Illjwamh

On December 3 in History: 311 - Death of Diocletian, one of those rare Roman emperors who had a lick of sense. Fortunately, he put in place a system that should be able to hold things together even without him around to supervise. 1799 - The Austrians defeat the French at the Battle of Wiesloch in the War of the Second Coalition. Wait for it... 1800 - The French defeat the Austrians at the Battle of Hohenlinden, forcing them to sign an armistice to end the War of the Second Coalition. Ah, revenge is a dish best served IN YOUR STUPID FACES! 1912 - The Balkan League and the Ottoman Empire put their war on pause for a couple of months, I guess so they can be home for the holidays. Wait, you can do that? Suggestion: let's just never hit the unpause button. 1965 - The Beatles release Rubber Soul, an experimental folk album. The experiment was to see if the public is ready for Sgt. Pepper. 1976 - An assassination attempt is made on Bob Marley. The gunman will later confess to shooting him, but will deny shooting his back up singer. 1994 - Sony releases its Playstation in Japan. Pfft, they'll never dethrone Nintendo and Sega. 1997 - 121 countries sign a treaty in Ottawa agreeing to prohibit the manufacture and use of anti-personnel land mines. Among those not in attendance: Russia, China, and...The United States. Because of course.

It's the American way!

On December 2 in History: 1697 - Consecration of St. Paul's Cathedral in London. It's named after the old one that burnt down, and even though we're not Catholic anymore we're going to keep the name because too much change is gonna freak people out. 1804 - "By the power vested in me by the Emperor of the French, who is me, I crown myself Emperor of the French!" ~Napoleon 1823 - "We'll stay out of y'all's business over there and y'all stay out of our business over here." ~James Monroe to Europe 1845 - "The State of Our Union is manifesting its destiny all over them western lands." ~James K. Polk 1848 - Franz Josef I becomes Emperor of Austria. Get used to him; he'll be around for a while. 1851 - President Louis-Napoléon Bonaparte (later known as Emperor Napoleon III) overthrows the Second French Republic. "Yeah, this one's on us; we should have seen this coming." 1859 - John Brown is hanged for doing the right thing the wrong way. Still better than doing the wrong thing the right way. 1908 - Two year old Puyi becomes Emperor of China. Maybe it's time to start thinking about not having these anymore. 1927 - "Please, the Model T is so 19 years ago. It's all about the Model A now." ~Ford 1957 - Death of American actor Harrison Ford. No, not that one; calm down. 1961 - "Surprise! Cuba's communist now!" ~Fidel Castro 1968 - Lucy Liu comes into the world. She ages 30 years in 30 seconds and then stops forever. 1975 - The Pathet Lao organization takes control of the capital city of Vientiane and forces King Sisavang Vatthana to abdicate, ending roughly 30 years of turmoil "Surprise! Laos is communist now!" 1981 - Baby Britney Spears is born and accidentally hits the delivering doctor. She is asked to do it again.

Many dukes and counts and margraves and such were also independent sovereign rulers, but were not styled as kings for one reason or another, typically because their realm was not considered important or large enough or something like that. In all cases when these dynasties officially changed their title to "king", they had to petition the Pope for permission to do so. This is also why, until Napoleon, no one dared to style themselves as "Emperor", despite there being several times where by modern reckoning it would have been appropriate, as everyone knew there was only one emperor in Europe.

Only a month and change left to go! On December 1 in History: 1135 - Henry ! of England dies, to be succeeded by...what? Oh, this isn't gonna be good. 1521 - Takeda Shingen is born to the Daimyo of Kai Province and a tiger. 1640 - With João IV as their new king, Portugal breaks up with Spain for good. It's not us; it's you. 1822 - Coronation of Emperor Pedro ! of Brazil. When the rest of the royal family returned to Portugal, he was all, "I'll stay here, thanks." 1913 - Crete, having just recently won the right of self rule from the Ottoman Empire, is annexed by Greece. Easy come, easy go. 1918 - Transylvania unites with Romania to form...Romania. Somehow the balance seems off here. 1918 again - Iceland gains its sovereignty, though it remains part of the Danish Kingdom. Someone's going to have to explain that one to me as well. 1924 - For the first time, an NHL game is played in the United States: a home game for the Boston Bruins. Ugh, we're letting the Americans in? You know they're just going to ruin the whole thing. 1955 - Where does Rosa Parks sit on a bus? Anywhere she wants. 1977 - The TV network Pinwheel is launched in Ohio. It's known today as Nickelodeon, after executives decided the original name wasn't obscure and esoteric enough. 1990 - The Channel Tunnel sections from France and Britain meet. Now Britain is forever and inexorably tied to the continent! Nothing can ever rip her away! 1991 - The people of Ukraine vote overwhelmingly to become independent of the Soviet Union. No dirt on Joe Biden required.

Fresh, buttery popcorn. With chopsticks, natch.

Busy day yesterday. On November 29 in History: 618 - The Tang under Li Shimin defeat their rival in succeeding the Sui Dynasty, the Qin under Xue Rengao, at the Battle of Qianshuiyuan. There can be only one. 1394 - King Yi Seong-gye, founder of the Joseon Dynasty, moves his capital from Kaesong to Hanyang, a city with a bit more Seoul. 1777 - Pueblo de San José de Guadalupe becomes the first civilian settlement in Alta California. Man, we've really gotta start shortening these names. 1781 - 133 African slaves are thrown overboard from the British slave ship Zong in order to conserve dwindling water supplies and also to collect the insurance money. Killing two birds (and several dozen human beings, I can't stress that enough) with one stone. 1807 - Rather that hang around to get conquered by Napoleon, King João VI of Portugal up and moves his court to Brazil. I'm sure it won't be awkward or anything if the time ever comes to move back. 1830 - People in Poland begin the November Uprising against their Russian overlords. Nothing like waiting 'til the last minute. 1890 - The Meiji Constitution goes into effect, causing Japan to go on a Diet. 1898 - An infant later named C.S. Lewis is mysteriously found in a wardrobe. No one knows where he came from or how he got in there. 1944 - Albanian partisans liberate the country. If only they could have managed it yesterday! 1963 - Four chaps named John, Paul, George, and Ringo want to hold your hand. 1972 - Atari releases Pong. B for graphics, A for replayability, F for story. 2001 - Death of George Harrison. His guitar, and the rest of us, gently weep.

On November 28 in History: 1443 - Skanderbeg and his men liberate the town of Krujë and raise the Albanian flag. Ottomans: Eh, we'll stomp him out easily enough. Narrator: They would not. 1520 - Ferdinand Magellan's fleet passes through the strait at the southern end of South America. "While we're here, we really ought to come up with a name for it." 1785 - The U.S. acknowledges Cherokee lands in modern eastern Tennessee in the Treaty of Hopewell. Lol, crossies, doesn't count. 1843 - France and Britain formally recognize the independence and sovereignty of the Kingdom of Hawai'i. The United States does not join them. I'm sure that doesn't mean anything; don't read too much into it. 1893 - Women vote for the first time in New Zealand, beating both the U.S. and the U.K. by over twenty years. Sure, but what have you done lately? You know what, don't answer that; it's not going to make us look any better. 1912 - Albania declares independence from the Ottoman Empire. The sultan shakes his fist at the sky and shouts, "Skanderbeeeeeeeeg!" 1919 - Nancy Witcher Langhorne Astor, Viscountess Astor, is the first woman elected to British Parliament (to actually take her seat). "Wow, that's really cool; good for you!" ~New Zealand 1921 - Death of `Abdu'l-Bahá, head of the Bahá'í Faith and eldest son of its founder, Bahá'u'lláh. To continue an earlier analogy, think of him as the St. Peter. 1943 - To discuss strategy to bring down Hitler, Franklin Roosevelt and Winston Churchill meet in Tehran with the only world leader worse than Hitler. 1960 - Mauritania gains its independence from France. They name themselves after a kingdom from antiquity whose lands were far north of anything they currently control. 1962 - Birth of Jon Stewart, who will grow up to have a greater impact on the merging of politics and entertainment than perhaps anyone else alive today. The doctor hands him to his parents and says, "Here he is, your moment of zen." 1962 again - Death of Queen Wilhelmina of the Netherlands. She reigned for over 58 years and for most Dutch she's simply always been the monarch. "Cute. Hold my beer." ~Elizabeth II 1966 - Michel Micombero overthrows the monarchy of Burundi because he feels they are not committing enough genocide. 1975 - East Timor declares independence from Portugal. "Oh thank god, it's somebody else for a change." ~Great Britain 1987 - Karen Gillan is born. Her father immediately begins swapping out her organs for artificial parts. 1989 - The Communist Party of Czechoslovakia decides it's tired and that fine, other parties can play if they want. 1990 - Margaret Thatcher resigns as British Prime Minister. And there was much rejoicing. 1991 - South Ossetia declares indpendence from Georgia. No one gets the memo.

Or the Year of the Five Emperors. Or the Year of the Six Emperors.

On November 27 in History: 176 - Marcus Aurelius gives his son Commodus the rank of Imperator, and makes him the supreme commander of all Roman legions. Rome will come to regret this. 511 - Death if Clovis I. Will the Frankish kingdom he knit together survive him, or will it fall back apart? I give it ten years, tops. 602 - Emperor Maurice is executed by his usurper, Phocas, after being made to watch the execution of all five of his sons. Both Byzantium and Western Christendom will come to regret this. 1096 - At the Council of Clermont, Pope Urban II tells all the folks he's spent days rallying up into a frenzy to go and kill some Muslims in the Holy Land. It's on now, boys. 1558 - Burmese Crown Prince Mingyi Swa is born. He'll never live to be king, and it's entirely possible I'm including him here because I think his name is cool. 1809 - Theodore Hook tricks hundreds of tradesmen, merchants, businessmen, and dignitaries - up to and including the Lord Mayor of London, the Duke of York, and the Archbishop of Canterbury - to descend on the home of Mrs. Tottenham at 54 Berners Street in order to win a bet with his friend that he could turn any house in the city into the Prom Queen. 1852 - Death of Ada Lovelace, whom we have largely to thank for the technology allowing you all to read this right now. 1896 - Richard Strauss's Also Sprach Zarathustra is first performed. A group of apes in attendance goes crazy. 1940 - Bruce Lee is born. He is already capable of kicking the crap out of everyone else in the room. 1942 - Jimi Hendrix is born. Dang, two GOATs who died too young born on the same date? I guess just take care of yourself if you're really talented and today's your birthday; that's all I'm saying. 1955 - Bill Nye is born. He's already capable of schooling everyone else in the room. Hang in there, Bill. We need you. 1978 - Former San Francisco city supervisor Dan White assassinates current supervisor Harvey Milk, as well as Mayor George Moscone, because he is depressed, which you can tell because he eats a lot of Twinkies. No really, that's what they went with. 2006 - The Canadian House of Commons approves a motion declaring the Québécois to be a nation within Canada. Oh great, they're never going to shut up about this.

On November 26 in History: 1476 - Vlad the Impaler, with a some help from a couple of guys named Stephen, defeats Basarab Laiota to become the ruler of Wallachia. Third time's the charm? 1504 - Death of Queen Isabella of Castile and León. She leaves behind a legacy of a completed reconquest of ancient lands, along with a famously brutal inquisition and the birth of colonial genocide over an entire hemisphere. Bet you weren't expecting that! 1789 - A national day of Thanksgiving is celebrated in the U.S. at the proclamation of George Washington on the request from Congress. It takes a while to catch on. 1863 - U.S. president Abraham Lincoln declares a national day of Thanksgiving. This time, he's savvy enough to declare that it should be an annual thing. 1917 - Formation of the National Hockey League. It has five teams: in Toronto, Ottawa, Québec City, and two in Montréal. With pitiful numbers like that, I don't see it lasting for very long. 1918 - Montenegro votes to be annexed by Serbia. They will come to...well, "regret" is a strong word. 1922 - Howard Carter and Lord Carnarvon defile the 3000 year old tomb of Tutankhamun. Evidently neither of them have ever seen a Universal Pictures B movie. 1922 again - Charles Schultz is born with a rare condition that causes him to hear the voice of anyone over ten years old as a muted trombone. 1941 - The Japanese 1st Air Fleet departs the Kuril Islands, heading southeast. Where could they be going? 1942 - Casablanca premiers in New York City. People immediately begin quoting it. 1950 - "Not so fast!" Chinese troops to U.N. allied soldiers in North Korea.

You've got WAY more patience than I do, Hack. I gave up a long time ago even attempting to reason with people who are so obviously drowning in Kool-Aid. Just reading this thread is maddening, which usually makes my responses flippant and unhelpful. Thanks for hanging in there.

Mon. Oct. 28, 2019 Grace: 883 Tedd: 769 Wed. Oct. 30, 2019 Grace: 884 Tedd: 770 Susan: 519 Diane: 213 Fri. Nov. 1, 2019 Tedd: 771 Susan: 520 Diane: 214 Grace: 885 Mon. Nov. 4, 2019 Ellen: 689 Sarah: 686 Justin: 449 Susan: 521 Diane: 215 Wed. Nov. 6, 2019 Susan: 522 Diane: 216 Nanase: 608 Ellen: 690 Elliot: 963 Ashley: 212 Sarah: 687 Justin: 450 Grace: 886 Fri. Nov. 8, 2019 Diane: 217 Susan: 523 Grace: 887 Sarah: 688 Tedd: 772 Mon. Nov. 11, 2019 Diane: 218 Sarah: 689 Tedd: 773 Ellen: 691 Justin: 451 Elliot: 964 Grace: 888 Wed. Nov. 13, 2019 Diane: 219 Tedd: 774 Susan: 524 Ellen: 692 Sarah: 690 Ashley: 213 Fri. Nov. 15, 2019 Diane: 220 Ashley: 214 Tedd: 775 Elliot: 965 Justin: 452 Susan: 525 Sarah: 691 Grace: 889 *The back of Nanase's head is insufficient Mon. Nov. 18, 2019 Tedd: 776 Ashley: 215 Diane: 221 Nanase: 609 Ellen: 693 Wed. Nov. 20, 2019 Ashley: 216 Diane: 222 Tedd: 777 Elliot: 966 Susan: 526 Sarah: 692 **If there's anyone out there who still considers the main cast to consist of only 8 instead of 10, may I direct your attention to this storyline right here. FULL COUNT

On November 19 in History: 1095 - "Go out there and get me that Holy Land!" ~Pope Urban II at the Council of Clermont 1703 - Death of The Man in the Iron Mask, a French prisoner of over thirty years about whom very little is known and whose name might have been Eustache Dauger. He didn't actually wear an iron mask, but "The Man in the Velvet Mask" lacks a certain air of mystery and just doesn't have the same ring to it. 1863 - U.S. President Abraham Lincoln delivers a two minute speech he wrote on a cocktail napkin on the way over at a cemetery dedication ceremony in Gettysburg and goes down in history for it. The guy before him was the keynote speaker and spoke for two hours. His name is not important enough for me to remember. 1912 - With the capture of the city of Bitola by the Serbian army, five centuries of Ottoman rule in Macedonia comes to an end. Excuse me, NORTH Macedonia. I wouldn't want to alienate the expansive Greek readers who care way too much about stuff that doesn't matter at all demographic. 1917 - Birth of future Indian prime minister Indira Gandhi. No relation. 1959 - Ford announces it's not going to make the Edsel anymore. And there was much rejoicing. 1969 - Pete Conrad and Alan Bean are the third and fourth human beings to walk on the moon, respectively. That's still amazing and why aren't they household names too? Only twelve people in human history have ever done this. 1975 - Death of Spanish dictator Francisco Franco. Good thing he set things up in advance to have King Juan Carlos carry on his fascist regime, eh? 1998 - The U.S. House of Representatives begin impeachment hearings against president Bill Clinton. There are a lot of solid quotes from prominent Republicans of the time such as Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell about why this is absolutely necessary. Give 'em a read; it's great fun. 2006 - Nintendo releases the Wii, perhaps its first console with a name completely impervious to juvenile jokes and puns. 2017 - Death of Charles Manson. I try not to say this too often - sanctity of human life and all - but good riddance.

On November 18 in History: 326 - Consecration of the old St. Peter's Basilica. Wait for it... 401 - Alaric I and his Visigoths cross the Alps into Italy. This is not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the turning of the Wheel of Time. But it is A beginning. Of an end. 701 - Birth of Itzam Kʼan Ahk II, future ruler of the Mayan city now known as Piedras Negras. We know a good deal of what he did and what he built, but almost nothing about him personally aside from his name, and I don't even know what it means. 1095 - Pope Urban II calls a club meeting at Clermont in Auvergne, Aquitaine. On the docket: Helping the Byzantine Emperor, Taking Back the Holy Land. Not necessarily in that order. 1210 - Holy Roman Emperor Otto IV is excommunicated by Pope Innocent III. Daddy and Other Daddy are fighting! 1247 - Supposed death date of legendary outlaw Robin Hood, though in all fairness this one is rather difficult to pin down, owing chiefly to the fact that Robin could have been any one of roughly half a dozen different men, an amalgamation or some or all of them, or an entirely made up character who never existed at all. Why a date of death for such a man is even attempted in the first place is beyond me. 1302 - Pope Boniface VIII issues the bull Unam Sanctam, which lays out the necessity of belonging to the Catholic Church to achieve salvation, the total spiritual supremacy of the Pope over said Church, and therefore one must submit to the Pope in order to attain salvation. How convenient. 1626 - Consecration of the new St. Peter's Basilica. Now with more opulence! 1803 - The former slaves of Haiti, under Jean Jacques Dessalines, kick out the French for good at the Battle of Vertières. There's no concern they might try to come back, either; they currently have bigger problems to worry about. 1863 - Danish king Christian IX signs a new constitution declaring that the Duchy of Schleswig belongs to Denmark. Germany disagrees. 1872 - Fifteen American women, among them Susan B. Anthony, are arrested for the terrible, heinous crime of voting. 1883 - Railroads in the U.S. and Canada create time zones, ensuring that folks on the east coast will always be able to spoil the latest Game of Thrones episode for unwitting west coasters. 1905 - Prince Karl of Denmark becomes King of Norway, and changes his name to Haakon VII in the process because why not. 1916 - BEF Commander Douglas Haig gives up the Battle of the Somme as a bad job after 141 days nets an advance of 10 km. His decisive action will likely save untold thousands, if the over a million casualties incurred to this point are any indication. 1918 - Latvia declares itself independent from Russia. "Lol, sure, sure." ~Russia 1928 - Walt Disney and Ub Iwerks release the animated short "Steamboat Willie", starring their creation Mickey Mouse. It is the first cartoon with fully synchronized sound and groundbreaking doesn't begin to cover it. Guess which one of them ends up taking most of the credit. Hint: It's not the guy you've never heard of. 1939 - Birth of Margaret Atwood. Should she be celebrated for boldly depicting the logical extremes of patriarchal fundamentalists, or decried for giving them ideas? 1968 - Owen Wilson is born. Wow! 1971 - Oman declares independence from the United Kingdom. It's just the fashionable thing to do these days. 1993 - South Africa approves a new constitution that lets everyone vote regardless of skin color, meaning that the whole country will no longer be subject to the whims of a minority of the population. Meanwhile, the U.S. is still using the Electoral College. 2003 - The Supreme Court of Massachusetts rules that same-sex couples can legally marry, and the state is required to recognize such marriages. I feel a snowball coming on, y'all.

On November 17 in History: 9 - Birth of future Roman emperor Vespasian. He will be the second in a row (and overall) whose name begins with V, but certainly not the last. Look, I'm trying my best here. 375 - Death of Emperor Valentinian I. See? What'd I tell ya? V guys all over the place. 794 - Japanese emperor Kanmu moves his capital from Nara to Heian, called Kyōto today (literally "capital city", which of course it no longer is). "Build me a city like that guy from Tang has." 1292 - John Baliol becomes King of Scotland with the blessing of Edward I of England. I'll let you guess how well that goes over. 1558 - "Bloody" Mary I of England (a Catholic) dies and is replaced by her half-sister Elizabeth I (a Protestant). It's like spamming the "redo" button after you just hit "undo" a whole bunch of times. 1810 - At the demand of Napoleon, Sweden declares war on Great Britain. There will be no fighting and Sweden will allow Britain to "occupy" the island of Hanö, meaning their trading relationship is not affected in any way. 1831 - Ecuador and Venezuela break away from Gran Colombia. "It's not you; it's us. We should all totally still have matching flags, though." 1869 - Good news, everyone! We don't have to sail all the way around Africa anymore! 1938 - Look, I've got other things I've gotta take care of, so why don't we just agree to pretend I wrote a long, meandering, lyrical tale that ends with the birth of Gordon Lightfoot. 1942 - Martin Scorsese is born. I mean sure, some people might be into that sort of thing, but back in my day, people really made new little human beings, you know? They put their hearts and souls into it. You just don't see that with babies these days. 1973 - Richard Nixon announces to hundreds of reporters in Orlando, "I am not a crook." Narrator: "He was a crook." 1978 - The Star Wars Holiday Special does not air, because there is no such thing and never was. Moving on. Fighting the frizzies at 11. 1981 - Doug Walker is born. You know, that guy with the glasses.

You're right. What I meant was that Nixon was the closest to an example of a president who tried to put himself above the law.

Also worth noting is that Nixon, the closest to an actual example, was a Republican.

On November 16 in History: 42 BCE - Birth of future Roman Emperor Tiberius. He'll be the first of many to inherit the title, and also the first of many to not really do anything with it. 1043 - New King of England Edward the Confessor takes all treasure, land, and freedom of movement from his powerful mother, Emma of Normandy, wife of two previous kings and mother of yet another. "No Norman will hold sway over England whilst I am king!" 1272 - Prince Edward Longshanks becomes King Edward Longshanks of England despite being on crusade and thus not actually in England. He'll get there eventually. He will be called Edward I despite being the fourth King of England named Edward. Medieval politics make very little sense. 1532 - Francisco Pizarro to Incan emperor Atahualpa at the Battle of Cajamarca: "Gotcha!" 1776 - The Dutch Republic recognizes the independence of the United States, a fledgling republic breaking away from a powerful monarchy. Weird. I wonder what their motives are. 1836 - Birth of Kalākaua, future King of Hawai'i. Dang, I'll never get to say that again. 1849 - Fyodor Dostoyevsky is sentenced to death as Punishment for the Crime of advancing ideas related to social reform. He gets better. 1914 - The U.S. Federal Reserve Bank opens. Andrew Jackson rolls over in his grave. Haha, wait'll he finds out they put him on the 20. 1952 - Upon the birth of Miyamoto Shigeru, his grandfather tucks a blanket into his crib and says, "It's dangerous to go alone. Take this." 1990 - Milli Vanilli are stripped of their Grammy Award when it is revealed they did not actually sing on their album. Geez, the hoops they make artists jump through these days.

This is demonstrably false. Regardless, could we maybe keep the political discussion to the Political Discussion Thread?

On November 14 in History: 565 - Death of Byzantine emperor Justinian I, the last high water mark of Roman civilization. It's all downhill from here, folks. Strap in; it's gonna take a while. 1840 - Birth of Claude Monet. His features are indistinct, but he gives of the general impression of a baby. 1886 - German inventor Friedrich Soennecken develops the hole puncher, which is exactly what it says on the tin. It's a slow news day. 1918 - The newly independent Czechoslovakia becomes a republic. Not gonna lie; they are not ideally placed geographically for this. 1922 - A broadcasting company in Britain begins its radio service. The only thing now is figuring out what they should call themselves. 1922 again - Birth of future UN Secretary General Boutros Boutros-Ghali, son of Yusuf Buotros Ghali, son of Boutros Ghali. 1960 - Four federal marshals have to escort a little girl named Ruby Bridges to her first day of elementary school in New Orleans because white people. 1975 - Spain relinquishes control of Spanish Sahara - hereafter called Western Sahara - and bequeaths it to Morocco and Mauritania. Not consulted: the inhabitants of Western Sahara. 1977 - Death of Abhaya Caranāravinda Bhaktivedānta Svāmi Prabhupada, founder of the Hare Krishna movement. 5000+ years of recorded human history, plus however many tens of thousands before that, and we're still making new religions. 2013 - Death of Hindi children's literature author Hari Krishna Devsare. No relation.

IPA is actually pretty easy to read once you get the hang of it. A large part of that of course being that it's based on the Latin alphabet, which gives us an unfair advantage. Though also, as a Linguistics major, I too have an unfair advantage, as I had to learn to transcribe speech directly into IPA, so I have a lot of practice. You are of course right in your observation that readers tend to look at and associate meaning to whole words as a unit rather than as a collection of sounds. This is a known and documented phenomenon. The msot fmauos elpxmae is the ppuoalr doniometsarn of how wrdos rimean lgeilbe wehn sraclbmed as lnog as the fsrit and lsat lrtetets raimen the smae. Hangul is great as a system. In practice, however, Koreans leave out just as many of the written sounds as we English speakers do. It's quite frustrating when you're trying to learn, he said, using one of the most notoriously difficult orthographies in the Western world. I actually had this conversation with a friend of mine on Facebook, who has taken to writing all his status updates in IPA (though neither he nor anyone else can read them except for me and at least one other person I've seen. He uses a converter, and recently accidentally used one for RP British English and didn't notice until I pointed it out). His argument is that written language should reflect spoken language, and that words should be written how people actually say them. My argument was that while there is certainly merit in simplifying a lot of our orthography, dialectical variations will always make a purely phonetic alphabet impractical and unfeasible outside of academic settings, as he inadvertently proved.

On November 13 in History: 1002 - Æthelred II "The Unready" orders the death of every Dane in England. I can't see this going south in any possible way. 1312 - Birth of Edward III, the last English king before the line starts to go all screwy. 1460 - Death of Portugal's Prince Henry the Navigator, who never actually went anywhere. 1887 - Police and Irish protesters clash in a violent way in London in the original Bloody Sunday. Accept no substitutions. 1947 - The Soviet Union completes their development of a new rifle called the AK-47. Only time will tell whether or not its use will catch on. 1955 - Caryn Elaine Johnson is born as a result of her parents making Whoopi. 1956 - U.S. Supreme Court to Alabama re: segregated buses: "Yeah, you can't do that." 1989 - Start of the reign of Prince Hans-Adam II of Liechtenstein. Everyone is briefly reminded that they're a thing.

On November 12 in History: 1028 - Zoë Porphyrogenita, daughter of Byzantine emperor Constantine VIII and niece to Basil II, becomes empress-consort to Romanos III Argyros. The "consort" part is only temporary, I can assure you. 1035 - Death of Cnut the Great. I don't really have a joke; I'm just a big fan of his. 1817 - Bahá'u'lláh is born. The Jesus to the Báb's John the Baptist. The Mohammed to his Jesus. The Alexander to his Philip II. The Augustus to his Caesar. The AOC to his Bernie. Look, you get the idea. 1912 - George I of Greece triumphantly enters the newly liberated Thessaloniki after 482 years under Ottoman rule. Is this the return of the Byzantine monarchy we've waited so long for? 1927 - Stalin forces Trotsky to leave his own party. Not cool, bro. 1970 - The Oregon Highway Division blows up a whale. It doesn't really make much sense in context, either. 1982 - Birth of Anne Hathaway. The Hollywood actress, not the wife of Shakespeare. Though I suppose the date may have given that away. 1990 - Akihito is crowned emperor of Japan. As of me typing this, he's still alive, so we're still allowed to call him that. 1991 - Indonesian soldiers open fire on and kill over 200 East Timorese independence demonstrators in the capital of Dili. "Oh shit, you guys, the optics on this are not gonna be good." 2011 - Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi resigns, not in disgrace, because that would require him to have shame. "I'll be back. Again," he says. 2018 - Stan Lee dies, but he will live on forever in our hearts, and in his characters who will continue to print money for Disney until the end of time.

It's been busy around here and I've missed a couple of days. On November 8 in History: 1519 - Moctezuma throws a great big party to welcome Hernán Cortés as the latter enters the city of Tenochtitlán. This looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship. 1605 - Robert Catesby, ringleader of the infamous Gunpowder Plot, is shot and killed in a raid at Holbeche House in Staffordshire. His death is not ritualistically recreated every year, as his face doesn't make for a good mask. 1644 - The Shunzhi Emperor, who is six years old, becomes the first Qing emperor to actually rule China when he is enthroned in Beijing. A bit presumptuous of his two predecessors to call themselves emperors then, isn't it? 1745 - Charles Edward Stuart, a.k.a. Bonnie Prince Charlie, invades England with a Jacobite army of 5,000. Ish. I'm sure it'll go swimmingly. 1884 - Hermann Rorschach is born in Zurich. No one can agree on what he looks like. 1923 - Adoph Hitler and the Nazis attempt and fail to overthrow the German government. Whew. Dodged a bullet there. 1936 - Francisco Franco and his fascist troops attempt and fail to capture the Spanish capital of Madrid. Whew. Dodged another bullet there. 1939 - Adolph Hitler literally dodges a bullet - well, a bomb - when Georg Elser tries to blow him up during a speech in Munich celebrating the anniversary of the Beer Hall Putcsh, mentioned above. It won't be the last time. He's a slippery bugger. 1965 - The United Kingdom abolishes the death penalty. A long list of exceptions applies. 1974 - Kishimoto Masashi is born with a nine-tailed fox sealed within him. 2002 - The U.N. tells Saddam Hussein to disarm Iraq or face "serious consequences". That is ominously vague.