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The Old Hack

An announcement

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Hey everybody,

I have an announcement to make. After some recent developments in my life I have finally come to the realisation that I am transgender. I have been so deep in denial about this, repressed so many memories, that the first of my close friends I spoke to about it was not surprised to learn at all. The irony of this is not lost on me.

I've changed my avatar; that was the easy part. I am still working on the rest of it. You do not have to pay attention to this if you do not feel it concerns you. I merely wished to announce it here. That's all.

Best regards,
~tOH.

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5 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

Nothing really to say, other than I'm happy for you. Self-discovery isn't easy, but it's often personally rewarding.

Well said, so I will echo this.

I know two transgender young people, it has not been easy for them, but they have found acceptance when needed. My impression is that you've been around a while and will be more sure of yourself and need less validation. One bit of advice; live somewhere that minimizes stupid people.

 

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I'm happy for you that you figured this out, and sad for you that it took so long and was so hard to do so. Here's hoping that your road forward from here is a generally positive one.

Incidentally, that avatar sure is quite the shift from Raven! It looks great, but it might take a bit of getting used to! :)

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3 hours ago, ChronosCat said:

Incidentally, that avatar sure is quite the shift from Raven! It looks great, but it might take a bit of getting used to! :)

I don't know. Dark haired, serious, not very open to taking shit from anyone... I like Susan and am perfectly happy to use her as a role model.

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13 hours ago, The Old Hack said:

I have been so deep in denial about this

Don't feel bad about being slow - I figured out that I'm mildly genderfluid about a month after my great-grandson's first birthday.

But this could explain why I've occasionally gotten an impression of carefully-contained, undirected bitterness from you.

Maybe the realization will help you. I know that while the 20-minute bouts of gender dysphoria a few times a year weren't ever really a problem for me, finally actually recognizing what they were helped me deal with them when they happen. So it would make sense that the same sort of understanding would help someone with a more substantial case (but then, there's a lot about humans that doesn't make sense).

And I hope the realization doesn't cause you a lot of grief from outside.

Aside: swiped from notalwaysright.com

Quote

Me: “Mum, I’m gay.”

Mum: “Oh, god. No, I didn’t hear that. You haven’t just come out to me.”

Me: “But, I just did. Mum, I’m gay!”

Mum: “NO, I’m not listening.”

Me: *now hurt and crying* “But, I thought you would accept it! [Uncle] is gay and you’re fine with it.”

Mum: “Oh, [My Name]. Could you maybe come out in like three weeks, maybe a month? I’ll split it with you.”

Me: “What?”

Mum: “Your grandmother and I have a bet that you wouldn’t come out until you started at university. If you keep quiet I’ll split the £100 with you.”

(Guess who got £50.)

 

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21 minutes ago, Don Edwards said:

And I hope the realization doesn't cause you a lot of grief from outside.

Oh, trust me. It already is. <sigh> I have been reliably informed that I am going to Hell for daring to defy the Lord by 'choosing' to 'falsely' declare myself a woman. And let's not even get started on the problems I've met in unexpected places. This is going to be uphill.

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1 hour ago, The Old Hack said:

Oh, trust me. It already is. <sigh> I have been reliably informed that I am going to Hell for daring to defy the Lord by 'choosing' to 'falsely' declare myself a woman. And let's not even get started on the problems I've met in unexpected places. This is going to be uphill.

How is your family taking your revelation? Hoping they are supportive.

Be careful. The incidence of violence against transgendered m to f is rather high. Be safe. Find a mentor if you can.

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50 minutes ago, Darth Fluffy said:

Be careful. The incidence of violence against transgendered m to f is rather high. Be safe. Find a mentor if you can.

Speak softly, and carry a big stick. Preferably one with a cattle prod at the end.

Would you like for me to give your new avatar the same colorization treatment I gave your old one? Send me a PM so we can work things out if so.

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How you will deal with reactions to your announcement in the "real" world is something I can not anticipate.  Nor can I offer any meaningful assistance.

9 hours ago, Darth Fluffy said:

One bit of advice; live somewhere that minimizes stupid people.

Is there actually such a place?

But as for those of us here, let me ask this...
Will you continue being the forum pedant?
If so, then nothing has really changed

Congratulations.  Not only for  figuring out something that was wrong with your life, but for actually doing something about it.

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4 hours ago, Darth Fluffy said:

Be careful. The incidence of violence against transgendered m to f is rather high. Be safe. Find a mentor if you can.

I am aware. Thank you for your concern. I am looking for contact groups.

4 hours ago, Darth Fluffy said:

How is your family taking your revelation? Hoping they are supportive.

I have just come out to my brother. Not to anyone else in my family yet, small steps. He handled it like a fucking boss. He didn't even blink, he just said that that helped clarify a lot of things. For now we have agreed to keep it between us; he recommends I take it slow -- as my own instincts do, too.

3 hours ago, ProfessorTomoe said:

Would you like for me to give your new avatar the same colorization treatment I gave your old one? Send me a PM so we can work things out if so.

I would be very grateful.

1 hour ago, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

But as for those of us here, let me ask this...
Will you continue being the forum pedant?
If so, then nothing has really changed

I will hopefully be a bit happier and more at peace at myself. Apart from that, I hope you are right.

1 hour ago, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

Congratulations.  Not only for  figuring out something that was wrong with your life, but for actually doing something about it.

Thank you so very much. It has been very difficult. But I am hopeful that it will make my life better and I already see signs of improvement.

Thank you all for your support. It means so much to me.

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7 hours ago, ProfessorTomoe said:

Would you like for me to give your new avatar the same colorization treatment I gave your old one? Send me a PM so we can work things out if so.

For some reason I cannot get my PMs to work properly. Could you try to send me one, please? Possibly with an e-mail I could mail the avatar to?

Thank you in advance.

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6 hours ago, The Old Hack said:

I don't know. Dark haired, serious, not very open to taking shit from anyone... I like Susan and am perfectly happy to use her as a role model.

There is also a small pool of f!Adrian content and I don't think any of them would have the same effect...well, there might be one if you don't mind the cheerleader outfit, but it looks like Adrian does mind so it's probably not the best example.

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6 hours ago, The Old Hack said:

For some reason I cannot get my PMs to work properly. Could you try to send me one, please? Possibly with an e-mail I could mail the avatar to?

I have done exactly that. Worked on my end. Here's hoping you can receive it.

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...Huh.  I thought you already knew years ago.
also i know that's not the best way to phrase that but that's the closest i could get so something that doesn't either come out wrong when i write it out, or just sound incredibly stupid...

Heres hoping its mostly smooth sailing from here.

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On 8/31/2019 at 7:55 AM, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

Is there actually such a place?

Where I live, the urban areas would be much safer for a trans individual than the rural areas. No guarantees, of course.

One of the aforementioned young people, who happens to be a relative, chose to move to NYC. There is, at least, a larger community of support.

 

On 8/31/2019 at 7:55 AM, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

But as for those of us here, let me ask this...

Will you continue being the forum pedant?
If so, then nothing has really changed

Sorry, if it is a problem, I will refrain from posting.

 

On 8/31/2019 at 7:55 AM, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

Congratulations.  Not only for  figuring out something that was wrong with your life, but for actually doing something about it.

I don't know what you are referring to.

 

 

 

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9 hours ago, ChronosCat said:

I'm pretty sure the only part of the Pharaoh's post directed at you was "Is there actually such a place?"; everything else looks to me to have been directed at The Old Hack.

Thanks, I found that confusing.

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A little late to the party, but I also add my voice congratulating you on coming to a new understanding of yourself, and I hope that you can find new peace and comfort as well as safety and support.

I hope you will find this positive and not offensive....there was someone in my area who ran a prop shop who turned it into a BDSM space on weekend evenings, and they at some times presented at "Tina",  with the place being known as "Tina's Place."  But, a good chunk of the rest of the time, they presented as male (can't even recall his legal name offhand).  He had very masculine features and usually had a five o'clock shadow, if not more....and so did Tina.  They were willing to dress up anyway, at least in safe spaces, in wonderful frilly dresses and bows and sparkles.  I don't know if they just accepted the masculine features and didn't care, or had given up trying to look more female and come to terms with it.  Either way, within the "family" that gathered there, in the safe space that I knew Tina at, everyone was accepting and loved Tina for who he or she was, whichever the case might be at the time.  They also had a wonderful, charming wife, as far into middle age as Tina was, which given that this was late 90s was probably a big reason for presenting as male to the outside world....

Older trans women always make me think fondly of Tina.  May you find joyful ways to express yourself and enjoy your new self-knowledge, and may those who love you continue to do so.  *hugs*

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So, it never occurred to me until someone on Discord mentioned it, they had made a couple patreon sketchbook requests back before Dan switched to the pinup polls format, but had since then gone through some identity changes and they no longer wanted to go by the name they had used when they originally requested the sketchbooks. They were able to get in touch with Dan and ask for their name to be changed in the commentaries and Dan was pretty quick about doing it.

I remembered that you (ToH) had also made some requests and while you haven't mentioned anything about name changes here, I figured I'd at least let you know that it shouldn't be difficult should you like to do so.

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2 hours ago, Scotty said:

I remembered that you (ToH) had also made some requests and while you haven't mentioned anything about name changes here, I figured I'd at least let you know that it shouldn't be difficult should you like to do so.

Thank you! I'll consider it.

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