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      Welcome, everyone, to the new 910CMX Community Forums. I'm still working on getting them running, so things may change.  If you're a 910 Comic creator and need your forum recreated, let me know and I'll get on it right away.  I'll do my best to make this new place as fun as the last one!
The Old Hack

Things that make you sad.

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1 hour ago, ProfessorTomoe said:

I am sincerely sorry to hear this. Is there anything we can do for you?

Not really.

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On 3/31/2018 at 9:09 PM, mlooney said:

I was just notified that my father passed away on the 29th.  This has not been a good month for me.

I'm so sorry to hear.  I had something similar, with my mom calling me on Saturday morning and it turned out he'd been in the hospital since Thursday night.  She didn't want to interrupt my attending a conference and figured there was nothing I could do anyway, but it felt weird to know that this'd been going on and I'd had no idea.  Please do let us know if there is anything we can do, and if you just need to vent, we're a great audience for that, too.

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I have been a longtime fan of the comic Erfworld. I have followed it through many ups and downs. I have been a Patreon for it for a while and have always loved it.

Rob Balder, creator of Erfworld, just posted the news that his wife has been diagnosed with liver cancer. They are taking up the fight but it is not looking good. I know all too well how that is. One of my closest friends died from liver cancer less than two years ago. I still vividly remember his long hard struggle.

Erfworld is going to continue at a reduced level of activity but that is the least of things on my mind right now. I am not sure even what to think. This... hit me harder than I can offhand explain.

Damn it.

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There have been several stories about services and ceremonies held by Jewish congregations and organizations in memory of the Jewish victims of the Holocaust.  The reason this makes me sad is, while they repeatedly declare they will NEVER FORGET the six million Jews who were murdered by the Nazis, and no one else should either, they seem quite happy to forget all about the other six million victims, the disabled, the homosexual, the Romani, and all the other minorities that the Nazis were equally diligent in trying to wipe out.  Not one mention of the fact that there were any other victims, that anyone else suffered and died.  You would think if they're so determined that everyone remember what they went through, that they'd be a bit less quick to forget others who went through the same thing and are doubtless just as unhappy to be forgotten.

It was especially blatant when reporters cited a recent study that said that something like 22% of Millennials thought only 2 million Jews were killed -- and not one reporter nor anyone they interviewed made any mention of whether they knew about any of the other victims, or pointed out the lack of their inclusion in the study if that was the problem.

If you wish not to be forgotten, the most important step to take is to remember others.  It holds true for individuals, but I believe it holds true for groups of individuals as well.

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9 minutes ago, CritterKeeper said:

There have been several stories about services and ceremonies held by Jewish congregations and organizations in memory of the Jewish victims of the Holocaust.  The reason this makes me sad is, while they repeatedly declare they will NEVER FORGET the six million Jews who were murdered by the Nazis, and no one else should either, they seem quite happy to forget all about the other six million victims, the disabled, the homosexual, the Romani, and all the other minorities that the Nazis were equally diligent in trying to wipe out.  Not one mention of the fact that there were any other victims, that anyone else suffered and died.  You would think if they're so determined that everyone remember what they went through, that they'd be a bit less quick to forget others who went through the same thing and are doubtless just as unhappy to be forgotten.

It was especially blatant when reporters cited a recent study that said that something like 22% of Millennials thought only 2 million Jews were killed -- and not one reporter nor anyone they interviewed made any mention of whether they knew about any of the other victims, or pointed out the lack of their inclusion in the study if that was the problem.

If you wish not to be forgotten, the most important step to take is to remember others.  It holds true for individuals, but I believe it holds true for groups of individuals as well.

This is so important. Thank you for saying it. For example, the mass murder of the disabled is so often erased or glossed over. They, the Rom, and so many others deserve to be remembered.

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Our saltwater aquarium at work died.

Last summer, a former employee was moving with his family to Florida, and his brother who had said he'd take the tank backed out at the last minute, so my boss agreed to let him set it up in the lobby.  It had two clown fish, on royal gramma (bright yellow one end, bright purple the other), and a bunch of rocks with live soft corals on them.  It quickly started growing an icky red algae and had various other problems.  We have a place just down the street that specializes in salt water, corals especially, and we wound up paying them to come in and get everything in order.  (Apparently the former owner was doing almost everything wrong, which does not really surprise me....)

The fish were colorful, snails and crabs provided even more critter entertainment, and I was surprised how interesting the corals could be.  One, especially, which I'd saved from falling off its rock by putting its base into a little hole on another rock, had turned out to have at least half a dozen different shapes it could take on, and I could occasionally see a tendril/frond/whatever fold in around some tasty bit of debris, and I watched it grow and thrive.  We'd recently added two peppermint shrimp to get rid of some less desirable growths, and they'd just started coming out of hiding more and doing their job.  The tank was looking really good!

Well, this morning when I came in the lights were off, but once the lights came on in the tank, first time I walked towards it I could see all the soft corals were drooping down over their rocks instead if standing up, and when I looked closer, the fish were floating at the bottom, not moving.  Even the little peppermint shrimp were lying dead.  The water felt noticably too warm, and when I floated the thermometer it was almost 100°F.  Apparently, the heater malfunctioned, and stayed on instead of switching off when it got too warm.  Our poor little fish and shrimp and crabs and snails, and all those live corals, got cooked and died in one night.

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My grandmother is in the hospital after falling down her cellar stairs and hitting her head badly; she's not expected to make it.

The timing is particularly cruel too (not that any time would have been a good time). She lives a good four hour drive away, so we were usually only able to see each other a few times a year; our next visit was going to be next week, and we had recently been talking about how we were both looking forward to it...

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She's passed.

I've spent so much time preemptively mourning her over the last couple of days that now I'm to emotionally drained to feel much additional sadness, though I'm sure it's only a matter of time before it hits me again. In the mean time though, it's at least a little bit of a relief to know that it's over.

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1 hour ago, ChronosCat said:

She's passed.

I've spent so much time preemptively mourning her over the last couple of days that now I'm to emotionally drained to feel much additional sadness, though I'm sure it's only a matter of time before it hits me again. In the mean time though, it's at least a little bit of a relief to know that it's over.

My profoundest condolences to you and your family. My thoughts go out to you. *hug*

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1 hour ago, ChronosCat said:

She's passed.

I've spent so much time preemptively mourning her over the last couple of days that now I'm to emotionally drained to feel much additional sadness, though I'm sure it's only a matter of time before it hits me again. In the mean time though, it's at least a little bit of a relief to know that it's over.

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I hope she didn't suffer.

I know where you're coming from with the planned visit being a little too late.  My dad's brother and sister were planning on coming to visit for his 75th birthday.  Instead they got to come to his memorial.

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I still feel guilty every time I think about how my initial reaction to the death of both my parents was simply "It's over."

Don't let anyone, including yourself, tell you that you should be feeling a certain way at a certain time.  Take your feelings as they come.  And if you find yourself not overwhelmed by mourning, give a hand to someone who is.

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3 hours ago, CritterKeeper said:

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I hope she didn't suffer.

I hope so too. No one witnessed the fall; she was found a few hours later. I really hope she was unconscious the entire time. After they got her to the hospital she was sedated, and later given morphine, so I suppose from that point on she was as comfortable as possible under the circumstances.

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2 hours ago, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

I still feel guilty every time I think about how my initial reaction to the death of both my parents was simply "It's over."

Don't let anyone, including yourself, tell you that you should be feeling a certain way at a certain time.  Take your feelings as they come.  And if you find yourself not overwhelmed by mourning, give a hand to someone who is.

That's not unusual, and there's nothing wrong with it.  When a person (or pet) has been sick for a while, or is very old, and the end is in sight, we tend to do some of our mourning ahead of time.  By the time the end comes, it's not that we don't mourn them, it's that we already have.  And it being over can be a good thing.

My mom could see the end coming.  She has coped very well, because she had tme to deal with all the emotions, as well as the two of them each having their own interests and having some life apart from each other.  She says it mostly feels like he's still in the next room, it's just further away now.  I have a client whose husband died before my dad did, and she still tears up almost every appointment, and talks about how hard it is to cope without him.  They shared so much, and had so little they didn't share, that her whole world was torn apart.  Plus, his death was completely unexpected, so she had no time to get used to the idea, no chance to spread things out.

I tell clients, when a pet dies, that there is no right or wrong way to say goodbye.  At a euthanasia, some people stay to the very end, some stay until their pet is asleep, and some leave before I do anything.  None of them is wrong, none of them love their pet any less based on their choice.  The same is true for losing people.

You can expect one death to bring up feelings about other deaths, maybe even moreso than the current one.  You may hit all the official Stages Of Grief, but you may not,  Don't be afraid to reach out if you need to talk, to family or friends or to a support group or whatever.  But don't feel bad if you don't need to talk, either.  *hugs*  You have friends here.

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John Sidney McCain III
August 29, 1936 – August 25, 2018

I disagreed with most of his politics, but usually respected his views.
(At least up until he lost control of his own Presidential Campaign as he approached the GOP convention in 2008.)

He was the last Presidential candidate my father liked.
(2012?  Dad liked Governor George Romney much more than his son, Mitt)

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