Story Wednesday January 4, 2017

[Pharaoh RutinTutin 1,586]

8 hours ago, ijuin said:

In Moperville, whale save you!

Thank You, Yakov Smirnoff.

Folks, he'll be here all week.  Please try the fish and be sure to tip your waitress.

[Vorlonagent 442]

3 hours ago, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

Thank You, Yakov Smirnoff.

Folks, he'll be here all week.  Please try the fish and be sure to tip your waitress.

I thought we were supposed to try the veal...

[Pharaoh RutinTutin 1,586]

It's my club in the Catskills.  I set the menu.  And I like fish.

[CritterKeeper 1,102]

On January 9, 2017 at 9:55 AM, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

Thank You, Yakov Smirnoff.

Folks, he'll be here all week.  Please try the fish and be sure to tip your waitress.

But don't tip them too far or your drinks will spill!

[Vorlonagent 442]

57 minutes ago, CritterKeeper said:

But don't tip them too far or your drinks will spill!

Is that why people in the US midwest turned to cow tipping instead?

[CritterKeeper 1,102]

3 minutes ago, Vorlonagent said:

Is that why people in the US midwest turned to cow tipping instead?

Hey, careful what imply about our esteemed waitstaff, there!

[Vorlonagent 442]

Just now, CritterKeeper said:

Hey, careful what imply about our esteemed waitstaff, there!

Sorry about that.  Bad form on my part.   I meant "busty waitress tipping"...

[ProfessorTomoe 1,308]

I have never tipped a cow. They weigh too much to carry and are too large to fit into my wallet.

[Pharaoh RutinTutin 1,586]

2 hours ago, ProfessorTomoe said:

I have never tipped a cow. They weigh too much to carry and are too large to fit into my wallet.

For reasons beyond human comprehension I am compelled to say that the skill of making change for a cow is not easy to master.  You have to be ready for an udder disaster.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7hNOt2Y0J8

0:35 if you dare

[mlooney 3,417]

On 1/10/2017 at 7:13 PM, Vorlonagent said:

Is that why people in the US midwest turned to cow tipping instead?

We don't, it's a myth spread by people in coastal cities.

[ijuin 572]

Yes, people who have never seen cows up close are often unaware that the typical cow is too heavy for a single human to tip over unless said human is absurdly strong.

[mlooney 3,417]

2 minutes ago, ijuin said:

Yes, people who have never seen cows up close are often unaware that the typical cow is too heavy for a single human to tip over unless said human is absurdly strong.

Plus there is the whole "cattle don't sleep standing up" issue.  Hard to push over a sleeping cow/bull when they are already on the ground.

In theory horse tipping is possible, but you still have the mass and center of gravity issues to deal with.

[Pharaoh RutinTutin 1,586]

Don't cow tippers realize that a irritated cow or horse is likely to kick out wildly?

Getting kicked by a large quadruped will do more than tip a human.

[mlooney 3,417]

1 hour ago, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

Don't cow tippers realize that a irritated cow or horse is likely to kick out wildly with some degree of accuracy.

Fixed a detail for you.

[ProfessorTomoe 1,308]

1 hour ago, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

0:35 if you dare

Can you give me five yaks for a Hereford?

[ijuin 572]

5 hours ago, Pharaoh RutinTutin said:

Don't cow tippers realize that a irritated cow or horse is likely to kick out wildly?

Getting kicked by a large quadruped will do more than tip a human.

Especially since we have provided most domestic horses with a nice set of iron shoes...

[The Old Hack 2,448]

9 hours ago, ProfessorTomoe said:

Can you give me five yaks for a Hereford?

No, but if you hum a few notes I'll fake it.

[CritterKeeper 1,102]

4 hours ago, The Old Hack said:

No, but if you hum a few notes I'll fake it.

Okay, that's it!  One more treble pun like that and you're barred from the thread!  The staff will see you out.

*makes a note on /me's list*

[mlooney 3,417]

17 minutes ago, CritterKeeper said:

Okay, that's it!  One more treble pun like that and you're barred from the thread!  The staff will see you out.

*makes a note on /me's list*

/me makes second inscription on the list.

[CritterKeeper 1,102]

Someone's got to keep the tenor of the thread up, or we'll descend into bass humor.

[mlooney 3,417]

33 minutes ago, CritterKeeper said:

Someone's got to keep the tenor of the thread up, or we'll descend into bass humor.

You, my fine lady, get a pentagram with some runes next to your name

[ProfessorTomoe 1,308]

1 hour ago, CritterKeeper said:

Someone's got to keep the tenor of the thread up, or we'll descend into bass humor.

 

[Scotty 1,061]

7 hours ago, mlooney said:

You, my fine lady, get a pentagram with some runes next to your name

Question, whenever you write down those runes, does your dishwasher do anything different?

[Vorlonagent 442]

59 minutes ago, Scotty said:

Question, whenever you write down those runes, does your dishwasher do anything different?

Really, we'd want to be alert for changes in behavior from any major appliances...

[mlooney 3,417]

5 hours ago, Scotty said:

Question, whenever you write down those runes, does your dishwasher do anything different?

Where do you think I get the runes from?

4 hours ago, Vorlonagent said:

Really, we'd want to be alert for changes in behavior from any major appliances...

I'll keep that in mind.