Illjwamh

What fun! I thought this thing had been lost forever! Looks like I've got some catching up to do. Let's go one month at a time. Mon. Apr. 6, 2020 Elliot: 990 Susan: 542 Wed. Apr. 8, 2020 Elliot: 991 Susan: 543 Sarah: 719 Tedd: 807 Diane: 257 Fri. Apr. 10, 2020 Diane: 258 Tedd: 808 Ellen: 704 Mon. Apr. 13, 2020 Justin: 476 Ellen: 705 Tedd: 809 Diane: 259 Elliot: 992 Susan: 544 Fri. Apr. 17, 2020 Tedd: 810 Elliot: 993 Ellen: 706 Diane: 260 Mon. Apr. 20, 2020 Elliot: 994 Tedd: 811 Justin: 477 Diane: 261 Ashley: 239 Grace: 904 Sarah: 720 Thu. Apr. 23, 2020 Susan: 545 Grace: 905 Diane: 262 Nanase: 636 Elliot: 995 Tedd: 812 Sarah: 721 Mon. Apr. 27, 2020 Elliot: 996 Tedd: 813 Sarah: 722 Wed. Apr. 29, 2020 Elliot: 997 Sarah: 723 Tedd: 814 Grace: 906 FULL COUNT:

Oh, hey guys

So Diane has charmspeak and the delivery girl is a wizard. Got it.

Wed. Mar. 4, 2020 Ashley: 234 Elliot: 986 Justin: 467 Diane: 247 Fri. Mar. 6, 2020 Diane: 248 Ashley: 235 Justin: 468 Mon. Mar. 9, 2020 Diane: 249 Justin: 469 Nanase: 631 Susan: 539 Wed. Mar. 11, 2020 Justin: 470 Diane: 250 Susan: 540 Ashley: 236 Elliot: 987 Mon. Mar. 16, 2020 Ashley: 237 Diane: 251 Grace: 902 Tedd: 801 Thu. Mar. 19, 2020 Justin: 471 Nanase: 632 Diane: 252 Tedd: 802 Elliot: 988 Mon. Mar. 23, 2020 Justin: 472 Diane: 253 Tedd: 803 Wed. Mar. 25, 2020 Ellen: 702 Nanase: 633 Tedd: 804 Diane: 254 Justin: 473 Fri. Mar. 27, 2020 Nanase: 634 Ellen: 703 Mon. Mar. 30, 2020 Sarah: 718 Grace: 903 Ashley: 238 Nanase: 635 Wed. Apr. 1, 2020 Diane: 255 Justin: 474 Tedd: 805 Fri. Apr. 3, 2020 Diane: 256 Tedd: 806 Justin: 475 Susan: 541 Elliot: 989 FULL COUNT

Mon. Feb. 3, 2020 Nanase: 623 Diane: 237 Justin: 460 Fri. Feb. 7, 2020 Ashley: 229 Elliot: 981 Grace: 897 Sarah: 715 Tedd: 795 Mon. Feb. 10, 2020 Grace: 898 Ashley: 230 Sarah: 716 Elliot: 982 Nanase: 624 Ellen: 698 Tedd: 796 Justin: 461 Diane: 238 Susan: 536 Wed. Feb. 12, 2020 Tedd: 797 Grace: 899 Elliot: 983 Diane: 239 Fri. Feb. 14, 2020 Diane: 240 Nanase: 625 Tedd: 798 Grace: 900 (2nd) Mon. Feb. 17, 2020 Grace: 901 Justin: 462 Diane: 241 Nanase: 626 Ashley: 231 Wed. Feb. 19, 2020 Elliot: 984 Ashley: 232 Tedd: 799 Sarah: 717 Fri. Feb. 21, 2020 Justin: 463 Diane: 242 Nanase: 627 Susan: 537 Ellen: 699 Mon. Feb. 24, 2020 Justin: 464 Diane: 243 Susan: 538 Ellen: 700 (5th) Nanase: 628 Wed. Feb. 26, 2020 Diane: 244 Justin: 465 Fri. Feb. 28, 2020 Justin: 466 Diane: 245 Nanase: 629 Tedd: 800 (3rd) Mon. Mar. 2, 2020 Ellen: 701 Diane: 246 Elliot: 985 Ashley: 233 Nanase: 630 *By an interesting coincidence, there remains no gap between hundreds among the 8 original main characters, thanks to both Grace and Tedd hitting a milestone in this update. It's true that the 300s remain unrepresented for now, thanks to the expansion of the main cast, but as long as Diane hits 300 before Justin hits 500, my obsessive desire for patterns should be satisfied. FULL COUNT

This seems more likely.

On January 31 in The Future: 2021 - Former president Donald J. Trump is finally removed from the White House by Secret Service and police, where he had been holed up for eleven days, refusing to leave. Of course we all know he really just accidentally locked himself in the bathroom. 2033 - An assassination attempt on Senator Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez fails when her would-be killer suffers a stroke just before he is able to initiate his attack. A self-described "anti-socialist", he had refused access to free public healthcare (famously championed by the senator), which could have saved him. You can't make this stuff up. 2057 - The last patch of Maldives soil sinks beneath the waves for good. Now I'm never getting my security deposit back. 2081 - Coca-cola retires their once-iconic polar bear advertising mascots, deeming them insensitive. That, and most people under 25 don't even know what they are. 2107 - The last ice from the last glacier on Earth melts. This is going to be a really bad hit to the bottled water industry. 2116 - The first shots are fired in the Third American Civil War. Folks in the nations of California and Cascadia feel a certain vindication. 2199 - Alison Simms, the first human born on Mars, is...well, born. The first person in the history of the world not to be part of the history of the world. 2245 - Pope Francis III is elected. Let's hope he's a bit more like his first namesake than his second, eh? Eh? You know what I'm talking about. 2311 - Rwanda officially takes the place of Peru as the world's largest economy. China quietly reminds us all of their storied history of playing the long game. 2465 - The crew of the Astraeus become the first human beings to leave the Solar System. "Smart move, getting out while you can." ~California and Cascadia

Wed. Jan. 22, 2020 Elliot: 976 Tedd: 791 Sarah: 710 Nanase: 619 Diane: 234 Fri. Jan. 24, 2020 Elliot: 977 Sarah: 711 Nananse: 620 Tedd: 792 Diane: 235 Ashley: 228 Susan: 535 Mon. Jan. 27, 2020 Tedd: 793 Elliot: 978 Sarah: 712 Wed. Jan. 29, 2020 Elliot: 979 Tedd: 794 Sarah: 713 Nanase: 621 Fri. Jan. 31, 2020 Elliot: 980 Sarah: 714 Diane: 236 Nanase: 622 Justin: 459 *We're one month into the year, and no one outside the main cast has appeared yet. FULL COUNT

The very last one! On January 26 in History: 661 - The fourth (and last) Rashidun caliph, Ali ibn Abi Talib, is assassinated. As, of course, is tradition. 945 - Constantine VII overthrows co-emperors Stephen and Constantine to take full control of the Byzantine throne for himself. Notably, he does not kill them, as would be tradition, but forces them to become monks, because he is not without a sense of humor. 1531 - A major earthquake and subsequent tsunami and aftershocks kill an estimated 30,000 people in Lisbon. Naturally, the Jews are blamed, because why not, but a massacre is averted when poet/playwright Gil Vicente writes a letter to the king and scolds the city's friars for fearmongering. Well, at least they'll be prepared of anything like this ever happens again, eh? 1565 - The defeat of the Vijayanagara Empire by the alliance of the five Deccan sultanates at the Battle of Talikota spells the beginning of the downfall of the last Hindu kingdom in India, and the eventual Islamic domination of the subcontinent. Well, at two to five thousand years, can't say they didn't have a good run. 1699 - With the Treaty of Karlowitz between themselves and the Holy League, for the first time after hundreds of years of expansion the Ottomans must cede territory to European Christians instead of the other way around. "Oh, so that's what that feels like. Well shit, I don't like this at all." 1788 - Arthur Philip sails the British First Fleet into Port Jackson, Australia to establish a penal colony. "Wow, this place is bloody incredible. You sure you want to waste it on a bunch of convicts? Why not just leave them in Britain and the rest of us can come here?" 1823 - Edward Jenner dies of a stroke at the age of 73, which he was able to attain because he didn't have to worry about dying young of smallpox. 1856 - U.S. Marines, together with a group of armed settlers, fight off a Native American attack in the first Battle of Seattle, now commemorated every year by a college basketball game. 1930 - The Indian National Congress declares today the day of complete independence ("Purna Swaraj") for India. Jumping the gun a little bit, aren't you, guys? 1934 - Germany and Poland sign a non-aggression pact. "What's so funny?" ~Poland 1945 - Audie Murphy holds off a German tank and infantry advance for an hour, by himself. With a wounded leg. With a single M10 tank destroyer, which is on fire. Not only will he receive the Medal of Honor for this, but when he later portrays himself reenacting the events in the Hollywood movie based on his own book, they have to tone it down for fear people will think it too unrealistic. Rambo freaking wishes he were Audie Murphy. 1950 - The constitution of India comes into a effect, with Rajendra Prasad as the country's first president. Nice timing. 1961 - Wayne Gretzky is born. I'd have to turn in my Canadian membership card if I didn't mention this. (It's a Tim Horton's coupon). 1962 - Mob boss Lucky Luciano dies of a heart attack when his namesake finally gives out. 1998 - Bill Clinton denies having "sexual relations" with Monica Lewinsky on national television. Geez, can you stand the balls on this guy? A president lying to our faces on national TV? At least it's not about something important. Can you imagine? 2020 - A helicopter crash in California kills Kobe Bryant, which is sad, but it also kills his 13 year old daughter, which I feel like is the bigger tragedy that weirdly no one is talking about.

Only one more of these left after today! On January 23 in History: 393 - Theodosius the Great makes his 8 year old son Honorius co-emperor, continuing the sacred Roman tradition of making children the most powerful people in the empire. 1264 - Louis IX of France hands down a settlement between Henry III of England and Simon de Montfort (leader of the rebellious barons), known as the Mise of Amiens. It is blatantly one-sided in favor of Henry. This means rebellion! 1368 - "Call me the Hongwu Emperor. China is Ming now. Get used to it." ~The General Formerly Known As Zhu Yuanzhang 1556 - The deadliest earthquake in recorded history, killing an estimated 830,000 people, occurs in Shaanxi Province in China. Roland Emmerich purchases the film rights. 1570 - The first known assassination by firearm takes place. The victim is the 1st Earl of Moray, one James Stewart, regent for the infant King of Scotland, one James Stuart. Yeah, that sounds right. 1795 - The French capture 14 Dutch ships in the Zuiderzee (a bay of the North Sea) with a cavalry charge. It makes sense in context. 1849 - Elizabeth Blackwell earns her M.D. from Geneva Medical College in New York, becoming America's first lady doctor. For those who don't know, it's pronounced "doctor"; the "lady" is silent. 1879 - Just over 150 British troops successfully defend the mission station of Rorke's Drift against three to four thousand Zulu warriors. It was Michael Caine's big break; you should see it. 1944 - Death comes for Edvard Munch, just as he had foreseen the night he created his most famous painting. 1964 - The 24th Amendment outlaws poll taxes in the United States. "Damn. We'll have to think of another way to keep poor black people from voting. How do y'all feel about ID laws?" 1989 - Death comes for Salvador Dalí, just as he had foreseen when he made...whatever the hell any of that is. 1998 - Netscape announces Mozilla, giving a final F U to Microsoft with its dying breath. 2001 - Five people set themselves on fire in Tienanmen Square. Chinese state media says they were members of Falun Gong, and so it's good that the government persecutes such a dangerous ideology. Falun Gong members and independant journalists say it was staged to give credence to government persecution of Falun Gong. So I guess we'll never know.

I've heard it claimed that, with regard to impeachment, the Democrats have cried wolf too many times, and that even if there were something to it this time, Republicans will not be inclined to listen, hence its dismissal as a purely partisan act. But that only works as an analogy if, in the story, each time the boy cried for help, there actually was a wolf, but the townspeople pretended there wasn't, because they just didn't like the boy and were hoping his sheep would get eaten. Or they feared what the wolf would do to them if they acknowledged it. Or they were, in fact, wolves themselves.

Probably. And then, well, I assume he'd next hit 1,001. Wed. Jan. 8, 2020 Nanase: 617 Susan: 532 Diane: 230 Sarah: 704 Fri. Jan. 10, 2020 Sarah: 705 Susan: 533 Ashley: 226 (2020 debut) Grace: 895 (2020 debut) Mon. Jan. 13, 2020 Tedd: 787 Sarah: 706 Diane: 231 Justin: 456 (2020 debut) Elliot: 972 Wed. Jan. 15, 2020 Tedd: 788 Elliot: 973 Sarah: 707 Justin: 457 Nanase: 618 Ellen: 697 (2020 debut) Susan: 534 Diane: 232 Fri. Jan. 17, 2020 Ashley: 227 Grace: 896 Elliot: 974 Diane: 233 Tedd: 789 Sarah: 708 Mon. Jan. 20, 2020 Sarah: 709 Elliot: 975 Tedd: 790 Justin: 458 *The whole main cast have made their debuts now. Any early predictions on who takes the #1 spot this year? FULL COUNT

On January 19 in History: 379 - Theodosius I is raised to Augustus and made emperor of the East on promises to Build The Wall! Build The Wall! 1419 - Henry V of England takes Rouen, completing his conquest of Normandy. "I have no idea how I feel about this." ~William the Conqueror 1795 - The Dutch Republic is replaced by the Batavian Republic, which is still Dutch, but more republic. Thanks, Napoleon. 1809 - Birth of Edgar Allan Poe, which isn't creepy at all so there isn't any ready-made allusion or reference to be made. Curses! 1817 - General José de San Martín and his army cross the Andes from Argentina to Chile on a mission of liberation. Sadly, no elephants. 1874 - Future Yokozuna Hitachiyama Taniemon is born. Props to his mom, if you get my drift. 1876 - Future Yokozuna Wakashima Gonshirō is born. This weird coincidence is the only reason either of these two are on here in the first place. 1953 - 71.9% of all American television sets tune in to "I Love Lucy" to watch the episode where Lucy give birth. In a related story, Desi Arnaz, Jr. is born. 1963 - The birth of John Bercow causes quite a stir until someone yells, "ORDAAHHH! ORDAAAHHH!" 1969 - Czech student protester Jan Palach dies due to complications arising from setting himself on fire three days ago. 1981 - Iran agrees to release 52 American hostages they've been holding for over a year. Tomorrow Reagan will swoop in and take all the credit.

On January 17 in History: 395 - Death of Theodosius I, the last Roman emperor to rule both the West and the East together. It's all downhill from here - for one half much faster than the other. 1468 - Death of Skanderbeg. Well, Albania, hope you enjoyed your independence while you had it. 1562 - In her capacity as Regent of France, Catherine de' Medici grants Huguenots the right to live. Awfully generous of her. 1595 - Former Huguenot King Henry IV of France (and III of Navarre, as if that matters) declares war on Spain to show Catholics that Spain was just using religion as a pretense to mess with French affairs, and to prove to Protestants that just because he's Catholic now, he's no Spanish puppet. And hey, if he can get some territory out of the deal, he won't complain, if you know what I mean. 1608 - Susenyos I of Ethiopia surprises and crushes an Oromo army at the town of Ebenat, suffering 400 losses from his own troops in order to kill 12,000. Agincourt didn't have that good a ratio. 1811 - 6,000 Spanish troops defeat 100,000 Mexican revolutionaries at the Battle of Calderón Bridge. Ebenar what? 1888 - Death of Big Bear, powerful Cree chief and unwitting namesake of the stuffed polar bear by grandparents got me when I was a baby. 1893 - A handful of American missionaries and businessmen overthrow Queen Liliʻuokalani of Hawai'i and take over. Do you think Uncle Sam will notice us now? 1893 again - Dearth of Rutherford B. Hayes, #1 on the list of presidential first names unlikely to be repeated. 1917 - The U.S. buys the Virgin Islands from Denmark. Important note: this does not mean Greenland is also for sale! 1920 - "That's it! No more booze!" ~Andrew Volstead 1931 - Birth of James Earl Jones. If he could be turned, he would be a powerful ally. 1961 - In his farewell address, President Dwight D. Eisenhower warns the American people against the accumulation of power by what he calls the military industrial complex. NARRATOR: They didn't listen. 1964 - Birth of Michelle Obama, who of course wasn't called that at the time. That'd be weird. 1989 - Birth of Kelly Marie Tran, the actress who was bullied so badly by toxic Star Wars fans that she had to quit social media and go into therapy - an experience she shares with actor Jake Lloyd, who portrayed a young Anakin Skywalker, who grows into Darth Vader, who's voiced by fellow birthday person James Earl Jones. I feel like Kevin Bacon should be involved somehow. 1992 - On a visit to South Korea, Japanese prime minister Kiichi Miyazawa apologizes for forcing Korean women into sexual slavery during WW2. Japan in general, not him personally. Gods, that'd be awkward. 1998 - Drudge Report scoop: President Clinton has affair with intern! Let the pearl clutching commence! 2008 - Bobby Fischer loses his chess match with Death.

On January 16 in History: 27 BCE - Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus is granted the title of Augustus, which basically means "The majestic" or "The venerable". The fact that future generations will basically treat this as his name should tell you something. 378 - General General Siyaj K'ak' ("Fire Is Born") conquers Tikal for King Spearthrower Owl of Teotihuacán. Man, Mesoamerican history is so cool. Augustus who? 550 - The Ostrogoths under King Totila reconquer Rome back again, and the eternal tug-o-war continues. 929 - The Caliphate of Córdoba is established by Abd-ar-Rahman III, who's tired of just being an emir. Apparently you can do that. 1547 - Grand Duke Ivan IV of Muscovy is now Tsar of Russia, which is thing he made up, but nobody tell him that. This is Terrible news for anyone who is not Russian, and to be honest for a lot of people who are. 1605 - Miguel de Cervantes publishes part one of El ingenioso hidalgo Don Quijote de la Mancha, the world's first novel. "Am I a joke to you?" ~Murasaki Shikibu 1707 - Scottish Parliament okays the merger with England into Great Britain. They will come to regret this on and off. 1710 - Japanese emperor Higashiyama dies after a 22 year reign of doing absolutely nothing, as of course is tradition. 1945 - Adolf Hitler gets a change of address. He lives underground now. But don't listen to Allied propaganda; everything's gong fine. 1979 - Mohammad Reza Pahlavi, last Shah of Iran, flees with his family to Egypt. "Did we do thaaaaaat?" ~U.S. and U.K. 1980 - Birth of Lin-Manuel Miranda, honorary president of the "Make History Cool Again" club I just made up. 1991 - Coalition forces led by the U.S. go to war with Iraq. A quick in and out, easy peasy; this'll settle the region down for a good long while. 2006 - Ellen Johnson Sirleaf is elected president of Liberia, the first female head of state in all of Africa. Still waiting, America. He said, while waving a Bernie 2020 placard.

On January 13 in History: 532 - The Nika riots begin in Constantinople. Imagine if the two most powerful political parties in the country were Manchester United fans and Man City fans, and both of them were more pissed off at the government than they were at each other. 1847 - Alta California, at this point still part of Mexico, signs the Treaty of Cahuenga with the United States, effectively sitting out the rest of the war and going about their business. Wait, you can do that? 1898 - Émile Zola publicly accuses the French government of anti-Semitism over the imprisonment of Alfred Dreyfus, and in the process gives us a fun new gotcha phrase. 1998 - Gay Italian writer Alfredo Ormando sets himself on fire in St. Peter's Square in the Vatican near where John Paul II is addressing the crowd. The Church claims this was not an act of protest against them, while a letter from Ormando himself says it was. So I guess we'll never know for sure. 2018 - Hawaiians don't need any coffee this morning, as a widespread alert warning of an incoming missile attack advising everyone to seek immediate shelter also includes the phrase, "This is not a drill." False alarm. Whoopsie.

Filling another hole. On January 8 in History: 871 - King Æthelred of Wessex and his Great younger brother Alfred wallop a bunch of Danes at the Battle of Ashdown. That'll teach 'em. Bet they'll never mess with England again. 1297 - François Grimaldi disguises himself and his men as monks and takes over the fortress on the Rock of Monaco. Guess everyone considers this legit, because his descendants still have it. 1642 - Death of Galileo. And let us never speak of his heresies again. 1746 - Bonnie Prince Charlie occupies the town of Stirling near the end of the Second Jacobite Rrising. Lol, he's still trying to win. 1806 - Cape Colony in South Africa is officially British now. They don't have anything against the Dutch per se; they just don't want Napoleon to have it. 1815 - American forces under Andrew Jackson defeat the British at New Orleans in a war that's been over for two weeks. But let's be real; even if Jackson knew that, it probably wouldn't have made any difference. 1828 - In the U.S., the Democratic Party is officially formed. They will run aforementioned lunatic Andrew Jackson as their presidential candidate. What a bunch of jackasses. 1926 - Abdul-Aziz ibn Saud is crowned King of Hejaz. Add this to what he already head, he now controls a hung chunk of Arabia. Maybe even enough to name it after his family. 1935 - A really cool musician is born. His name is Elvis. You probably haven't heard of him, but you should check out some of his stuff. 1936 - Reza Shah of Iran tells police to enforce his ban on traditional Islamic garb, authorizing them to physically and forcefully remove women's hijabs in public if necessary. Talk about the pendulum swinging the other way. 1942 - Stephen Hawking is born, and is immediately the smartest one in the room. 1964 - U.S. President El BJ declares war on poverty. Many apparently misinterpret this as a war on poor people and act accordingly. 1984 - The North Korean Supreme Leader's fifth grandchild, Kim Jong-un, is born. No worries; I'm sure we'll find something for him to do. A nice cushy government bureaucrat job perhaps.

First of the few holes I need to fill in. Last year I didn't decide to just do every day that wasn't done until the last week of January, so there are still a few empty days left. On January 7 in History: 1502 - Future Pope Gregory XIII is born, which we know thanks to the calendar that bears his name. 1558 - French troops take Calais, the last English possession on the continent. "And don't come back over here for any reason, ever!" 1608 - Jamestown, Virginia, established last year, is destroyed in a fire. Oh, well. Easy come, easy go. Let's head on back to England then eh, chaps? 1610 - Galileo sees some weird shit floating around Jupiter. Four weird shits, to be specific. 1785 - Jean-Pierre Blanchard and an American named John Jeffries are the first people to fly over the English Channel, from Dover to Calais. Boy were their arms tired. 1800 - Birth of future accidental U.S. president Millard Fillmore, the one president nobody - not even presidential scholars - knows or cares anything about. 1891 - Birth of Harlem Renaissance writer Zora Neale Hurston, who incidentally was also an anthropologist whose research included, among other things, Hoodoo. Proof that you can pick more than one lane and still crush it. 1940 - A numerically superior Soviet force is completely stomped by Finns at the Battle of Raate Road, who chase what's left of them the hell out of Finland. Soviet historians like to pretend this never happened. 1943 - Death of Nikola Tesla, and our last best chance at unlimited clean, free energy. 1959 - The U.S. recognizes Fidel Castro's government in Cuba. "But we don't have to like it." 1985 - Japan launches Sakigake, the first deep space probe launched by anyone other than the U.S. or the Soviet Union. Wait wait, is that even allowed? Who told other countries they can do things? 1989 - Death of Japanese Emperor Hirohito, who is usually associated with a different period of the twentieth century. 1999 - Beginning of the senate impeachment trial for U.S. president Bill Clinton. Wow, can you imagine? This has only ever happened once before; what are the odds of a president being impeached in our lifetime? 2015 - Two assholes shoot up the office of satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo in Paris. If their goal is to weaken French resolve, they have failed miserably.

Let's get this new decade rollin'! Wed. Jan. 1, 2020 Tedd: 786 (2020 debut) Elliot: 971 (2020 debut) Sarah: 703 (2020 debut) Diane: 229 (2020 debut) Fri. Jan. 3, 2020 Nanase: 615 (2020 debut) Susan: 530 (2020 debut) Mon. Jan. 6, 2020 Nanase: 616 Susan: 531 FULL COUNT

It's a new decade! Which means the following things are now TEN YEARS OLD: -Burj Khalifa -The Vancouver Olympics -Deepwater Horizon oil spill -Vuvuzelas at the World Cup -Instagram -Toy Story 3 -Inception -The Walking Dead -Mockingjay (the book) -Thank Me Later (Drake album) TWENTY YEARS OLD: -The last Peanuts strip -PS2 -DeviantART -Gamecube -Gladiator -The first X-Men movie -Gilmore Girls -Curb Your Enthusiasm -Survivor -Dora the Explorer -Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire -A Storm of Swords -Oops!... I Did it Again by Britney Spears -The Sims THIRTY YEARS OLD: -Democracy in Bulgaria, Romania -Smoking bans on airplanes -Pale Blue Dot photo -Namibia -Unified Germany -The National Cathedral -The Gulf War -The Channel Tunnel -SNES -Home Alone -Total Recall -The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air -Goodfellas -Edward Scissorhands -Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice -Liam Hemsworth -Emma Watson -Margot Robbie -Jennifer Lawrence -Bo Burnham -Kim Yuna FIFTY YEARS OLD -All My Children -The Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty -Earth Day -Let It Be (Beatles album) -Apollo 13 mission -Doonesbury -EPA -M*A*S*H* (the movie) -The Mary Tyler Moore Show -Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin -Mariah Carey -Simon Pegg -Melania Trump -Tina Fey -Matt Damon ONE HUNDRED YEARS OLD -ACLU -Nazis -The Olympic flag (and five ring symbol) -Women's suffrage in the U.S. -NFL -Domestic radio sets -Haribo candy company

Man, I love these. 2019 FINAL ROUNDUP! Characters Introduced This Year Gordon "Smoke" Kitty Characters Returning After a Year or More (Parenthesis indicate year of most recent previous appearance) Dan (2011) Inner Tiffany (2012) Inner Susan (2012) Liz (2015) Lisa (2016) Catalina (2016) Rhea (2016) Jeremy (2017) This Year's Count (Main characters bold, new characters italic) Grace: 74 Ashley: 55 Sarah: 54 Elliot: 44 Tedd: 43 Justin: 30 Diane: 30 Nanase: 28 Ellen: 28 Susan: 26 Sam: 25 Lisa: 15 Liz: 11 "Smoke": 6 Rhoda: 5 Mr. Verres: 4 Catalina: 4 Mr. Tensaided: 3 Jeremy: 2 Voltaire: 2 Gordon: 2 Dan: 1 Noah: 1 Lucy: 1 Pandora: 1 Inner Tiffany: 1 Inner Susan: 1 George: 1 Arthur: 1 Rhea: 1 Elijah: 1 Rick: 1 Luke: 1 Camdin: 1 Kitty: 1 *This is Grace's first time in the top spot since 2014, and her 6th time overall. Only Elliot has more (7). **The first time since 2010, and only the sixth time ever, that the main cast are all grouped together at the top of the list.

Last one of the year! Mon. Nov. 25, 2019 Ashley: 217 Sarah: 693 (tied w/ Ellen for 4th) Wed. Nov. 27, 2019 Nanase: 610 Sarah: 694 (now in 4th) Ashley: 218 Fri. Nov. 29, 2019 Tedd: 778 Diane: 223 Ashley: 219 Justin: 453 Sarah: 695 Nanase: 611 Mon. Dec. 2, 2019 Ashley: 220 Sarah: 696 Diane: 224 Tedd: 779 Mon. Dec. 9, 2019 Elliot: 967 Tedd: 780 Sarah: 697 Ashley: 221 Grace: 890 Wed. Dec. 11, 2019 Elliot: 968 Diane: 225 Justin: 454 Tedd: 781 Sarah: 698 Nanase: 612 Susan: 527 Ellen: 694 Fri. Dec. 13, 2019 Ashley: 222 Grace: 891 Mon. Dec. 16, 2019 Ashley: 223 Grace: 892 Wed. Dec. 18, 2019 Grace: 893 Ashley: 224 Tedd: 782 Sarah: 699 Fri. Dec. 20, 2019 Tedd: 783 Sarah: 700 (4th) Elliot: 969 Ashley: 225 Grace: 894 Ellen: 695 Nanase: 613 Justin: 455 Diane: 226 Mon. Dec. 23, 2019 Tedd: 784 Diane: 227 Sarah: 701 Susan: 528 Mon. Dec. 30, 2019 Diane: 228 Sarah: 702 Susan: 529 Nanase: 614 Tedd: 785 Elliot: 970 Ellen: 696 FULL COUNT

This is it! The 30th and the 31st are already done, so this is the last one. There are a couple of holes in January I need to fill in, true, but for all intents and purposes I have now completed the entire calendar. Only took six years. On December 29 in History: 1170 – Four knights loyal to Henry II of England arrive in Canterbury to rid him of that turbulent priest. 1835 - The Cherokee cede all of their land east of the Mississippi River to the United States in the lastest treaty. "I am altering the deal; pray I don't alter it any further." ~Andrew Jackson 1845 - The U.S. annexes nine year old Republic of Texas, which of course was the plan all along. 1874 - The First Spanish Republic falls to a military coup after less than two years, and the monarchy is restored. "Not so easy, is it?" ~France 1911 - Mongolia obtains its independence from the disintegrating Qing dynasty. "Wait for us!" ~China 1934 - "You know those international treaties we signed regulating the sizes of everyone's navies? Yeah, we're not going to do that." ~Japan 1936 - Mary Tyler Moore is born. She smiles for the first time and the world is turned back on. The bigger question is: who turned it off in the first place? 1937 - The Irish Free State would like everyone to know that they're just called Ireland now; and also, you can take your Commonwealth and shove it. 1989 - Václav Havel, a writer, philosopher, and political dissident, is elected the first president of Czechoslovakia after the end of communism. He'll also be the last, but for a different reason. 1992 - Brazilian president Fernando Collor de Mello resigns in an attempt to avoid impeachment, but is impeached anyway. "You can't quit; you're fired!" 1996 - The Guatemalan Civil War ends after 36 years. Holy shit; anyone born there as far back as 1960 has known war for their entire life. Kind of puts our current problems in perspective. Doesn't make them any better; just gives some perspective. 1998 - Official Khmer Rouge statement re: 1970s genocide and 1 million+ deaths: "Sorry. Our bad."

On December 28 in History: 1065 - Consecration of Edward the Confessor's rebuilt church at Westminster Abbey. Just in time for his successors to be crowned in it! 1795 - Construction of Yonge Street begins in York, Upper Canada (now Toronto). Commonly believed to be the longest street in the world, it actually isn't, because the vast majority of what is counted toward that record is really just Highway 11, according to people who hate cool things. 1832 - John C. Calhoun is the first Vice President of the United States to resign. Considering the president he served under was Andrew Jackson, he probably dodged a bullet. Perhaps literally. 1836 - South Australia is founded, along with its capital, Adelaide (named after William IV's queen consort). Hmm, naming stuff for the queen. D'ya know, that's not a bad idea, mate. Let's just keep doing that. 1836 - Fifteen years after Mexico won its independence, Spain officially gives up any pretense of them ever reconquering it. 1922 - Birth of Stanley Martin Lieber, who will later do away with all but the first syllables of his first and last name. I think I saw him in a movie once. 2016 - Debbie Reynolds dies, because the universe feels that Billie Lourd is not yet suffering enough.

On December 27 in History: 527 - Construction is completed on the Hagia Sophia. May it stand as a symbol of the one unified Christian church for all eternity. 1512 - The Laws of Burgos are issued by the Spanish Crown, forbidding the maltreatment of indigenous peoples in the New World, and encouraging their conversion to Christianity. Um, I've noticed a problem. 1831 - Charles Darwin sets out on a trip on the HMS Beagle. Hurry up and get back so you can do some actual work, slacker. 1922 - The Japanese ship Hōshō is the world's first aircraft carrier to be designed and built for that purpose. With a head start like that, they'll have a huge advantage over Western powers in carrier warfare. 1929 - Joseph Stalin, in order to facilitate the collectivization of farmland, has landowning peasants (known as "kulaks") rounded up and killed (or sometimes just imprisoned). We're the Soviets! We solve problems. 1949 - The Netherlands recognizes the independence of Indonesia. This sounds rather magnanimous of them, until you realize there isn't really much they can do about it. 1978 - Spain officially becomes a democracy, thanks to the restoration of the monarchy. It makes sense in context. 1989 - The Romanian Revolution ends when everyone basically just decides to stop fighting. After all, the former communist leader was executed two days ago; what are we even still doing? 2007 - Benazir Bhutto is assassinated, despite the fact that she hasn't been Prime Minister or even Leader of the Opposition in Pakistan for like, eight years. Get with the times, political terrorists. 2009 - Faced with crowds protesting the recent election in the capital of Iran, authorities shoot at them. After all, can't protest if you're dead, right? This plan is foolproof. 2016 - Carrie Fisher becomes one with the Force, because the year that took so many from us couldn't just leave quietly without punching us in the gut one last time.