Pharaoh RutinTutin

June 24 1374 – A sudden outbreak of St. John's Dance causes people in the streets of Aachen, Germany, to experience hallucinations and begin to jump and twitch uncontrollably until they collapse from exhaustion. "Dance "Til You Drop" in this case is not an invitation to party. 1497 – John Cabot lands in North America at Newfoundland leading the first European exploration of the region since the Vikings. If the Vikings didn't bother to return, what makes you think there will be something interesting this time? 1509 – Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon are crowned King and Queen of England. Did Henry buy or rent that crown for the Queen? 1535 – The Anabaptist state of Münster is conquered and disbanded. The profession of Münster hunting can have political uses besides simple public safety. 1779 – American Revolutionary War: The Great Siege of Gibraltar begins. Because the attempt by France and Spain to seize Gibraltar is purely to support the American cause. Not an attempt to push Britain out of the Mediterranean. 1813 – Battle of Beaver Dams: A British and Indian combined force defeats the United States Army. If you fight a battle, you may lose. That is simply a part of war. But it can not be pleasant to explain how you lost the Battle of Beaver Dams. 1916 – Mary Pickford becomes the first female film star to sign a million-dollar contract. Ridiculous decision. Nobody goes to the movies to look at pretty girls. 1918 – First airmail service in Canada from Montreal to Toronto. Does this mean everything west of Ontario still depends on smoke signals?

And this discussion has entered freefall

June 23 1532 – Henry VIII of England and Francis I of France sign a secret treaty against Emperor Charles V, Holy Roman Emperor. Mr VIII didn't need Secret Treaties to deal with inconvenient Queens. Why should troublesome Emperors be so much more difficult? 1611 – Henry Hudson, his son, and seven loyal crew members are set adrift in an open boat in what is now Hudson Bay by the mutinous crew of Hudson's fourth voyage. They are never heard from again. The only part of the story I don't understand is why did the survivors admit to a mutiny? 1713 – The French residents of Acadia are given one year to declare allegiance to Britain or leave Nova Scotia, Canada. Many choose to leave. And many of those who leave settle in the Mississippi bayous where the descendants of the Acadians will become the ancestors of Cajun culture. Somehow, Halifax Gumbo and Zydeco just wouldn't be as appealing as what grew in Louisiana. 1868 – Christopher Latham Sholes received a patent for an invention he called the "Type-Writer." Within five years, the QWERTY keyboard would become standard. Did the man just not understand the concept of Alphabetical Order? 1894 – The International Olympic Committee is founded at the Sorbonne in Paris, at the initiative of Baron Pierre de Coubertin. This is a friendly exercise to encourage physical fitness and sport in education. Certainly not a juggernaut of marketing and propaganda. 1940 – Architect Albert Speer and sculptor Arno Breker guide Adolf Hitler through the architecture of Paris in his only visit to the city. This was a three-hour tour. A three-hour tour. 1942 – World War II: Germany's latest fighter aircraft, a Focke-Wulf Fw 190, is captured intact when it mistakenly lands at RAF Pembrey in Wales. What does that pilot tell the other German prisoners when he gets to the POW camp? Do SOUTH and NORTH look more similar to each other on a German compass? 1960 – The United States Food and Drug Administration declares Enovid to be the first officially approved combined oral contraceptive pill in the world. This is a medical issue with absolutely no social, political, or religious connections. 1961 – The Antarctic Treaty, which sets aside Antarctica as a scientific preserve and bans military activity on the continent, comes into force 18 months after the opening date for signature was set for December 1, 1959. Ban military activity on Antarctica? Guys, this is called the "Cold War" for a reason. There is no colder place on Earth you could hold a war. 1991 – Sonic the Hedgehog is released to American audiences. As unbelievable as it may seem, before this time most people thought the hedgehog was not a particularly swift moving animal and it relied on its spines for defense. 2016 – The United Kingdom votes in a referendum to leave the European Union, by 52% to 48%. We're still waiting for the punchline to this joke, chaps.

You can't fly a fish while sitting on the neck of a giraffe in Chicago? What about the rest of Cook County? Illinois? How about Gary? Does this apply if the Giraffe is on the deck of a boat in Lake Michigan? The rights of responsible fish pilots to fly their fins from their long necked steeds should not be limited by legislative misunderstandings of the Giraffic Aeronautical Anglers.

Let's not start demanding miracles here. I'm sure Elliot will pick up his spell book again. Someday. Maybe. If he happens to think about it.

There are certain medical questions about gender that are not stupid. There are certain legal questions that are mandated by various regulations and should not be seen as an indication of the intelligence of the person asking those questions (even though the questions themselves may be stupid). And there are a few questions that may need to be answered to establish how the involved parties should address each other. But if the context isn't obviously a "Need To Know" situation, aren't all questions about an individual's gender "stupid"?

June 22 1633 – The Holy Office in Rome forces Galileo Galilei to recant his view that the Sun, not the Earth, is the center of the Universe in the form he presented it in, after heated controversy. For those unfamiliar with the context, "Heated Controversy" at that time meant "If you keep saying these controversial things, you will be heated by burning at the stake". 1813 – War of 1812: After learning of American plans for a surprise attack on Beaver Dams in Ontario, Laura Secord sets out on a 30 kilometer journey on foot to warn Lieutenant James FitzGibbon. Beaver Dams? Was that really the best plan the American military could devise? The United States is so lucky that Britain became bored with fighting us and was distracted (as always) by France. 1944 – U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signs into law the Servicemen's Readjustment Act of 1944, commonly known as the G.I. Bill. Treating veterans with respect and care after they leave the armed service? This could set a bad precedent. 1969 – The Cuyahoga River catches fire in Cleveland, Ohio, drawing national attention to water pollution, and spurring the passing of the Clean Water Act and the creation of the Environmental Protection Agency. Even more significantly, it seals the status of Cleveland as a punchline for decades to come. 1978 – Charon, Pluto's first satellite, was discovered at the United States Naval Observatory by James W. Christy. Dr Christy never explained why a satellite of Pluto was in the suburbs of Washington. And by the time NASA sent a probe, it was back in orbit of the Dwarf Planet. 1990 – Cold War: Checkpoint Charlie is dismantled in Berlin. Spies, defectors, and the inmates of Luft Stalag 13 discover their tunneling skills are now obsolete.

June 21 AARUGH!!!!! This got locked up in the editor instead of posting on time. Oops June Solstice. Because Scandinavians don't need it to be dark to take a decent nap. 1768 – James Otis, Jr. offends the King and Parliament in a speech to the Massachusetts General Court. Wait a minuteman! Are we supposed to keep track of every time someone in America says something that offends the British King and Parliament? 1791 – King Louis XVI of France and his immediate family begin the Flight to Varennes during the French Revolution. Louis, you would be better off catching the first flight out of France all together. 1898 – The United States captures Guam from Spain. The Spanish colonial governor and all the most prominent military and civil officers come down to the port to greet the unexpected lone American warship. There, the group is informed that Spain and the United States have been at war for some time now and they are all prisoners of war. 1982 – Birth of Prince William, Duke of Cambridge. The Prince Charming prototype for the Millennial Generation. 2006 – Moons of Pluto that had been recently discovered in 2005 are officially named. Hello Nix. Hail Hydra! Also, according to the American Humanist Association and the International Humanist and Ethical Union, this is World Humanist Day. However, I do not believe in Humans.

Unless the Temporary part is not available. To use Dragon abilities, it may be necessary to become a Dragon. Permanently.

If the Dragon should sneeze, it would incinerate everything in a one mile radius. It doesn't need a lot of other spells.

This was my first thought. But then I had another. Ellen's hair turned Green. The first "R" of the Green movement is "Reduce". Her spell book is now written in microtype.

Seven Deadly Virtues?

As far as the American government is concerned (and I don't need to trouble them with alternative facts) Winchester Cathedral was the number one song in America the week I was born. At least according to Billboard.

If I wanted an avatar based on my age, I would have put up a picture of Winchester Cathedral.

If Justin and Nanase are suppose to be Trainers, shouldn't they have trained their monsters to fight before it got to this point?

Is that even possible?

June 20 451 – Battle of Chalons: Flavius Aetius' battles Attila the Hun. After the battle, which was inconclusive, Attila retreats, causing the Romans to interpret it as a victory. Julius Caesar or Hadrian would not have called a stalemate where the enemy leader escapes a "Victory". Things just aren't what they used to be in the old legion. 1837 – Queen Victoria succeeds to the British throne. Rumor has it that King William IV hated Victoria's mother, Princess Victoria of Saxe-Coburg-Saalfeld, so much that he refused to die until after Alexandra Victoria turned eighteen. Just so Princes Victoria could not make herself Regent for her daughter even briefly. 1893 – Lizzie Borden is acquitted of the murders of her father and stepmother. Let this be a lesson to future prosecutors, you need more than a snappy poem to make a jury convict. Also, Lizzie Borden's defense attorney was the former Governor of Massachusetts who had earlier appointed the judge who presided over the case. 1895 – The Kiel Canal, crossing the base of the Jutland peninsula and the busiest artificial waterway in the world, is officially opened. Because who really wants to deal with Norway, Sweden, and Denmark just to go in and out of the Baltic? 1931 – Birth of Olympia Dukakis, American actress. In 1988, she would be nominated for an Oscar and her cousin would be nominated for the Presidency of the United States. Only one would win. 1944 – The experimental MW 18014 V-2 rocket reaches an altitude of 176 km, becoming the first man-made object to reach outer space. This was followed by... 1945 – The United States Secretary of State approves the transfer of Wernher von Braun and his team of Nazi rocket scientists to the U.S. under Operation Paperclip. So much could be said, but Tom Lehrer said it best. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjDEsGZLbio 1975 – The film Jaws is released in the United States, becoming the highest-grossing film of that time and starting the trend of films known as "summer blockbusters". The movie only made so much money because people were afraid to go to the beaches for completely unrelated reasons. 2003 – The Wikimedia Foundation is founded in St. Petersburg, Florida. Among other things, they make it possible for frustrated comedians to look passably clever when posting items to This Date In History threads.

So everybody did the wrong thing. But they did it with good intentions, or honestly had no idea what to do, so it's all ok. That sounds very nice. Almost a Disney or Sit-Com ending. And all things considered, it wouldn't do much good for Ellen to remain resentful or angry at her friends, neighbors, and relatives for being confused and clumsy back then. However... Next comic - Ellen doesn't just drop the other shoe. She drops the entire Prada werehouse.

If my memory serves, the same child actor played both René and young Jean-Luc in different episodes.

Russia is into the knockout round before anyone else. Columbia got a Red Card while losing to Japan. And Poland lost to Senegal. I'm not sure what I expected at this year's World Cup. But I'm pretty sure it wasn't any of these.

The time has come once again for the nations of this Earth to pause their petty wars and get on with some truly viscous conflicts. FUTBOL! Predictions? Comments? Suggestions? Here's an example question: Just because the US Men's National Team can't beat their neighbors from Central America and the Caribbean, is that any reason to keep them out of the big tournament?

NOW Krakatoa is a small island just West of Java. But what about BEFORE the volcano blew it there?

June 19 325 – The original Nicene Creed was presented at the First Council of Nicaea. This is what Christians believe. Case closed. No need to argue the details after this. 1269 – King Louis IX of France orders all Jews found in public without an identifying yellow badge to be fined ten livres of silver. Is this supposed to be historical precedent to justify certain actions of a later Austrian Corporal? 1865 – Over two years after the Emancipation Proclamation, slaves in Galveston, Texas, United States, are finally informed of their freedom. The anniversary is still officially celebrated in Texas and 41 other contiguous states as Juneteenth. More than two years to deliver a message? It's almost like the government and newspapers in the seceding states were deliberately avoiding getting Lincoln's message to the public. 1867 – Maximilian I of the Second Mexican Empire is executed by a firing squad in Querétaro, Querétaro. Ask any Caesar or Augustus you might meet. This sort of thing is an occupational hazard for Emperors. 1903 – Benito Mussolini, then a radical Socialist, arrested by Bern police for advocating a violent general strike. WHY DID THEY LET HIM GO? 1978 – Garfield, holder of the Guinness World Record for the world's most widely syndicated comic strip, makes its debut. Of course it is on a Monday. 1979 – W.T. Rabe, at the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island, Michigan, creates World Sauntering Day. This is in response to the growing insanity/popularity of jogging. 1991 – The Soviet occupation of Hungary ends. It is difficult for one country to occupy a second country when the first country itself no longer exists.

I know. But the historical note just screamed "Tom Lehrer's Lobachevsky" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQHaGhC7C2E

June 18 618 – Li Yuan becomes Emperor Gaozu of Tang, initiating three centuries of Tang dynasty rule over China. The Soviets may have launched Sputnik. The Americans may have gone to the Moon. But this much Tang means China was the real early leader of the Space Race. 1178 – Five Canterbury monks see what is possibly the Giordano Bruno crater being formed. It is believed that the current oscillations of the Moon's distance from the Earth (on the order of meters) are a result of this collision. Amazing that the monks at Canterbury were able to see something happen on the moon, yet no one at Canterbury was able to tell if the 1170 assassination of Thomas à Becket was actually ordered by King Henry II. 1778 – American Revolutionary War: British troops abandon Philadelphia. They got in one little fight and mom got scared. She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'. 1815 – Napoleonic Wars: The Battle of Waterloo results in the defeat of Napoleon Bonaparte by the Duke of Wellington and Gebhard Leberecht von Blücher forcing him to abdicate the throne of France for the second and last time. Just an example of the unfairness of politics. Louis Capet stuck his neck out for France, and he never got a second chance at the throne. 1858 – Charles Darwin receives a paper from Alfred Russel Wallace that includes nearly identical conclusions about evolution as Darwin's own, prompting Darwin to publish his theory. Nice theory, Alfred. Amazing how it matches a theory I already had on my own but had not yet published. 1900 – Empress Dowager Cixi of China orders all foreigners killed, including foreign diplomats and their families. Later politicians in many countries attempt to make the same populist appeal, but their attempts seem half hearted at best.