[Seth/Sara]

*Action 9 Now News theme plays*

Announcer: "Now coming to you live from a new location in the alleyway behind Dr. Germahn's Lab. Seth Rilea and Sara Dorris. With Seraphina Williams with the weather, and Rachel Moore with Sports. There's also this other girl...Sibyl Cecilia...She does...stuff. Now time for Action 9 BSNBC News!"

Camera 1: Seth and Sara sit at their desk, a rat scurries across screen.
Seth: "Hello, and welcome to Action 9 BSNBC. The ONLY news you'll ever believe!" <Whisper>* "No, seriously, believe us or the owl will eat you."</Whisper> "I'm Seth Rilea, and this is Sara Dorris."

Camera 2: Head shot of Sara. A highly stylized image of a milk carton appears off to the side, with Sibyl holding it up on a piece of cardboard.
Sara: "Today in the news, we have the word on the New Forum Food Fight. The first Fatality goes to Seth, Farlance, and the Poo Monkey, also collectively known as Monkeys, a group split off from both Wotchers and Bunnies Alike."
Seth: *Sticking his head on camera and flashing a Victory sign.*
Sara: *Shoves Seth back to his seat.* "Meanwhile, I have come up with a new weapon for the battle against them, The details are sketchy at best and it's quite likely to leave a crater the size of Alaska, but I can live with that."
Rachel: *From off camera* "Hey, wouldn't this fall under sports?"
Sara: "No, and hold that camera steady!"
Rachel: *From off camera* "Ah man..."
Sara: "And now for Seraphina with the weather."

Camera 3: Seraphina stands in front of a poorly drawn weather screen that doesn't even have animation.
Sera: "I demand more money..."
Seth: *From off screen* "Too bad, just tell them what they need to know."
Sera: "The weather will be snowy EVERYWHERE, except for Reno, Nevada. I don't know why, but it's just not going there. Back to you Seth."

Camera 4: Head shot of Seth.
Seth: "Socks, harmless foot warmers, or evil overlords? We'll have the answer when we come back from break."

*Action 9 Now commercial break theme.*

Camera 1: Seth and Sara are talking to each other, mostly throwing insults around.
Rachel: *From off screen* "Hey...How do you turn this thing off?"
Seth: "Gimme that thing!" *Camera shuts off.*

[Seth/Sara]

*Action 9 Now news theme*

Camera 4: Seth sits on screen, a cockroach on a makeshift podium in front of him mimicking his actions.
Seth: "This just in! The EGS Defense Force is taking military action in trying to secure an outpost here on the 910 forums! Surprisingly, there is an 80% approval rating of the action. It is BSNBC's belief that the Wotchers are working with the EGS-DF to rig the polls." *A disclaimer reads at the bottom of the screen "It is not actually the belief of BSNBC, but that of Seth Rilea. If you need to attack someone, go after him."*

Announcer: "We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming."

===Commercial===
Highly stylized zombie cartoon character: "Hey kids, are you ready for something different from all those OTHER sugary cereals? Try Zombie-O's! The ONLY cereal not approved by the FDA! It's got bits of brains. That's right, REAL BRAINS! And it also contains the malicious and delicious T-Virus! Be sure to beg your parents to buy it, or I'll eat YOU!"

*Zombie-O's jingle plays while the zombie dances about, at the end his head falling off.*
===End Commercial===

[Seth/Sara]

===Commercial===
Female Announcer: "Hello BSNBC viewers. Interested in a job? Join the BSNBC news team. You'll go exciting places, learn new languages, and you get paid in whatever form you wish. Just send your resume to 835 1/2, Greenheel Avenue, Moperville. Or, call us at our toll free phone number, 555-9876. All positions are open! You could become just as famous as Camera Guy Steve, Boom Guy Mike, or Field Reporter Joe! Once again, the address is 962 3/4, Mel Gibson Way, Tandy, and the phone number is 555-0321."
===End Commercial===

===Preview===
Dark Voiceover: "I am Darkness." *Scene shows a destroyed version of Tokyo.* "I am FEAR!" *Scene switches to people fleeing for their lives from New York.* "I!" *Scene shows the Empire State Building.* "AM!" *Scene zooms to the top.* "FLUFFY!!!" *Scene shows Agent Bunny staring down at the chaos.*

Announcer: "A movie created to remember the dark times of Mayhem. When a rogue Bunny betrayed us, when our military left its people to rot, when TF Guns became useless." *Scene shows Agent Bunny entering the TF Gun warehouse* "Only one man can save the day." *A man appears behind Agent Bunny* "Chuck Norris, Savior of Mayhem!" *Lighting reveals a horrible looking stunt double for Chuck Norris.*

Scenes flash, showing various poorly scripted battle sequences, a pot shot at President Bush (The old one), and a meeting room filled with socks.

Announcer: "Based on a true story. Coming soon to a back-alley theatre near you."

Chuck Norris, Savior of Mayhem. Not coming to any real theatre. Date not released. Rated G by a group of Bunnies who wish their version of truth to reach everyone.
===End Preview===

===Action 9 News===
*Action 9 Now news theme plays*

Camera 1: Seth, Sara, and two cockroaches sit at the desk.
Seth: *Wearing socks on his hands.* "Socks, harmless footwear, or Evil Overlords? My report concluded that they're harmless. Everyone should wear socks, socks are great." *Hypnotic music plays in the background as Seth repeats "Socks are great, you should wear them."*
Sara: *Also wearing socks on her hands.* "In other news, the approval rating for the EGS-DF building an outpost has decreased slightly, it now stands at 78% approval. Now here's Sibyl Cecilia with her report from the Real Life Seth Rilea."

Camera 5: Shows Sibyl sitting at a cardboard box, half asleep. She's not wearing any socks.
Sibyl: "Huh? What? Oh...I WASN'T TOLD TO REPORT YOU MEANIES!" *Rushes off in a stolen MNCAN news truck.*

Camera 1: The cockroaches have doubled.
Seth: "That was odd."
Sara: "Any odder then what usually happens here?"
Seth: "I guess not."
Sara: "Lets go to Rachel with sports."

Camera 6: Rachel holding a camera aimed at Seth and Sara.
Rachel: *Looks over at Camera 6, dropping Camera 1 in the process.* "In sports, the Food Fight Rages on, various people have gone missing in action, and I myself may make an appearance to question those involved. Wish me luck. Back to you Sara."

Camera 1: Technical Difficulties is displayed.
Sara: "Can we switch to Camera 2?"
Advisor: "No, you gotta make due with this."
Sara: "Dangit. Wait...I could use this to my advantage." *Various strange sounds are heard in the background.*
Seth: "Holy! Sara! Put that back on!"
Sara: "Gotta catch me first."

Camera views shift as Seth chases Sara through the news area. Sara is holding the Channel 9 News Banner while running. The two run straight out of the alley.

Camera 3: Seraphina stands in front of her poorly drawn Weather forcast.
Sera: *Watches Seth and Sara run off, then turns back to the camera.* "Does this mean we break for lunch?"

*Action 9 commercial break theme.*
===End Broadcast===

[Seth/Sara]

((For purposes of play, this whole post is considered to be Out Of Character.))

Rules of BSNBC:
1. Always Blame the EGS-DF for anything, including Ajac, even if he is MIA.
2. If you don't think you CAN blame the EGS-DF, blame it on some other scapegoat, preferably one thought highly of.
3. DO NOT TARGET THE ARTISTS! They're wrath is like a magnifying glass, and we are small, like ants.
4. Reports are meant to be silly and maintain a strong amount of useless fluff and/or outright lies.
5. Read the rules of Mayhem, then forget every single one, those rules are meant to be broken.
6. If you come from the group known as "Wotchers", then be sure to tell us about the Goulash. It's been KILLING us trying to figure it out.
7. Payment may be in cash, bananas, old car parts, flying monkeys, or anything else you can think of.
8. Theft is perfectly acceptable so long as it works in our favor.

REAL rules of BSNBC (The Game):
1. No godmodding.
2. Reports may be done on anything, but follow the rules of the forums.
3. BSNBC is not limited to news, you may post "Commercials", "Soaps", "Cartoons", "Previews", or anything else you might find on television.
4. Don't control other's characters.
5. NPCs are free to control however you wish, usually an NPC will have a descriptor of what their job is, followed by a common name.
6. Don't personally attack each others characters if you "work" for BSNBC, that's not what this game is about. It's about having fun.
7. Don't say something that may potentially upset another user in real life. Keep anything you say in character aimed at character.
8. I reserve the right to use my modified TF Guns on anyone I wish.

[Ka Bob]

835 1/2, Greenheel Avenue, Moperville
Ka Bob: *Arrives at address given and looks around* "HELLO?" *Looks around some more* "I'M HERE FOR A JOB."

[Seth/Sara]

Ka Bob arrives just as Seth and Sara rush out the alleyway.

Down the alley Ka Bob can see various equipment with MNCAN's logo on it scratched out and replaced with poorly written variations of BSNBC.

Seraphina is erasing her weather board with a water hose while Sibyl is busy fixing the equipment that Rachel broke. Most of the behind the scenes guys consist of a bunch of homeless men and women of varying age.

Rachel seems to be the only one to have noticed Ka Bob. "Wait...job? HOLY SHIVE! SOMEONE WATCHES OUR SHOW!!!"

[Proginoskes]

I have no idea how to work this information into an IC post, so this is OOC.
Among Wotchers, goulash is considered a powerful hallucinogen, or at least Very Very Bad For You. This is because in Wotch canon, magic-naïve students at TGHS dismiss blatant displays of magic as visions induced by the cafeteria goulash.

[Haven Skylar]

I have no idea how to work this information into an IC post, so this is OOC.
Among Wotchers, goulash is considered a powerful hallucinogen, or at least Very Very Bad For You. This is because in Wotch canon, magic-naïve students at TGHS dismiss blatant displays of magic as visions induced by the cafeteria goulash.

Continueing on with that, it was also the first forum meme(replacing random nouns or verbs in a sentence with "Goulash"), and it grew from there until it achived a life of it's own, at one point Goulash nearly conqured the warp pipe hub(Or was it some other thread that turned into a massive war zone for no aparent reason?), many Wotchers lost thier orginal forms that day.

[Ka Bob]

Ka Bob arrives just as Seth and Sara rush out the alleyway.

Down the alley Ka Bob can see various equipment with MNCAN's logo on it scratched out and replaced with poorly written variations of BSNBC.

Seraphina is erasing her weather board with a water hose while Sibyl is busy fixing the equipment that Rachel broke. Most of the behind the scenes guys consist of a bunch of homeless men and women of varying age.

Rachel seems to be the only one to have noticed Ka Bob. "Wait...job? HOLY SHIVE! SOMEONE WATCHES OUR SHOW!!!"

Ka Bob: *Walks up to Rachel* "Yeah, kinda. Anyway, I want a job. Anything, really. And I take payment in bananas." *Slight pause* "Oh, and I'm pretty for the expression 'Holy Shive'," *said with air italics* "is illegal."

[Proginoskes]

Ka Bob: *Walks up to Rachel* "Yeah, kinda. Anyway, I want a job. Anything, really. And I take payment in bananas." *Slight pause* "Oh, and I'm pretty for the expression 'Holy Shive'," *said with air italics* "is illegal."

Random Passerby: "Dude! what's your DEX? I can only manage 'air quotes' and air bold!"

[Ka Bob]

Random Passerby: "Dude! what's your DEX? I can only manage 'air quotes' and air bold!"

Ka Bob: *Looks over shoulder at the passer-by* "I'm special."

[Sir MDM the Persistent]

*Runs in then stops* Uh, hi! I have a message for you people. *Throws a glop grenade and runs off*

[Ka Bob]

*Runs in then stops* Uh, hi! I have a message for you people. *Throws a glop grenade and runs off*

Ka Bob: *Points at grenade* "RALPH!"

*Rattleblaze Scarecrow leaps on top of the grenade*

[Sir MDM the Persistent]

That's for being so anarchical!

[Dragonicsoul]

Ryuu walks into the BSNBC building, looking around at the general vicinity. "Hello? I'm looking for a job~!"

She stares as a man in a cockroach costume walks by. "Hi, um, could you tell me where I could find the manager?"

[Yreomyr]

===Commercial===

*Dramatic music*

Narrator: On the next episode of All my Duplicates:

Girl: But Will, I just can’t help but feel like you’re hiding something.

Will: *Looks pensive*

Girl: Please, tell me! Is it about when you were a girl? I already know about that!

Will: No Carol, it’s not, it’s- it’s about how I got turned back…

Carol: But… it just wore off, right? That’s what you told me.

*Another girl walks in, she looks a lot like Will*

Will: Carol, I’d like you to meet my… sister, Wilma.

Wilma: H-hi…

*Camera zooms in on Carol’s frightened face*

Narrator: This Friday on All my Duplicates.

===End commercial===

[roonstown]

Huh... you would have thought a building like this'd be in Downtown Tandy.

====THIS JUST IN=====

I LOST THE GAME