 – The United States national debt is zero for the only time.  Somehow that seems Un-American.

Quite the variety of births on this date in the 20th Century...

1926 – Birth of Soupy Sales, American comedian and actor.  No need for a birthday cake.  A pie will soon be delivered.

1935 – Birth of Elvis Presley, American singer, guitarist, and actor.  Elvis has left the uterus, thankyouverymuch.

1942 – Birth of Stephen Hawking, English physicist and author.  As a newborn, he was already smarter than almost anyone else.

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6 hours ago, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

1297 – François Grimaldi, disguised as a monk, leads his men to capture the fortress protecting the Rock of Monaco, establishing his family as the rulers of Monaco.  Did no one think to check if there were weapons hidden under the robes of the monks?

Grimaldi was the only one disguised as a monk. The rest of his men were disguised as rich gamblers, race wagon drivers and nun strippers. The guards at the gate actually saw through the scheme but decided to let them pass because this was the most awesome invasion ever.

 

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On January 9 in History:

475 – Emperor Zeno is chased out of Constantinople by his mother-in-law’s brother, a general named Basiliscus, and a few other conspirators. However, as he’s somehow able to take the entire treasury with him, he’ll probably be back. Whoopsie.

681 – King Erwig of the Visigoths initiates a number of laws targeting the Jews of Spain in the Twelfth Council of Toledo, mainly that they cannot convert back to Judaism once baptised, and allowing for confiscation of Jewish property. This is the worst thing to ever happen to Spanish Jews.

1127 – Jurchen soldiers of the Jin dynasty sack the Song capital of Bianjing, abducting the emperor while they’re at it. “We are China now,” they say. What’s left of the Song flee south and set up a new government, stubbornly insisting that they are, in fact, still China. What a weird situation. Bet nothing like that will ever happen again.

1150 – Diguani and some other court officials murder Emperor Xizong of Jin so he can take the throne. I’m calling him that instead of his regnal name because his successor will later postumously demote him to a commoner. That’ll teach him.

1349 – The residents of Basel, Switzerland, despite attempts by the city fathers to stop them, round up all the Jews and burn them at the stake in order to stop the Black Death. (The children are merely forcibly converted, because come on, they’re not monsters). For some unknown reason, it does not work.

1822 – Prince Pedro of Portugal opts to stay in Brazil when the rest of his family returns home to Lisbon after the Napoleonic Wars. He just has a good feeling about it.

1908 - Simone de Beauvoir is not born a woman but will become one. I’m being told I’m only allowed to discuss her in terms of her relationship to Jean-Paul Sartre. That doesn’t seem fair.

1913 – Richard Nixon is born. No one has ever before seen an infant with such impressive jowls.

1916 – The last allied troops finally manage to escape Gallipoli. Whew. Now we’ve all learned a valuable lesson; no one will ever commit to such a ridiculously ill-conceived military expedition again.

1955 – J.K. Simmons is born. The only way the doctors can get him to stop crying is by bringing him pictures of Spider-man.

2007 – Steve Jobs unveils Apple’s latest innovation, the iPhone. Baby Boomers rejoice that they now have a quick and easy way to deride Millennials. Millennials rejoice that they now have an excuse not to pay attention to Baby Boomers.

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8 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

1955 – J.K. Simmons is born. The only way the doctors can get him to stop crying is by bringing him pictures of Spider-man.

So he cried constantly for seven and a half years, until Spider-man was created?

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On 1/2/2019 at 1:42 PM, Illjwamh said:

1920 - Isaac Asimov is born. To robots, probably.

I would have gone with "Isaac Asimov is born and immediately picks up a pen.  He will not stop writing for over 72 years."  Bu tthen, I've always appreciatee his mysteries and essays more than his robot stuff.  Black Widowers FT

And he was considered extremely conservative back then.  These days no Republicans would even talk to him.

On 1/7/2019 at 3:11 PM, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

1994 – US Ladies Figure Skating championship is won by Tonya Harding.  Enjoy it while you can, Ms Harding.  I'd say "break a leg" in anticipation of your performance in Lillehammer, but you already did.

To be fair, not only did she not do any breaking herself, it's generally agreed that she didn't know about the scheme until after the fact.  Her offense was not reporting it when she found out what they had done.

22 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

On January 9 in History:

1127 – Jurchen soldiers of the Jin dynasty sack the Song capital of Bianjing, abducting the emperor while they’re at it. “We are China now,” they say. What’s left of the Song flee south and set up a new government, stubbornly insisting that they are, in fact, still China. What a weird situation. Bet nothing like that will ever happen again.

So that's where River's name came from!  ;-)

22 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

 murder Emperor Xizong of Jin so he can take the throne.

Am I the only one who read this, and wondered how murdering someone would make him Emperor and what good it would do anyone to put a dead man on the throne?

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On 1/6/2019 at 4:31 AM, Illjwamh said:

1412 – A girl named Jehenne (Jeanne/Joan) is born in the town of Domrémy. There is no place called Arc. Is everything a lie????

Yet another post to this thread that leads to fascinating info.  I knew she was from a village called Domrémy but I hadn't realized that they didn't even use apostrophes in surnames in her days.  Her father was a tax collector, and the only thing she asked of Charles VII in thanks for putting him on the throne was that her commune be exempt from taxes, because taxes are a burden on the people.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Name_of_Joan_of_Arc

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On January 10 in history:

49 BCE - In what some have called his "Crossing the Rubicon" moment, Julius Caesar rolls a die or something and marches on Rome. #YOLO

9 – Wang Mang declares an end to the Han dynasty and the beginning of his own, the Xin. Surely it will last for centuries.

SECRET BONUS ROUND: DEAD POPES!

314 – Miltiades *DING*

681 – Agatho *DING*

1276 – Gregory X *DING*

END OF BONUS ROUND

1776 - American Patriot Thomas Paine publishes "Common Sense", a pamphlet named for a trait his countrymen to this day purport to possess in abundance but in actuality sorely lack.

1861- Florida secedes from the United States, which doesn't make any sense to me because they're still part of it today, and surely no one would have been fool enough to let them back in?

1862 – Samuel Colt manages to cheat Irony, but not Death, as he succumbs to gout.

1870 - Standard Oil is incorporated by John D. Rockefeller and begins its campaign to consume all that humanity hath wrought - a banner which will later be picked up in earnest by the Disney corporation.

1920 - The Treaty of Versailles officially ends the Great War, just fourteen months after people have stopped killing each other. The United States, one of the key architects of the treaty and its provisions, does not sign.

1990 - Time Inc. and Warner Communications merge into Time Warner in a desperate but futile attempt to hold back the ravenous tide of Disney.

2012 - 30 people are killed and 78 wounded in a bombing in Pakistan.

2013 - Over 100 people are killed and 270 injured in a bombing in Pakistan.

2015 - A massive traffic accident on a highway in Pakistan kills at least 62 people.

2016 - David Bowie passes away, in what is not recognized at the time as the ominous portent of things to come that it truly is.

2016 again - Literally everybody in Pakistan freaks the hell out.

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1 hour ago, CritterKeeper said:

To be fair, not only did she not do any breaking herself, it's generally agreed that she didn't know about the scheme until after the fact.  Her offense was not reporting it when she found out what they had done.

Far too many pop culture renditions from that period portray Harding as having perpetuated the assault herself, striking Kerrigan with a "The Club" brand automobile steering wheel lock.

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8 hours ago, ijuin said:

Far too many pop culture renditions from that period portray Harding as having perpetuated the assault herself, striking Kerrigan with a "The Club" brand automobile steering wheel lock.

This one sticks out for me (second verse in):

 

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This contains my favorite joke I've ever written for one of these. See if you can spot it.

On January 11 in History:

705 – Pope John. Vi dies, missing the bonus round by a day.

1158 - Vladislaus II of Bohemia becomes Vladislaus I of Bohemia. I swear this makes sense.

1755 – Alexander Hamilton is born. Tickets for the musical are already sold out.

1787 – Two moons of Uranus, Oberon and Titania, are discovered by William Herschel. When Uranus moons Titania and Oberon, its Bottom looks like an ass.

1815 – John A. Macdonald is born. Canadians know who George Washington is; you have no excuse.

1907 – In an astonishing example of nominal determinism, future French prime minister Pierre Mendès France is born. Imagine how awkward it would be if his family had stayed in Portugal.

1935 – Amelia Earhardt is the first person to fly solo from Hawaii to California. No word on the in-flight movie, but my money’s on “Around the World in 80 Days”, “Land of the Lost”, or “Gone Girl.”

1964 – The U.S. Surgeon General publishes a report that smoking may be hazardous to people’s health. In related news, the head of the Geological Survey concludes that recreational lava fights may cause burns.

1972 – The citizens of East Pakistan rename their country to what everybody’s already calling it anyway.

1973 – Major League Baseball decides it’s all right that if American League pitchers suck too much at hitting, old guys who suck to much at fielding can take their place.

1994 – Helmut Poppendick dies. Yeah, yeah, get it out of your system. Don’t feel bad for laughing at him though. Dude was a Nazi doctor; fuck ‘im.

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Society insists that the puns and innuendo that appeal to people with prepubescent emotional maturity are not appropriate for serious discussion.

Unless, of course, you happen to be a Historian.

In that case, make sure your audience knows you take no pleasure in the puns and innuendo.  You only point this out to show how incredibly immature people were in the past.*

 

*"The Past" includes that time so many seconds ago when the lesson was written before it was posted.

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9 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

This contains my favorite joke I've ever written for one of these. See if you can spot it.

1787 – Two moons of Uranus, Oberon and Titania, are discovered by William Herschel. When Uranus moons Titania and Oberon, its Bottom looks like an ass.

Is it this one?  'Cos that's definitely my favorite!

9 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

1994 – Helmut Poppendick dies. Yeah, yeah, get it out of your system.

I may have mentioned here before, for many years on the internet newsgroups I frequented, there was a gentleman by the name of Brian Woodcock, whose signature file at the end of his messages read, "Yes, splinterlips, that *is* my real name!"

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1 hour ago, CritterKeeper said:

Is it this one?  'Cos that's definitely my favorite!

That is indeed the one. It isn't every day I get to make an astronomy/Shakespeare joke wrapped in a double pun.

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On January 12 in History:

1528 – Gustav I is crowned King of Sweden, a job he’s held for the last four and a half years. Better late than never.

1616 – The city of Belém is founded, a gateway to the Amazon. A New Orleans of South America, you might say. You might if you’re a time traveler from 102 years in the future, that is.

1808 – The plan to save St Mary's Church, Reculver in Kent from coastal erosion is scrapped in favor of tearing it down. The English will destroy their 1100 year old historical buildings themselves before they let the bloody ocean do it, by thunder!

1908 – A long-distance radio message is sent from the Eiffel Tower, the first time said structure had ever been useful for anything. Just in time, too. It was scheduled for dismantling next year, but the city decided that since it’s now pulling its weight, it can stay. It’s still ugly, though.

1915 – The U.S. House of Representatives rejects a proposal that would have required states to allow women to vote. “What, like people? Don’t be ridiculous.”

1916 – Two German pilots, Oswald Boelcke and Max Immelmann are awarded the Pour le Mérite, the highest military honor in Imperial Germany, as the first two fighter aces ever, with eight aerial victories apiece (and counting). “Halte mein Bier,” says Manfred von Richthofen.

1930 – Tim Horton is born, and Canada is on its way to truly calling itself Canada at last.

1932 – Hattie Caraway, through a special election, is the first woman elected to the U.S. Senate. She’s from...Arkansas? Wow, really? Wouldn’t have called that. Good show down there.

1951 – The infant Rush Limbaugh is harvested from a bulbous, pulsating, putrid pustule on a demon infested stalk of corn.

1962 – With Operation Chopper, the U.S. military goes all in on the Vietnam War. Shouldn’t take long. We’ll be in and out before you know it.

1976 – Agatha Christie dies of “natural causes”, which is just what somebody wants you to think.

1991 – Congress approves U.S. military acttion against Iraq in Kuwait. We’ll be in and out before you know it. And we’ll never have to go back.

2010 – An earthquake in Haiti kills over 100,000 people and all but destroys the capital city of Port-au-Prince. Lots of people are going to want to help, but we need to be careful to avoid a huge clusterfuck that’s just going to make things wor...oh. Well, once we get it sorted out, we should be all right. No need for this to take like, ten years or anyth...oh.

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15 hours ago, CritterKeeper said:

Is it this one?  'Cos that's definitely my favorite!

I may have mentioned here before, for many years on the internet newsgroups I frequented, there was a gentleman by the name of Brian Woodcock, whose signature file at the end of his messages read, "Yes, splinterlips, that *is* my real name!"

My parents actually bought their house through a real estate agent named Richard Head. He must have been teased so much as a kid.

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13 January

532 – Nika riots in Constantinople.  Fans of the Blue and Green Chariot Racing teams destroy half the city of Constantinople.  Hooligans in Britain seem so timid in comparison.

1404The Act of Multipliers is passed by the English Parliament forbidding alchemists to use their knowledge to create precious metals (it was feared that if any alchemist should succeed it would bring ruin upon the state).  So that's why I can't find anyone who will change my lead to gold.  It isn't because it breaks the laws of nature.  It just breaks the laws.

1547 – Henry Howard, Earl of Surrey, first cousin of both Queen Anne Boleyn and Queen Catherine Howard (second and fifth wives of King Henry VIII) is sentenced to death by said King. Or, as Mr VIII calls it, Thursday.  

1808 – Birth of Salmon P. Chase, American jurist and politician, 6th Chief Justice of the United States (d. 1873).  I know it sounds fishy, but it's true.  You'll find his portrait on the $10,000 gold certificate bill in your wallet.

1864 – Death of Stephen Foster, American composer and songwriter (b. 1826).  The racist nature of his songs can not be overlooked.  But could anyone else cause official highway signs to be marked in musical notation?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OPkOW243pE

1879 – In Mozart Gardens Brooklyn Ada Anderson completed a great feat of pedestrianism (precursor to modern race walking) - 2700 quarter miles in 2700 quarter hours, earning her $8000.  That's over $11.85/hour walking for a month.  

1888 – The National Geographic Society is founded in Washington, D.C.  Because basements and attics are not yet cluttered with enough old magazines.

1935 – A plebiscite in Saarland shows that 90.3% of those voting wish to join Nazi Germany.  If you weren't paying attention, the people living in Saarland, which had been under British and French occupation since the end of WWI, voted overwhelmingly to be annexed by the Nazis rather than continue under the occupation.  If the Allied powers ever find themselves in this situation again, they really need to do something differently.

1953 – An article appears in Pravda accusing some of the most prestigious and prominent doctors, mostly Jews, in the Soviet Union of taking part in a vast plot to poison members of the top Soviet political and military leadership.  Following Stalin's unexpected death it is discovered that this was a lie, created or exploited by Stalin, to justify a new round of purges in the USSR.  No one was surprised.

2002 – Fox has free reign in Washington.  A wild fox wanders into the United States Supreme Court Building and evades capture for more than a day despite being spotted by a police officer and observed on video cameras.

2018 – A false emergency alert warning of an impending missile strike in Hawaii caused widespread panic in the state.  Next time, listen to the entire message from the boss before hitting the big red button.

Edited by Pharaoh RutinTutin
Spelling

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9 hours ago, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

532 – Nika riots in Constantinople.  Fans of the Blue and Green Chariot Racing teams destroy half the city of Constantinople.  Hooligans in Britain seem so timid in comparison.

Another one I knew about from being a sci-fi fan, in this case an episode of The Tomorrow People (the real one, not that CW travesty).

Quote

1404The Act of Multipliers is passed by the English Parliament forbidding alchemists to use their knowledge to create precious metals (it was feared that if any alchemist should succeed it would bring ruin upon the state).  So that's why I can't find anyone who will change my lead to gold.  It isn't because it breaks the laws of nature.  It just breaks the laws.

The more recent equivalent being a supposed law that ordinary citizens are not allowed to communicate with extraterrestrials.  Not actually a real law, just a very loose misinterpretation of one.

Quote

1547 – Henry Howard, Earl of Surrey, first cousin of both Queen Anne Boleyn and Queen Catherine Howard (second and fifth wives of King Henry VIII) is sentenced to death by said King. Or, as Mr VIII calls it, Thursday.  

Correct!.  (By the Gregorian calendar it would be Monday, but that wasn't introduced until 1582.)

Quote

2002 – Fox has free reign in Washington.  A wild fox wanders into the United States Supreme Court Building and evades capture for more than a day despite being spotted by a police officer and observed on video cameras.

A fw years ago in Arlington Heights, IL, a bat, which turned out to be rabid to boot, got into the the town hall, and wound up of all places in the crime lab.

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4 hours ago, CritterKeeper said:

A fw years ago in Arlington Heights, IL, a bat, which turned out to be rabid to boot, got into the the town hall, and wound up of all places in the crime lab.

Back when I worked at 3D Realms, a bird got into our offices. Yours truly captured said bird with the aid of the ceiling and a cardboard box. We took it outside and let it go.

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