The Old Hack

On the other hand, I am currently being investigated by the Gazpacho Police. They suspect me of being a Progresso.

And then we have parody versions...
(I wrote an opening for one. Artie was a pre-teen or barely-teen orphan and food-thief who, while running from the shire-reeve, hoped to get lost in a crowd - and suddenly had to try to jump over that rock and sword. Just barely failed. Landed on her back with the sword in her hand... and I stopped there.)

Yeah, she often sits and naps  on The Box, which isn't in my way.  Or sleeps on the bed while I'm out of it.  Of course while I'm in the bed she frequently is in the way if I'm trying to read.

Is it possible for a Cat to be comfortable without being in someone"s way?

"You can put your tea on the other side of the noisy thing.  I'm comfortable here and I'm not really in your way" - Explorer the Cat.


 

Just got back from the spine surgeon's office. He said the EMG test pinpointed a pinched nerve on my left side at C6/C7. This, in combination with my MRI and my reported pain, was reason enough to operate. He's going to do an Anterior Cervical Decompression Fusion on C4/C5, C5/C6, and C6/C7. Basically, he'll be removing my discs and replacing them with metal & bone grafts. This will all be done through an incision on the front side of my neck.
No date is scheduled for this yet. I've just finished going through the hell of setting up a pre-op neck X-ray for tomorrow. After that comes a few pre-op clearances, then a pre-op appointment, then lord knows what else.
Recovery is going to take a while as well. I'm going to be inpatient for a couple of nights, then home with a cervical collar for 6 weeks, then doing physical therapy for 6 weeks. Much fun.
All of this for a predicted 50% pain reduction. Oh well - it's better than nothing.

Unfortunately, IQ, literacy, & similar tests are traditionally designed not to keep out the stupid, but people who disagree with those in power.  And there will always be someone in power who finds people like that useful

I believe the original quote goes "Fishy ladies in ponds handing out swords to random passersbys is not a rational basis for creating a government."
<is briefly tempted to ask this to go to the political thread instead just to brighten the place up a little>

"Yeah, I'm back off the bed.  I told you about 3.  Glad you made it last time I got off it.  Well, not really glad, but you know what I mean" - Explorer the Cat.


 

"I'm off the bed.  You might want to make it now" - Explorer the Cat.
 

 

The RNC has announced that beating Capitol cops to death with the American flag is legitimate political discourse.
I feel ill.

https://www.egscomics.com/comic/balance-114
For a moment I thought the 'DING' was Ashley leveling up

That explains why the MyPillow guy is constantly foaming at the mouth.

"The Red Dot.  Must get the Red Dot!" - Explorer to Cat.
 
 

"I'll get that out in a while.  She does love chasing her red dot" - The Human.

"Gonna try and freak The Human out by staring at a spot on the floor for a while.  Then jump up and land on it.  Then act like nothing was going on." - Explorer the Cat


 

"I'm not in the way.  I'm all the way over to the side of the desk.  You can even work on the noisy thing with out me being in the way.  I don't care if this is where you put your boring tea." - Explorer the Cat.


 

I got some good news yesterday from the Optical place. I won't have to be blind for a week!
The guy fixed my frames, cleaned up my lenses (but left the scratches in place), then took a $400 order for new lenses. He said I could wear what I've got, scratches and all, until the new lenses come in, at which point he'd swap them out in about a 15 minute operation. It's still going to take a week to get them, so I'm taking a sabbatical from Facebook and a few other places for that time (it's hard enough to see through the scratches). However, I'll be online here in at least some capacity.
They might put in some artificial discs, depending on what the situation is. I think it's more likely that they'll remove bone, though.

I just got bad news (not really bad, but possibly bad).  My kidney function went down (to 54 from 59), not up with the latest blood test.  So, I'm still restricted to 2 cups of tea a day.  She also wants me to increase my fluid intake.  That might be tricky.  Looking for a local consult to talk to a specialist about it.

Here's what I looked like after getting treated in the ER. Note the scratches on the right eyeglass lens.

* sigh * As if I needed anything else to happen to me.
I spent Saturday afternoon in a Level 1 trauma ER. Why? Because I slipped on black ice on my backyard patio and landed on my face, and because the paramedics who responded freaked out because I take Eliquis (a blood thinner). Allow me to explain.
We had a hard freeze Saturday night. During the day, I heard water running outside, so i put on my shoes, grabbed my cane, and stepped out back to investigate. I didn't make it one step out on the concrete patio before I lost my footing and started falling face first. I landed on 1) my right knee, 2) my right wrist, 3) the 4th and 5th fingers of my hands, and 4) the right side of my face. I drew blood from each location.
My glasses cushioned my fall - they wound up bent and scratched all to hell. I'm going to have to have them replaced, so as of Monday I'm going to be offline for a week or so, most likely.
I wasn't able to get up on my own, so I called out for help a few times. No response. I gave up on that, forced myself up on my injured hands and knees, and crawled over the threshold and back inside. There I collapsed for a while, then dragged myself on the floor to my cell phone where I called 911 (actually, I had Google call 911 for me - I couldn't focus on the number pad through my screwed up glasses). 
Five EMS personnel showed up and argued with me about going to the hospital. They were insistent that I go, saying that I might have a cranial hemorrhage worst case. I gave in and went. I was kind of glad I did, because once the adrenaline wore off, the pain kicked in. I was given fentanyl, but it didn't help. They eventually gave me a milligram of Dilaudid, which did help.
They took X-rays of my knee, lower leg, and hands, and did CT scans of my shoulders, neck, and head. All came back negative for new damage (of course, they showed what my other doctors had been reporting - bad knee, bad spine, etc.). So, with that, they cleaned up and dressed my wounds and discharged me to a pissed off Mrs. Prof.
I am now banned from going outside without supervision.

"I am not in the way.  You can get to at least half the noisy thing.  Plus I'm going to jump off here and go eat soon, so you can wait" - Explorer the Cat.


 

"The Human pointed the flashy thing at me, but it didn't flash.  I approve of this." - Explorer the Cat.

"Facing east into good light will do that for you.  First natural light shot of her in a while" - The Human.


 

"Spending some time on the little not butt warmers place.  Good way to look outside the house.  Looks cold out there.  Glad I live inside now" - Explorer the Cat.



 

"A sweater is a garment that a child wears when their mother feels cold".  Don't remember where I got that from, but it's a quote from some where.

<google>  Ah, here is it is.  Chilly not cold, but it's an Ambrose Bierce quote.

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/20256-sweater-n-garment-worn-by-child-when-its-mother-is