Pharaoh RutinTutin

01 August 30 BC – Octavian (later known as Augustus) enters Alexandria, Egypt, bringing it under the control of the Roman Republic. The old religion is relegated to the status of historical curiosity. Mark Antony, Roman general and politician, is dead. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CarU7kkS5k8 1714 – With the death of Queen Anne, George, Elector of Hanover, becomes King George I of Great Britain, marking the beginning of the House of Hanover and the Georgian era of British history. The Georgian era extends well beyond a few Kings. There are also names of colonies, leaders of rebellious colonies, and the most important George of all. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4hXdsVUnp4 1800 – The Acts of Union 1800 are passed which merge the Kingdom of Great Britain and the Kingdom of Ireland into the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland. Officially mentioning Ireland in the overall name of the Kingdom should convince the Irish that they are not being ruled by a foreign power. 1801 – First Barbary War: The American schooner USS Enterprise captures the Tripolitan polacca Tripoli in a single-ship action off the coast of modern-day Libya. And Captain Kirk beams down for a romantic encounter with a local female. 1834 – Slavery is abolished in the British Empire as the Slavery Abolition Act 1833 comes into force. Too bad they didn't get around to this about sixty years earlier. 1981 – MTV begins broadcasting in the United States and airs its first video, "Video Killed the Radio Star" by The Buggles. Yes, there actually was a time when MTV played music.

31 July 30 BC – Battle of Alexandria: Mark Antony achieves a minor victory over Octavian's forces, but most of his army subsequently deserts, leading to his suicide. When your troops desert after winning, the problems inside your army are probably bigger than that posed by the enemy. 781 – The oldest recorded eruption of Mount Fuji (Traditional Japanese date: 6th day of the 7th month of the 1st year of the Ten'o (天応) era). Official records from before that point mysteriously vanished under molten rock. 1588 – The Spanish Armada is spotted off the coast of England. Polka dots are not a good fashion choice for naval vessels. 1618 – Maurice, Prince of Orange disbands the waardgelders militia in Utrecht, a pivotal event in the Remonstrant/Counter-Remonstrant tensions. There is some disagreement on the identity of the Prince of Orange. Some people call him the space cowboy. Some call him the gangster of love. Only some people call him Maurice, 'cause he speaks of the pompitous of love... 1703 – Daniel Defoe is placed in a pillory for the crime of seditious libel after publishing a politically satirical pamphlet, but is pelted with flowers. Did Mr Defoe have hay fever? Were the flowers thorny roses? Were the flowers still in the vase? 1712 – Action of 31 July 1712 (Great Northern War): Danish and Swedish ships clash in the Baltic Sea; the result is inconclusive. Ammunition is spent. Effort is expended. Equipment is damaged. People are hurt and killed. And the politicians who started the war are in the same position they occupied before the battle. Inconclusive? That sounds like the conclusion of most human conflict. 1715 – Seven days after a Spanish treasure fleet of 12 ships left Havana, Cuba for Spain, 11 of them sink in a storm off the coast of Florida. A few centuries later, treasure is salvaged from these wrecks. The only thing surprising is that it take CENTURIES for someone to start salvaging treasure from the wrecks. 1777 – The U.S. Second Continental Congress passes a resolution that the services of Gilbert du Motier (Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette) "be accepted, and that, in consideration of his zeal, illustrious family and connexions, he have the rank and commission of major-general of the United States." Apparently all you need to get a commission as a general is connexions, and to bring your own army. 1790 – The first U.S. patent is issued, to inventor Samuel Hopkins for a potash process. That's the recipient of the first US patent? There was nothing under review with a little more pizazz that could have been moved to the front of the line for patent number one? 1938 – Archaeologists discover engraved gold and silver plates from King Darius the Great in Persepolis. And all this time, Darius had accused the hired help of stealing his fancy dishes. 1948 – At Idlewild Field in New York, New York International Airport (later renamed John F. Kennedy International Airport) is dedicated. Still waiting for them to find my luggage. 1948 – USS Nevada is sunk by an aerial torpedo after surviving hits from two atomic bombs (as part of post-war tests) and being used for target practice by three other ships. Which shipyard built the Nevada and why aren't they building every US Navy vessel? 1970 – Black Tot Day: The last day of the officially sanctioned rum ration in the Royal Navy. It seems the Admiralty finally ran out of responses to the old chanty "What Do You Do With A Drunken Sailor?"

"Kneel Before Zod!" That command becomes less fun to shout if no one is able or willing to stand in opposition.

Yes, it would be most helpful for all the immortals to know that what ever they think of Pandora's sacrifice, it was because Voltaire drove her to it. So which Immortal will be the first to disagree?

Neither was the original. But it just kept getting played over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over

Can't one also be the other?

28 July 1540 – A very busy day for England's Henry VIII. First he has Thomas Cromwell executed on charges of treason. Then Mr VIII marries his fifth wife, Catherine Howard, on the same day. 1794 – French Revolution: Maximilien Robespierre and Louis Antoine de Saint-Just are executed by guillotine in Paris, France. Would-be revolutionaries need to realize that those who start the revolution rarely survive, much less lead, after the revolution. 1868 – The 14th Amendment to the United States Constitution is certified, establishing African American citizenship and guaranteeing due process of law. We'll see how that works out when we check back in about fifty, no, forty nine years... 1914 – In the culmination of the July Crisis, Austria-Hungary declares war on Serbia. This will probably remain a localized conflict. 1915 – The United States begins a 19-year occupation of Haiti. Because somehow this was supposed to keep the fighting in Europe from spreading to the Americas? 1915 – Meanwhile, the same day in America saw a number of notable births. Charles Hard Townes, American physicist and academic, Nobel Prize laureate. Inventor of the MASER. Dick Sprang, American illustrator. Frequent uncredited "Ghost" artist for Bob Kane and perhaps the single biggest contributor to the golden age look of The Batman. And Frankie Yankovic, because if we don't appreciate the legacy of American polka musicians, who will? 1917 – Forty nine years after the 14th Amendment is certified, the Silent Parade took place in New York City in protest to murders, lynchings, and other violence directed towards African Americans. Yes, that amendment did work out well. 1932 – U.S. President Herbert Hoover orders the United States Army to forcibly evict the "Bonus Army" of World War I veterans gathered in Washington, D.C. Hoover's popularity with the American People and history can not, at this point, get much worse. So why not order the Army to start shooting at veterans? 1939 – The Sutton Hoo helmet is discovered. And no one believed Horton... 1945 – A U.S. Army B-25 bomber crashes into the 79th floor of the Empire State Building. But that darn gorilla still won't let go of Fay Wray. 1984 – The 1984 Summer Olympics officially known as the games of the XXIII were opened in Los Angeles. In the LA Coliseum, 84 pianos play Gershwin's Rhapsody In Blue while Ronald Regan recites the same declaration that had been given by others like Queen Elizabeth II in Montréal and Adolph Hitler in Berlin. 1996 – The remains of a prehistoric man are discovered near Kennewick, Washington. To the shock of absolutely no one, paleontologists refer to the remains as the Kennewick Man. 2012 – World Hepatitis Day. A Guinness World Record was created when 12,588 people from 20 countries did the Three Wise Monkeys actions to signify the willful ignorance of the disease. So it is possible to make yourself seen and heard when you see no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil.

Ah yes. I was right.

It wasn't traditional hypnosis. It was subliminable messages in funny cat videos.

I may be wrong. (Wait, how could I be wrong? I'm writing this on the intertubes. And everything written on line is right. Right?) But back to my point. If I am not mistaken, this montage is the first time we have seen Ashley and Dianne in the same comic.

Theories about cosmic inflation usually are referring to space. I suppose they could apply to time as well.

Making Justin perform the Chicken Dance is disturbing, but mostly silly. However, if he starts laying eggs I will NOT go to Moperville for breakfast!

27 July 1054 – Siward, Earl of Northumbria invades Scotland and defeats the King for whom the Scottish Play is named somewhere north of the Firth of Forth. MacDuff would not lay on for several years yet. 1663 – The English Parliament passes the second Navigation Act requiring that all goods bound for the American colonies have to be sent in English ships from English ports. This seems perfectly reasonable and should in no way make those in the colonies resentful of their distant government. 1694 – A Royal charter is granted to the Bank of England. Railways through Africa, Dams across the Nile, fleets of ocean Greyhounds, Majestic, self-amortizing canals, Plantations of ripening tea, All from tuppence, prudently fruitfully, frugally invested... 1794 – French Revolution: Maximilien Robespierre is arrested after encouraging the execution of more than 17,000 "enemies of the Revolution". After so much encouragement, monsieur Robespierre should know what to expect next. 1940 – The animated short A Wild Hare is released, introducing the character of Bugs Bunny. Apparently we are no longer required to determine if the person to whom we are speaking has a terminal degree before asking "What's up, Doc?" 1987 – RMS Titanic Inc. begins the first expedited salvage of wreckage of the RMS Titanic. No amount of archaeology, however, will recover the career of Leonardo DiCaprio 2018 – The longest lasting Lunar Eclipse of the 21st Century is visible at least in part to much of Asia, Europe, Africa, Antarctica, Australia, and South America. However North America is excluded from the viewing party.

I am disappointed. The last time EGS featured a Montage page, it prominently featured Jeremy. Where is the Kitty? Did someone Zappa the Kitty? Elliot's lack of hare cut? I think shorter hair would be better for Elliot, at least in the default male form. It just seems like one more little detail that could help preserve the secret identity. Elliot has short hair. All these strange women at the Dunkle house have long hair. The Unfortunately-Named-Cheerleader-Themed-Super-Heroine has long hair. They obviously can not be the same people. The giant cat is an American Shorthair? It must be Elliot. Ellen's variable hair color? Can we get to the color Sketchbook pictures featuring Ellen's new look? I'm pretty sure I'm not seeing what Dan is intending through Grayscale. Diane's new haircut does not resemble the way Sarah wears her hair now. But it does resemble the way Sarah wore her hair a long time ago. Back when Sarah was one of the few people with whom Susan had any sort of human contact. Panel Four must be the promotional shot for "Kevin & Mittens", the comedic paranormal soap opera of a teenage girl and the magic wand that tries to be mentor/father figure/best friend she doesn't want or need. Sarah is getting in better shape. It wasn't so long ago that the thought of running a mile in gym left her winded. But now she made it across town to Mr Raven's house without breaking a sweat. Gate A23? Lots of airports have a gate A23. So Edward could be at almost any commercial airport. Now if he had been waiting for a "Code Spooky" flight, he should have been waiting at Gate 13.

Or as they call that in Anime, Friday.

That was important, at one time. But then Rasputin insisted that we should be able to predict floods on the Nile and explosions on the Tunguska river with the same calendar. Things fell apart after that.

You don't actually need most of that. You can make a calendar with little more than counting. The other stuff just makes it more likely to be used by other people. Or were you specifically talking about calendars that would be useful to people who must do things in the real world? Well then yes, that is rather difficult. For that, find a culture that already made a pretty good calendar. Then find out the mistakes in that calendar. Then let your own astrologers and accountants play with the numbers. Next, change the names. Then use your military to force everyone you can to use your new calendar.

1529 – Francisco Pizarro González, Spanish conquistador, is appointed governor of Peru. Please note that this was Governor Pizarro of "Real World" Peru. Not the Governor of "Bizarro World" Peru. That guy was an Incan who conquered Spain by giving the Spaniards all of his people's gold and art. Then he deliberately brought Measles, Small Pox, and Syphilis back to South America for his own people to enjoy. 1745 – The first recorded women's cricket match takes place near Guildford, England. Ladies on the pitch? It's just not cricket! 1775 – The Second Continental Congress establishes the agency that would become the United States Postal Service. Benjamin Franklin of Pennsylvania is appointed Postmaster General. Contrary to popular belief, "The Check's in the Mail" is not actually the motto of the agency. 1882 – Premiere of Richard Wagner's opera Parsifal at Bayreuth. This would be the greatest addition to the body of work around the Legend of the Holy Grail until the revelations of Monty Python. 1891 – France annexes Tahiti. Because what's the point of an overseas empire if you don't have at least one nice tropical island? 1908 – United States Attorney General Charles Joseph Bonaparte issues an order to immediately staff the Office of the Chief Examiner (later renamed the Federal Bureau of Investigation). Pay attention here. Charles Joseph Bonaparte, the grandson of Jérôme-Napoléon Bonaparte, King of Westphalia and the youngest brother of Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte, was made Secretary of the Navy and United States Attorney General by President Theodore Roosevelt. That means he was in the Line of Succession to the Presidency of the United States He was at different times in charge of the US Navy and the Department of Justice. And in the latter post, he creates an office that would become America's premier agency for criminal investigation and law enforcement. 1914 – July Crisis: Edward Grey, the British foreign secretary, proposes that Britain, France, Italy and Germany mediate between Austria-Hungary and Russia. This would have been a great idea, if anyone had been interested in talking at this point. 1918 – Emmy Noether's paper, which became known as Noether's theorem was presented at Göttingen, Germany, from which conservation laws are deduced for symmetries of angular momentum, linear momentum, and energy. The First World War is in the final stages and things are about as bad as they can get in Imperial Germany. But even at this time, a woman can present a paper at a university that fundamentally alters the way the rest of the world understands physics? 1936 – King Edward VIII, in one of his few official duties before he abdicates the throne, officially unveils the Canadian National Vimy Memorial. The man would be King for only three hundred twenty six days, but found time to go to France? 1947 – Cold War: U.S. President Harry S. Truman signs the National Security Act of 1947 into United States law creating the Central Intelligence Agency, United States Department of Defense, United States Air Force, Joint Chiefs of Staff, and the United States National Security Council. That should be all the reorganization the American Military needs following WWII. 1948 – U.S. President Harry S. Truman signs Executive Order 9981, desegregating the military of the United States. Oops, forgot this one last year. 1971 – Launch of Apollo 15 and first use of a Lunar Roving Vehicle. Because cars on the moon. 2016 – Solar Impulse 2 becomes the first solar-powered aircraft to circumnavigate the Earth. Although it may have been assisted from a strong thermal (i.e. hot air) updraft in the vicinity of Philadelphia, PA, where the Democratic National Convention nominated Hillary Clinton for President on the same Day. 2017 – June Foray 1917 - 2017. Rocky the Flying Squirrel has been silenced.

The Eastland was known to be top heavy and had a history of listing even before the additional lifeboats were added. The additional lifeboats did make the problem worse, but the underlying problem was there long before. The Eastland was an unsafe vessel that was kept in service far too long.

Why not? Creating a calendar is actually pretty easy. Making it align with events outside your control and getting other people to use it takes some effort. But simply making a calendar is almost as simple as counting and drawing straight lines. Just ask Arnold Rimmer.

No matter how awkward life may be, it can always be more awkward.

Amazing disguise. Right up there with holding a big sign that reads "Don't Look At Me!" If this works, it can only mean that she has actually paid attention to the camouflage lessons of Edward Verres. Either that, or Les Immortels have been giving fashion advice. Speaking of whom, I am hoping we'll find out where those two have been before the break.

24 July 1567 – Mary, Queen of Scots, is forced to abdicate and replaced by her 1-year-old son James VI. Some children can be very demanding. Bu there comes a point when Mom must say, "No! Wait your turn." 1701 – Antoine de la Mothe Cadillac founds the trading post at Fort Pontchartrain, which later becomes the city of Detroit. Are they still willing to trade for it? 1814 – War of 1812: General Phineas Riall advances toward the Niagara River to halt Jacob Brown's American invaders. Ferb, I know what we're doing today. By the way, where's Commodore Perry? 1901 – William Sydney Porter, better known by the Pen Name O. Henry, is released from prison in Columbus, Ohio, after serving three years for embezzlement from a bank. A man embezzles from a bank, gets caught, and spend three years in prison. Not much of a twist ending to that short story, Mr Henry. 1915 – The passenger ship SS Eastland capsizes while tied to a dock in the Chicago River. A total of 844 passengers and crew are killed in the largest loss of life disaster from a single shipwreck on the Great Lakes. There are always risks inherent to sailing. But to capsize while TIED TO A DOCK? 1929 – The Kellogg–Briand Pact, renouncing war as an instrument of foreign policy, goes into effect (it is first signed in Paris on August 27, 1928, by most leading world powers). That's it. No more wars. 1943 – World War II: Operation Gomorrah begins: British and Canadian aeroplanes bomb Hamburg by night, and American planes bomb the city by day. By the end of the operation in November, 9,000 tons of explosives will have killed more than 30,000 people and destroyed 280,000 buildings. Apparently the 1929 Treaty wasn't quite as effective as hoped. 1950 – Cape Canaveral Air Force Station begins operations with the launch of a Bumper rocket. Remember, untrained civilians may operate the Bumper Cars at the Carnival. But only Rocket Scientists should operate Bumper Rockets at Canaveral. 1959 – At the opening of the American National Exhibition in Moscow, U.S. Vice President Richard Nixon and Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev have a "Kitchen Debate". Resolved, A Salad is the optimal opening course for the evening meal. For the affirmative, Mr Nixon. For the negative, or Soup, Mr Khruschev. 1969 – Apollo program: Apollo 11 splashes down safely in the Pacific Ocean. From Florida, they had to fly all the way to the moon before they could take their Pacific Cruise. But at least they were able to avoid changing flights in Atlanta. 1974 – Watergate scandal: The United States Supreme Court unanimously ruled that President Richard Nixon did not have the authority to withhold subpoenaed White House tapes and they order him to surrender the tapes to the Watergate special prosecutor. If you don't want your secret recordings used against you, don't make secret recordings. 1998 – Russell Eugene Weston Jr. bursts into the United States Capitol and opens fire killing two police officers. He is later ruled to be incompetent to stand trial. Almost any layman would say that entering the US Capitol armed and alone while shooting at anything that moves is insane. So why is does it seem so frustrating when it actually becomes the legal defense? 2001 – Simeon Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, the last Tsar of Bulgaria when he was a child, is sworn in as Prime Minister of Bulgaria, becoming the first monarch in history to regain political power through democratic election to a different office. So it can be done. Maybe those revolutionaries in other countries weren't necessarily wrong to execute the former monarchs after deposing them.

Are you considering a medical assistance alert device? If you do get one, WEAR IT AND USE IT! My father wouldn't hit the button on his pendant the times he fell. And my mother kept hiding hers.