Homelander versus

[The Old Hack 2,448]

Well I am kinda bored so I decided to do something silly. People love to argue about which superhero could beat which so I am creating a list of what would happen if Homelander got into a fight with various heroes. With no further ado here goes.

 

-- Homelander vs. The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl

Homelander stands no chance here. Squirrel Girl wins hands down. She's unbeatable. It says so right there in her name.

-- Homelander vs. Deadpool

Deadpool wins. It will most likely take him a whole movie and will certainly involve fourth wall breaking, ludicrous amounts of weaponry and gratuitous violence, completely undeserved luck and a lot of really terrible jokes, but at the end of the day Homelander has no chance here.

-- Homelander vs. the Spider-Verse

Obviously Homelander has no chance here, I am just really amused by the mental image of infinite Spider-Heroes dogpiling that POS.

-- Homelander vs. Kermit the Frog

Kermit wins. You'd think that even Homelander could beat up an innocent nonviolent plushie frog, and yes he can, but as soon as Miss Piggy notices what he is doing he is done for.

-- Homelander vs. Cyclops

Homelander wins. He will make that whiny-ass Scott Summers his b-word. Congratulations, list, you finally found a 'hero' I hate even more than Homelander.

-- Homelander vs. Thanos

Who wins? Who cares? Nobody likes either of them. Let them fight.

-- Homelander vs. Galactus

Galactus eats the Earth and wins. It was a mistake to let Homelander handle that one. You need real heroes to handle the Planet Eater.

-- Homelander vs. Mr. Incredible

While Mr. Incredible's victory is a foregone conclusion, Homelander will nonetheless somehow be defeated by the fact that his costume has a cape. He should have listened to Edna Mode.

And finally...

-- Homelander vs. Elon Musk

Obviously Homelander will pound Musk into a thin paste but once again the mental image is so very satisfying so I am including the matchup anyway.

 

That's all I can think of this time. More silliness may or may not follow later or you can add your own. Have a good time.

~tOH.

[mlooney 3,417]

I need to The Boys some time.

14 minutes ago, The Old Hack said:

You need real heroes to handle the Planet Eater.

Isn't the Fantastic Four who normally fights Galactus?  It's been years since I read any comic books and I just barely watch superhero movies. 

[The Old Hack 2,448]

1 minute ago, mlooney said:

Isn't the Fantastic Four who normally fights Galactus?  It's been years since I read any comic books and I just barely watch superhero movies. 

It varies. It is usually the Fantastic Four but occasionally other heroes have fought him, too. Squirrel Girl took him down once. Another time Hercules so hilariously failed to stop Galactus that he actually made the Planet Eater laugh and decide to spare the planet Hercules was trying to protect because he couldn't even remember the last time he laughed. And Galactus has a LONG memory.

[mlooney 3,417]

2 minutes ago, The Old Hack said:

It varies. It is usually the Fantastic Four but occasionally other heroes have fought him, too. Squirrel Girl took him down once. Another time Hercules so hilariously failed to stop Galactus that he actually made the Planet Eater laugh and decide to spare the planet Hercules was trying to protect because he couldn't even remember the last time he laughed. And Galactus has a LONG memory.

Well, of course Squirrel Girl took him down.  She wins every fight she gets into.  Just does it a little of screen.

[The Old Hack 2,448]

Just now, mlooney said:

Well, of course Squirrel Girl took him down.  She wins every fight she gets into.  Just does it a little of screen.

Obviously. She is unbeatable after all.

[mlooney 3,417]

Since it's known that Marvel and DC comics exists in the EGS world, I wonder if Grace reads about Squirrel Girl?

[Darth Fluffy 302]

6 hours ago, The Old Hack said:

And finally...

-- Homelander vs. Elon Musk

Obviously Homelander will pound Musk into a thin paste but once again the mental image is so very satisfying so I am including the matchup anyway.

Nice punchline to the post.

[The Old Hack 2,448]

18 hours ago, mlooney said:

Since it's known that Marvel and DC comics exists in the EGS world, I wonder if Grace reads about Squirrel Girl?

Obviously Grace is completely nuts about her.

[mlooney 3,417]

/me  Gets a star but not a notation due to being in context and not forced.