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"I'll sit on The Human's shoulder and kneed his belly" - Explorer the Cat.

My significant other just lost her shit at the TV while watching archaeology on the science channel. I was sitting quietly in the other room when I heard her yell at the TV. "DIE, YOU MORON! DIE!" I went to investigate and it turned out that the narrator was speaking of an ancient die from a game but called it 'a dice' she didn't actually want him to die, she was just offended at him confusing singular and plural then yelled, "I REFUSE TO WATCH THIS LEVEL OF STUPID ANYMORE" it seemed he had also offended her sensibilities in other ways then she switched to a true crime show "I AM GOING TO WATCH SOME NICE WHOLESOME MURDER" at that point I carefully retreated, wary of inadvertently calling her fury down on me O.O I love her but there are times it is far safer to leave her some room so she can calm down in peace.

No, after the third one you sing the first line of "Silent Night".

I think it is from Greek fishing traditions It's tradition, that makes it OK

Poe’s Law states that any sufficiently ludicrous rant is indistinguishable from a parody thereof.

On a related note, YouTube just offered a friend of mine a conspiracy theory video that explained why the Internet is actually a hoax. I am morally certain that the irony utterly escaped whatever imbecile posted that video.

On our twelfth day of delving, our DM sent at us, Twelve rats a-swarming, Eleven critters crawling, Ten kobolds sniping, Nine goblins rushing, Eight zombies shuffling, Seven wargs a-snapping, Six orcs a-bashing, Five magic rings, (water breathing, and we're in a desert) ((they'll need them, I'm planning a flash flood)) Four traps a-springing, Three deer for eating, Two mimic chests, And a dead warrior in a cube of jelly.

"What to you mean I'm in the way? You can see the screen and use the noisy thing. What's a computer mouse any way?" - Explorer the Cat.