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      Welcome!   03/05/2016

      Welcome, everyone, to the new 910CMX Community Forums. I'm still working on getting them running, so things may change.  If you're a 910 Comic creator and need your forum recreated, let me know and I'll get on it right away.  I'll do my best to make this new place as fun as the last one!

Illjwamh

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Illjwamh last won the day on February 5

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About Illjwamh

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  1. This Day In History

    On June 25 in History: 1530 - At the Diet of Augsburg, a bunch of Lutheran princes present a document to the Holy Roman Emperor explaining exactly what their faith entails. "Well, that clears everything up. Why didn't you just say so?" 1678 - Venetian polymath Elena Cornaro Piscopia graduates from the University of Padua, the first woman to ever earn a PhD. But it's in *philosophy*. 1876 - At the Battle of Little Bighorn, Lt. Gen. George Armstrong Custer does what every military commander dreads: goes down in history for losing terribly. 1938 - Douglas Hyde is inaugurated as the first President of Ireland, a sort of fancy mascot. 1947 - The Diary of a Young Girl is published. Full of dangling plot threads and ultimately feels unfinished; one star. 1950 - "Surprise, motherf******!" ~ North Korea 1975 - Mozambique obtains independence from Portugal. Wow, didn't realize that was still a thing. 1978 - The gay pride rainbow flag is flown for the first time at the San Francisco Gay Freedom Day Parade. It contains the seven colors of the rainbow plus pink - because why not - and is intended to evoke joy, peace, coexistence, and I guess leprechauns? 1991 - Croatia and Slovenia both declare their independence from Yugoslavia. Smart move, dividing their focus. The won't know which one to retaliate against. 1993 - The good news: Kim Campbell becomes Canada's first female prime minister. The bad news: outside of restructuring the cabinet, she'll be utterly ineffective. 1997 - The NHL approves expansion franchises in Nashville and Atlanta, two cities widely known for their thriving winter sports scene. Also Columbus and Minneapolis-St. Paul for some reason.
  2. This Day In History

    On June 24 in History: 217 BCE - Hannibal traps the Romans army under Gaius Flaminius in the largest ambush in military history and utterly crushes them at the Battle of Lake Trasimene. And when I say "largest in history", I don't mean up until that point. Ouch. 474 - Julius Nepos forces usurper Glycerius to abdicate and assumes the title Emperor of Rome, whatever that's worth anymore. Long may he reign? 637 - Irish High King Domnall II fights King Congal Cáech of Ulaid and King Domnall Brecc of Dál Riata at the Battle of Moira, the largest ever fought on Irish soil. He wins, by the way. Oh, and Congal, who is killed, was his foster son. Awkward. 1128 - Count (later Prince and then King) Afonso Henriques of Portugal obtains independence from León and Castile by defeating his mother, Teresa of Portugal, his predecessor who had also fought for Portuguese independence, at the Battle of São Mamede. Look, I don't get it either. 1210 - Future Count Floris IV of Holland is born. This in itself isn't notable, until...well, you'll see. 1254 - Future Count Floris V, grandson of the above, is born. Sadly, the old count has been dead for twenty years and can't appreciate this thoughtful birthday gift. 1340 - Edward III's ragtag navy patched together from requisitioned merchant ships, and severely outnumbered by France's professional navy of purpose-built galleys and warships, nevertheless almost completely destroys said navy at the Battle of Sluys, giving the English control of the Channel. An auspicious (or inauspicious, depending on which side you're on) opening volley of the Hundred Years' War. 1374 - A bunch of people in Aachen, Germany, get up and start dancing in the street for no discernible reason. Hundreds more join them. They keep dancing uncontrollably until they collapse from exhaustion. Some even die. This is the first major outbreak of what will become an epidemic across Europe, and nobody knows what the hell is going on. This is a real thing that happened. 1812 - Napoleon and his army cross the Neman River, falling victim to the most famous of the classic blunders. 1880 - O Canada is performed for the first time. A hundred years from now, it will become the country's official national anthem, despite "The Maple Leaf Forever" being right there. 1950 - "This is our space. You guys stay over there." ~South Africa 1995 - South Africa defeats New Zealand to win the Rugby World Cup, and their black president presents the trophy to the white team captain. Moving enough in itself, but look what today's the anniversary of. 2013 - Former Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi is sentenced to seven years in prison (none of which he'll actually spend in prison) and a six year ban on holding office (wait, why is this shorter than his prison sentence?) for abuse of power and having sex with an underage prostitute. Meanwhile, the Italian people are just counting the days before they can vote for him again.
  3. This Day In History

    On June 23 in History: 79 - Vespasian, one of the few Roman emperors who knew what the fuck he was doing, makes a rare mistake by dying, and leaving the empire to his natural born son(s). 1314 - King Robert the Bruce of Scotland decisively defeats a much larger invading English force under Edward II at the Battle of Bannockburn. "Can you imagine them being beaten by so badly by such a smaller force? I bet the Scots will never shut up about this one!" say the French, laughing. 1611 - Henry Hudson, his son, and seven loyal crew members are set adrift in an open boat by his mutinous crew, never to be heard from again. But hey, at least they name the bay after him, so there's that. 1757 - 3,000 troops of the British East India Company defeat 50,000 soldiers under the Nawab of Bengal (many of whom had been bribed not to fight) to take control of Calcutta and essentially all of Bengal at the Battle of Plassey. Um, actually, it's Palashi. "Excuse me? Who won? We'll call it what we want." 1812 - Britain revokes restrictions on American commerce, unbeknownst to anyone five days after the U.S. had already declared war. That's gotta be embarrassing for everyone. 1917 - Boston Red Sox pitcher Ernie Shore retires 26 Washington Senators batters in a row - one short of a perfect game - after coming in to replace Babe Ruth, who'd been thrown out for punching an umpire. Something we've all wanted to do at one point or another. 1919 - The Battle of Cēsis firmly establishes that Estonia will not be subservient to Soviet Russia OR Germany, thank you very much. Never, you hear me? Never! 1942 - A German fighter pilot accidentally lands his plane - the very latest model - in Wales, where it is immediately captured and begun being studied for weaknesses. Whoopsie. 1972 - President Richard Nixon and his chief of staff are recorded talking about obstructing the FBI investigation into the break-in at the Watergate hotel. Good thing obstructing an investigation into himself isn't a thing a U.S. president can get in trouble for. 1991 - Sonic the Hedgehog is released. His teeth look hideous. 1996 - The Nintendo 64 is released. On Sonic's birthday! Now you're just being dicks. 2016 - The UK votes to shoot itself in the foot, punch itself in the dick, bite both hands that feed it, and cut off its nose to spite its face. Three years later, they're still getting around to it.
  4. What Are You Listening To?

    How to Train Your Dragon OST. Keep your Star Wars and your Pirates of the Caribbean and all the rest. This is flat out the best movie soundtrack I've ever heard.
  5. This Day In History

    On June 22 in History: 168 BCE - Lucius Aemilius Paullus defeats Macedonian king Perseus at the Battle of Pydna, ending the Third Macedonian War and Macedonian independence all in one go, as the Romans continue their quest to crush Alexander's legacy into dust. 813 - Krum leads his Bulgars to victory over Byzantium at the Battle of Versinikia, forcing emperor Michael I to abdicate. That's what happens when you catch the snitch. 1527 - Fatahillah kicks the Portuguese out of the port town of Sunda Kelapa and renames it Jakarta. You might have heard of it. 1593 - Christian forces - mostly Austrians and Croatians - turn back the Ottomans at the Battle of Sisak in Croatia. The Turks, however, have only just begun to fight. Oh, man, it's gonna be a Long War. 1633 - The Church forces Galileo to recant his idea of the Sun, not the Earth, being the center of the universe, in case you forgot that's a thing that happened. The fact that they're both wrong notwithstanding, this is still pathetically neophobic. 1813 - Laura Secord sets out to warn British-Canadian troops of an impending American attack on Beaver Dams, Ontario. A lot is made of Paul Revere's 20 mile ride, or Sybil Ludington's 40 mile ride, but while it's true Secord only had to travel about 20 miles as well, she did hers on foot. And, unlike Revere, she actually accomplished her mission. Oh! 1870 - The U.S. Congress creates the Department of Justice. It is to be the president's personal legal defense team. Wait, what? Let me check my notes; that can't possibly be right. 1898 - The U.S. Fifth Army Corps begins a somewhat disorganized landing at Daiquiri, Cuba. The Spanish general, Arsenio Linares y Pombo, is aware of this and outnumbers them roughly two to one, but doesn't do anything. In other words, it wasn't just American guts and grit that won this war. 1940 - Germany forces France to sign an armistice in the very same train car that the armistice of 1918 was signed in. But they're not bitter or anything. 1941 - Hitler falls victim to the most famous of the classic blunders. 1942 - U.S. Congress formally adopts the Pledge of Allegiance, because nothing says, "We're nothing like fascist Germany or Soviet Russia!" like forcing schoolchildren to recite a daily national loyalty pledge. 1949 - Meryl Streep is born. Several Academy Award statuettes are prepared in advance. 1986 - In the World Cup quarter-final match between England and Argentina, Diego Maradona scores not one, but two of the greatest goals in history. I know this not because I'm a football fan (I'm not), but because they both have names. That's right; these goals were so amazing that people named them.
  6. This Day In History

    On June 21 in History: 1377 - Edward III of England dies. On the one hand, he was old and feeble-minded; a shell of his younger heroic self. On the other hand, we're now left with a 10 year old king in the middle of a massive war with France. Hope he can handle it. 1582 - Oda Nobunaga is betrayed by his general Akechi Mitsuhide and commits suicide. He tells his page to burn down the temple they're in so that his enemies cannot have his head. As a result of this spectacular coup, Akechi gains...nothing. 1591 - St. Aloysius Gonzaga dies. Contrary to what Jimmy Kimmel might think, he is in fact a real person. 1791 - Louis XVI of France and his family attempt to escape Paris due to all the revolutioning going on. As they forget not to act like the king and his family, they are easily recognized and dragged back. 1898 - The U.S. captures the Spanish island of Guam. Now our empire is growing by leaps and bounds! 1919 - The remainder of the German naval fleet, interned at Orkney, is scuttled so as to prevent the allies from divvying them up amongst themselves. In the process, nine German sailors are shot and killed, making them officially the last casualties of WWI. The Danes take careful notes. 1940 - Italy tries to invade France. Oh, that's adorable. 1945 - The Battle of Okinawa ends after 82 days, over 240,000 deaths (including civilians), and thousands more wounded. "Right, lads. That does it for the little one. Another four like that, several hundred times the size, and we might just win this thing!" 1982 - Prince William of the UK is born, securing the succession for another generation. So is Jussie Smollett, who stages his own kidnapping from the post-natal ward because he doesn't like the prince stealing all the attention away from him. 2009 - Greenland to Denmark: "We'll take it from here."
  7. This Day In History

    On June 20 in History: 451 - An alliance of Romans, Visigoths, and some locals fight Attila the Hun's army at the Battle of Chalons. They are unable to prevent the Huns from looting and pillaging the countryside, but on the other hand, they do go home and don't establish any vassals in the region. So.....call it a W? 1180 - The First Battle of Uji takes place, opening the Genpei War. If you're Japanese, this is a big deal. If you're not, think of the First Battle of St Albans, or Lexington and Concord, or something. 1685 - James Scott, 1st Duke of Monmouth and illegitimate son of Charles II, proclaims himself King of England. It doesn't take. 1837 - A young princess named Victoria accedes to the British throne. Any bets on how long she lasts? 1893 - Lizzie Borden sits in trial; the jury has been out a while. They say that they don't think she did it, so dear Lizzie is acquitted. 1895 - The Kiel Canal is finished, severing the Jutland peninsula, and finally completing the mission of robbing Denmark of any mainland territory. 1942 - Four prisoners dressed in SS uniforms steal an SS staff car and drive away from Auschwitz concentration camp. I don't know if this would make a better epic Oscar-bait movie or a Three Stooges sketch. 1960 - The Mali Federation gains independence from France. "Yeah, this was great and all, but I dunno if we're gonna hang around for the after party." ~Senegal 1963 - Washington and Moscow establish the "Red telephone" link. For unknown reasons, it is shaped like a bat. 1990 - Asteroid Eureka, a Mars trojan (meaning they share an orbit) is discovered. But what did they say when they found it?
  8. This Day In History

    On June 19 in History: 325 - The burgeoning Church adopts a creed at the First Council of Nicaea that even staunch ex-Catholics like me still know in our bones. 1269 - Louis IX of France orders that any Jew found in public without a yellow badge is to be fined 10 livres of silver. I don't know how much that is, but it's still bullshit, and "It's not as bad as Auschwitz!" is not a valid defense. 1312 - Piers Gaveston, 1st Earl of Cornwall and best friend of King Edward II, is hunted down and killed by a group of nobles for being the best friend of King Edward II. 1586 - A bunch of colonists at Roanoke Island hitch a ride back to England with a passing Sir Francis Drake. You'll all be sorry when Roanoke becomes the capital of the New World. You could've been in on the ground floor! 1846 - The New York Baseball Club defeats the Knickerbockers 23-1 in the very first official baseball game in Hoboken, New Jersey. Goddamn Yankees. 1862 - U.S. Congress prohibits slavery in any of its territories. Take that, Dred Scott v. Sanford. 1865 - A bunch of slaves in Texas are informed that they've technically been free for over two years now. 1867 - Emperor Maximilian I of Mexico is executed by the country's republican government for trying to be the emperor of Mexico. 1910 - The very first Father's Day is celebrated in Spokane, WA. If you ever work at the YMCA there, they will make sure you know about this. 1943 - The Pittsburgh Steelers and the Philadelphia Eagles are forced to merge for a season due to war-related player shortages. The new team is dubbed the Steagles by fans, even though Steel Eagles was sitting right there. 1961 - Kuwait declares independence from the UK. That's another one; everybody take a shot! 1978 - Garfield debuts. It isn't funny, but it's easily marketable, which is exactly what Jim Davis was going for. 2012 - Julian Assange, founder of WikiLeaks, requests asylum at the Ecuadorian embassy in London so he won't be extradited to the U.S. for releasing classified documents. They should have been more wary when he asked, "And can I bring my skateboard?" 2013 - Actor James Gandolfini dies as a result of
  9. This Day In History

    On June 17 in History: 1397 - Denmark! Sweden! Norway! By your powers combined, I am...Kalmar Union! 1462 - Prince Vlad III of Wallachia (of impaling fame) leads a night attack on Ottoman sultan Mehmed II's camp outside the capital of Târgovişte in an attempt to assassinate him. It doesn't work, but when Mehmed later marches into the capital, you'll never guess what he finds there. I'll give you a hint: it's called the "Forest of" something. 1631 - Empress consort Mumtaz Mahal of the Mughal Empire dies in childbirth. Her husband, emperor Shah Jahan, resolves to build her a lovely little mausoleum. 1665 - Portugal to Spain after the Battle of Montes Claros: "And stay out!" 1767 - Samuel Wallis is the first European to reach Tahiti. It's a magical place. 1775 - British forces win a Pyrrhic victory over American colonial militia at the Battle of Bunker Hill, which...excuse me, I'm being interrupted by every pedantic schoolchild in America, telling me, "It was actually mostly fought on Breed's Hill". 1789 - "Fine! Then we'll make our own National Assembly! With blackjack! And hookers!" ~ The French Third Estate 1839 - Kamehameha III of Hawaii decides to allow Catholics. Not so much because he's a tolerant fellow, but more because he doesn't want to be attacked by France. 1885 - The Statue of Liberty arrives in New York Harbor, a gift from the French. "Make sure you put it out by the front door so they'll see it if they come to visit." 1940 - After taking Lithuania yesterday, the Soviet Union decides to have Latvia and Estonia for dessert. 1944 - Iceland declares itself an independent republic. As Denmark is currently otherwise occupied, there isn't much they can do about it. 1972 - Five White House operatives are arrested trying to bug the offices of the DNC. If this happened today, the press secretary would lie about it, pundits would argue about it on the news for a few days, and everyone would have forgotten by next week. 1994 - O.J. Simpson is arrested after the least exciting car chase in history. 2001 - The people of Bulgaria elect their former tsar, Simeon II, as their new prime minister. That'll go well. Oh! Oh, it actually does go well. Wow, fancy that. Go Bulgaria. 2015 - 9 people are killed at a shooting in a church in Charleston, South Carolina by a guy with white nationalist leanings and a confederate flag on his jacket. But I can't call him a terrorist because he's white.
  10. This Day In History

    On June 16 in History: 632 - Yazdegerd III becomes Shah of Sasanid Persia at age 8. Powerful court officials squabble for power and control, which is a shame since there's something happening a little beyond the western border that could use their attention. 1487 - Henry VII defeats Yorkist forces fighting for some random dude pretending to be Edward Plantagenet at the Battle of Stoke Field, putting an end to the Wars of the Roses. Now we can put this entire miserable century behind us. 1586 - Mary, Queen of Scots names Philip II of Spain as her heir and successor to the throne of Scotland, a kingdom she hasn't ruled or been in for eighteen and a half years, and England a country in which she is held prisoner and has never ruled at all. 1755 - The French surrender Fort Beauséjour on the Isthmus of Chignecto to the British, leading to the expulsion of the Acadians, and that's how we got gumbo. 1815 - French forces under Marshal Michel Ney successfully delay the Duke of Wellington's army at the Battle of Quatre Bras, preventing him from aiding Prussian forces at the Battle of Ligny, where Napoleon achieves a solid victory. All according to plan! 1858 - Abraham Lincoln explains what should be a very basic concept on the structural integrity of houses. 1897 - A treaty is signed annexing the Republic of Hawaii into the United States. Not consulted: native Hawaiians. 1904 - James Joyce goes on his first date with future wife Nora Barnacle. He will use this calendar date as the setting of his most famous book. Awwww! 1940 - A communist government is established in Lithuania. Not consulted: Lithuanians. 1963 - Valentina Tereshkova is the first woman in space. Why are we taught the names Yuri Gagarin and Neil Armstrong, but not hers? That's a rhetorical question. 1976 - A non-violent student protest involving over 20,000 participants takes place in Soweto, South Africa over being made to use Afrikaans (considered the language of Apartheid) in schools. It turns into a riot when the police decide to start shooting at them. God dammit. 1981 - Former Canadian ambassador to Iran is the first foreigner to be presented the Congressional Gold Medal by a U.S. president. He is given the honor due to the plot of Argo. 2000 - Israel withdraws from Lebanon a mere 22 years after the UN told them to. You know, except for a few farms here and there. 2010 - Bhutan is the first country in the world to completely ban tobacco. Smokey speakeasies presumably start popping up overnight.
  11. This Day In History

    On June 15 in History: 1189 - Tragic death of Minamoto no Yoshitsune, whose life and story is so epic you couldn't write a fictional account better. Japanese writers are aware of this, which is why this story is such a big part of their literary tradition. 1215 - King John of England is bullied into putting his seal to the Magna Carta. Between this and losing all his lands in France, he's really not doing a very good job. 1219 - The Danes and their allies win the Battle of Lyndanisse (Tallinn) against the pagan Estonian tribes in the Northern Crusade when a flag magically falls from the sky. Or something like that. 1246 - Duke Frederick II of Austria dies, and the House of Babenberg goes with him. This might just be the end of Austria altogether; this new house taking over, I'm not sure they've got the stuff. I've barely even heard of them. 1330 - Edward III's son Prince Edward is born. He is gifted a black onesie, and the rest is history. 1648 - Margaret Jones is hanged for witchcraft in Boston, the first time this happens anywhere in the Massachusetts Bay Colony. Let's hope it's also the last, eh? 1846 - The Oregon Treaty establishes the U.S./Canada border at the 49th parallel from the Rocky Mountains to the sea. It's a bit fuzzy on the islands, which we'll see in a minute. 1859 - An American farmer on San Juan Island - who may or may not have had a right to be there - shoots a pig belonging to an Irishman for allegedly eating his potatoes. This sparks an international incident that almost became a full on war between Britain and the U.S. Naturally, it's called the Pig War, because historians like to have fun too. 1888 - Wilhelm II becomes (the last) Kaiser of Germany in what will be called the Year of the Three Emperors. "Oh, three? Is that all?" yawns Ancient Rome. 1953 - Xi Jinping is born. The nurse accidentally swaps him with a talking plush Winnie the Pooh, and everyone is too embarrassed to say anything so they just go with it. 1977 - The first democratic elections take place in Spain, two years after the death of dictator Francisco Franco. King Juan Carlos is a BOSS. 1992 - The U.S. Supreme Court says is perfectly fine to "forcibly extradite" suspects of crimes from foreign countries to stand trial without the permission of those countries. So Batman's still on the up and up after all! 2012 - Nik Wallenda is the first person to walk a tightrope over Niagra Falls, because sure, why not?
  12. This Day In History

    On June 14 in History: 1216 - Winchester, the old capital of the Kingdom of Wessex, falls to Prince Louis of France in the First Barons’ War. It would appear it’s not enough for John Lackland to lose all of England’s land holdings in France; now he’s losing the ones in England, too. 1285 - Prince Trần Quang Khải kicks the snot out of the Mongol navy, mostly destroying it in a battle at Chuong Duong during the Second Invasion of Vietnam. This does not discourage the Mongols. 1777 - Congress adopts the Stars and Stripes as the flag of the United States. “A little ostentatious, don’t you think?” 1807 - Napoleon defeats the Russian army at the Battle of Friedland, ending whatever war we’re on now. France: 4, Coalitions: 0. 1900 - Hawaii officially becomes a U.S. territory. For the last two years, it has simply been “a place that we have.” 1907 - Norway grants women the right to vote. That’s right folks; Norway! More progressive than the U.S. for over a hundred years! 1940 - Germans in Paris: “Guess what? We’re taking it.” Meanwhile, in Lithuania: “Let us in,” says the USSR, “or we’ll come in anyway.” 1949 - Albert II, aboard a V-2 rocket, becomes the first monkey in space. No doubt his parents are very proud. 1954 - U.S. President Eisenhower signs a law putting the phrase "under God" into the coerced recitation of national loyalty we make children say every day at school, because freedom of religion isn't as important as making sure everyone knows we're not commies. 2017 - Grenfell Tower in North Kensington, London, catches fire because of a freezer, of all things, and burns for a really long time. 72 people die. The UK government is prompted to look into updating its fire and building codes, and Prime Minister Theresa May capitalizes on another opportunity to make herself look like a robot.
  13. This Day In History

    On June 13 in History: 313 - Co-emperors Constantine the Great and Valerius Licinius decriminalize loving Jesus. 823 - Future Holy Roman Emperor Charles is born. The bald one. 839 - Future Holy Roman Emperor Charles is born. The fat one. 1525 - Martin Luther marries Katharina von Bora despite the Church's celibacy rules. I guess he figured he'd burned all his bridges already; might as well get laid. 1625 - Charles I of England marries Henrietta Maria of France, a Catholic. I'm sure this won't cause any problems. 1777 - Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette arrives in Charleston, South Carolina to help train the Continental Army. In my mind, he struts off the gangplank to great fanfare, fireworks, throws out his arms and shouts, "What's up, bitches?!" 1917 - A German air raid is carried out on London - the deadliest of WWI - resulting in 162 deaths and over 400 injuries. Not to mention some significant property damage, probably. May Londoners never know such horror again. 1953 - Tim Allen is born. His parents take him home, where he proceeds to remodel his own crib. Horggh HORRGGH! 1966 - The U.S. Supreme Court says that police have to inform suspects of their right not to answer before asking any questions. This is probably the only detail of police work that cop shows come even close to getting right. 1981 - Teenager Marcus Sarjeant fires six blank shots at Queen Elizabeth II during a Trooping the Colour ceremony - whatever the hell British nonsense that is - for no other reason than that he wants to be famous. Mission accomplished? 1981 again - Chris Evans is born. A doctor slaps America's ass. 1983 - Pioneer 10 is the first man-made object to pass beyond the orbit of Neptune. Suck it, Voyager. 2000 - Canadian swimmer Penny Oleksiak is born, one of the first in a new race of hybrid fish people.
  14. This Day In History

    On June 12 in History: 918 - Death of Æthelflæd of Mercia, the most badass lady in England until...well, we're still waiting. 1550 - Helsinki, which you may remember as the capital city of Finland, is founded by King Gustav I of Sweden. Finns will tell you that aside from this, it's actually quite nice. It must be a bit awkward though to have your capital city be founded by foreign invaders. "Tell us about it," say the Irish. 1775 - British colonial authorities in Massachusetts offer a pardon to all colonists who willingly lay down their arms, with two exceptions: Samuel Adams and John Hancock. Fuck those guys; they've gotta go. 1821 - Badi VII of Funj (around the Sudan/Eritrea area) surrenders his kingdom to Isma'il Pasha, the Khedive of Egypt under the Ottoman Empire. He can be forgiven for betting on the wrong horse, as for him it was basically the only horse in town. Also, his town was a ruin and thus any horse at all a welcome addition. 1898 - The Philippines declare independence from Spain. "Not so fast," says the United States. 1942 - On her thirteenth birthday, Anne Frank receives a diary. "Oh, but when am I ever going to find time to write in it?" 1964 - Anti-apartheid activist Nelson Mandela is sentenced to life in prison for "sabotage" in South Africa. And thus he will be lost and forgotten to history. 1987 - Ronald Reagan gives some renovation and remodeling suggestions to Mikhail Gorbachev. 1991 - In response to an improvised explosive device set by Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam rebels, members of the Sri Lankan military brutally murder around 150 Tamil civilians in the village of Kokkadichcholai who had nothing to do with it. That'll teach 'em. 1994 - Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman are murdered outside her home by SOMEBODY. We may never know who. 2016 - 49 people are killed and 58 injured in an attack at a nightclub in Orlando, Florida by a domestic terrorist. We're allowed to call him that because for once, the shooter is not a cisgendered straight white man.
  15. This Day In History

    On June 9 in History: 411 BCE - A group of elites overthrows the democratic Athenian government to form an oligarchy. In the middle of a war with Sparta. On top of that, their new regime is suffering from factionalism even as they institute it. Meanwhile, memetic badass and mastermind Alcibiades cackles madly, the death sentence put on him by the democratic government now removed. 68 - Nero, upon hearing that the Senate was planning to apprehend him so as to publicly beat him to death (they actually just wanted to talk things out), decides to kill himself, but is too chicken to do it, so has his secretary do it for him. In other words, he took the coward's way out of the coward's way out. 630 - Shahrbaraz, king of Sasanid Persia, is murdered by his own nobles just forty days after usurping the throne. That they all just said "Yeah, sure!" at the first cry of "Long live the king!" should have tipped him off. 721 - "You shall not pass!" ~ Odo of Aquitaine to the armies of the Umayyad Caliphate, Battle of Toulouse 1815 - The Congress of Vienna concludes, establishing the rules for Europe for the next hundred years. 1870 - Charles Dickens's health falls on hard times. His loved ones find themselves in a bleak house, his publisher is now a haunted man. The chimes ring sadly at the old curiosity shop across the street and the cricket on the hearth plays a mournful dirge. ... Dead. He's dead. 1923 - A military coup takes place in Bulgaria, backed by the bougies. They don't realize they're starting a decadal tradition. 1944 - The Soviet Union invades Finnish Karelia, knowing there's nothing the allies can or will do about it. 1961 - Michael J. Fox is born. He looks suspiciously similar to a friend of his mom's from high school who showed up out of nowhere one day and disappeared without a trace a week later. 1967 - Israel captures the Golan Heights from Syria during the Six Day War. Let's hope the peace talks regarding the land claims are over just as quickly. 1978 - The Mormon Church decides after 148 years of forbidding it that black men can be priests after all. It's amazing how frequently God changes his mind on these kinds of issues. 1981 - Natalie Portman is born, and yet George Lucas would have you believe she is the mother of Luke and Leia, who are already in their early twenties. Nice try, Lucas! But anyone can see that none of this adds up at all. 2017 - Adam West passes away, and that's it for me today. Tune in next time for more This Day In History. Same bat-time, same bat-channel.