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CritterKeeper

Things You Find Amusing

272 posts in this topic

12 minutes ago, mlooney said:

And, yes, I've seen some one that claimed he was a "master" of a Bat'leth vs a middle of the road SCA light weapon user "spar".  If spar is what you call a fencer using a fanboi as a moving target.

I still want to see what happens if someone tries to use a gyrspike. I just don't think it will be easy to find a volunteer.

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The bat'leth does have better range than a weapon that you *only* hold in the center, that's why it's got grips along most of its length on one side.  Not saying it's a practical weapon, just that it's not *quite* as impractical as ou make it out to be.  ;-)

Seems like swinging the bat'leth near the end would give a fairly powerful swing at the other end, but not very well controlled.

I saw a fighting team doing a demo years ago, and after going through several real-life weapons, they asked for requests from the audience.  When the inevitable wag called out "Light sabers!" they pulled out a pair of plastic toy light sabers, and proceeded to explain things like, they'd be used more like a rapier than a broadsword, given that you only need to make contact with the tip to do damage, and that the double-bladed one that had just come out at the time would be used more like a quarterstaff than an edged weapon.  Thus, I kinda picture a bat'lath being used more like a quarterstaff, too.

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On 4/3/2017 at 8:28 PM, CritterKeeper said:

I know, it's not about the goodies, it's about supporting the artists, but that just gets back to the budgeting issue.

Read loud and clear. I can only afford to support a pair of artists right now. I'd go bust (and get my chops busted by Mrs. Prof) if I supported every one that I read.

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From tonight's Family Feud:

Grant: Name an Australian celebrity known for wearing a hat.

Contestant: ...Grant Denyer?

 

For the record, no, he really isn't.

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These guys (Lebanese special forces) raid a bank and some office buildings for being a funding source for ISIS.

GS2_1.jpg

What I found amusing was what they left after the raid

Quote

Afterwards, the raided premises were sealed with red wax and a sign from the military prosecutor warning against their reopening “under penalty of prosecution.”

Penalty of prosecution?  I would worry about penalty of 9mm my self.

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2 hours ago, mlooney said:

Penalty of prosecution?  I would worry about penalty of 9mm my self.

It sounds a little nicer than "under penalty of being raided by a heavily armed SWAT team that is entirely lacking in anything resembling a sense of humour." o.o

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6 hours ago, mlooney said:
Quote

“under penalty of prosecution.”

Penalty of prosecution?  I would worry about penalty of 9mm my self.

 

4 hours ago, The Old Hack said:

"under penalty of being raided by a heavily armed SWAT team that is entirely lacking in anything resembling a sense of humour."

Lebanon is in a perpetual state of war or potential war.  If the evidence against the bank is strong enough, the military could be justified in a preemptive strike against an enemy asset rather than wait for the normal judicial proceedings.

Whether or not the officer ordering the raid had the authority to do so is a matter for Lebanon's courts and legislature to decide.

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2 minutes ago, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

Whether or not the officer ordering the raid had the authority to do so is a matter for Lebanon's courts and legislature to decide.

The problem with that is that once it is done, it is little consolation to those who have been pre-emptively and unhumorously struck if the legislature finds that the officer ordering the raid exceeded his authority.

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7 minutes ago, The Old Hack said:

The problem with that is that once it is done, it is little consolation to those who have been pre-emptively and unhumorously struck if the legislature finds that the officer ordering the raid exceeded his authority.

Unfortunately, that potential exists in every society which has an army or police force who obey orders from imperfect humans.

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1 hour ago, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

Unfortunately, that potential exists in every society which has an army or police force who obey orders from imperfect humans.

I am sure it was much better back home for you. After all, you were a God-King. o.O

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Someone at the Bank of Canada has a geeky sense of humor. For Canada's 150th birthday they rolled out a new $10 bill design, but is someone was to use the Konami Code using the arrow keys (and B A) then the site will start playing an 8 bit version of our national anthem while smaller $10 bills float down from the top of the page.

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3 hours ago, Scotty said:

Someone at the Bank of Canada has a geeky sense of humor.

Ah.  Bored programmer effect.  Never underestimate what that can do.  Unix and Linux, for example

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1 hour ago, mlooney said:

Ah.  Bored programmer effect.  Never underestimate what that can do.  Unix and Linux, for example

Or just bored developer. I was once supposed to make a very large number of merchant NPCs for a revision of the game server I was playing on at the time. The first fifty or sixty percent of them were fairly serious. But the more of them I made and the closer the deadline got, the weirder the NPCs got, too.

Here is a sample of one from when I was very nearly done. It was an ancient red dragon merchant who had realised it could make a huge profit selling the magic items of heroes that had tried to kill it. Its intro line was, "Tremble, O Mortal, for I am Maxidoomius, greatest and most terrible of all dragons. Would you like to see my wares?"

Sadly, our head dev nixed poor Maxidoomius. I have absolutely no idea why. Except maybe that he was prejudiced against red dragons.

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24 minutes ago, The Old Hack said:

maybe that he was prejudiced against red dragons

The Red Dragon is the National Symbol of Wales.  Your boss was insulting the third most interesting principality in Europe.

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1 hour ago, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

The Red Dragon is the National Symbol of Wales.  Your boss was insulting the third most interesting principality in Europe.

Or perhaps avoiding insulting it.

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So, this was a real thing.1  Granted not in an area where Doc would be affected.

autotwb2338.png

1Yes, I know the Coke is the real thing.  Shut up.

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1 hour ago, mlooney said:

 

1Yes, I know the Coke is the real thing.  Shut up.

 

It's only the real thing if it's got real sugar in it. ;)

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4 hours ago, mlooney said:

1Yes, I know the Coke is the real thing.  Shut up.

A somewhat related disaster happened in Denmark once. A whiskey distillery plant located some fifty miles northwest of Copenhagen suffered from rather aging electronics and security measures. Some of the rubber insulation covering some high-power electric wires had gotten so old that it had hardened and eventually cracked open, possibly due to temperature changes. Sparks ensued, igniting some of the thick layer of dust covering the wires, releasing a vile cloud of stinking smoke. This smoke impacted on the very sensitive smoke detectors of the place (fire not being viewed as a desirable thing in a whiskey distillery) and the fire safety systems went off. Unfortunately their first priority was to dump an entire month's production of whiskey -- one hundred and twenty five thousand gallons -- into a nearby stream to get it out of the way of a possible fire.

As you can imagine, this was 1) not very good for the stream and 2) impossible for the distillery to hide. It became quite a local media sensation and many bad jokes on the lines of "at least the fish died happy" ensued. However, the mayor of the local municipality was not amused. He gave the distillery three months to modernise its electronics and fire safety system or else.

With this ultimatum on the desk of the distillery's director, management knew that it had two vital tasks to complete that took precedence over everything else. One, to fix blame. Two, to procrastinate as much as possible while fighting over whose department had to cover the expenses of updating the electronics of the distillery. The world being what it is, they still had not completed either task three months later. And then the mayor showed up in person so they could show him around and explain what had been done.

During his visit they managed to switch on some rarely used light fixtures. These had old cracked rubber insulation on their wiring. Sparks ensued, the smoke detectors screamed bloody murder and the fire safety system dumped another 125.000 gallons of raw whiskey into the hapless stream. Once again the local media had a field day, families started to picnic near the distillery in the hopes of recovering some of the booze the next time it decided to take a dump, and by now even the most outraged environmentalists in the area could only view the whole affair with gallows humour. "When we were considering what to do in order to restore the ecological balance of the stream," one said, "dumping another huge load of whiskey into it wasn't actually under consideration."

Needless to say, the mayor was still not amused. The very next day the distillery received a shutdown order and was informed that it would not be allowed to reopen until an entire inspection team had assured itself that the entire facility had been thoroughly modernised.

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XKCD for the win.

This amuses the hell out the Air Defense veteran in me.

identification_chart.png

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3 hours ago, mlooney said:

Even though I don't fly anywhere any more, it looks like a GREAT time to fly Delta on a busy flight.

You know, I have this suspicion that United's policy of offering a brutal disfiguring beating and violent ejection from the flight in return for giving up your seat may not be the best way to go for Best Customer Service of the Year Award amongst airlines.

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This was just brought to my attention by a friend whom I got reading EGS last year:

17626426_10154296535255896_2955666816738

Note the names over the kiss mark? I doubt Dan considered this when putting Grace and Tedd together, but it explains why they're relationship is soo good. ;)

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On 15/04/2017 at 11:09 AM, The Old Hack said:

You know, I have this suspicion that United's policy of offering a brutal disfiguring beating and violent ejection from the flight in return for giving up your seat may not be the best way to go for Best Customer Service of the Year Award amongst airlines.

Me too, it's almost as if customers don't like getting beaten black and blue.

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