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Illjwamh

This Day In History

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22 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

2007 - Some rookie senator from Illinois whom almost nobody has ever heard of announces he's running for president. He's also black, in a country that's never had a black president. This is so obscure, I don't even know why I'm putting it on here.

I remember him. He was surrounded by scandals. Surely the most scandal haunted president of all time.

He brought a locker room atmosphere to the Oval Office. A blemish on its reputation it may never live down. I bet he also used locker room talk, which is so unforgivable that he should have been impeached for it.

Then it got worse.

See? He was so unbelievably unpresidential. Surely the United States will never see a president who is more unprofessional and undisciplined than that.

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On February 11 in History:

660 BCE - If translation from ancient legend to a traditional calendar to a traditional Western calendar to a modern Western calendar can be believed, Emperor Jimmu founds Japan. The same legends say he's descended from gods; make of that what you will.

55 - Britannicus, heir to Roman emperor Claudius, dies mysteriously. Good thing Nero is still alive to carry on the succession; that could have been messy.

1534 - Henry VIII isn't just in charge of all England now. He's also the head of the church, too. A guy named Octavius once did something similar.

1790 - The Religious Society of Friends, a.k.a. the Quakers, ask the U.S. government to abolish slavery. Talk about progressive.

1812 - The governor of Massachusetts is accused of drawing up electoral districts in ridiculous ways so as to benefit his own party. The districts are said to look like salamanders slithering around on maps. His name was Elbridge Gerry, and his one wish is that this tactic will not become his greatest legacy.

1855 - Tewodros II is crowned emperor of Ethiopia. His plan is to round up all these disparate tribal regions together into Ethiopia again. In other words, if they're going to call him emperor, he actually wants to be emperor.

1929 - Mussolini officially agrees to let the Vatican be their own country. He'd better get used to the feeling of giving up territory.

1953 - Jeb Bush is born! ...Please clap.

1971 - 87 countries, including the Big Three, agree to ban nukes on the ocean floor in international waters. We don't know if Godzilla is real or not, but why push our luck?

1979 - The Iranian monarchy is overthrown in favor of a totalitarian theocracy. Turkeys voting for Christmas.

1990 - Nelson Mandela is released from prison after 27 years as a political prisoner. Sadly, he's getting old, and there's not much left for him to do with his life.

1999 - Pluto crosses Neptune's orbit again, once more becoming the ninth planet. This vindicates everyone who argued against changing the models of the Solar System; all nine planets will remain in this order for the next 228 years. No need to change anything.

2001 - A whole bunch of people hoping to see nude photos of Anna Kournikova are about to be sorely disappointed.

2006 - Dick Cheney becomes the second sitting U.S. vice president to shoot a man.

2011 - Hosni Mubarak resigns as president. Freedom and democracy have come to Egypt at last!

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5 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

2006 - Dick Cheney becomes the second sitting U.S. vice president to shoot a man.

1.  At least, this is only the second time anyone has said anything about it.

2.  This one probably won't become a Broadway Musical.

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Just now, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

2.  This one probably won't become a Broadway Musical.

No, but it does become a feature film starring Christian Bale as Dick Cheney.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6266538/

It's listed as "Biography/Comedy/Drama" so I would suspect that there could be mention of the shooting.

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On February 12 in history:

41 - Britannicus, son of Emperor Claudius, is born. If I ever get around to doing yesterday, you'll know why I put this on here.

881 - Charles the Fat is crowned Holy Roman Emperor. Charles was a popular name in his family, and he had some rather famous ancestors, dubbed "the Hammer" and "the Magnificent". When it came time to differentiate ol' Chuck the third here, it would have been easy enough to just go by his number, but instead someone decided they needed to be more specific. "Oh yeah, the fat one."

1429 - During the Hundred Years' War, on the outskirts of a town just north of Orléans, a great battle (The Battle of the Herrings) would take place between English and French forces over several barrels of fish. And probably some other supplies too, I guess.

1689 - The British Parliament decides that since James II ran away to France like a sissy, he doesn't get to be king anymore. And there was much rejoicing.

1809 - Charles Darwin is born, and yet for some reason there are still monkeys. Great thinkers the world over are still trying to work that one out.

1809 again - Abraham Lincoln is also born. His connection to monkeys remains unclear.

1909 - The NAACP is founded, with the goal of making 21st century white people feel awkward at using the phrase "colored people".

1924 - Rhapsody in Blue premiers to mixed reviews. Though history and music lovers alike would later vindicate him, Gershwin is discouraged and scraps plans for follow-up rhapsodies in Violet, Indigo, and Amaranth.

1963 - The Gateway Arch begins construction in St. Louis as a result of citizens clamoring for a gigantic metal structure that serves no purpose. "All the cool cities have them."

1994 - At the National Gallery of Norway, four thieves break in and steal Edvard Munch's painting "The Scream". The painting, though terrified, is ironically unable to call for help.

1999 - The United States Senate decides that getting a blow job and lying about it is a pretty stupid reason to remove a sitting president.

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On February 13 in History:

1462 - The Treaty of Westminster allows for a couple of Scottish lords to rule Scotland under the English crown in the even that England conquers Scotland. This is gonna be super awkward in a couple of years when the two crowns make an alliance.

1542 - Henry VIII's fifth wife, Catherine Howard, is executed for adultery. It's not as if she didn't know the risks. Either something was misinterpreted, or Culpeper's dick was amazing.

1660 - Charles X of Sweden dies. The regents for his underage son jump on this fabulous opportunity to get out of this war they've been stuck in for the last five years.

1689 - William and Mary are named co-monarchs of England and Scotland, despite "co-monarch" not making any sense. Wait for it...

1692 - The Earl of Argyll's Regiment of Foot, after availing themselves of the hospitality of the MacDonalds of Glencoe, proceed to murder them all (nearly 80 in total) for their failure to pledge their allegiance to William and Mary. The Rains of Castamere plays in the background.

1913 - With the collapse of the Qing dynasty, the 13th Dalai Lama is able to proclaim Tibet's independence. Free from China at last!

1945 - RAF bombers are sent to Dresden with the express orders to "bomb the shit out of it."

2007 - Ma Ying-jeou resigns as Kuomintang party chairman after being indicted for embezzlement while he was mayor or Taipei. Oh, also, he'd like you all to know he'll be running for president next year. Yeah, that checks out.

2016 - Antonin Scalia dies This means Obama will have a chance major lasting impact on the Supreme Court.

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On February 14 in History:

842 – In Strasbourg, Charles the Bald and Louis the German, kings of West and East Francia (guess which rules which!) swear to have each other's backs against their big brother Lothair, king of Middle Francia. Each one swears in the langauge of the other's kingdom, just to make sure there's no confusion.

1349 – In Strasbourg, hundreds of Jews are burned alive by mobs and the rest driven out on the assumption that they are responsible for the Black Death and this will make it stop. It does not.

1400 – Deposed king of England Richard II dies in prison. New king Henry IV hadn't wanted to order him murdered, but he may have forgotten to order him fed.

1405 – Timur, a.k.a. Tamarlane, dies, to the immense reliefe of everyone from the Levant to the Indus River valley (and everyone who's ever played Europa Universalis). But he left a surprise...

1483 – Babur, founder of the Mughal Empire, is born. A direct descendant of Timur and a distant descendant of Genghis Khan, it shouldn't come as a surprise what he'll decide to do with his life.

1502 - The king and queen of Spain order all Muslims to either convert or get out. Just until they can figure out what the hell is going on.

1779 - English explorer James Cook is killed by a band of native Hawaiians. Totally overreacting. He was only trying to kidnap their king. Way out of line.

1818 - The chosen birthdate of Frederick Douglass. He got to choose because his actual birth was never officially recorded, being born into slavery and all. But his luck would eventually turn around; these days he's being recognized more and more.

1849 - U.S. President James K. Polk gets his picture taken. He is the first president to do so. This is among his greatest accomplishments.

1879 – The Chilean navy occupies the Bolivian port town of Antofagasta, kicking off the Pacific War. Haha, "Bolivian port town."

1929 – Seven people are murdered in Chicago, and by a strange coincidence six of them belong to a rival gang of Al Capone. Get me his tax returns; he's going down for this.

1989 - James Bond dies. A zoologist and ornithologist of some renown, he was once described by British novelist Ian Fleming as having "as ordinary [a name] as possible".

1989 again - Ruhollah Khomeini, the actual leader of a real country, encourages people to murder Salmon Rushdie because Rushdie wrote a book he didn't like.

1990 - Voyager 1 takes the "Pale Blue Dot" photograph, initiating a chain of events that will eventually lead to me posting the same Carl Sagan video every year on Earth Day.

2005 - YouTube is launched, as phase one of the cats' diabolical scheme to overtake all of human society.

2018 – A bunch of kids whose names will be in history books someday witness 17 of their friends and peers being shot to death at their school in the only developed country on Earth where this routinely happens, and decide that's some bullshit.

 

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2 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

2005 - YouTube is launched, as phase one of the cats' diabolical scheme to overtake all of human society.

1 hour ago, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

Almost correct.

But this was far from "Phase One"

Gee, and with all that's been going on lately with it, I was thinking that Youtube had gone to the dogs.

 

 

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On February 15 in History:

590 - Khosrau II becomes King of Sassanid Persia. Nicknamed "The Victorious", his will be yet another great reign in the long tradition of Zoroastrian rulers. Yep, nothing's ever gonna bring these folks down.

706 - Recently restored Byzantine emperor Justinian II publicly executes the guy who deposed him, as well as the guy who later deposed that guy before ultimately being deposed by Justinian II. He will rule for another five years before eventually being deposed and executed.

1564 - Galileo is born. On the same day, the Earth and the Sun trade places just to fuck with everyone, and to see how long it will take for anyone to notice.

1764 - St. Louis is founded. Most people are aware that the city later hosts a very famous World's Fair. What may surprise people is that the city was actually founded by Spain. As they say, nobody expects a Spanish Exposition.

1898 - The USS Maine explodes and sinks in Havana Harbor, Cuba. The U.S. decides this is as good an excuse as any to steal some land from Spain and then not do anything with it.

1965 - Canada adopts its new symbol of national sovereignty and strength: a leaf. This is due to the average Canadian's propensity for avoiding conflict, preferring instead to dry up and blow away.

1971 - Opting instead for something that makes sense and the rest of the world can understand, the British stop using Wizard money.

2003 - Occurring in over 600 cities around the world and with between 8 million and 30 million participants, the largest peace demonstration in history's protest against the Iraq war is entirely successful in getting people out of the house for a few hours.

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1 hour ago, Illjwamh said:
1764 - St. Louis is founded. Most people are aware that the city later hosts a very famous World's Fair. What may surprise people is that the city was actually founded by Spain. As they say, nobody expects a Spanish Exposition.

Given the name, a lot of people probably assume that it was the French who founded it, especially since the entire Mississippi had been claimed by France and only fell under Spanish rule after France's defeat in the Seven Years' War.

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9 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

This is due to the average Canadian's propensity for avoiding conflict, preferring instead to dry up and blow away.

We prefer to handle our conflicts in an area made of ice thankyouverymuch, now drop your gloves or prepare to be jersey'd. ;)

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On February 16 in History:

1270 - The Battle on the Ice is not, sadly, a highly anticipated hockey match, but rather another victory of the Grand Duchy of Lithuania over the crusading Livonian Order. "No matter how many times we tell them we're not interested in this Jesus thing or whatever, they keep on coming back."

1471 - Krishnadevaraya, future emperor of the Vijayanagara Empire, is born. Try to say that one time at normal speed.

1643 - John Sharp, future Archbishop of York, is born. There's nothing particularly special about him; I just wanted an easy one after Krishnadevaraya.

1796 - The British complete their invastion of Ceylon (Sri Lanka) with the takeover of Colombo. The city, not the detective.

1899 - Iceland establishes its first football club, Knattspyrnufélag Reykjavíkur. They're really hard to cheer for.

1918 - Lithuania declares itself independent. Free of Russian influence at last, they are never going back, you hear?

1923 - Tutankhamun's 3300 year nap is rudely interrupted by one Howard Carter, who barges in like he owns the place.

1936 - Elections in Spain bring the Popular Front, a coalition of various left-wing organizations meant to counter the growing influence of right-wing fascism, to power. It's good that even when people disagree, the strength of our republican institutions can still allow for a peaceful shift in power.

1959 - Fidel Castro becomes Premier of Cuba. No more dictators for this proud nation!

2005 - The Kyoto Protocol comes into effect. Maybe now we'll be able to start getting climate change under control!

2005 again - Beginning what will become the darkest time in Canadian history, the NHL cancels the remainder of its regular season and the playoffs.

2006 - The U.S. Army decommissions the last Mobile Army Service Hospital. No word on where Hawkeye and the others will be reassigned.

2016 - Boutros Boutros-Ghali is the latest to fall prey to the Year All the Famous People Died.

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On 2/15/2019 at 5:11 AM, Illjwamh said:

As they say, nobody expects a Spanish Exposition.

 

Nobody expects the Spammish Repetition!  Spam spam spam spam, spammity spam.....

On 2/15/2019 at 5:11 AM, Illjwamh said:

1971 - Opting instead for something that makes sense and the rest of the world can understand, the British stop using Wizard money.

So the Doctor's granddaughter was less than eight years ahead of herself when she got confused about how many shillings in a pound, way back in the pilot, "An Unearthly Child".

 

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If you remember that the ratios are 12 and 20, and also the first line of a certain nursery rhyme, you should be able to figure out the number of pence in a shilling.

"Sing a song of sixpence..." - six is not a commonly-used fraction of 20; it would make more sense for sixpence to be half a shilling, so there are 12 pence in the shilling - and thus 20 shillings to the pound.

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2 hours ago, Don Edwards said:

If you remember that the ratios are 12 and 20, and also the first line of a certain nursery rhyme, you should be able to figure out the number of pence in a shilling.

 

  Hide contents

"Sing a song of sixpence..." - six is not a commonly-used fraction of 20; it would make more sense for sixpence to be half a shilling, so there are 12 pence in the shilling - and thus 20 shillings to the pound.

 

 

Yes, but let's not forget the other denominations.

- A halfpennny, or ha'penny, is perhaps self-explanitory

- Four farthings to a penny

- Tuppence and Thruppence in addition to Sixpence

- A Florin is two Shillings

-A Crown is Five Shillings

-A Half-Crown is 2 and Sixpence

-And a Guinea is 21 Shillings, made of gold instead of silver

 

It's all so logical!

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On February 17 in History:

624 - Birth of Wu Zetian, the most powerful woman in Chinese history. The middle kingdom has never seen her like before or since, though heaven knows Cixi tried to make a run for it.

1500 - King Johann of the Kalmar Union and his brother/co-Duke of Schleswig-Holstein, Friedrich, attempt to subdue the Peasants' Republic of Dithmarschen at the Battle of Hemmingstedt. They key word here is "attempt".

1673 - Molière dies. But does he really, or is he just imagining it?

1753 - The last day in February for Sweden, whose turn it is to switch to Team Gregorian. Team Julian is not faring so well these days.

1801 - The U.S. House of Representatives breaks the electoral tie between Thomas Jefferson and Aaron Burr, meaning we were THIS CLOSE to having a sitting president kill a man in an illegal duel.

1863 - A group of Geneva citizens found an international organization for tending to the wounded. They adopt as their symbol a red cross so that they can be easily identified. Now all they need is a name.

1909 - Geronimo dies, presumably from jumping out of an airplane.

1919 - The Ukrainian People's Republic asks The U.K., France, and the U.S. for help fighting the Bolsheviks. We're awful busy, but I'm sure they'll be fine.

1995 - The brief Cenepa War between Ecuador and Peru ends when the U.N. says, "You kids better stop fighting; we don't want to have to come over there."

2008 - Kosovo declares independence from Serbia. At this rate, even Serbia is going to end up declaring independence from Serbia.

2011 - Libyans decide they've had enough of Muammar Gaddafi's bullshit and start protesting. Shit, everybody else is doing it, why not us?

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On February 18 in History:

259 BCE - Qin Shi Huang, the first Emperor of China, is born. According to the calendar which he later establishes, nothing happened before this.

1332 - Emperor Amde Tsiyon of Ethiopia decides Muslims need to GTFO.

1478 - Edward IV's brother George is executed for treason due to supporting the Lancastrians (despite being of the House of York himself). Not the brightest torch on the wall.

1516 - Mary I of England is born. Her father's disappointment at her lack of a penis has...shall we say...far-reaching consequences.

1530 - Uesugi Kenshin, one of Japan's all-time badasses, is born. I suspect all these great men existed at the same time purely to balance each other out.

1791 - The independent state of Vermont is allowed to join the cool kids' club. ...In a couple of weeks.

1861 - Victor Emmanuel II of Piedmont, Savoy, and Sardinia decides to dispense with the pretense and just call himself the King of Italy already.

1865 - General William T. Sherman and his men do what they do best and set the South Carolina state house on fire, along with most of the rest of Columbia.

1885 - The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is published. Making everyone feel awkward in English classes for 134 years!

1930 - Clyde Tombaugh discovers Pluto, and rather hastily declares it the ninth planet. He sure has egg on his face now, eh?

1965 - The Gambia becomes independent of the United Kingdom, but chooses to remain dependent on the definite article.

1967 - Now J. Robert Oppenheimer is become Death.

2003 - An arsonist sets fire to a subway train in Daegu, South Korea, killing almost 200 people. Had this happened in New York, his accelerants would have been inert long before he would have been able to board a train.

2014 - Maria Franziska, third oldest and last of the original seven von Trapp children, leaves and heaves a sigh and says goodbye. She was nearly 100 years old.

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9 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

On February 18 in History:

259 BCE - Qin Shi Huang, the first Emperor of China, is born. According to the calendar which he later establishes, nothing happened before this.

How silly.  4004 BC is a lot earlier than that!

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On February 19 in History:

356 - Emperor Constantius II closes all pagan temples in the Roman Empire. Jupiter responds, "You can't fire us; we quit!"

1473 - Nicolaus Copernicus is born, and because of him, we know how many time the Earth has gone around the Sun since then.

1600 - The volcano Huaynaputina in Peru attempts to blow everyone to hell. It is the largest South American eruption in recorded history. That just means it succeeded in killing everyone who may have written about it before.

1674 - The Treaty of Westminster ends the Third Anglo-Dutch war. Among other things, the colony of New Amsterdam is ceded to England. Gonna have to do something about that name, though.

1807 - Former Vice President Aaron Burr is arrested, though not, as you might expect, for shooting Alexander Hamilton to death. He is arrested for treason on the ground that he allegedly intended to take 40,000 acres in Texas for himself, possibly conquer parts of Mexico, and maybe set up an independent nation in the middle of North America. This will negatively impact his political career.

1913 - Due to a convoluted series of shenanigans involving a coup and attempts to make it look legitimate, Pedro Lascuráin is president of Mexico for 45 minutes. And you thought you were special, William Henry Harrison.

1942 - Franklin Roosevelt orders Japanese-Americans relocated to internment camps. As long as the enemy we're fighting doesn't do anything chillingly similar, everything should be all right. Boy, would that be embarrassing.

1952 - Murakami Ryū is born, in the center of a Venn diagram labeled "the only Japanese authors I know I've heard of" and "books I know I should read but haven't."

1976 - President Gerald Ford says, "Hey about that Japanese internment thing; stop doing that."

2004 - Millie Bobby Brown is born, the eleventh of...oh shit, I've said too much.

2016 - Death of Harper Lee. No mockingbirds are suspected to be involved.

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33 minutes ago, Illjwamh said:

1674 - The Treaty of Westminster ends the Third Anglo-Dutch war. Among other things, the colony of New Amsterdam is ceded to England. Gonna have to do something about that name, though.

Why they changed it?  I can't say.

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1 hour ago, Illjwamh said:
 

1913 - Due to a convoluted series of shenanigans involving a coup and attempts to make it look legitimate, Pedro Lascuráin is president of Mexico for 45 minutes. And you thought you were special, William Henry Harrison.

What was special about Harrison is that his reign was both short and due to infection that began AFTER his inauguration.

45 minutes ago, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

Why they changed it?  I can't say.

People just liked it better that way.

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