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The Old Hack

Things that make you sad.

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2 hours ago, ProfessorTomoe said:

To say that I was shocked would be a massive understatement. Absolutely stunned might be closer. I really don't have the words to describe how I feel.

I am very, very sorry.

Two days ago, my wife's best friend from college passed away from cancer. She is devastated and is still processing the whole thing. I know precisely how hard this is from my own loss last year. And the glory of the world is less than what it was...

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On 7/1/2017 at 8:18 AM, ProfessorTomoe said:

I He died in 2004, cause not given, at age 41. I verified that it was him by the family listed for him.

To say that I was shocked would be a massive understatement. Absolutely stunned might be closer. I really don't have the words to describe how I feel.

Even though it's been years for them, a letter from you to his family would be a nice gesture, if/when you're up to it.  Tell them how much his friendship meant to you and how many fond memories you have of him.  Having lost my grandparents years ago, and my father earlier this year, I know I would appreciate such a letter, no matter how long after the fact.  It's always good to know someone else loved someone you still love and miss.  And I suspect writing it will help you, too.   *hugs*

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I've heard two different popular songs lately that talk about drinking hard liquor at the age of fifteen, in a nostalgic manner.

It makes me sad that the writers and their friends had nothing better to do at fifteen than waste time getting drunk.  That they thought so little of their futures and opportunities that they already sought escape in alcohol as a regular thing.  And that their lives right now are sad enough that they think back on those days as the good old days.

 

Also, we euthanized a dog who's been a patient if ours for many years, through many health problems.  When she was younger, she would run into the office with such enthusiasm, wagging and happy to see her friends.  When she became diabetic, she didn't like the shots and her owner had to put a muzzle on her begore giving them for a while, until she chilled out about them.  She was never a completely easy to handle patient, but she was still a sweetheart the rest of the time, and boarded with us a fair bit.  Sometimes the bratty ones are all the more endearing for it.

She's finally basically gone senile, as well as blind, and a couple of days ago she bit her owner badly in the hand.  Her owner already has fingers twisted from arthritis, so one hand being almost unusable is an extra blow.  We agreed that Little Miss wasn't really Little Miss any more, that she's not happy and not getting much out of life.  I know how hard this must be on her owner, how heartbreaking a decision it is, no matter how obviously right a decision it is.

 

Worst of all, since she had bitten her owner, and hadn't completed a ten day quarantine to prove she wasn't rabid, we had to submit her head to be tested -- the only way to do that is to examine the brain under the microscope.  Guess how I got to spend my lunch break?

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18 hours ago, CritterKeeper said:

It makes me sad that the writers and their friends had nothing better to do at fifteen than waste time getting drunk.  That they thought so little of their futures and opportunities that they already sought escape in alcohol as a regular thing.  And that their lives right now are sad enough that they think back on those days as the good old days.

I'm not entirely sure that when they were 15 they felt the need to drink as a way to escape life. I mean I guess in some circumstances maybe, like a parent was an alcholic and they picked up the habit. But from my experience underaged drinking was done for the same reasons teens picked up smoking or drugs, the whole "it's what the cool kids are doing" or "my parents said no but I'm going to do it anyway". Mostly though I think it boils down to kids seeing adults drinking and laughing and such and wanting to do it as well, but they don't always see the results of too much drinking or understand the kinds of personality shifts that can happen, happy drunk vs angry drunk, etc.

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9 hours ago, Scotty said:

I'm not entirely sure that when they were 15 they felt the need to drink as a way to escape life. I mean I guess in some circumstances maybe, like a parent was an alcholic and they picked up the habit. But from my experience underaged drinking was done for the same reasons teens picked up smoking or drugs, the whole "it's what the cool kids are doing" or "my parents said no but I'm going to do it anyway". Mostly though I think it boils down to kids seeing adults drinking and laughing and such and wanting to do it as well, but they don't always see the results of too much drinking or understand the kinds of personality shifts that can happen, happy drunk vs angry drunk, etc.

Meh. My mother drank enough to ruin four lives. I figured that was enough for my lifetime, too, so I've never drunk alcohol and do not intend to ever start.

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Mrs. Prof and I drank when we were in our early 20s, before we had our son. However, it was almost always in a social setting like a party and usually involved a competitor for the state drink of Texas, the frozen margarita.

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1 hour ago, The Old Hack said:

Meh. My mother drank enough to ruin four lives. I figured that was enough for my lifetime, too, so I've never drunk alcohol and do not intend to ever start.

I was the same way with smoking, I hated the fact that my parents smoked mainly because they made me go out and buy cigarettes for them, they weren't heavy smokers but it was usually once or twice a week that I'd have to do a cigarette run for them. It started with giving me a signed note that I was to give the cashier, that said I was given permission to buy them. Then when I was 18 Canada passed a law that said you must be at least 19 years of age to buy cigarettes and so I thought I was free, but pretty much as soon as I turned 19 I was buying them again until they finally quit smoking 10 years ago.

And yet studies have been saying for years that children who's parents drink and/or smoke are at high risk of picking up the habit.

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I have lost my last remaining grandparent.

My paternal grandmother, who was in a nursing home in Houston, died suddenly last night. I found out at about 5am this morning via Facebook message from my sister. After I made several attempts to contact her, she finally called me. She said my grandmother's blood pressure started crashing late last night. She was dead soon afterward.

I'm almost 100% certain that the funeral will be held in Austin, because she has a plot next to her husband. So, she'll have to travel from Houston, and my wife and I will have to travel from Dallas. There's also another thing headed in the general direction: Tropical Depression Harvey. Lord only knows when things are going to converge. At least I've been given medical permission to travel, but I know I'll feel like crap all the way there and all the way back.

I'm still trying to get over all of this. Please forgive me if I'm somewhat subdued for the next few days.

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4 hours ago, ProfessorTomoe said:

I'm still trying to get over all of this. Please forgive me if I'm somewhat subdued for the next few days.

Of course, old friend. My condolences on your loss. Take all the time you need to recover; you will be in my thoughts.

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5 hours ago, ProfessorTomoe said:

I have lost my last remaining grandparent.

My paternal grandmother, who was in a nursing home in Houston, died suddenly last night. I found out at about 5am this morning via Facebook message from my sister. After I made several attempts to contact her, she finally called me. She said my grandmother's blood pressure started crashing late last night. She was dead soon afterward.

My heartfelt condolences.  When I went through grandparent losses, I was more worried about my parent having lost their parent than I was about myself, and I think in a way that helps cushion the blow.  May I infer from your not mentoning other family that it's just you and your sister now, or is there other family remaining who just won't need to travel for the funeral?

Quote

There's also another thing headed in the general direction: Tropical Depression Harvey. Lord only knows when things are going to converge.

Here's hoping Harvey vanishes like a giant white rabbit.

Quote

At least I've been given medical permission to travel, but I know I'll feel like crap all the way there and all the way back.

Ugh.  But better to be able to travel than not.  Will you be driving?  Seems a lot more flexible than flying or train, even if it takes longer.

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5 hours ago, CritterKeeper said:

May I infer from your not mentioning other family that it's just you and your sister now, or is there other family remaining who just won't need to travel for the funeral?

There were ... issues. Issues that made me look forward to getting up to my grandparents' place and away from my parents (and later, step parent) every summer. You wouldn't want to know the details. Trust me. They last to this day.

5 hours ago, CritterKeeper said:

Here's hoping Harvey vanishes like a giant white rabbit.

Here, here.

5 hours ago, CritterKeeper said:

Will you be driving?  Seems a lot more flexible than flying or train, even if it takes longer.

Driving's the only practical mode of transportation anywhere in Texas, unless you've got someone to pick you up on the other end (we do not) or unless you're taking a vacation. Mrs. Prof will have to be behind the wheel, since I still can't drive (due to pain and hydrocodone).

6 hours ago, The Old Hack said:

Of course, old friend. My condolences on your loss. Take all the time you need to recover; you will be in my thoughts.

Many thanks. It's a massively complicated situation, as I mentioned above. It'll be an uncomfortable situation, no matter what.

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2 hours ago, ProfessorTomoe said:

The funeral has been postponed until the middle of or late next week, due to the possibility of hurricane and flooding damage.

Likely a wise move.

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It's looking like Thursday or Friday for the funeral now, if the weather clears up that quickly. I'm familiar with their plots, and they're near an area that floods. Not saying the cemetery has ever flooded, but with historic levels of rain predicted, you can throw all other predictions and history out the window.

One thing that I'm not sure how to handle is that the service is being held in the Ben Hur Shrine Hall down in Austin. My grandfather was a Shriner and my grandmother (and great-grandmother) a member of the Order of the Eastern Star, so it's not breaking any rules. It's just that I'm not so sure my father made a proper choice when picking the venue. None of the others' services were held at a Shrine Hall, for cryin' out loud, but which is better—that, or a funeral home like theirs were?

It's a shame that it's a closed casket ceremony. She supposedly deteriorated so badly in her last days that any attempt to make her up would apparently be useless. I've also been told that my father is spending something like $15,000 on the funeral. That perplexes me, especially since he's a Shriner himself. What's the charge for—transportation? Dodging hurricanes?

(BTW, I am not a Mason, nor am I a Shriner. Long story I don't intend to get into.)

The whole thing is depressing me to the point where my meds aren't working. If they are working, I sure as hell can't tell. All I want to do is sleep.

I've done some computer work, but nothing productive. Mainly trying to figure out how to use competitors to Google's guetzli JPEG compressor, like MozJPEG, and wondering why someone won't write a front-end that handles all of them.

Even my pains are coming back, especially the left foot stone bruise. I'm sick to death of all of it.

This post even negates the need for my most recent planned blog post. And the gut punches just keep on coming.

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10 hours ago, ProfessorTomoe said:

This post even negates the need for my most recent planned blog post. And the gut punches just keep on coming.

I'm sorry, old friend. But you and Mrs. Prof and the kitties are in my thoughts. You will manage, I am certain. And even times like these shall eventually pass.

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7 minutes ago, The Old Hack said:

I'm sorry, old friend. But you and Mrs. Prof and the kitties are in my thoughts. You will manage, I am certain. And even times like these shall eventually pass.

As always, I thank you for the support. I'm getting to the point where I may need to call my psychiatrist and ask for an increased dosage of something temporarily.

I've texted and messaged my sister for info on the funeral, now that Harvey is mostly a rain event. Even the schedule is a potential problem now, because Mrs. Prof has a non-reschedulable event on Friday. I can't stand all of this pressure building up over going down there.

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I just posted the following on Facebook as I sit here, alone, watching CNN's coverage of the Hurricane Harvey:
 

Quote

 

My grandmother passed away just before Hurricane Harvey hit Texas. She was supposed to have been buried in Austin, in a plot next to her husband. Unfortunately, since she died in a Houston nursing home just before she could be transported, there's now no way to get her from Houston to Austin for the burial.

This hurricane has no mercy, even for the dead and grieving.

 

This is a cruel, cruel storm.

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On 8/27/2017 at 0:54 AM, ProfessorTomoe said:

Mrs. Prof has a non-reschedulable event on Friday. I can't stand all of this pressure building up over going down there.

 

13 hours ago, ProfessorTomoe said:

Unfortunately, since she died in a Houston nursing home just before she could be transported, there's now no way to get her from Houston to Austin for the burial.

Perhaps fate is trying to indirectly help you out, by delaying things past the one no-go date on your calendar?  Small comfort, I know, but possible.  *hugs*

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And now the news comes from my sister, via Facebook:

Quote

Due to Hurricane Harvey, my Grandmother's funeral has been postponed to mid to late next week in Austin. We will know more by Friday of this week.

They've got to get her and themselves out of the southeastern corner of Houston (the part that's getting 49.88" of rain) across the entire flooded city in order to reach dry land on the opposite side just to make it to Austin for the funeral. I don't see how they'll do it unless Hobby Airport (which is also on the southeast side of Houston) dries up enough to fly everyone out. The mind boggles.

I wish I could just stick to cat pictures (and not have them barf behind me without warning).

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Well, on the one hand, it's delayed past your wife's no-go day; on the other, it's awful that it's happening to them.  At least they're all safe, or at least, I assume you'd be telling us if they weren't.  I wish I had a hovercraft or Whomobile or something that I could take across land and sea and flood to get everyone where they need to go.

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8 hours ago, ProfessorTomoe said:

And now the news comes from my sister, via Facebook:

They've got to get her and themselves out of the southeastern corner of Houston (the part that's getting 49.88" of rain) across the entire flooded city in order to reach dry land on the opposite side just to make it to Austin for the funeral. I don't see how they'll do it unless Hobby Airport (which is also on the southeast side of Houston) dries up enough to fly everyone out. The mind boggles.

I wish I could just stick to cat pictures (and not have them barf behind me without warning).

Nonetheless, thank you for the updates. Believe me, they are as welcome as the cat pictures -- they tell us you are alive and hanging in there in spite of everything.

 

32 minutes ago, CritterKeeper said:

Well, on the one hand, it's delayed past your wife's no-go day; on the other, it's awful that it's happening to them.  At least they're all safe, or at least, I assume you'd be telling us if they weren't.  I wish I had a hovercraft or Whomobile or something that I could take across land and sea and flood to get everyone where they need to go.

It seems to be the season for wishes. Allow me to add mine that the pressure will let up eventually and that you will all make it safely to the other side of it.

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