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Illjwamh

This Day In History

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Harrison?

Harry's Son?

Is this name for the younger Earl of Dumbarton a throwback to Britain's Viking heritage?

 

Also, Archie?  Not Archbold, but actually Archie?

His father has red hair, and the kid shares a name with the most annoying redhead in American comics?

 

Isn't life for a young Royal tough enough without having a name that's a royal pain?

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Still catching up...
 
On May 8 in History:
 
EARLY LIGHTNING ROUND: DEAD POPES!
 
535 – One! John II
 
615 – Two! Boniface IV
 
685 – Miter Trick! Benedict II
 
END LIGHTNING ROUND
 
1429 - The Siege of Orléans is lifted...by a girl! "No way, no way! We call do-over!" yell the English.
 
1516 - Emperor Lê Tương Dực of Đại Việt is murdered by members of his own imperial guard. Who knew Roman customs had reached this far east?
 
1819 - Death of Kamehameha. If only he'd known the Kaiou-ken, he could have lasted longer.
 
1877 - Snooty white people with too much money and time start a competition in New York to show off who has the most ridiculously pampered dog.
 
1884 - Harry S Truman is born, and nobody is more surprised than the man waiting outside with cigars, George Martin Dewey.
 
1903 - Death of Paul Gauguin. Say, who the heck is Paul Gauguin, anyway?
 
1926 - In a wonderful display of the most beautiful miracle of nature, David Attenborough is born. Sadly, there is no one there to narrate it.
 
1945 - "We give up, we give up, for god's sake, we give up!" ~Nazi Germany
 
1948 - Death of U Saw, Burmese Prime Minister and Rube-Goldberg torture film enthusiast.
 
1963 - South Vietnamese soldiers shoot nine Buddhists for flying a Buddhist flag on Buddha's Birthday. Jesus, are we sure we even picked the right side in that one?
 
1980 - Smallpox is confirmed to be completely eradicated, thanks in large part due to the lack of social media outlets for morons to spread disinformation on.
 
1981 - Stephen Amell is born. His first words are, "You have failed this delivery room."

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This should put me back on track.
 
On May 9 in History:
 
1386 - England and Portugal sign the Treaty of Windsor, formally ratifying their alliance. It's still in effect today. They've been allies longer than most modern countries have existed.
 
1671 - Thomas Blood and a few accomplices attempt to steal the British crown jewels. The crown is flattened with a hammer and the scepter cut in two with a file in order to fit in cloaks. The orb is stuffed in with another set of crown jewels, if you catch my meaning.
 
1920 - The Polish army celebrates their capture of Kiev from the Soviets with a parade. Poland forever! This is going to be our century, lads.
 
1941 - German U-boat U-110 is captured by the Royal Navy. It contains one of their latest Enigma machines, but they are unconcerned, knowing the allies could never decipher its use. Somewhere, at this exact moment, Alan Turing inexplicably turns to a friend and says, "Hold my beer."
 
1949 - Billy Joel is born. If you want to celebrate his birthday, there's a party starting at nine o'clock on Saturday.
 
1970 - A whole shit ton of people show up at the White House to inform President Nixon they think the war in Vietnam sucks.
 
1974 - Formal impeachment hearings are opened against Richard Nixon, because a president can't just be getting involved in all kinds of shady and illegal shit and expect to just get away with it. That'd be ridiculous.
 
2001 - At a football match in Ghana, a referee makes a controversial call. People get rowdy in response, leading to police launching tear gas, causing a stampede for the exits that kills 129 people. Well that escalated quickly.
 

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On May 11 in History:
 
330 - The city of Byzantium is renamed Nova Roma, but everybody just calls it Constantinople. Still waiting for the They Might Be Giants song.
 
1310 - Philip IV of France burns 54 Knights Templar at the stake for "heresy", and definitely not for "being people I owe money to".
 
1846 - U.S. president James K. Polk asks Congress for permission to go to war with Mexico. He'd like very much to Manifest his Destiny, you see.
 
1904 - Salvador Domingo Felipe Jacinto Dalí i Domènech, 1st Marquis of Dalí de Púbol is born. Most people think of him as the guy with the melted clocks, but I like to think of him as the guy who must have spent his entire life tripping absolute balls.
 
1927 - The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is founded. All members are required to shove ceremonial sticks up their bums.
 
1942 - William Faulkner publishes his collection of short stories, titled "Go Down, Moses", after a brief and embarrassing misunderstanding with the censorship board is cleared up.
 
1949 - Siam changes its name back to Thailand. Again. For real this time, guys, we promise.
 
1960 - Nazi fugitive Adolf Eichmann is captured in Buenos Aires by Mossad agents. He'd been using the alias "Ricardo Klement". Gee. I wonder how they found him.
 
1981 - In the end it is neither the sheriff nor the deputy who gets Bob Marley, but acral lentiginous melanoma.
 
1997 - Deep Blue defeats chess champion Garry Kasparov, which robot historians will later mark as the first step of the downfall of humanity.
 
2014 - 15 people die and 46 are injured in Kinshasa when...a stampede erupts from police firing tear gas into a hostile incident at a football match. Okay seriously, what the hell? Is this going to become a thing now?

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On May 12 in History:

907 - Paramount warlord Zhu Wen grows tired with his puppet Emperor Ai, and forces him to abdicate. This ends roughly three centuries of rule under the Tang Dynasty. But hey, at least he didn't kill him...right away.

1182 - Valdemar I of Denmark dies upon the destruction of his final horcrux.

1191 - Berengaria of Navarre becomes Queen of England upon her marriage to Richard the Lionheart in Cyprus. She will never see England. Come to think of it, she doesn't see much of Richard, either.

1784 - The Treaty of Paris, wherein Great Britain acknowledges the independence and sovereignty of the United States, goes into effect. But there's no fireworks because we got our independence when WE say, not when YOU say.

1865 - Confederate forces successfully repulse and defeat a Union attack at the Battle of Palmito Ranch in Texas, despite the war being over and the Confederacy no longer existing. That's got to be embarrassing and demoralizing for both sides.

1937 - King George VI of the UK has his coronation on the day that his brother, Edward VIII would have had his if not for his abdication. Totally not awkward at all.

1978 - Jason Biggs is born from a pie. His dad was into some weird stuff.

1981 - Rami Malek is born, though as an infant he is still unable to tell if this is the real life, or if it's just fantasy.

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6 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

1182 - Valdemar I of Denmark dies upon the destruction of his final horcrux.

Not to mention his Heralds.

6 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

1191 - Berengaria of Navarre becomes Queen of England upon her marriage to Richard the Lionheart in Cyprus. She will never see England. Come to think of it, she doesn't see much of Richard, either.

Not a direct comment, but mention of someone being "of Navarre" brings back many happy memories of Ladyhawke. :-)

6 hours ago, Illjwamh said:

1784 - The Treaty of Paris, wherein Great Britain acknowledges the independence and sovereignty of the United States, goes into effect. But there's no fireworks because we got our independence when WE say, not when YOU say.

I thought England recognized the independence of the United States in 1783?

*looks it up* Wow, that's a lot of time between the agreement being made, and both parties ratifying and exchanging ratified copies.  Slow travel indeed!

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I'm behind again. Blame Game of Thrones.
 
On May 13 in History:
 
1830 - Ecuador gains independence from Gran Colombia, which has itself recently gained independence from Spain. It's like independenception over here.
 
1846 - The U.S. officially declares war on Mexico. Justifications are flimsy at best.
 
1861 - Queen Victoria declares the UK will remain neutral in the American Civil War. She even manages to pretend she's not enjoying herself.
 
1888 - The Empire of Brazil abolishes slavery. "Better late than never," say the Americans, who are delighted to learn they were not the last to do so.
 
1940 - German forces cross the Meuse River in Belgium, Queen Wilhelmina of the Netherlands decides she'd rather stay in Britain for a while, and Winston Churchill rallies British morale by talking about his various bodily fluids.
 
1989 - A bunch of students move into Tiananmen Square, but didn't bring anything to eat.

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On May 14 in History:
 
1607 - Jamestown is settled. This was the native's first and only chance to stop us, and they missed it.
 
1608 - Several Protestant German states within the HRE band together to form the Protestant Union in order to defend their rights and such against the Catholic states and emperor. It remains to be seen if they will have more success than the Schmalkaldic League, but I think we can all agree that they have a better name.
 
1610 - Henry IV of France is assassinated and Louis XIII becomes king. Wait for it...
 
1643 - Louis XIII dies, leaving his four year-old son to inherit the throne. Well, looks like it's downhill for France from here.
 
1796 - Edward Jenner becomes perhaps one of the greatest heroes in all of human history when he inoculates someone against smallpox for the first time. We'll name streets and buildings after people for throwing a ball decently well, but most people have never heard this man's name.
 
1878 - A trial for witchcraft occurs in the United States - yes, that's still happening - when a woman who follows Christian Science accuses a man of trying to harm her through his "mental powers". I don't even have to tell you that this happens in Salem, MA, because you'd already guessed that.
 
1944 - George Lucas is born, though his mother will later claim this is not the way she intended it to happen, and will alter his birth certificate several times.
 
1948 - Israel is established as an independent state and is immediately declared war upon by its neighbors. Talk about setting a tone.
 
1952 - Through a series of shenanigans, Robert Zemeckis ensures that his own birth does in fact take place.
 
1972 - Kirstjen Nielsen is born. Notably, she is not forcibly taken away from her mother and locked in a cage. Inn'at weird?

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On May 16 in History:
 
1532 - Sir Thomas decides he doesn't want to be high chancellor any More.
 
1568 - Mary, Queen of Scots, having failed to reclaim her throne after being forced to abdicate in favor of her infant son, flees to England and the court of Elizabeth I. She will come to regret this.
 
1770 - At 14, Austrian princess Marie Antoinette marries Prince (and future king) Louis of France. She will come to regret this.
 
1834 - Dom Miguel and his forces are defeated at the Battle of Asseiceira, putting an end to his attempt to usurp the Portuguese throne from his niece, Maria. He would've gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling loyalists.
 
1843 - The first major wagon train sets out on the Oregon Trail. It departs from Elm Grove, Missouri, and if I learned anything in school, it contains a banker from Boston, a carpenter from Ohio, and a farmer from Illinois.
 
1866 - The United States establishes the nickel. Now back then, nickels had a picture of a bee on them. Gimmie five bees for a quarter, you'd say. But the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time.
 
1868 - U.S. President Andrew Johnson is acquitted in his impeachment trial by a single vote. He had originally been impeached for firing someone in his cabinet, by which standard our current president should currently be exiled to the isle of St. Helena at the very least.
 
1916 - The UK and France secretly divide up the Ottoman territories in the Levant that they have yet to actually take control of. The lines they draw make perfect demographic sense and won't lead to any future tensions in the region.
 
1929 - The first Academy Award ceremony takes place. It runs long.
 
1961 - Park Chung-hee overthrows the Second Republic of South Korea in a military coup. It's okay though; the government was a mess and he actually seems to know what he's doing.
 
1966 - The Communist Party of China announces that 5000 years of history and culture must be destroyed, because you never know where them bougies might be hiding.
 
1990 - Death of Jim Hensen, who is perhaps best known for spreading the idea that pigs and frogs can copulate.
 

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On May 17 in History:
 
1521 - Edward Stafford, Duke of Buckingham, is executed for treason. To be fair, there was evidence he had "listened to prophesies of the king's death". That's some messed up shit, right there. Oh, and planned to kill the king. That too.
 
1536 - George Boleyn, Viscount Rochford, is executed for treason via an incestuous relationship with his sister, the Queen of England. Four other men are also executed for this crime (minus the incest). To be fair, Henry really wanted to bone Jane Seymour and needed an excuse to get rid of his current wife.
 
1814 - The Constitution of Norway goes into effect, one of the most progressive such documents in the world at the time. They need a king, so they pick the current heir to the Danish throne. One step forward, two steps back, guys.
 
1869 - The Battle of Hakodate firmly ends the Boshin War, establishing the emperor as the true ruler of Japan and putting an end to the Tokugawa Shogunate. Wait...an emperor actually being an emperor? That's crazy talk!
 
1939 - The first televised sporting event in America is a college baseball game between Princeton and Columbia. This is a strategic decision to test the waters; if nobody watches, then it won't be exceptionally embarrassing.
 
1954 - The U.S. Supreme Court decides that having separate schools for people of different races is actually not okay.
 
1974 - The Ulster Volunteer Force detonates four car bombs in Dublin and Monaghan, killing 33 people and injuring 300 more. Because fighting terrorism with terrorism always works.
 
1980 - South Korean military leader Chun Doo-hwan seizes control of the government and declares martial law in order to put down student protests over his last power grab, which followed the assassination of the previous autocrat Park Chung-hee. The south's tenure as the "better Korea" is a relatively recent development.
 
1990 - The World Health Organization removes homosexuality from its list of psychiatric diseases. It also removes freckles from its list of dangerous skin conditions.
 
1995 - A plumber and army veteran steals a tank from a National Guard armory in San Diego and drives it around wrecking shit, presumably in an attempt to reenact a scene from Goldeneye. Police rather understandably shoot him.
 
1997 - Zaire is officially renamed the Democratic Republic of the Congo in order to avoid being confused with its northwestern neighbor, the Republic of the Congo.

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On May 18 in History:
 
1096 - A bunch of Crusaders under Count Emicho of Leiningen slaughter around 800 Jews in the German city of Worms, because the Holy Land is really far away and this is just so much easier.
 
1152 - Henry Plantagenet marries Eleanor of Aquitaine. Even for someone as savvy and successful as him, this is one of the best decisions he ever makes.
 
1268 - The Crusader State of Antioch falls to the Mamluks. There aren't many left, now.
 
1291 - Scratch that, now there aren't any at all. Acre falls to the Mamluks as well, putting an end to all Crusader presence in the Holy Land. You know what this means, chaps! Crusade!
 
1388 - Ming general Lan Yu delivers a solid defeat to the Northern Yuan at the Battle of Buyur Lake, adding a solid "And stay out!" to the original "GTFO" that the new dynasty had delivered to the Mongols 20 years before.
 
1565 - Ottoman forces begin the great siege of Malta (currently held by the Knights Hospitaller), unaware that the island is in fact a solid rock that merely looks like an egg.
 
1652 - Rhode Island is the first place in (English-speaking) North America to outlaw slavery. There's being ahead of the curve, and there's not even being able to see the curve anymore.
 
1756 - Great Britain declares war on France. While this in itself is not unusual - in fact it seems to happen every other Tuesday - the resulting conflict will last for seven years and involve all the great European powers, most of the smaller ones, and a bunch of people from other places, too. Some people even call it the first world war. To be fair, Ohio is really nice.
 
1781 - Indigenous Peruvian leader Túpac Amaru II is killed and his rebellion dies with him in the original West vs. East war.
 
1803 - Revoking the Treaty of Amiens from a year ago (a "definitive treaty of peace"), Great Britain declares war on France. Tuesday already? To be fair, Napoleon.
 
1804 - Deciding they might as well go all in on the historical rerun, the French senate declares Napoleon emperor.
 
1896 - The United States Supreme Court decides having separate schools for people of different races is totally okay, as long as they're the same. In this context, we must assume "the same" means "they both exist".
 
1980 - Mt. St. Helens decides just erupting like normal would be boring, and instead freaking blows itself up.
 
1991 - Somaliland, also known as the northern part of Somalia, declares independence. Nobody recognizes them so it's not official, but they just go about being independent anyway and no one has really told them to stop, either.
 
1994 - Israeli troops withdraw from Gaza, leaving it in the hands of the Palestinian Authority. Looks like the end of conflict in the region; our work here is done!

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On May 21 in History:

293 - Roman co-emperors Diocletian and Maximian appoint Galerius as the former's junior emperor and designated successor, thus establishing the four-ruler "Tetrarchy", a system which will completely stabilize the empire and last forever.

1403 - Henry III of Castile sense an ambassador to that horrible Timur guy to see if he wants to team up against the Ottomans.

1659 - In The Hague, The Netherlands, Britain, and France gather to decide how the war between Sweden vs. Moscow, the PLC, Brandenburg-Prussia, the Habsburgs, and Denmark-Norway should end. Notably absent from the talks: Sweden, Moscow, the PLC, Brandenburg-Prussia, the Habsburgs, and Denmark-Norway. Notably absent from the war: The Netherlands, Britain, and France.

1851 - Colombia abolishes slavery. America puts its hands in its ears and yells "LALALALALALA!"

1917 - The Great Atlanta fire destroys over 2000 homes, causing millions of dollars in damages, but only one fatality...from a heart attack. Presumably the victim thought General Sherman had returned.

1927 - Charles Lindbergh lands his plane in Paris after the first solo nonstop flight across the Atlantic. "Big deal", say the crews of every sailing vessel to ever make the journey.

1932 - Amelia Earhart lands in Ireland, becoming the first woman to do that same thing I just said.

2006 - The people of Montenegro decide they want to be a country of their own, instead of half of a bigger one.

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Holy crap, I missed a day.
 
On May 19 in History:
 
1499 - Catherine of Aragon marries Prince Arthur of Wales by proxy. They are 13 and 12, respectively. They will be one of the most famous royal couples in history, I can see it now.
 
1536 - Anne Boleyn, the current Queen of England, is beheaded for adultery, treason, and incest. Whether or not she actually did any of these things is irrelevent; her real crimes are not having a son, and not being Jane Seymour.
 
1568 - Elizabeth I of England orders the arrest of her cousin and guest, Mary Queen of Scots. That she chose the anniversary of her mother's execution to do it on is surely nothing more than a morbid coincidence.
 
1643 - Spain is soundly defeated by France in the Battle of Rocroi near the end of the Thirty Years War. While they will try valiantly to pretend otherwise for the next fifteen years or so, Spain will never be relevant again.
 
1649 - The Long Parliament declares the Commonwealth of England, making the country into a republic. Farewell forever, British monarchy!
 
1919 - Mustafa Kemal Atatürk arrives at Samsun and begins the fight to gain Turkish independence from the occupying allied forces after World War One. This is like if the English had to fight for independence against the French, Spanish, and Americans in the 1780s.
 
1962 - Marilyn Monroe sings the most famous rendition of "Happy Birthday" in the history of mankind. It's not even the dude's actual birthday.
 
1991 - The people of Croatia vote and decide they want to be their own independent country rather than part of a bigger one.
 
2018 - British Prince Harry marries an American actress who is a household name because everyone Googled her upon announcement of their engagement.
 
2018 again - Death of Chinese linguist Zhengzhang Shangfang, known for his reconstruction of Old Chinese, and whose name is just a whole lot of fun to say.
 

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On May 22 in History:
 
626 - Birth of future king Itzam Kʼan Ahk I of Piedras Negras, a Mayan city we sadly do not know the original actual name of. He is also hilariously known to some historians as "Ruler 2".
 
1176 - The Assassins attempt to...well, assassinate Saladin. Allegedly. Remarkably, they will not come to regret this.
 
1200 - In the Treaty of Le Goulet between John of England and Philip II of France, John signs away nearly all the continental land holdings that his father and brother had spent their lives fighting to obtain and hold on to. If you've ever wondered why there haven't been any more kings named John...
 
1370 - A bunch of Jews in Brussels are killed when they allegedly steal a bunch of consecrated communion hosts for reasons, then stab them for presumably similar reasons. The remaining Jews are banished from the city. As a surely unexpected side-effect, all of their property is then confiscated.
 
1455 - Richard, Duke of York, defeats and captures King Henry VI at the Battle of St. Albans, beginning the Wars of the Roses. He doesn't even want to be king at this point; he just wants someone competent (himself, obvs) running the country as the king's regent.
 
1762 - Inauguration of Trevi Fountain in Rome. It is said that if you toss a coin into it, you will return there someday. I can feel its pull on me even now...
 
1804 - Lewis and Clark (and a bunch of other dudes) set out from St. Charles, Missouri on their journey into the mostly unknown western lands. They're all going to die in their ignorance unless they can find a pregnant teenaged woman to save all their asses.
 
1809 - At the Battle of Aspern-Essling near Vienna, Napoleon is defeated and repelled by an enemy army for the first time, proving he is not invincible. This also means that Alexander is able to keep his mantle of GoAT.
 
1856 - Two days after Massachusetts senator Charles Sumner made a heated speech denouncing slavery and the attempted spread of slavery into new territories that contained some very colorful language and suggestive accusations, as well as some direct insults against some southern lawmakers, South Carolina senator Preston Brooks responds via the totally reasonable approach of beating Sumner to near death with a cane on the Senate floor. Fox News describes it as a passionate defense of southern values.
 
1906 - The Wright brothers receive a patent for their so-called "flying machine". Whatever.
 
1939 - Germany and Italy sign the Pact of Steel, agreeing to be best pals forever and that France and Britain are big smelly poop-heads.
 
1942 - Mexico joins World War 2 on the side of the allies. Hands up if you had no idea this ever happened.
 
1972 - Ceylon adopts a new constitution, making it a republic. They also join the Commonwealth, and perhaps most importantly of all, change their name to Sri Lanka, requiring the global reprinting of maps.
 
1990 - North and South Yemen perform the fusion dance.
 
2015 - Ireland is the first country on Earth to legalize same-sex marriage in a public referendum. We can only conclude that Ireland is unique among nations in that neither their government NOR their general population is made up of intolerant douchebags.
 

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On May 23 in History:
 
635 - Birth of future king of Bàakʼ (Palenque), Kʼinich Kan Bahlam II, whose name means "Radiant Snake Jaguar". I defy you to find anyone with a more badass name than that.
 
1533 - Henry VIII, having been denied permission from the Pope to nullify his marriage to Catherine of Aragon, does it anyway. It's good to be the king.
 
1618 - The Second Defenestration of Prague occurs, precipitating the Thirty Years' War. That's right; political figures being thrown out of windows in Prague is something that happens often enough to require numbering.
 
1788 - South Carolina ratifies the U.S. Constitution. "For now."
 
1824 - Birth of future American general and celebrated mutton chops enthusiast Ambrose Burnside.
 
1844 - A 24 year old merchant from Shiraz in Iran declares himself to be a prophet from God, and begins calling himself Báb ("gate" or "door"). I'm beginning to think starting a religion is easier than I've been led to believe.
 
1844 again - Birth of `Abdu'l-Bahá, son of Bahá'í founder Bahá'u'lláh, and third central figure of the faith after his father and the aforementioned Báb. It's a sign, I tell you!
 
1873 - The North-West Mounted Police is established by the Canadian Parliament. If I recall my childhood cartoon education correctly, they wear kilts and ride singing yaks.
 
1934 - Infamous bank robbers Bonnie and Clyde are ambushed and killed by police in Louisiana, each shot anywhere from 25-50 times. There's no kill like overkill.
 
1998 - 75% of the people of Northern Ireland vote to accept the Good Friday Agreement, easing tensions with Ireland and essentially allowing everyone to live together in peace. No word yet on what aspect of the decades of turmoil and terrorism the other 25% found so appealing.
 
2017 - Roger Moore able to Live a good life, And now we must Let him Die.

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On May 24 in History:
 
15 BCE - Future Roman general Germanicus is born. I really wish I could have said "Future Roman emperor". Ah, what could have been...
 
1567 - Erik XIV of Sweden gets on his knees in the cell of nobleman Svante Sture and begs his forgiveness for falsely accusing him of conspiracy and treason, imprisoning him and torturing him. Later that day he stabs Sture's son Nils, then returns to Sture's cell and gets on his knees again, apologizing for now having to kill Sture as he could never expect forgiveness for murdering his son. He does so, then orders his guards to kill Sture's three other associates also imprisoned. Trump doesn't seem so bad now, eh?
 
1607 - Members of the Powhatan tribe look on in confusion as 100 English settlers disembark on their front lawn. Unlike any who came before, these white people are here to stay.
 
1621 - The Protestant Union, a coalition of various states within the Holy Roman Empire that had banded together in order to protect themselves, their rights, and their property from the Catholic emperor, dissolves because the emperor tells them to.
 
1626 - Dutch trader Peter Minuit buys the island of Manhattan from the Lenape natives for a little over a thousand dollars in today's money. If only he'd had the foresight to establish rent control.
 
1689 - English parliament passes the Act of Toleration, allowing freedom of worship to those Christians who did not follow the Church of England. Not Catholics though, because screw them. It also notably does not extend freedom of worship to atheists. Fortunately, we don't need it.
 
1819 - Princess Alexandrina Victoria is born into the British royal family. As a female child of the fourth son of the current king, the best she can probably ever hope for is a marriage to a middle-ranked noble somewhere in Europe. In fact, she's so far down the line I don't even know why I'm putting her on here.
 
1822 - At the Battle of Pichincha, independence for Quito (essentially modern day Ecuador) is secured. And they didn't even need Bolívar!
 
1844 - Samuel Morse sends an inaugural telegraph message from D.C. to Baltimore, reading, "What hath God wrought?" The second half of the message, sadly lost to history, reads, "Nothing! This was all me, bitches!"
 
1856 - John Brown and some pals kill five supporters of slavery in Kansas, because as we all know, murder is the most efficient path to social progress.
 
1915 - Italy declares war on its heretofore ally Austria-Hungary in order to get its hands on Tyrol and some of that sweet, sweet Balkan coastline. They will come to regret this.
 
1956 - Some silly song contest is held by the Eurovision network in Switzerland. Artists from other countries are invited to perform, but I really don't see this taking off.
 
1993 - Eritrea gains independence from Ethiopia. They are now free to have the second worse rating for press freedom after North Korea, and one of the worst human rights records in the world. Liberty!

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